Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: sneakersjay on March 19, 2009, 09:01:41 AM

Title: Coming out to date - UPDATE
Post by: sneakersjay on March 19, 2009, 09:01:41 AM
Well, it's finally time to come out to the lady I've been dating.  I can't go any further or completely be myself until she knows my history.  I have kids who still call me Mom, though they're pretty good about  male pronouns, and family and occasionally coworkers who still slip with pronouns.  I like her and want her in my life, but the time has come.

A good friend and transguy made some recommendations on how to go about it, so here's hoping I'm not dumped!


Jay
Title: Re: Coming out to date
Post by: Janet_Girl on March 19, 2009, 10:46:01 AM
I wish you the best, Jay.  If she cares for you at all, she may want to think about this news for awhile.

But you always can try again if the 'dumping' happens.  And if it does happen, we are for you to dump on.  ;D

Janet

Title: Re: Coming out to date
Post by: myles on March 19, 2009, 12:51:34 PM
Good luck! I hope all goes well.
Myles
Title: Re: Coming out to date
Post by: Jay on March 19, 2009, 01:02:25 PM
I hope all goes well and like Janet says if worst comes to worst *touches wood* then we are here for you bud!

When are you meeting your lady friend then?

Jay
Title: Re: Coming out to date
Post by: sneakersjay on March 19, 2009, 01:16:01 PM
I'm prepared to be dumped, but hope it's not the case.  But whatever happens, I've had more dating action as a transguy than I had prior to transition!  So it's all good, no matter what happens.


Jay

Post Merge: March 19, 2009, 01:17:23 PM

Quote from: Jay on March 19, 2009, 01:02:25 PM
I hope all goes well and like Janet says if worst comes to worst *touches wood* then we are here for you bud!

When are you meeting your lady friend then?

Jay

We had a date yesterday, and after that I decided I needed to come out.  I'm hoping to tell her by Monday, because Monday I have a speaking engagement (trans related) where she can come and get more info/input.

Jay
Title: Re: Coming out to date
Post by: Jay on March 19, 2009, 01:48:24 PM
That is definitely a good way especially if you are doing a speach on trans people.

I hope it all works out well :)

Jay
Title: Re: Coming out to date
Post by: pong on March 19, 2009, 02:05:54 PM
Goodluck Jay! Hope it all works out!
Title: Re: Coming out to date
Post by: Osiris on March 19, 2009, 02:14:43 PM
Good luck Jay! It sounds like you have a good plan. I'm crossin my fingers for you. ;)
Title: Re: Coming out to date
Post by: sd on March 19, 2009, 02:32:07 PM
I wish you luck Jay.
Title: Re: Coming out to date - UPDATE
Post by: sneakersjay on March 22, 2009, 03:53:30 PM
And the answer is...


... No.


I expected it, but the hardest part of her saying no was that she was "not interested" in coming to the Trans Panel where I'm speaking on Monday to learn a bit more.

C'est la vie!!


Jay
Title: Re: Coming out to date - UPDATE
Post by: Kristen on March 22, 2009, 03:55:37 PM
Oh well, her loss.
Title: Re: Coming out to date - UPDATE
Post by: Jay on March 22, 2009, 04:44:47 PM
Quote from: Kristen on March 22, 2009, 03:55:37 PM
Oh well, her loss.

I second that! Sorry Jay.

Jay
Title: Re: Coming out to date - UPDATE
Post by: pong on March 22, 2009, 04:51:29 PM
Sorry to hear Jay! Like what Kristen said, it's her loss...
Title: Re: Coming out to date - UPDATE
Post by: Nero on March 22, 2009, 04:53:13 PM
Quote from: sneakersjay on March 22, 2009, 03:53:30 PM
And the answer is...


... No.


I expected it, but the hardest part of her saying no was that she was "not interested" in coming to the Trans Panel where I'm speaking on Monday to learn a bit more.

C'est la vie!!


Jay

No as in what? it's over just because you're trans/ that's it? ??? how long had you been seeing each other?
Title: Re: Coming out to date - UPDATE
Post by: sd on March 22, 2009, 05:44:26 PM
I'm sorry Jay, I wish it had gone better.
Title: Re: Coming out to date - UPDATE
Post by: myles on March 22, 2009, 05:46:17 PM
Jay sorry to hear she was not responsive/interested to going to the Panel. Definitely her loss dude.
Myles
Title: Re: Coming out to date - UPDATE
Post by: Janet_Girl on March 22, 2009, 07:47:00 PM
Sorry, Jay.  But there is always another day and another date.


~ Hugs Big Guy ~
Janet



Title: Re: Coming out to date - UPDATE
Post by: sneakersjay on March 23, 2009, 07:09:15 AM
Quote from: Nero on March 22, 2009, 04:53:13 PM
No as in what? it's over just because you're trans/ that's it? ??? how long had you been seeing each other?

Yep, over because I'm trans, not interested in going to the panel, not really into discussing it in person, nothing's going to change her mind.  This was after the 5th date where we were clearly into each other and planning a 6th date.

Jay
Title: Re: Coming out to date - UPDATE
Post by: Miniar on March 23, 2009, 07:29:37 AM
At least it came up before you were head over heels in love with her.
*hugs*
Title: Re: Coming out to date - UPDATE
Post by: sneakersjay on March 23, 2009, 08:09:56 AM
Quote from: Miniar on March 23, 2009, 07:29:37 AM
At least it came up before you were head over heels in love with her.
*hugs*

Exactly. 


Jay
Title: Re: Coming out to date - UPDATE
Post by: sneakersjay on March 23, 2009, 08:10:26 AM
Quote from: Janet Lynn on March 22, 2009, 07:47:00 PM
Sorry, Jay.  But there is always another day and another date.


~ Hugs Big Guy ~
Janet

Thanks, Janet!

Jay
Title: Re: Coming out to date - UPDATE
Post by: Dennis on March 23, 2009, 09:58:19 AM
Like others have said, her loss. Thanks for posting your experience Jay, it's good to learn that life goes on and we can take these things in stride.

Dennis
Title: Re: Coming out to date - UPDATE
Post by: SarahFaceDoom on March 23, 2009, 05:56:44 PM
Just to echo what others have said.  Her loss.  It sucks.  But it's good that you found that out about her before you got too deep into it.  Like you said, you're getting enough action now anyways.  There's obviously other fish in the sea for you.  No reason to worry about someone that was into you for the wrong reasons.