So, lately, the desire to be a girl just disappeared for the time being. I'm still fighting depression and tiredness and despair, and all. But I'm trying to figure out why it left me after torturing me for so long.
Maybe it went dormant for now? I've been overloaded lately trying to figure things out, and have been apathetic too, so maybe it's that....just looking for someone who's been here before?
I don't know what to do....given I've seen how this'll come to bite me later when I'm not looking. But since it hasn't been bothering me lately, and I've just been in general depression (that's pretty common and moderately bad), maybe I should try with being male? hmm....I don't know.
For me it was always there, always lurking. But the desire would rise and fall and as the years went on and my body kept being effected by testosterone, the desire would fall less and less until I couldn't take it anymore. It took me from the age of knowing at 15 to the last hanging thread of 27 (12 years!) to realize my issues would never go away but only get worse so something had to be done or I would be the one calling it quits.
Lots of factors can make it come and go. Stress, how busy you are, hormones, age, etc...
Odds are it will disappear for less time and bother you more and more though.
Did you did something to ease your gender issues?
That happens to me too, If I'm really busy or worried/stressed bout something else for a while the desire to be a woman subsides. when the relief/sense of accomplishment at having done well with work or the thing i was worried about being over begins to fade it comes back in a big way to the point where it's almost unbearable. Don't know if it'll be like that for you but maybe it will.
Claire xoxo
I am in a similar sort of situation... when I was 15/16 I was totally sure I would transition FTM, but now...
I am only 18 still, so I either grew out off it or... not.
It has resurfaced a little, or I wouldn't have ended up on Susan's again...
Maybe it's just too soon to know for sure what it means.
See how you feel with time?
It comes in cycles when your young.
Once you get older it gets really annoying.
I agree
I cycled for a while with feelings and still do today. It really just depends on your emotional health, physical health, and how busy your life is. It can't plague you when you're overloaded to the point your brain can't process the emotions because it's already too full!
It will likely come back, but the question is when and how long?
Quote from: Tanya1 on March 22, 2009, 09:13:40 PM
It comes in cycles when your young.
Once you get older it gets really annoying.
Another possibility's that it never existed or was confused for Gid alas "disappeared".
Well Pia, I wish I could say that, or have thought that is possible....but today, it came back to bite me again hard :-\. Getting called boy again by a family member who knows about me and all, it just really hurt me, I didn't expect it would happen, and it was like "dang it I'm not a boy!!!!!" in my mind
That pain its nagging and it can go dormant. The why I asked if you did something its because that helps to relieve that pain.
But the problem its that if you dont identify how much you need and want to do transition wise. Its gonna hurt even more in the future.
Even small things like playing an online game in your true gender can help to alleviate it for a while. Crossdressing too but if you need to do something in your transition. you better do it.
What do you mean by "gone away"?
One isn't conscious of one's gender 100% of the time whatever that may be. When I dropped the shampoo bottle on my toe in the shower this morning the pain was the only thing on my mind!
I wish I could help you with this. I know for me it kind of goes away for a while sometimes, like when im away from my family and can just be myself , but when im around people that expects me to be a boy it really really bothers me. IDK the more you can be the actual you the less gender stress you may have. Or at least that's how it is for me. But im totally fem most of the time.
P.S. if anyone knows how to add a pic to the profiles please let me know
Probably it is just the depression. Depression can be the cause of many problems including physical illness. The desire will probably return when you least expect it.
A note for Kristen: The local clairvoyant society has canceled their monthly meeting due to unforeseen circumstances.
QuoteProbably it is just the depression. Depression can be the cause of many problems including physical illness. The desire will probably return when you least expect it.
Likely.....speaking of physical illness I just got sick yesterday :(.
Wouldn't worry about it too much, maybe you are just learning to accept yourself and are not so conscious of your gender.
I'm less aware of my gender as I grow older, one just is. To be honest it's only when I fancy someone bad that I become very conscious of being a woman.
It seems to come and go in cycles for some, with others gender problems are constantly there. One thing is almost certain, if it's in your genes it will come back some time, so if you dress or present as a woman, don't chuck your clothes out, because some time you will need them again.
I've done that, been there.
Worrying, stressing and feeling negative, are active processes of your mind, and that requires energy. When your mind is distracted by something or tired in certain ways, it can ignore some processes in some areas.
Someone who meditates properly has no cares at that moment because what they're doing when meditating is letting all of the mind's focus come at one point, and some people are able to maintain that state of mind almost constantly.. so it's technically possible to be ok with anything, even gid, when you have the right state of mind.. unfortunately, most of us aren't monks, and in your case, it seems like your mind is merely distracted by your other concerns and depression.. or tired of worrying about it for now.. so, I guess you just have to experience more and try to understand your mind better to determine what's what. Don't rush anything.. live and learn.
For most that I know with GID, they will tell you it ebbs and flows. There are times when the dysphoria is incredible and debilitating and other times you can feel it is totally gone. In my experience, it always comes back and stronger if I am not using my GID coping techniques during the period it "disappears".