So heya Everyone. I am very new to this whole transgender topic, Hell I'n new to the whole lesbian thing... (I'm kinda naive), but my girlfriend right now, in her terms, is gender->-bleeped-<-ed. Its a little harsh of a term, but it pretty much sums up her frustrations.
She is a lesbian.
She loves being a lesbian.
She is a girl.
She is okay with that,
BUT
She hates her breasts
She's super uncomfortable with her body
She's been on the FTM subject but denied it once
Now shes researching it again.
She wants top surgery
Has contemplated T
but doesn't like the idea of shaving
and pimples
but everything else is okay with her
She'd love to lose her curves
and trade them in for a more boxy body
She wants to be able to pass for a guy
But she doesn't want to be my "boyfriend"
I want to be with her through this. I love her so much and will go through whatever it takes to continue to support her and love her and be there for her every step of her journey, but I need some help.
I'm trying to research on FTM ness since I really dont know what that is like but i don't want to just sit there patting her back you know? I dont want to talk to her and not be able to give her real informed feedback. I want to be able to really help her through her trouble times?
Any tips?
Any Information I should know?
Am I doing the right thing?
Will any I do really help?
What would she be classified as? (thats more her question than mine..., but it'd be nice to give her an answer...)
I'm probably going to post lots and lots as she and I take this journey together. ^^ Just a fair warning.
Hi, there! Welcome to Susan's :)
So far, I think you're doing well :) Have either of you started looking at therapists yet? They can be a great help for you both, and can help your partner out with her confusion. It can be a great hurdle taking that step to accepting yourself. It's also possible that your partner is more of an androgyne than F2M. Only she can decide that though, but talking to a gender therapist can help.
I don't have too much other specific advice as my spouse is transitioning to female, but perhaps some others will stop by to chat.
As SO's we're sometimes in for a bumpy ride, but that doesn't mean we won't arrive at the end in one piece. Don't worry about posting too much (it's too quiet over here anyhow :P )
WR
I was just about to say what Windrider did- perhaps your girlfriend is an androgyne? Or even something else entirely. Sometimes premade labels just don't fit. :)
I think you are doing the right thing. You're supporting her and wanting to learn more, that's the best reaction anyone could hope for. :) And I think your support must be helping her a lot. You don't have to have all the answers, you don't have to be an encyclopedia, you just being there for her is enough. :)
As for tips? :D H'mm. Be prepared for a very introspective ride. :D
Yeah she denies the androgen label...
I dunno, she's become very... irritable lately.... i dont know how to take that. ^^; I mean I understand her frustrations, but I guess she's still holding more than she'll say. (she has a therapist btw ^^)
Aaw, I'm sorry to hear that. :-\ People do often get irritable when faced with a 'problem' they just can't solve. If it really starts bothering you then sit her down and let her know that you can deal with a lot but you still deserve to not be treated like a punching bag.
Yeah I suppose you're right. ^^