Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Real-Life Experience => Topic started by: Melissa on August 24, 2006, 02:51:49 PM

Title: New friend in stealth?
Post by: Melissa on August 24, 2006, 02:51:49 PM
I've been doing some stealth where I've attended some women's only events (TS supposedly ok) and I didn't tell anybody I was TS.  I think one woman has read me, but hasn't said anything.  Anyway, I go to this one series of events and there was another woman who started attending at the same time I did.  I was the first person she met and she was one of the first people I met.  She hosted the last event at her house last Friday and weveryone had fun.  I helped with both the setup and cleanup (part of my volunteering efforts) and Wednesday I received a wonderful e-card from her thanking me.  So now we have been kind of emailing back and forth and I'm fairly certain she has no idea I'm TS.  So, this is my first experience having a friend (I hope it develops more) who doesn't know about my history.

Melissa
Title: Re: New friend in stealth?
Post by: Sarah Louise on August 24, 2006, 02:55:18 PM
I am glad it went well for you.

To me, it isn't going stealth, it is just living as who you are.

Sarah L.
Title: Re: New friend in stealth?
Post by: Melissa on August 24, 2006, 03:08:51 PM
Thanks Sarah.

You can live as who you are and be open about your past or secretive about your past.  Most of the things I do, people know I'm TS.  This was justone of the things where I never mentioned to anyone I am TS, because I didn't want them to look at me as anything other than a woman.

Melissa
Title: Re: New friend in stealth?
Post by: Buffy on August 24, 2006, 10:12:16 PM
Hi Melissa

Great story and it is wonderful re-enforcement of how well you are progressing.

The majority of my friends do not know about my past (or have never asked?), one when I told her actually said "Yeah I knew, but it never made a difference to me, I have only ever known Becky"

New friends have taken me at face value which is important, rather than being concerned about my past.

Buffy
Title: Re: New friend in stealth?
Post by: Sheila on August 25, 2006, 10:31:27 AM
You don't have to tell people that you are a TS, you are who you are. You are not going stealth as someone mentioned before,b ut going as yourself. If it comes up that someone does find out, be proud of who you are and don't hee haw about it and tell them. You dont have to go into detail. Chances are that it will come out, but so will a zit on your chin sometime. I have found out that most people don't even care. If they talk behind your back it is none of your business. Go on with your life and have fun. You deserve to live your life the way you are.
Sheila
Title: Re: New friend in stealth?
Post by: Melissa on August 25, 2006, 10:36:45 AM
Sheila, it's not quite as simple as that because of the nature of the group.  I don't really want to go into details about it though.  Anyhow, as you said, I won't deny who I am and if it is a big deal, then I will have walked away learning a lesson.

Melissa
Title: Re: New friend in stealth?
Post by: jaded on August 25, 2006, 12:53:22 PM
thats awesome melissa always nice to make a new friend