I wanna buy some women's clothes, but every time I try I get nervous and start second guessing myself and I end up leaving empty handed. I even have the perfect place to do it without anyone noticing- it's a grocery store that happens to have a clothing department and automated tellers. Then, in my head, I'm like "what if somebody sees me?" or "What if the automated teller screws up and I need to talk to a clerk?" and online isn't the best way because my roommate is my brother.
I dunno. I'd really like to go out and by some gender appropriate clothes. It's the exam crunch and they'd really help keep my spirits up.
Next step, driver's license! Seriously, 21 and I only have a permit. I'm awesome.
Hi,
What I used to do when I began my transition was to be very confident, and in a very relaxed fashion, pick out clothes that I was pretty sure would fit me. At the cashier's counter, I asked if the checkout girl liked what I picked, that it was for my girlfriend. If you act in a confident, self-assured manner, no one will pay much attention. And if they do wonder, they certainly won't say anything. Hope this helps.
Best,
Julia
http://www.transssexualconsultingandreferrals.com (http://www.transssexualconsultingandreferrals.com)
I too have that problem, but I am alittle older than 21. Not that age really makes a different. I also wonder where to keep my clothes because I am not ready to come out yet. Good luck and stay strong. ;D
I so far have said they are a gag gift for someone at work. UM my wife needed a new bra for a Dress she got for dinner. And also my wife was used again, she forgot her gym clothes and needed a pair of Panties and shorts to work out in.
I try to go to different stores. I actually built up a repoir with employee at a local store. we talked for about an hour just gossiping about stuff. she told me about a young man who had come in to buy clothes, his Mistress made him. But I feel comfortable enough with her now I may go back and tell her they are really for me.
Good luck and shop with confidence.
TQ
I know the feeling. I did not buy my own women's clothes until I was in my 50's. For years I had no hesitation in buying women's clothes for my wife but I was always hesitant to buy anything for myself. When I finally did buy things for myself, including lingerie and makeup as well as skirts and dresses, I realized that it was no big deal. Some clerks may have looked at me funny, but no one has ever said anything and they have all been willing to take my money.
It is easier if you can shop where you are less likely to be recognized by those whom you want to keep in the dark about your secret. I am a college professor and I do not particularly want my students to know that I am a crossdresser. In local stores many of my students work as clerks, so I do not shop for feminine things there.
My story is a bit similar. I was 39 before I bought any woman's clothing for myself, other than pantyhose. I'd have a shopping list with me, so I would look like I was buying for my wife. Most of my early cross-dressing was just wearing her stuff.
I wanted some flats, but was nervous about trying them on at the shoe store. Then I just suddenly thought that what was the store staff going to do, kick me out? So, I sat down, tried some on, and bought the ones that fit.
I'm still not all that confident, but it's getting a bit easier.
Hehe! My wife wanted men's sandals once, this was back in Indonesia where girls are meant to be well girly. It was amusing to say the least to see how the sales girl reacted - a combination of fear, horror and not knowing how to be anything but polite and smiling in classic Indonesian style.
Quote from: julia2640 on March 26, 2009, 10:33:47 AM
Hi,
What I used to do when I began my transition was to be very confident, and in a very relaxed fashion, pick out clothes that I was pretty sure would fit me. At the cashier's counter, I asked if the checkout girl liked what I picked, that it was for my girlfriend. If you act in a confident, self-assured manner, no one will pay much attention. And if they do wonder, they certainly won't say anything. Hope this helps.
Best,
Julia
http://www.transssexualconsultingandreferrals.com (http://www.transssexualconsultingandreferrals.com)
Thats excellent advice Julia.
Note that your link is broken.
Also I love shopping online.
Get a PO Box if you fear stuff being shipped to your home address.
It has been years since I've felt uncomfortable buying female attire. I don't let it stress me, just do it. If a cashier comments on my purchase I tell them. Once at payless I spotted some shoes I liked. Got two pair that day. The cashier asked if they were a gift for a friend. "No, they are for me." Some places are helpfull once they know who your shopping for.
