I've noticed that many women and some men will refer to me as Hun, Sweetheart, or Dear. So I am wondering what is their perception of me? Do they see me as a man? woman? a TG? I'm not sure ??? Men will often hold doors for me. But this is common where I live. Some women will call everyone Hun...etc. I'm feeling a bit confused :laugh:
Quote from: Virginia Marie on March 27, 2009, 08:13:15 PM
I've noticed that many women and some men will refer to me as Hun, Sweetheart, or Dear. So I am wondering what is their perception of me? Do they see me as a man? woman? a TG? I'm not sure ??? Men will often hold doors for me. But this is common where I live. Some women will call everyone Hun...etc. I'm feeling a bit confused :laugh:
What would you really like us to call you? :)
I am guilt of using "Hun" with customers. I some how feel into that habit, not really sure why.
Generally, if they are calling you hon (especially men), they see you as female. Women can go either way, but those are terms generally reserved for women. Older people go either way too.
Terms like that used for men by men are usually 'brother', 'son', 'man', etc. I'd say it's pretty unusual for a man to call another man 'hon' or 'sweetheart' unless he is a lot older...like grandfather older. Although a guy I worked with once called me "son" and I was definitely dressed as a girl.
I use those terms too. But I'm southern, so that's my excuse. ;)
I think it's pretty much like Jaimey said; a lot of women just call everybody 'hon,' but if a guy calls you hon, sweetheart or dear he most likely sees you as a woman. Personally though, I've never even seen an older man use any of those terms when addressing another male.
A guy could call you hun in the situation where he saw you as a guy but suspected you of being gay or tg and didn't want to hurt your feelings.
Personally, I don't like the term hun, not sure why. I think it's because it's awfully carpetty, .. Hun, huun, hunnn... I dunno, there's just something about it that feels like a carpet... and I don't like carpets all that much.
Sweetie is cool, and it works for anyone who isn't a prick. :)
I know several gays who over use the term hun. Maybe they can't remember names. I have a friend who used to call me brother until he saw me dressed the first time. Now it's sister. I like dear, dearest, sweety. Even the "B" word is appropraite at times. A GG friend calls me slut sometimes and I thank her.
People tend to call me this kind of name because I look young and female. I went into a meeting for the philosophy club at my school and the guy who ran it immediately started calling me sweetheart and, addressing the group, said, "gentlemen and lady". When another female came in, I didn't hear him call her sweetheart or anything, but he switched to "ladies".
I probably won't go back to that club. All I ask is to not be patronized, and what does it get me? Ugh.
I love those words, saves me the trouble of remembering names.
I get called flower and petal sometimes,
Oh, what I get called is a very different list.
Quote from: tekla on March 29, 2009, 02:00:43 PM
Oh, what I get called is a very different list.
well kids can be so cruel
Well if its cruel to be kind, I'm basking in the mother's milk of human kindness.
I liked "mothers milk" by the Chilles...
I don't think there is any indication that they see you as a man Virginia. If you find pleasure in it then please enjoy! I remember someone called me petal once and I think I simpered and fluttered my eyes a little :icon_cute:
I'm trying to think of our New Zealand equivalents. People here don't tend to say hun, or sugar, or sweetheart or luv. You do hear "my dear" fairly regulalry as in "can I help you my dear" - but it is a bit more of a familiar way of addressing someone when there is a bit of cheekyness in the air or it is an affectionate diminutive, usually said by older women to anyone.
We do say mate and bro or buddy, even with women. More formally sir or miss. I'm going to keep an ear out.
I enjoy the R.H.C.Peppers also :laugh: When I lived in Calif. it was common to refer to girls as Bro, Buddy, and Dude. But I mostly lived in beach towns. I did find it odd when guys would refer to me as Dude and Bro...then try to feel me up ???
If somebody called me petal or flower I'd probably assume they were being a smart-ass.
My partner and I sometimes jokingly address each other as dude. And a couple of my guy friends still occasionally call me dude too, but always in a surprised/excited expressive sorta way like, "Whoa, dude, check out that cool such-and-such". Of course these are guys I've known since long before I transitioned, so it really doesn't bother me.
I hear a lot of guys call each other "Dawg" these days though, and that's definitely where I'd draw the line. :icon_boxing: :icon_bat:
Where I live, dude is completely gender-neutral. Guys say it to girls, girls say it to guys, everyone says it to me and I say it to everyone. I wouldn't call a female bro or buddy though.
