For the last few weeks I have been so more open then ever and out right expressive in my gender that I should have been born as, being a male gender does not feel right nor do I like the male gender that I have been born into.
For the last couple weeks I have been feeling more and more like the gender of what I should have been. And I have felt so awsome inside expressing who I really am on the inside..I have started to been dressing my female gender everyday and going out in public, that way reguardless of my five o' clock shadow, my face is not so much female, yet inside I have begun to render that fear that has driven me into darkness for so long and now I feel so free.
I live in a very small southern town and around where I live it is mostly younger men and women and married couples, who have seen me dressed up in my female attire and have never once made me feel like I was a freak or anything else, they have been really nice and supportive in many ways,
But to get where Iam today is because I am tired of my male biological gender holding me hostage when I am not that person.I have been so freed by just excepting me for me and what I am.
So I am going to continue in this path to rid myself of this hostile take over and come to be the real me Samantha. I will be starting HRT by summer and I hope all is well and I complete the tranformation and have that ever ending HAPPINESS.
TO HELL WITH BEING HELD HOSTAGE; I demand happiness.
Very inspiring :) I feel a lot of what you described. I wish you the best of luck, hun.
xoxo
Ali
You go, Girl. :eusa_clap: :eusa_dance:
You describe very well what many of us have felt. When I went full time, I posted a obituary for the old male being. He is still here, somewhere, but as a guardian angel now. I am free for his influence, except for the warning voice when danger is near.
Janet
I like the way you phrased it, Being held hostage. It does feel that way at times. Janet, you actually posted him in the obituaries. LOL
I experienced that freedom you spoke of as well- right now I probably feel more whole, complete, fulfilled, and FREE than I ever have, and it is because I finally realized that I didn't have to be someone else just to please others or because they thought I should be some way I just could never be. Through transitioning I have learned how much better it is to be our true selves inside and out, otherwise life is just too flat and depressing. :-\ It's certainly much too short to waste it trying to be someone we are not. anyway, I digress lol :-X I just really love to hear success stories. You go girl! :D