Quote from: Louise on March 27, 2009, 04:47:31 PM
Some clerks may have looked at me funny, but no one has ever said anything and they have all been willing to take my money.
Indeed. Economy sinks everywhere in the world, and salespersons do their best to sell. I am especially welcomed in hair salon, as I spend more money than most women here.
Also, you can purchase through online internet stores, if you feel unsafe in local stores. Of course, after finding a proper range of cloth size for you.
Barbie~~
Second hand stores tend to be pretty open, or just care a lot less.
One word......Goodwill. The local one close to is very friendly and some of the workers know me. Not sure if that is good or not. I might be the "T*****" or the CD. :o ???
I prefer to think that they see me as the gorgeous tall woman that comes in. :)
Janet
I buy most of my clothes online... you can get great clothes for super cheap. I've actually bought makeup in person, although it took me a few tries to get the nerve up and even then I used the self-checkout to avoid questions.
One time though the self-checkout was broken at wal-mart where I went to find black eyeliner (it was sold out everywhere else), so I had to go to the register. I managed to avoid any notice because I just talked to the guy about why the self-checkout was broken in the first place and handed him the eyeliner thing upside down -- he just passed it over the scanner without even looking at it since we were in conversation.
I think most register people just want to get through the day and get off their feet, and won't notice or care. Another thing is just to buy some guy's clothing at the same time and then they'll just assume that the guy's clothing is for you and the girl's is for someone else (assuming you're out in guy-mode). For me the hard part isn't checkout, it's walking around in the makeup/girl's clothing aisles :P.
Finding a safe place to store your clothes is a problem, yes. Some people use their car (or a storage compartment behind the back seat. I myself used to lock all my clothes in a file cabinet in my office. That ended up working out quite well until I told my wife about me.
Julia
http://www.transsexualconsultingandreferrals.com (http://www.transsexualconsultingandreferrals.com)
I think the store clerks of the world would be very flattered at how much the people here care about their opinions. Usually they're pretty much ignored. Personally, it doesn't really matter much to me what someone sliding tags across a UPC reader thinks about what I'm buying. I don't think most store checkers care that much about who's buying what. They are just glad you're buying something so they stay employed. And in these economically depressed times, most stores selling womenswear should welcome a bit of extra business from male customers.
Here are some tips that will help, though: Spend some time at home looking at ads or the web before going to the store to get a good idea of what you want to buy. Know your size (or at least decide the size you want to try). It's much easier to get through that first shopping trip if you walk in with a clear vision of what you want. Other than that, know you're not alone. Thousands of guys go through this every day. Geez! Your just clothes shopping, for crying out loud. Life has much greater challenges, I can assure you.
Shopping never bothered me as I take my wife and mother out shopping often and am usually the one who finds what they are looking for and usually at the clearance rack. the sales people are so used to seeing me there that when I return it's Hi, how are your doing and do you need any help. I guess a lot of this is because I feel at home in that department and really don't care what people think Outside of my Family and my family knows I am a very Unique person. Love to All.
I got my first pair of girl jeans from a secondhand store the other day, and it was terrifying, and also empowering. Another small victory is that last night I got a girl's deodorant stick with my groceries.
Small steps, but I think I'm working up a little bit of courage. Which is awesome because I was pretty much at the bottom end of courage these past few years.
You bet it can be terrifying at first. But think of it this way: Nothing makes a person stick out worse than giving a bunch of excuses for buying something. Usually they just ring you up without any further thought. Watch women at the checkout. They never say anything about what their purchase if for. Many of us, in an effort to look legit, end up doing just the opposite. Best advice I can give is to just go get what you want, make pleasant talk with the cashier, and get on about your business.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Just like the theory I had when I skipped class in high school. Walk straight by the office like it's what I'm supposed to be doing.
