My name is Laurel. I have no idea what's going on with me, honestly. I am currently a teenager, so at least I have a long time to think about it. I always thought of myself as female but have flirted with the idea of being FTM... As a kid I always told everyone I wished I was a boy. I refused to wear girl clothing until I was socially pressured to, at age 11. And now, whenever I daydream (of a sexual nature and simple normal "wouldn't it be nice if...") I'm a gay guy. I don't know if I'm a gay FTM, and honestly I joined here to help me figure everything out. Thanks!
I understand the daydreaming thing. Ever since I was a little kid whenever I'd fantasize it'd involve a man. It wasn't me but someone I'd see on tv or something. It took a lot of analyzing to realize that those were substitutes for a male image of myself. Then I finally started realizing that I identified more as a man.
Well that's my personal experience. The only person who can really know what's going on with you is you and finding out can be a long process.
Welcome to Susans! ;)
Hi, Granulated. I'm glad you found Susan's. We're pretty supportive here.
All my life, I've spent a lot of time living up in my head. I was always a boy having relationships with men. Before puberty, these fantasies were physical but not sexual. During and after puberty, they became blatantly sexual. I never fantasized about women or saw myself as a girl in these daydreams. Although I did experiment a bit, all of my long-term relationships have been with men. I've always felt like I should be part of the gay community, but I felt like an outsider.
I've always felt gay. Women don't really do anything for me. I like men, I've always preferred men, and I'm attracted to male anatomy. I like so-called gay sex.
In short, I'm gay.
You might be, too; but as Osiris says, it might take you quite some time to figure everything out.
So pull up a chair and stay awhile. You came to the right place.
Hi Granulated, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 1900 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion. Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member/brother. :icon_hug:
Janet
Welcome to Susans, Laurel.
Gennee
:)
Hello and welcome to susans. As a fellow FTM i also fantasize about being with men and a man myself. I am highly attracted to other FTMs and guys. I will go for a femme girl once and a while but not too often. But anyways welcome to susans.
Quote from: Granulated on March 20, 2009, 09:29:46 PM
And now, whenever I daydream (of a sexual nature and simple normal "wouldn't it be nice if...") I'm a gay guy. I don't know if I'm a gay FTM, and honestly I joined here to help me figure everything out. Thanks!
You are whatever you think you are. If you constantly dream about being a guy, chances are that you are one.
Many of us have had cross-gender dreams since we were kids.
Welcome Laurel,
Wouldn't worry about it too much, just be and do what you like. There is no right or wrong in these matters. Personally I fantasise about everything...!
Hi Laural and welcome
As everyone has said you are at an age were you can expolre your feelings without having to "jump ship". This is a nice site for you to seek support. As I said in previous introductions as a kid I always wanted a brother. Now I have a whole family of them and they give good support to their sisters.
Love
Cindy James
Welcome, Confusion may be a good thing. It helps us evolve. What you're feeling is probably normal. Here you will find some wonderfull and helpfull people. Be seeing you around.
You are lucky to have been able to refuse. I always cried, like very, every time they cut my hair. I was just told to pull myself togheter, that was no way for a boy to behave. But still I couldnt help it, the tears always fell. And I felt so bad and weak afterwards. It was not before I was about 16, I managed to say NO, and that I promised to still cut it, but I did it myself. That helped me a lot. The clotes have never been something I could refuse. My grandmother was the only feminine person in my family. So I stole clothes from my mother and dressed up for her, she never treated me differently. Probably the only good childhood memories I have.
Hope you figure it out, I never have :hugs: