Not doubts as to your gender id, but doubts as to whether you'll regret it or not.
I mean, there's no going back.
Sure. I think we all do. Now matter how long you've wanted/needed it, there's always those second thoughts, at least for me, because I knew there'd be no going back.
Definitely doubts, but the answer is always the same, it's a huge thing.
ALways good to question things.
Myles
Absolutely.
About 5 seconds worth.
Seriously, I asked myself if I could continue living as a woman for the rest of my life? The answer was a resounding NO, I'd rather be dead. So T and top surgery seemed far less drastic than death.
My mother asked me, what if you're making a mistake? I said I'd already lived half my life as the wrong gender; if being male wasn't right either, then really, what was the difference?
I'm 1 year into my transition; 8 months on T, with hysto and top surgery, and I have zero regrets. Well, I take that back. Looking through photos recently with my kids, if there were a way to have been 100% myself as the female I was born, that would have been nice; but since I wasn't born female despite my body, the incongruency grated for far too long.
Jay
In for a penny in for a pound.
Not once, and I won't when it comes time for SRS.
Janet
Quote from: Nero on March 23, 2009, 03:09:58 PM
Not doubts as to your gender id, but doubts as to whether you'll regret it or not.
I mean, there's no going back.
Even if you did regret it a little, wouldn't being happy 99% of the time be better than being unhappy 99% of the time?
Will I have regrets, heck no. I have wanted those bits gone for as long as I can remember. That feeling has only gotten worse as I got older.
Not one moment. No more than taking a breath of air when you are suffocating.
No, I never had any doubts whatsoever, Nero!
tink :icon_chick:
Nero, relax, you are doing the right thing and you know it.
I never had any doubts at all. I was even on a plane for 23 hours and a day and half in my hotel room to think about it. All I ever thought about was the after surgery and getting home and being who I was suppose to be. NO, no doubts what so ever. It has been 5 years and I still don't have any regrets. NONE.
Sheila
Havent got to the surgery part yet but prior to the HRT I would have taken a sugeon that did next day service. I'm not sure if you would call it doubt, I rather think of it as being cautious and planning my transition, although sometimes the transition overules your planning. I think since HRT and medication for depression/anxiety/ansgt I have learned to pace myself better. The headlong rush without thinking, ie DIY HRT, has been replaced by a mostly smooth transition with forethought. Just my 2 cents worth. Hugs
Wendy
No doubts at all. More like a little girl say 5 years old waiting for chirstmas to come. That's not to say I've not pondered on why I was this way. But after waiting such a very long time, Nope Not a doubt. Gee I practicely danced into the prep area of the hospital. Christmas did come for that 5 year old girl, Just a few years later.
Beni
No doubts at all. I've known what I am since I could reason.
QuoteThere's no going back
Why would I want to "go back"?
I was laying on the operating table for my orchidectomy after receiving the anesthesia and a flash of inspiration came to my mind. It said, "Right now, right this moment, you can get up and stop this, you could stop this right now and only right now."
I didn't for better or for worse. But that was my last thought before the surgeon went to work.
I tend to have doubts about any major decision. Then I go for it and don't look back ... well, I try not too. Same for starting hrt, and everything else I've done towards my transition, for that matter.
Nero, I promised myself I would take care of any lingering doubts, fears, concerns before I ever put a hormone in my body. I was not going back. FFS was the same way. I had no regrets at all. That was major, major surgery and the recovery was tough, but it was worth it :) No regrets here!
Doubts yes, choice no.
I had tons of questions. Don't know if you read my thread "Ruminations before GRS" but no doubts about getting it done. Same thing with the mones.
I think, that a little doubt is healthy. I mean, it does imply that you understand just how big this is, and how much this'll change, and how "final" the change is. It's one of these things that you need to seriously think about and be "sure" you want to do before you do them, a part of being sure is to consider All the possible outcomes, and thus, you have doubt.
I would say I'm 99.99% sure This is the only thing I have desired for as long as I can remember, you know what I'm not 99.99% I'm over 9000% sure.
I can't call what I had "doubts". It was more like a dawning realization of the reality of the moment. I do recall thinking that I could stop when I was being wheeled into the operating room but instead I smiled. I realized that I had arrived in that room after a gauntlet of trials and problems, any one of which could have derailed my transition. I also thought about all my friends who listened to me talk about my transition. Wigging out then would have been such a betrayal of myself and them. I am happy that I went through with it and have no regrets. As a female, I am very happy and can function in society much better than before. What I did not really factor in enough was that I would be totally alone afterwards, emotionally. Would I have stopped if I knew that my family would basically treat me as a stranger and that now no one in the entire world loves me? NO, I would still do it.
Never. (Perhaps night before surgery I will be quit scary and after it that it sure in the great pain).
I'm not having doubts (well, maybe a few, but not REAL ones)... just mildly sad about losing the things I convinced myself were good about myself after much trial and tribulation as attempting and failing to live as a female. I attempted to find positive things about myself so that I could be more comfortable in my own skin (like my singing voice) and I will be sad when I lose the (albeit few) things I appreciate that will change.
However, I know I will be fundamentally the same person and my insides will match better my outsides and THAT is awesome.
Plus, every time I think about growing to be any older as a female instead of a male, I can't do it. I'd rather give my life up than do that.
Um, I wouldn't say I've had doubts about my SRS or my transition -- I questioned myself, of course, to be sure that it was the right thing for me. As for the timing of my SRS, I had some doubts because of what was going on in my life at the time, financially and home wise. Since then, I never looked back and of course went through the surgery. Sadly, coming home to a wreck and a lot of stress made recovery a little bit harder. But, I'm still glad I had my surgery.
Yes. Right before my therapist was going to refer me to an endocrinologist to get T, I told her I didn't want to. I figured I was comfortable enough, I wasn't depressed like I heard a lot of trans people were and thought I was fine the way I was. This was in July 08. Six months later my thoughts started coming back and I went back to her, this time 100% sure I wanted to go on hormones. You can put it off but I think your thoughts will keep coming back until you just do it.
Anyone that knows me here on Susan's knows I have a nasty habit of doubting things to the infinite degree. It doesn't matter what it is, anything big I doubt, but I push through and most things in life I did not regret once I did. I figured now, that after getting self-destructive last week, and transition coming back to mind when I stopped myself, I knew it MUST stop. I was not even thinking about it when trying to hurt myself, but it came after the fact. I reasoned now, that I would rather just transition, and be calmer and less depressed on HRT, than end up dead in a grave someday because I killed myself :-\.
It's a jump into the unknown, and I do not know what will happen, but I can't let myself fall back into hell like I was before. I want to live again, and will do what it takes to make that happen.
Have you ever had doubts right before having surgery or HRT?
Well to put it another way I kinda had ''doubts'' just after my surgery, but looking back now I put it down to ''post op depression'' which you don't hear much about here.
Well into my transition, my Mother was always very anxious that I have srs just to complete and finalize my transition which I had in 1985.
I remember a few days before my surgery I was very nervous, then the morning of the surgery going under the anesthesia, I just wanted to get it over with.
I was very disappointed when I did see my new womanhood, that was when I had my doubt omg it was gross.
But thankful it didn't last, I had a second minor surgery labia plastic under a local anesthesia which put the finishing touches to my girlie parts.
That was the only doubts I had, when I was fully healed I just love being a woman, I found the surgery hard, no gain without pain, I'd never go back.
p