Having had sisters and daughters (as well as their mother) to do shopping for and with, I didn't really ever have much of a problem, since, as you have read, most salespeople want the merchandise out the door after your money is in their hand. I have had a couple of smart aleck cashiers remark that I would "look good" in a certain garment, to which I just say "Thank you, I hope so!" after which both of us easily laugh about it, I pay the money and go out the door. (This actually happened one time when I was buying something for my oldest daughter, and she told the cashier "like hell he will, this one is mine!! Neither the cashier or I were able to stop blushing or laughing for quite a while. My daughter was 10 at the time.) I am quite sure that if I ever came through in female mode, they would never identify me as the "guy" who bought something.
For sizing, do look at some of the web sites that have size charts on them, get yourself a good tailor's soft rule, (aka measuring tape) and fit your sizes to theirs to come up with an approximate size. There are many of these web sites, some listed on the resource pages here on Susan's.
My real good suggestion for you though, is find a "->-bleeped-<- Shop" near where you live, and while they may be ARE more expensive than J.C. Penney's, you can shop there and get a lot of help that you can use on your own in the days to come. Have fun!
Hi
It's a fear that many MtFs have and CDs. It's really no problem. As others have said clerks want a sale. They know mnay of the guys are CDs, particularly in bra shops. Get to know your size. Get a tape measure. place it around your chest that gives you inches or centimeters depending where you are. If you are about 36" you are asize 12. How big do you want the cups? Depends on your body size. I'm 5' 9" and 57kilos. a C cup looks nice.
Skirts, you cannot try them on 'cos you are too nervous. Take the tape measure and take yoyr waist size. Divide in two. Put the tape measure on your arm. Mesure from your finger tips along the arm. Draw a biro mark. In the shop hold uo a skirt. along your arm, get the size that fits. No one cares. If anyone asks. and they won't say it's for you. People really don't care.
The last top I bought in guy clothes ( I'm usually FT shopping but I was caught out and had to be in drag). The top was gorgeous, had to have it. The sales girl sais who is the lucky girl getting this. I said me. She went a bit white and then said. I've just recieved a jewellery order and I'm sure we can accessory size this. We did. I then said there was a skirt in another shop I liked but couldn't find a sales assistant to help. We were there in seconds and I tried the skirt on. Dressed as a guy. They had no problems just wanted to help. I also bought shoes and that again was no problems. I've just bought this top and skirt, what will go with it? I'm a size seven. Here are some and here are some nice others. Spent a fortune.
The fear of fear is the biggest fear.
Just try it, maybe as someone said in another city.
Just be confident. It is your money and their sale. They really don't care who it's for.
Are you laughing at me? Get the manager. I won't to know why I can't buy goods in this store. Sales person sacked, and they know it! BUT be pleasant and friendly, say you are shy. They will now you are no threat. You are not their dating material, but you are no threat to stealing their boyfriend. And that is all they care about.
Enjoy.
I love clothes, jewellery, shoe, bag, make up, perfume shopping. I'm totally addicted. OK I go FT but I didn't always. NEVER had a bad experience.
Love and get liberated
Cindy James
Hi Everybody, I'm Joana from Sydney Australia, I'm a CD and loving it more and more but still in the closet, I'm afraid my wife would not understand as she already feels that i am crazy. Would love to find out where in Sydney I could have friends like me to hang out with as it's a lonely feeling to be the way I am at the moment. cheers joana :-*
Gotta say, it seems tense @ first, but really think about it!
It's not against the law and the only thing you may get is a comment from the check out person (I ALWAYS go to a Female) and believe me, from experience, IF they make any comment, it won't disturibe or threaten you. To be honest, it can be quite a RUSH!!! I have had Female checkout persons ask if the clothes were for me.
You know, I wasn't arrested or anything. The fact of the matter was she was very nice.
CarolAnn
:icon_flower:
If you go during off-peak hours I've found that the sales assistants can be very understanding and helpful. They often have as much fun as you will.
