i am new to this... i am 48 years old and have realized over the past few years that i identify a transgender...(anger issues, not fully identifying with my "birth gender") anyway... a question was posed to me about being too old to start transitioning to my true gender... so i was wondering is there an accepted age that is considered too old or not...
thanks for listening... kimi
I have seen examples of really old people doin the transformation and I personly dont think one can get "To" old for it. If it makes you feel better inside so go for it no matter how old you are.
Hi kimi, welcome to Susan's!
There is never an age to late to transition ;). There are many your age that do it, and then many more who are in their 60's, 70's and heck later.
There is no such thing as "too old to transition". I know several people who transitioned in their 60's.
Sarah L.
what they said. and you're not in the minority at all. tons of ladies transition in their 40s and beyond.
a better question would be - do you want to spend the rest of your life as your birth gender?
Quote from: Nero on March 11, 2009, 03:27:32 PM
what they said. and you're not in the minority at all. tons of ladies transition in their 40s and beyond.
a better question would be - do you want to spend the rest of your life as your birth gender?
Well said, Nero!
-Sandy
thank you all for your opinions. i was not sure if i was on a fool's errand by wanting to transition. being my age i know it will not be as easy (not to mean any of this is easy) but if i was younger it may be more acceptable than being my age.
anyway i do appreciate everything you have told me.
kimi
Well I wanted to transistion all my life, with a few false starts, I did not really start to tansistion till I was 50, now 53. So age is not an issue at all.
Beni
As long as warm sun rises,
Upon each brand new day,
And you've resolved to be yourself,
Transition is okay.
The truth is very simple,
Something everyone should know,
It's too late only once you've joined,
The earthworms down below.
;)
It's never too old to do anything. The oldest person to have ever fully transitioned, including GRS was 73 years old. One of Sanguan's patients.
Your alive and kickin' right? Your never to old to be yourself as you wish yourself to be. I'm 47 :laugh:
The latest anyone could possible transition is the day before they pass over. Then it is still possible to be your true gender. Even if it was only of a day. And pass over happy.
No age is "too old" your only as old as you feel ;)
Jay
Remember, age is just a number, old or young is how you feel. The two really don't have any relationship.
-Sandy
A cancer survivor friend of mine says "Any day above ground is a good day." So I guess any good day is a good day to transition. I have a question of my own. Does HRT work as effectively after 50 or later? Genevieve
Genevieve,
am 54, almost 55. I have been on HRT for 11 Months now. I am a 38B, down to 145 from 180, starting to fill out in the behind and my hips areal lot more feminine. And I started with minimal breast development and pretty much a boy shape.
So you be the judge. It is all in the genetics.
Thank you Janet. I am wanting to distribute some proportions to my butt. My waist has gotten larger from eating too much but I like the weight elsewhere. Hugs,Genevieve
Quote from: Genevieve Swann on March 13, 2009, 07:04:01 AM
I have a question of my own. Does HRT work as effectively after 50 or later? Genevieve
I started HRT when I was 54 and have been on HRT for over 2 1/2 years. After that period of time I have had some dramatic feminization. My skin has softened, and there has been quite a bit of fat redistribution to my hips and butt. And also, my ability to maintain or lose weight has become much harder (damn!).
As the anti-androgens work, and block the effects of testosterone, your body will become less masculine, mostly, causing loss of body hair and upper body strength. And the effectiveness of the estrodial will start feminizing your body, softening of skin, changes to hair, softening of facial features, breast and hip development and other secondary sexual characteristics.
These will occur to a greater or lesser degree depending on the individual. Age does have some bearing on it as well.
Also the cross gender effect only changes soft tissue like skin, muscle and fat. It cannot have any effect on tendon, cartilage or bone. So if you are a medium height man, you'll become a moderately tall woman.
Puberty doesn't happen overnight, but it does happen.
-Sandy
Quote from: Sandy on March 13, 2009, 08:44:31 AM
Puberty doesn't happen overnight, but it does happen.
-Sandy
Wow, great saying.
For many MtFs.
As you age T decreases, The need to transition becomes greater. How old is too old? As others have said. I want to die as a women. And my bro's want to die as men. There is never to old. And anyway you're spring chicken.
