got two questions that i would be really greatful if anyone could help me with...
1) the only person i have told about how i feel is my partner, and to be honest it didnt really come out how i would have wished it too. i feel as though i need to start telling my friends about my gender issues before i can take steps towards transitioning... any advice on how is the best way to approach this??
2) how do i go about explaining to a doc that i wish to make a FTM transition without sounding like an idiot?
i have known how i feel since i was 17, and i am 22 now. but now i have all these thoughts in my head over how to make the first steps forward.
i already look boyish, short hair, mens clothes. and am out as a lesbian. how do i tell my friends and a doc how i really feel?
hope that all made sense lol :-\
Quote from: savin_glory on March 20, 2009, 02:04:36 PM
got two questions that i would be really greatful if anyone could help me with...
1) the only person i have told about how i feel is my partner, and to be honest it didnt really come out how i would have wished it too. i feel as though i need to start telling my friends about my gender issues before i can take steps towards transitioning... any advice on how is the best way to approach this??
2) how do i go about explaining to a doc that i wish to make a FTM transition without sounding like an idiot?
i have known how i feel since i was 17, and i am 22 now. but now i have all these thoughts in my head over how to make the first steps forward.
i already look boyish, short hair, mens clothes. and am out as a lesbian. how do i tell my friends and a doc how i really feel?
hope that all made sense lol :-\
There is no right or wrong way of telling people. I have been amazed at how well the people I know have taken my news. Even those friends who were told second hand phoned me up and said I could count on them. I Know writing down your thoughts help to make it coherent to others.
Also others have chosen just a few close friends first.
As to the docs just make an appointment and say how you feel and want to be referred to the nearest gender clinic in your area.
I hope some of that helps
Stardust
I'll pretty much just second what stardust said. I have yet to find a really easy way of bringing it up, although I was able to come out to 2 people today. 1, I mentioned that I had an appointment, and when he pressed what it was for I asked if he was sure he wanted to know and kind of prepared him for some big news and then told him what the appointment was for (laser) and why I was getting it done. he took it quite well.
the second girl was over IM, and I basically wrote her a book and then sent it to her while she was at luch. she came back shocked and had lots of questions and was also supportive.
as for the doc, check with the support groups in your area or get a refferal from a gender clinic or if you have the luxury, a local friend that has gone through the same thing. this is where I am right now (although MTF) and I think i am just going to print out a giant list and throw darts and see how it goes.
I've had a go at #2, telling a Doctor.
You probably don't need to worry about that, as far as I know most Doctors will refer you to all the appropriate people and won't treat you badly because of it. Though that may just have been my Doctor. :p
But it is their job to do so.
If this doesn't happen, get a 2nd opinion.
Hmm. Well, if you have trouble saying out loud, you can always write a letter. I've only told one person, but that's how I told him. He took it well and even wrote me a letter back, telling me somethings about himself that he had been keeping in and wanting to tell someone.
Maybe being straight up fromt about it with someone and see what the reactions are. Afterward you could decide if there is a better way to approach the issue.
how do i go about explaining to a doc that i wish to make a FTM transition without sounding like an idiot?
Not to worry. Doctors tend to think all non-doctor people are idiots. So, just tell the Doctor, you just be like everyone else.
Quote from: tekla on March 22, 2009, 05:58:45 AM
how do i go about explaining to a doc that i wish to make a FTM transition without sounding like an idiot?
Not to worry. Doctors tend to think all non-doctor people are idiots. So, just tell the Doctor, you just be like everyone else.
LOL!
That is so, so true! ;D
(apologies to any doctors on here, we know you can't help it!)
I've told 14 of my friends so far. For each one I made a coffee or lunch date. I waited until toward the end so they could bail out if they wanted to (none did) but still have plenty of time to talk if they wanted. I opened it up by explaining that I wanted to share with them something about myself that I'd been keeping secret most of my life - I am transgendered. I would then go on to explain what that is, at least for me, and how I realize I finally need to be more open about it. I kept it positive and would let them change the subject when they wanted to. I explained to each that they are important to me and so it was important for me to tell them in person rather than have them find out indirectly. I think each of them appreciated that.
It helps if for a few days or weeks before you come out you can find a quiet place to visualize the meeting and the positive outcome. Each time negative thoughts come in, banish them and visualize the positive. Once you are comfortable with that, you can talk to your friends.
As for the doctor, I just told him I am transgendered, that after all these years I want to do something about it, and I'd like to start female hormones. No problem (at least with him).
I'm glad things went well for you!
that sounds like a sensible way of telling my friends :)
I'm off to see a social worker at a local gay and trans advice centre i've found today, see if they can give me a nudge in the right direction with which docs are best to use.
Just luv that song savin, "if I were a boy" even though I am a girl, lol.
Stardust
i love it, some of the words in the song are just so true to me lol :)