Try not to put so much pressure on yourself. Even today, I usually browse until I find something I like but even then I usually won't buy it right away. I will visualize how I will look in it and may not actually buy it for weeks. This also allows an opportunity to wait for the right time to buy it. For me, I also always buy from female clerks and I try to buy from clerks that I am attracted to and are dressed in feminine attire, preferably a skirt or dress, heels, and pantyhose. I like the implication that the clothes are for me and really like it if there is a conversation regarding the clothes, etc. I don't make excuses and try to project an air of confidence. The ritual of putting an outfit together is one of the fun parts of dressing en femme for me so I hope that you will come to enjoy it as well! Good luck!
I tend to such places as you are talking about and pick up clothes along with other items or even male clothes to solidify the look of buying them for your wife. Also as long as you are young you can use the fraternity prank/rush line when buying girly clothes.
Another option could be Freecycle. I'm on the local Freecycle mailing list and recently there was a post from someone giving away clothes. The size happen to be ideal for my wife and daughter, but some seem to fit me. I responded to the post saying I'd like them for my wife and daughter. If any don't fit me but might fit them, it's a win-win.
Remember most people don't notice or care what you are doing. They assume you are buying for a girlfriend..easiest answer. The other is that commissioned sales associates will sell you the rack of clothes and not care one bit what you are doing.
When I purchased thongs at a department store in the U.S. about 5 years ago, the female cashier at her 20's asked me "Is this for you?". At that time, I was apparently in male mode with short hair. Simply, I did not reply to her inquire, as it is not her business.
Anyway, I still wear those thongs. They are so much endurable.
Barbie~~
I like Barbie's approach. If you feel you must give a response just say, "Oh yaknow..." and leave it at that. It's the most vague reply in the world that counts as a response without telling them anything.
Alternatively just look busy with your cell phone it's the perfect excuse not to talk to people these days.
A whole 'lotta people become sales persons because a) they are people persons by nature, and b) really like and feel a connection to what they are selling. They want to talk to you, in fact, many stores have a policy that you have to be greeted within a few seconds or something. Also, they know, the more they talk to you, the more they can sell you. If you can find it within yourself to tell them the truth, they just might be able to help you. So I've found to be the case.
Quote from: tekla on May 22, 2009, 01:39:28 PM
They want to talk to you, in fact, many stores have a policy that you have to be greeted within a few seconds or something. Also, they know, the more they talk to you, the more they can sell you.
Many stores also do this for security reason, too. They have found that if someone is very aware of their presence they are less likely to steal. It does not mean they are looking at you funny.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857) Kristi
Being in retail, I can tell you that you meet and greet customers for two reasons. First to initiate a sale. Second, to spot potential thieves.
I have been asked many times. How many people would ask to help this man? (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.solarnavigator.net%2Finventors%2Finventor_images%2Fhoward_hughes_time_magazine_1976.jpg&hash=970404d793d6b6a7f764bbc24c14839f69e54e21)
That is Howard Hughes, one of the richest men in the world.
Looks do not matter to a salesperson. Unless you look shady.
Janet
That's what the richest man in the world looks like in spy movies. I think that's awesome.
I've actually gone out and bought a few things at various places in town, but it came to bra shopping and I just lost the ability to not overstress it.
Quote from: Jester on March 26, 2009, 08:05:50 AMI wanna buy some women's clothes, but every time I try I get nervous and start second guessing myself and I end up leaving empty handed. I even have the perfect place to do it without anyone noticing- it's a grocery store that happens to have a clothing department and automated tellers. Then, in my head, I'm like "what if somebody sees me?" or "What if the automated teller screws up and I need to talk to a clerk?" and online isn't the best way because my roommate is my brother.I dunno. I'd really like to go out and by some gender appropriate clothes. It's the exam crunch and they'd really help keep my spirits up.
Honey try using mail order,however I have found that most shops dont worry much they wont your money I,ve been in and tryed on cloths while dressed in male clothing
I did want to add that you'll be surprised how far you can get in life by just being cheerful, smiling, and using normal direct eye contact. It's far from a panacea but it will help almost any situation.
In the beginning I was a little apprehensive but not now. I browse the women's sections with no funny looks or comments from others. I bought things for my mom when I was boy so shopping in the women's section doesn't faze me.