;)
Cindy James (56 and totally in denial)
You're too old when you're dead.
I've come to realise that it not a matter of "too old"....
....but more a matter of how thick we have managed to build the walls we live in....
....and how long it takes for us to break them down.... ;D
Chrissty
My decision has come down to not how long have I "lived" as man, but rather how much longer could I go on living forcing myself to live as a male.
I'm 33 and have known for sure over half my life that I really am a woman trapped in a mans body.
Thank goodness for transition... its either saved my life or better yet will make life worth living.
Hugs...Michelle.
Quote from: Chrissty on March 14, 2009, 06:02:00 PM
I've come to realise that it not a matter of "too old"....
....but more a matter of how thick we have managed to build the walls we live in....
....and how long it takes for us to break them down.... ;D
Chrissty
We here with the wrecking ball, Lady. Which wall do you want us to start on? :icon_builder:
:D
While a girl should never give her age out, I'll plead guilty to having been around since Harry Truman was president. I'm just getting ready to formally start transition in a year and a half when I retire. The warming up exercises are great too. :-* Yes that is me in the photo from about ten months ago. :icon_mrgreen:
Let's hear the opinion of a young woman now. I think if you're 30 or over, you're too old to transition. Does that mean you shouldn't transition? no it doesn't mean that. Unlike young transitioners that had a solid conviction of what they were when they were children, I also know there are many gals that didn't get a clear sense of what they were until later on in life; they married other women, had children, hid in their careers & marriages, fell into their own traps to deny what they were so it's only fair that they break thru all the fear & guilt and be who they are even at an older age. What everybody should be asking isn't about when it's too old to transition but if your transition is going to be successful when it's done later on in life.
Quote from: Yvonne on March 18, 2009, 11:49:16 PM
Unlike young transitioners that had a solid conviction of what they were when they were children
Yvonne,
You are truely blessed to have been able to transition
in a time when you had the information and support availible to
you that you needed to make your dream a reality. Please
don't assume that because I transitioned at the age of fourty
that the conviction that I or anyone of my generation or
before us felt was any less strong. I didn't go through life in a
state of confusion, befuddled as to what my problem was.
As I sat crying across the kitchen table from my Mama as I told
her I wanted to be a girl, at the age of seven, the only one
confused was Mama. She was also terrified for me of a society that,
up to a short time prior to this point, "Treated" conditions such
as this and homosexuality with aversion and/or electroshock "therepy".
How many beatings would you have to endure before you
realized that the only way you were going to survive was to "Man Up"?
Do you know the story of "Stonewall"? If you don't, then you
might find it interesting reading. We all stand on the shoulders of
giants. As I look at your picture and those of all the beautiful
young women that populate this site, my emotions are bitter sweet,
I am overjoyed for your generation, that you are able to enjoy
the victories of the horrible struggles that those that have come
before you have had to endured. At the same time I am dam jealous
because of what decades spent living behind a carefully constructed
facade has done to my body. I am not seeking your apology or
your pitty, I only wanted to give you a small glimpse into what life
was like for one old manly looking bitch.
Always Love,
Heather Rose
Technically, it is never too late in life to transition. There are no legal age limits on transitioning - you can be 18 or 81, and you'll get the same medical treatment.
If you are so desperate to transition that you can't see living your life in your birth gender, then by all means, become who you are.
HOWEVER: People (particularly MTFs) who transition later in life usually do not pass as well as those who transitioned early. If you do transition, you'll have to come to terms with the possibility that you may get "clocked" more often than a younger MTF. The male body and face structure is such a deviation from the "default" female structure that it is unlikely that a 48-year-old birth-male who begins transition will be able to pass 100% of the time.
However, this is not about other people. This is about you. Do YOU want to transition? Do YOU feel like you'd be much happier as a woman? Then do what makes you happy. Other people's opinions don't mean a thing if transitioning would mean finally being at peace in your own body.