Maybe it's a beach town thing.(Dude, Bro, Buddy) I mostly noticed it with the surfers :laugh:
i work in barnsley in the uk, world renound for love petal, hun etc its all they ever use so its really difficult to tell if there using cos they see me as female as they just use it all the time anyway. one thing i have noticed though is that i use hun a lot more when talking to female friends than i used to. i think its one of then relating words when used like that
Down here in the Caribbean everyone is addressed as sugar, dear, darling, girl/boy friend, sweetie and on. We are also very formal about greetings. When ever you pass someome, walk into a store or the post office or a govt. building you must say good morning, afternoon, evening or night or you are considered rude and the offended perso gets vexed. It's a cool custom and one of the appealing things for me.
That's pretty cool Bombi :icon_biggrin: Up where I'm at now, most folks are rather polite most of the time. But not always. Many will so hello, etc. We also have what's called a "Cowboy nod". It is usually an unspoken form of hello, but some folks will say "Howdy" along with it :laugh:
my male friends mostly call me babe or hun, mostly its just jokingly but i am rather androgynous in my actions etc. I look 80% male i recon so in day to day life dont get it anywhere near as much.
I mostly call my male friends son, or certain ones get a babe.
This topic reminded me of a funny story from last week. I rang my weed dealer and at the end of the convo he accidently called me babe and got really uncomfortable :D. Also i few months ago i was in a friend's garden with him and a girlfriend of mine when his housemate came in a said "sorry mate, didnt realise you were entertaining a couple of ladies" I collapsed into a fit of giggles :P
I know I'm late to the discussion party here but I've been busy lately with RL stuff.
I hate, hate, hate, hate these nicknames with a fiery, burning passion. It's not only these, but most pet names in general that tick me off to no end. :-\
Where I work, older people and the elderly are our main customer base and I get each one of these names sometimes multiple times a day; I just grin and bear it, but inside all I want to do is tell them "This is my name, it's on my tag, read it, it's not difficult."
But I'm not allowed to say things like that at my job. Most of you are right though that the elderly don't usually care what gender you are when it comes to pet names, I think it's kind of a generational thing. I rarely ever get these sort of names from someone under 40. It's pretty obvious to a lot of people what my physical sex is, partly thanks to my terribly betraying voice. :icon_anger:
I guess what ticks me more than anything is when I -know- that some people are using these names simply because of my appearance. I've only gotten 'Sir' a few times; I thought my head was going to swell like a hot air balloon even after that man realized his 'mistake' later on.
I think there is a difference between work, casual society and friends.
I spend a lot of time in a nursing home and everyone uses the first name to the carer and to the caree (?). I'm a visitor and I'm addressed by my first name.
I have a tendency to talk to my girl friends as Hun, or Hon and of course use their real names. I just find it chatty and informal to people I trust.
I usually say G'day Mate to males and females I meet in social context, a common Australian greeting.
My sister in law always greets me with; Hello Gorgeous.
I don't have a problem with that either.
I think as long as you are not making fun of someone, who doesn't know you as a close friend, greetings are just that. Hi
Cindy James
Cindy James
I have this terrible habit of randomly calling people hon, babe, sweetie or dude, without any regard for gender presentation. Mostly dude. I try to watch it a little--esp. around people with more ambiguous gender presentation, or who I know to be TG or TS. Last thing the world needs is an androgyne ostensibly sniping at or undermining other peoples' identities, even if the impression isn't intentional.
One I REALLY hate is 'babe'. It just makes my skin crawl. :( Actually, I'm not too keen on 'sweetheart' either. Both sound pretty patronising to me...
I like 'dude' though. It's pretty gender-neutral where I'm from and so it's quite versatile. Mind you, so is 'man', which is probably unusual. Oh, well, I still get kicks out of them anyway.
I actually don't mind 'hon' because to me it sounds more affectionate than one of those "I didn't bother to learn your name"-type appelations. I suppose because quite a few of my elderly relatives say it a lot to me! 'Bro' would be cool...
My mother sometimes calls me 'mister' as well, which I like. She also calls my little brother 'madam' which he doesn't like. :D
Gender neutral is good. Sometimes I use expressions (vulgar) which apply to everyone in within my vision. Anger management? I enjoy being called ma'am or sir. no problem.
I use bro, bruv, and brother a fair bit, but pretty much only when there's some kind of fraternal relationship. I might call a male-identifying friend I've known for a long time bro, or another heathen I'm close to (esp. if they're an Odin's-man or a Lokean).