Gennee
:)
The first thing I did was to write down what size I wanted, said it was for my niece, and asked the clerk to help pick out a outfit. I might add she had great taste and was so happy to help.
After that, now I just go grab some stuff and act like I don't want to do this, and nobody says anything
Quote from: chrysalis on June 01, 2009, 02:34:47 AM
I did want to add that you'll be surprised how far you can get in life by just being cheerful, smiling, and using normal direct eye contact. It's far from a panacea but it will help almost any situation.
I do this, Chrysalis and I get smiles back.
Gennee :)
I think that at some point you just have to get out there and do it.
Last night I stopped at the local grocery and picked up some lipstick and a few other items. I was really tired and just didn't give a damn about what anyone else might think. At the checkout the lipstick happened to roll under the other stuff, and the girl rang me up and then found the lipstick and held it up and said "this too"? Could have been embarrassing, and it was nice for her to point out that I was buying lipstick to the rest of the people in the store, but I just said yes and she gave me a weird look for a second - and rang it up :)
There was a guy behind me in line and I have no idea what was going thru his head, and I didn't care.
I had a cover story prepared about picking it up for the wife but decided that it really didn't matter anyway, and me saying something about it would have made me look guilty.
This weekend i'm going to go check out the 2nd hand stores for whatever I might find and fancy :D
Post Merge: June 13, 2009, 06:53:39 PM
Made a run last night to the grocery to pick up an eyeliner pencil. Got checked out by an old asian lady. Nothing was said.
Made my runs today. Didn't find anything at walmart, so the next stop was the salvation army family store. They had a ton of nice stuff in there, it really surprised me that so much of that stuff was in quite good condition. I picked up a basically brand new boy golf shirt and some "do me" red pumps. There was an older lady behind the counter, and when I put the shirt and the pumps on the counter she kind of laughed and said "theres a different combination" followed by "nice shoes". No weird looks whatsoever. Happened by the same walmart again and stopped in and grabbed some red nail polish and polish remover. Went thru a checkout manned by a guy and I might as well have been buying motor oil and charcoal.
I think we work ourselves up over this when no one really gives a whit about it.
I usually shop at night at walmart or first thing in the morning. I try to get a female checker. I try to time it so I'm not standing in a line. Must be the military background in me, because I kinda treat it like a potential firefight. I dont expect confrontations, and havent had any, but I guess some preplanning goes a long way. I think I'll just start ordering online for some stuff.
This is my first time posting on a website like this, but as someone who just started going out to shop for clothing i do have a little advice that helped me out. Some nights i find myself working late hours, so Ive almost always gone out at or after midnight, the 24 hours stores don't always have the best selection but the staff tend to leave you alone. I try and make a note when i go into a store at how late the u-scan machines are up, Using those have taken out most of the anxiety at check out.
I have to laugh at your comment about the self checkouts. If you ever go thru one in Oregon and see a tall black hair woman at the monitor station, just stop by and say "Hi Janet, I am so and so From Susan". I work the one at my store. ;D
Janet
Quote from: CrimsonRose on June 19, 2009, 11:34:05 PM
This is my first time posting on a website like this, but as someone who just started going out to shop for clothing i do have a little advice that helped me out. Some nights i find myself working late hours, so Ive almost always gone out at or after midnight, the 24 hours stores don't always have the best selection but the staff tend to leave you alone. I try and make a note when i go into a store at how late the u-scan machines are up, Using those have taken out most of the anxiety at check out.
When I was in man's mode with short hair, I once purchased 3 unpacked white thongs at a department store and unintentionally just strolled along the lane while grasping them in my hand. Finally I realized that even women do not show thongs shamlessly like me. I hurried to the cashier.
The cashier was a pretty and young woman. She asked me like "Is this for you?" I did not reply.
Once at wall mart, I purchased a pair of pump. An old aged cashier there called me as "Mr." and just checked out it for me.
Barbie~~
Still after 3 years, it's not so easy to go to local store.