Thank you all for your comments... I appreciate them all. I do have to say I can relate to Heatherrose, I was 4 yrs old when my mom asked me "How's my little boy?" I answered her "I'm not your little boy"... I have since been tormented for 44 years since then. As for Yvonne, yes, my question was how old is too old... Unlike young transitioners that had a solid conviction of what they were when they were children... I was growing up in the age of Rene Richards... we were not as lucky as the younger generation is now... it would have been literal suicide if it were to be known before... (being hispanic - Mexican) now with more and more acceptance of transitioning MTF, FTM... corrections can be made. I know I will never look 100% female - 165 lbs, 5'7" etc... but inside where it counts I will be true to myself... reading all of your posts, I have come to the realization I must be true to myself at whatever the cost... for if I am not, the only person I am fooling is myself.
Again thank you all for your comments... I have taken them all to heart.
Kimi
I transitioned at the age of 48.
(I realized I needed to do something about my gender when I was 45... then I began preparing for transition... it took me almost 3 years to prepare before I took the plunge... but many others move through the process a lot quicker... I took longer because I had my family trying to apply brakes on me... until I busted loose and went for broke)
the passing issues at an older age is a mute subject when compared with excellent ffs results.
if your comments are based on hrt treatments alone then yes but with age comes finance and ability to pay for things you cannot as a youth.
i can say i have never seen a badly passing older woman to date who has had good ffs and most are just living their lives un-noticed
hi ...just a little here i am 61 . h r t for me was about 4 years ago .. my s r s & b a . 19 may 0 7 been out over 11 years .how old do you need to be only as old as you can take havining your op.s . healh wise is the only concern . & mentally (( un less . you are a nut case like me )) thats a giggle..... youll do good .. just prepare your self first . mind & body ....
...noeleena...
Hi Kimi, welcome to Susan's
As long as your heart, blood pressure, liver, lungs, blood checks out OK you can be 99 years old, if you pass the physical you can transition and have SRS as well. I am sixty four, been living full time 9 years and post-op 4 years. There is another here who is 73 years old and had her surgery at the age I am now.
Aging will affect you in the sense that as you get older you're testosterone level drops as a normal result of aging. With the lower testosterone level you will find an acceleration in your gender dysphoria complication and discover it being increasingly more dificult to control or repress effectively as a result.
It is said that HRT works most effectively the younger you are, and I will not dispute that, for it appears to be a more constant result in the younger generation. then it does in the older generation. But I am quite satisfied with what I got out of the estrogen in the past 9 years, I have no complaints, it may just take a little longer then a younger person. I am the one with the long brown hair on the right in my avatar pic and that is my partner sitting tot the left of me.
When your time comes that you need to go forward hun, just put one foot ahead of the other and don't look back. Because in the end it is your decision to make and only yours, on one else, you do it for you. Of course do consult a therapist to help walk you through it, you will need someone who is a professional to confide in.
Cindy
Somewhere is the forums you can find info on Aunt Christine. She is from Florida and is 66 years old.
Just a thought. Actually a couple.
We've heard from all the ladies who have posted who are "mature" (me included). But where are the guys?
All right all you gents out there! You know we ladies don't usually talk about our age, but here we have bared all. Now it's your turn!
How many older (alright mature) gents are out there and when did you transition?
Another thing. This question has come up a couple of times, maybe we ought to make a separate topic for the older (mature!) person who transitions. That could be anything past (or waaaaay past) puberty. Maybe 40 something?
What are your thoughts, everyone?
-Sandy(don't muck about with me or I'll swing my cane at you!)
i would much prefer you made the thread wayyyyy past 40 something please Sandy
i am fast approaching that age :P
I was 55 when I transitioned, but I had a clear sense of who I was at an early age. In the 1950's, transitioning was not something someone could do, except for Christine, of course. And was I jealous of her! Yes, I married, had children, career, etc, and now.....I am Beverly
Anytime is a good time to pull out a thorn.
Bev
Quote from: Sandy on March 20, 2009, 11:23:10 AM
Just a thought. Actually a couple.
We've heard from all the ladies who have posted who are "mature" (me included). But where are the guys?
All right all you gents out there! You know we ladies don't usually talk about our age, but here we have bared all. Now it's your turn!
How many older (alright mature) gents are out there and when did you transition?
Another thing. This question has come up a couple of times, maybe we ought to make a separate topic for the older (mature!) person who transitions. That could be anything past (or waaaaay past) puberty. Maybe 40 something?
What are your thoughts, everyone?
-Sandy(don't muck about with me or I'll swing my cane at you!)
Well, unfortunately I'm transitioning now at 30. I had planned to do it 3 or 4 years ago now, but circumstances arised such as ill health. And I'm only now medically able to transition (I think, still have to get a clearance for HRT and surgery).
So, yeah, now I'm an old transitioner. ;D
OW OW OW Thanks Sis.
I didn't need that mental image.
OW OW OW OW
is 19 too old and stupid to transition?
I'm 18, almost 19 in a few days.
I have my E shot today and I'm on AAs.
Quote from: Tanya1 on March 20, 2009, 08:16:28 PM
is 19 too old and stupid to transition?
No and no.
Have you read the rest of the thread???
****
I think I may create a topic for the younger trans person as well...
-Sandy
Quote from: Tanya1 on March 20, 2009, 08:16:28 PM
is 19 too old and stupid to transition?
I'm 18, almost 19 in a few days.
I have my E shot today and I'm on AAs.
That's too old. you should've transitioned when you were 10. ::)
Should have got SRS while still in the womb.
-----------------------------------------------------
Just being a smarty pants
Cindy
hi... well we all know we ladys dont tell ...our age ... yea right . i .m the nutter here so no probs ....he he .... born 11 aug 1947 . male karyotype 46 x y ...please note the gender stated on the referal form differs from the karyotype sex
So at least now i know i am different .
What it did not say or could is my brain is a mix of both male & female . it was there in the begining. just could not be seen . .... rat.s ...
I missed that one . .you see there is no test for us who are not as they think we shouild be .. never mind that came a long time later ... now it does not matter . i am who i am . & now loveing who i am . no hold.s barred . free if you like ... yes ....YES....the detail is .. & for some of us it.s that damm hard road we have to go down . that makes or brakes us .. & its not the same for all of us .at 61 i am the most happyest now as that other women with the male back ground ..& when we accept our selfs for who we are .... hey it can be neat ..
...noeleena...
Hi,
The pressure has been building within me all my life, like a volcano. At almost 58 years old, i think I am about to errupt.
Seriously, all my life i knew there was something in me, but it is only in the last 10 to 15 years that I have begun, --- with the coming of the internet and the availabiility of information,-- to understand myself.
Now i want to be me.
my worries are if I will ever be able to live up to my desires, my dreams of how I would like to be.
Will I always look like a man in drag, or will be able to look like a woman, albeit an oldish one, if I were to transition.
If I transition, will I swap one prison for another? Currently you could argue that I imprison myself. If I transition, others will imprison me if I cant "pass".
I desperately wish I had wised up so much earlier. All that time as a man, when I could have been a woman. I feel so sad sometimes when i think what might have been, I cant help but cry.
Now i am really thinking of begining the process, but have major doubts. Not about my desires, but about if I still have the courage and determination to withstand all the difficulties that would lie ahead if I follow my soul to where it would take me.
I am at a fork in my road.
If I remain as I am, I will die knowing that I lived a life in a physical form that never truly satisfied my inner self. So I think for the rest of whatever time I have l left, I should be a woman.
But somehow over the years, through suppression and ignorance, I have managed to laugh sometimes. I have earned money and had fun and lived.
Although that was never enough to bring the illusive contentment I sought, (now I know why), it did get me through 57 years.
So should I resign myself to carrying on, and lament what might have been.
Honestly I dont know if I have the strength for either course of action.
I only know that sometimes, my desire to walk out of the house and into the world, as an unrestrained and openly declared woman, with all the freedoms that would bring my soul, is so strong that I want to explode.
And all I can do is sit and cry.
Is it too late?
I dont know.
damned if I do damned if I dont.
I wish I could be born the same person today. I might just have realised a lot sooner who I am. And then i know I would have no hesitation.
The courage of my youth has deserted me it seems.