I prefer to buy stuff somewhere else than local stores... or online :P :P
Anyway I was on business trip and noticed that there were some sale.
I wanted to buy some bras so I just went in one of the shops in my male mode.
The shop was empty and I just told the lady that I need some bra for me.
She did look little bit shocked first, but as I was confident enough she was helping me as if I was a woman.
She even wanted to see that I'm not buying wrong size 8)
Go to old navy, pick up a couple of pieces you like in different sizes, carry them folded over your arm, and walk into the fitting area.
The sales clerks are only interested in making sure you're not lifting anything.
When I was in the US, I used to stop at Old Navy. Prices are reasonable, and occasional sales for out-of-season clothes. I liked clothes for teens.
Barbie~~
My fear is usually not of the clerk but of the other customers. Im always afraid Ill run into someone I know in the store.
Quote from: Bethany W on July 24, 2009, 09:48:27 PM
My fear is usually not of the clerk but of the other customers. Im always afraid Ill run into someone I know in the store.
Yeah, I can relate to that. I've got an "out" in that I can always say I'm shopping for my wife (who's about my weight) or my daughter (who's close to my height).
As an aside, my daughter does like one of my dresses.
Men buying female oriented goods is not unusual or something to be self conscious about. Just act natural and have self confidence. As someone with 3 sisters and now have been married for 11 years I have been forced to purchase the entire spectrum of female goods. When my sisters were teens I had to purchase their pads, liners, douches, vagisil and tampons because they simply were to embarrassed to do it for themselves.
As I also work in retail my wife often calls wanting me to pick up something where I work or on the way home. I often have to pick up a blouse or a pantsuit or a skirt that she wanted but decided not to get only to think about it and change her mind. I've bought makeup for her, unmentionables, pads, fingernail polish, polish remover, and all kinds of other things. Then there are birthdays and christmas and she usually always wants jewelry or clothes. Heck to be honest I've bought a myriad of female goods for myself from the place I work at as well. Nobody even pays it any attention. They just think that I'm getting the stuff for my wife. At worst I'd be the subject of juicy gossip, but of course me wearing women's clothing pales in comparison to the stuff they really talk about.
yeah i try not to really put to much thought into it. i just go and shop. sometimes people with walk up to me and be like are you a guy or a girl. (i like to think i can pass ok and that im not to Ugl to the Y, but some people just have the EYE as they say) and ill be like .um... im a woman? its like just be confident and let them know your not a perv and they like whatever. i have even shopped and made friends with such people before. just go with the flow as they say
I think its important to note that, for the most part, people really don't care all that much what you buy. They know they have no right to question what you are doing, as it is well within your rights, and for the most part, they really don't care.
Imagine yourself in their position. Person after person coming through. It would seem to blend together. You would just be another customer buying another item for another purpose.
The sales associates that give people trouble would probably get fired. Or sternly lectured. But overall its really none of their business.
I have gone shopping a number of times. The most embarrassing moment when I was shopping was when I was buying three pairs of underwear and two bras. One pair of underwear had frills. The other two were small, strechy, and pink. One of the bras was laced.
So guess how many strange looks I got. None. The sales associate said nothing at all to me. Just another customer buying another item for another person. ;)
I remember when I got my chance to buy my own stuff. It was when I was around my early 20's. As my mom & aunt bought some of my stuff for me. As they found out of my cding. Like some of you and most of you. I buy some of my clothes off the internet as you can find good deals and cheap prices. Also do go to some second hand stores as they also have some good selections as well. I will go to dept. stores off an on and get some fem clothing I might like. But most of the time it is usually off the internet. The only problem with that if it doesn't fit you have to send it back. To where in the dept. stores and second hand stores you can try on the clothes and make sure they fit. Plus no matter why type of clothing your buying. Whether it being boxers, panties, shirt, jeans or pantyhose. In a dept store or online store no matter what item of clothing it is for male or female. A sale is a sale. That is how alot see it. Even though we are the ones who are nervous and scared of the "female" item we are buying.