Hello, WishIwasLaura,
My name is Paula and I am Cindy's marriage partner. I am 59 and post-op since November 2008. I began my transition when I was 51. I would write to you myself but I haven't logged onto Susan's under my own name in such a long time that I forgot how!
I was reading over Cindy's shoulder and I hope that you don't mind that, nor my writing to you.
As I see it, you already are Laura. You are already working on letting her out to present herself to the world. She is really who you are inside, who you were born. There is an incongruity between her inside and outside that is a problem but it is not insurmountable.
I don't believe that it is too late to be 100% yourself, Laura. The courage of your youth hasn't deserted you. Look back and think about back then: why didn't you or I do something about it in 1969, the year I graduated high school? To whom could we talk? How long would we have survived in that world? What doctor could help? Was there a psychiatrist in your town who was sufficiently enlightened to help? Did you serve in the military? Would it have been safe to be you there? And how about career, maybe family, and so on?
No, the courage of your youth has not left you. It was there for other endeavours, not this one. You have a new toolbox to help you through this journey. I might call it the "armour of maturity."
Now that you are 58 or so, what is stopping you? Whose permission do you need? I had no children (oligospermia, poor motility), divorced, was a senior person in my career, lived by myself, and I answered only to myself and the Almighty. Period.
I began being me after work and on weekends. I bought a quality hairpiece, tried my clothes on in the womens' dressing room before I paid for them, bought shoes in the large size section of the store, had a makeover at-home from a Mary Kay consultant, and told the world to kiss my class.
I went everywhere and never gave it a thought about if they were "trans-friendly." If they were open for business they had better take my money and be nice about it.
Two years later, when I was 53, I reported to work as myself.
I tell you all of this, Laura, because it is never too late to transition and to make right nature's errors. You have experience and wisdom on your side. You know that no one can deny you what you need unless you allow them.
Sure, it's scary at first but if you take the first step and ***contact a gender therapist***, it will be a lot easier than you think.
Please write to me here if you want to talk more.
You can do it.
Paula
Post Merge: June 21, 2010, 11:42:02 PM
Hi WishIwasLaura,
I am Cindy, going on 11 years full time, or there abouts, and four years post opp.
This is the way it boiled down for me going 11 years ago now. I found myself driving down highway 400 coming back from Toronto Ontario. I was in deep pain inside, had been for some time but never let it show on the outside. After so many years of becoming familiar with my distinct different characteristics and personalities I came to identify myself as two persons in one. One on the inside and one on the outside. In time I came to realize that both personalities had always been residing as as one since I was old enough remember.
That night as I drove I thought to myself, how many times have I thought about what would it be like if "I were able to kill the inner-self?" Would I essentially be killing another person that had been so much a part of me for all of my life? Of course, killing her would mean killing the outer persona as well. One can not kill the inner-self without killing both inner and outer selves, and I had not desire to do such a thing, especially not to the inner-self. It was the outer-self I wished would go away.
I realy had no desire to kill off anything I only just wished the outer-self would just simply vanish. To me, after all those years the inner-self had become like a refuge during troubled times, a best friend, a companion who at times illuminated the path ahead for me. To banish her would trully be like killing myself. I was caught between a rock and a hard place and as I saw it there was no alternative or other way out except to drive my car into a rock cut that night. *So such it was that I thought and felt at the time*.
This was where it had come down to that night. I found myself driving down a darkened highway with very few other cars about, I was actually looking for a suitable rock cut to drive my car into to end it all. Suddenly it was like a voice spoke in my mind, the voice of the inner self that spoke to me softly but firmly asking me a question. "Do you truly wanted to do what I was about to do?" "I spoke back with some anger and irritation in my voice, tears streaking down my cheeks. "What other alternative is there?" The voice responded softly, "I will leave you with this thought: who is it that truly wishes to die here on this night?" The resulting choice? Well, I am still here.
This was a Friday and I went to see my supervisor at Social Services and came out to her and told her that I would be coming into work as my true self the following Friday. That Friday morning I steped out of my apartment as proud as anything all decked out like a lady going out to do here dayly duties at work. I had that song going on in my head, Harper Vally PTA,
I had three children put in my custody on the first two years of my going full time. I had three children of my own and 8 foster children through the years.