I had the ultimate embarrassment for me the other week. I was in boi mode and picking up a pair of shoes, skirt, nylons along with some cosmetics. I had the price check on the express lane. So over comes this manager and she has to run back to the the woman's department. As I'm standing in line, a woman asks in a joking manner, if all the stuff was for me. Rather than get nervous or angry for the prying, I stated, "yes it is actually you should see how hot I am in a skirt." I suppose because I wasn't nervous or upset she thought I was joking around. There were three other women behind her and they all broke out laughing....if they only knew I was serious. Luckily it was close to X-mas and they all thought I was gift shopping
I tell you the shopping list works great to ease your mind.
Quote from: Mindy Rae on January 07, 2010, 01:38:18 PM
I had the ultimate embarrassment for me the other week. I was in boi mode and picking up a pair of shoes, skirt, nylons along with some cosmetics. I had the price check on the express lane. So over comes this manager and she has to run back to the the woman's department. As I'm standing in line, a woman asks in a joking manner, if all the stuff was for me. Rather than get nervous or angry for the prying, I stated, "yes it is actually you should see how hot I am in a skirt." I suppose because I wasn't nervous or upset she thought I was joking around. There were three other women behind her and they all broke out laughing....if they only knew I was serious. Luckily it was close to X-mas and they all thought I was gift shopping
It is nice that they were not hostile at all to you. Even if they knew it, they would try to understand you.
At my workplace, most of my colleagues know that I am a crsosdresser, but they still joke about my clothes.
Barbie~~
Well I finally got the courage to go shopping in male mode from what I understand its called shopping in drab. I went to Bras N Things here in Sydney as they have a sale on and picked up some lovely panties, body suit and beautiful lace chemise. The sales assistant was helpful and courteous (she was doing her job). I knew my size and she said "have a look around as to what you like and let me know when you need some help". I had told her I was shopping for my wife. I am recently divorced. So I took my time and looked at everything. I was the only male in the store but I felt I was in a store that I belonged in. Two days later I went back to change the body suit for the next size up as it was a bit tight around my tummy. No problem. At the end she asked with a little smile if everything else fitted right. I guess from that she suspected but I didn't care. I did nothing that was immoral, illegal or unethical. In fact I felt on such a high the next day I went shoe shopping walked into the various stores. I found a pair of court shoes that took my fancy but when I got home they did not fit so back I will go to exchange them. I was puzzled why they didn't fit because I purchased the same size as my strappy hells which fit perfectly. I guess its because the open shoes allow a bit more room for fit. I then went dress shopping found a lovely dress in my size and purchased it. No funny look from the sales assistants as I browsed in the various stores. They all said "let us know if you need some help or are you after something specific" Shopping is tiring and frustrating as many styles I liked the store was out of stock in my size and Im not that big. Anyway I had fun shopping and then at home (I am alone) wearing my new outfit. Will exchange my shoes for a strappy pair rather than get a refund. And my chemise is so comfortable to sleep in I highly recommend it.
Quote from: Kimber on January 20, 2010, 01:36:41 AM
Anyway I had fun shopping and then at home (I am alone) wearing my new outfit. Will exchange my shoes for a strappy pair rather than get a refund. And my chemise is so comfortable to sleep in I highly recommend it.
It is nice that people can be happy just by purchasing and wearing some fashion items at affortable prices. It is winter here, and I am virtually in hibernating mode.
Barbie~~
Well I've gone shopping twice in male mode since my last shopping trip. As has been said it is our own fear that stops us. I just walked into various dress shops and shoe shops and did what everyone else was doing ... looking to see if they had anything that I liked... in other words shopping. In one store they did not have my size so I went up to the sales assistant and asked if they had the size I wanted. She said the cut is a little big by that manufacturer and I asked would it fit my frame, she suggested the larger size. Now that took courage for me but I took the view of why lie about it. Then I went lingerie shopping at a major department store here in Sydney (Myer for my Aus sisters) and purchased my first bra with matching panties and it felt great. I took my time and looked at everything they had. I purchased some extra panties and stockings and pantyhose as they were on sale. My mode of shopping was no different than all the other women who were also there shopping. Fact was they paid no attention to me as I paid no attention to them. Then I lined up to pay and felt no embarrassment. I suspect that the cashier who was in her mid 50's knew the item were for me but it did not phase me. Next outing will be easier as will the one after that. The hard one will be shopping when fully dressed but I will get over the fear and venture out.
As Barbie says ... Just do it.
I did the early morning wal mart thing. Bought some groceries, solution for my contacts and strolled through the women's department. Picked up a decent skirt, a pair of jeans, two blouses and one dress. I am afraid the skirt will be too short for me but I thought I'd give it a go. It wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be. Later, though, it will be the department stores and specialty shops. So many to choose from.
UPDATE:
I am thrilled after my Target shopping trip to have some shoes and confirmed my shoe size. Didn't have a bit of trouble, picked up some jeans, a sweater top, two pairs of shoes and love them!! OMG, where to go next??!!??
I too am just starting with CD, I went to Walmart with a rough idea of my size and bought what I wanted, like it was the most natural thing, if somebody would have asked, I would say shopping for gift for friend or wife, I shop in my everyday clothes not CD. I have had some help from Mistress Marquesa, (http://www.goddessmarquesa.com/ (http://www.goddessmarquesa.com/))she has some very good very influential recordings to help with the transformation, you may want to try them.
I have crossdressed at times most of my life. I have officialy come out to my patner and step daughter and decided the other day that it is time to creating a wardrobe for the woman inside that I have had locked up for so long. After countless hours window shopping on the net I went shopping and sucsessfully purchased the right size bra, but not the right size panties.
The whole experience felt so natural. I have been shopping with and for my partners, and everytime felt comfortable being the ladiesware departments. I feel uncomfortable being in the mens departments. I hate shopping for mensware.
It will get easier with time
I do not have a problem with sopping for or buying womens clothing and lingrie. I don't know if can pull it off full time in public crossdressed. I have a lot of transformation to go through to pull that off, but it is not out of the question.
There are several things you can do.
1. Bring a list of things you need to buy. Others will think that you're buying it for someone else or for something other than yourself. In Hollywood, for example, some people thought I was buying for a film/theatre set.
2. Talk on the phone while you're shopping. This will make it seem like you're buying for someone else who is trying to direct you on what to buy.
3. Ask one question at the end: what is the return policy on these items in case it doesn't fit her or she doesn't like them?
4. Go shopping on a specific holiday/special day, like before Christmas, Valentine's Day, etc. This will make it more like you're buying the stuff as a gift.
5. Spread out your shopping: don't buy all your stuff at one place. For example, you can buy underwear in one place, a skirt or single outfit in another, etc.
In Hollywood who would care?
haha! Great point. Perhaps that's why I was so at ease shopping there! (Orange County was a different story though)
People who don't live there, or don't understand it, don't get how freaking huge LA is, how vastly different it is from place to place. Hollywood and that area is not all that far from Orange, but they might as well be on different planets. I'm kinda a Marina Del Rey/Venice/Santa Monica person myself, but I love going down to the fashion district, pretty awesome shopping.
Quote from: tekla on February 11, 2010, 04:21:58 PM
People who don't live there, or don't understand it, don't get how freaking huge LA is, how vastly different it is from place to place. Hollywood and that area is not all that far from Orange, but they might as well be on different planets. I'm kinda a Marina Del Rey/Venice/Santa Monica person myself, but I love going down to the fashion district, pretty awesome shopping.
I drove up to LA for the first time and it seemed to be nothing but freeways and traffic jams.
After the shopping is easier, what about the makeup and hair? Hair? Do you grow it out and style it or buy a wig? Makeup? Lipstick is easy, I think, but to transform the whole head into a fine woman, must take a truely femminine touch. Where do you go for that kind of presonal femminine help?
Hey, there are spaces between the freeways, some of them pretty nice.