I'm hoping never. Once you know you want too and tell everyone the remaining hurdle can be awesome. Financing your transition and SRS.
But I'll still opt for ... never!
Quote from: Sephirah on March 11, 2009, 10:23:05 PM
As long as warm sun rises,
Upon each brand new day,
And you've resolved to be yourself,
Transition is okay.
The truth is very simple,
Something everyone should know,
It's too late only once you've joined,
The earthworms down below.
;)
That's a beautiful poem.
Post Merge: July 06, 2010, 06:48:13 PM
Quote from: Nero on March 20, 2009, 12:52:58 PM
Well, unfortunately I'm transitioning now at 30. I had planned to do it 3 or 4 years ago now, but circumstances arised such as ill health. And I'm only now medically able to transition (I think, still have to get a clearance for HRT and surgery).
So, yeah, now I'm an old transitioner. ;D
Old!?!?! I'm 33 and I'm not old!!! How can you be? :D
My transition age is something that I have been thinking about often. When I first admitted that I was trans, I felt stupid for taking this long to admit it and start my transition. These days I realize that I can't change that part now, and even though it is later than I would like it is the time when I am able to. I am trying to focus on moving forward as fast as I can to make up for lost time, so I can enjoy what time I do have still.
Although I am 26 and older than some people here, I am very glad that I have the opportunity to transition now. Although it is true that hormones and some other things would be more effective if I was younger, I will still be able to enjoy so much of my adult life as my true self, and for that I am grateful. I also consider myself lucky by being self-sufficient, not in a relationship, and I have many wonderful, helpful, and supportive friends.
I think the only time when you are too old to transition is when you are no longer alive. The most important thing to be is yourself regardless of your appearance, as corny as that may sound. I admire the courage and struggles that older trans people must have, and have nothing but love and admiration for them. Make every day count!
Quote from: Tsukiko on July 07, 2010, 09:05:06 AM
My transition age is something that I have been thinking about often. When I first admitted that I was trans, I felt stupid for taking this long to admit it and start my transition. These days I realize that I can't change that part now, and even though it is later than I would like it is the time when I am able to. I am trying to focus on moving forward as fast as I can to make up for lost time, so I can enjoy what time I do have still.
Although I am 26 and older than some people here, I am very glad that I have the opportunity to transition now. Although it is true that hormones and some other things would be more effective if I was younger, I will still be able to enjoy so much of my adult life as my true self, and for that I am grateful. I also consider myself lucky by being self-sufficient, not in a relationship, and I have many wonderful, helpful, and supportive friends.
I think the only time when you are too old to transition is when you are no longer alive. The most important thing to be is yourself regardless of your appearance, as corny as that may sound. I admire the courage and struggles that older trans people must have, and have nothing but love and admiration for them. Make every day count!
Hi, well I took 48 years and I am now 51 so 26 is young to me, lol.
Hope it goes well for you, there are many ups and downs to face but there is life at the end a new life full of endless possibilities.
Stardust
Being in my sixties, I was worried that I might be too old for GRS. I called Dr Bowers office. They said their oldest patient was 79.
Transition when you are ready and not before. ;)
That happy old lady,
Kate
i worry about the same thing, i want to do this now while i feel like the getting is good. i'm 18, and people on here take that as a joke, because most transsexuals nowadays don't decide to transition until they are about 40 and divorced, but it doesn't matter. the reason we do this is to be our true selves, and be happy with the person we see in the mirror everyday, so age really doesn't matter.
No such thing as too old to transition.
it is too late when you are 6' under dirt and pushing up daisys
Ok, you have a point. I meant as long as your alive. You really do have a point tho, so many think of suicide as an option. (I have too.)
I'm of the opinion that there is no age too old to be who you want to be.
However, I think transitioning gets harder as you get older. The older you are, the more your former identity will weigh on your new life and the harder it will be to pass because the years that you had hormones of your birth gender in your body will show traces.
The younger you can transition, if you are ready to do so and have the means, the better. Waiting only leaves more heartache.
Transitioning is for you, you do it when you're ready, and that's the perfect time