So I have spoken to my parents already about it.
Just like the typical mother, my mother is very religious, is heavily discriminational to gays, lesbians and so on.
Yes, she is my mother but if they are not happy with who I am, which is like letting another big bomb on them if they cannot accept me for who I currently am, there is no point in being involved with my family.
She told me that they will always be there for me, which I find half truthful because it is not always true.
If I did change my sex later on, she said nothing about that and it gives me the idea they will not support me.
All in all, the talk went horrible and got no-where as my mother has highly opposing views on my decision to become a female... and I will be kicked out if I do anything feminine which is a HIGH form of discrimination and I quote;
"Your little brother is growing up and he will face his own decisions in life, I do not want him to be around homosexual people or any in-between."
Basically what I am saying is, despite how understanding mym other is trying to be, she does not truly understand what it is to be a transgender, she can study all the psychology she wants and use facts and these bogus terms all she wants, it does not work on people.
Basically, I am banned from being myself in my parents home and when I finally get to Texas, I am only speaking to some of my siblings and my grandmother plus some friends.
This is disturbing to me but I knew it would happen.
There are plans I intend to make and do but incase someone from my family stumbles upon my topics, I am going to keep it a secret for now.
Anyway, I will change and become the person I see myself as, only I know what and WHO I wish to be.
I am not mad at my mother though, she has her views and I AM living in their house, so I understand their concerns even if it is discrimination (which I do not agree with her views) but I am living in their house and it is sort of black-mail.
However I am going to move to Texas and begin my new life.
It sucks badly, but there are outlets I have to keep my sanity.
People may try to change me and sugar-coat it with their beliefs, facts from absolutely no relating evidence and try to pin someone as being wrong and later using the notion "if..." "were..." and so on, it does not work.
Trying to "cure" homosexuality and ->-bleeped-<- doesn't work no matter what ph.d. you have in psychology.
It isn't physical, but mental and we still have a long way to go before we truly understand ourselves.
Regardless of the situation I will be myself whether it be what I like or do not, one thing will come out of it.
My mother does not seem to approve of gay couples raising children, which is actually just a stereotypical belief based on angry mothers.
My father doesn't want to see me change, which I expected.
Wish me luck people, my parents do not want to support me, which is not love because I have to be a man to be loved and that is NOT love despite how things are worded.
I asked questions based on her views about my gay friends she loves if they raised children... she said nothing.
It proves to me that my mother has not done the research she told me she has done and only understands what SHE understands and its like I Spy.
You have to research both sides instead of one and if one studies one side only, you are likely to have conflicting arguments due to a mis-understanding or belief you only hold on to.
So anyway, as much as this sucks, I will be Janet Merai eventually :3
im sprry my family is mostly the same way, may be one day they will start to come around. my dad startec to come around about 2 years ago. mom and everyone esle still not into the idea of me being myself
The day my parents will actually care about me is if I become what they want to be, a man married to a woman which is NOT happening.
They have this stereotypical "male hunter" and "care taking mother" fantasy of their children including me.
Just because I am not taking their "fantasy" to reality, I am given different treatment like I am a horrible person, kind of like the mental version of Cinderella.
One day, I will be who I wish to be both mentally and physically :3
If you get a chance here in a while, while the movie is old, see Fiddler On The Roof. It is about parents, society, and children in a world of change, you will cry, or maybe find yourself wanting to, since it is a story about a family like yours. OK, the people in the movie are Russian Jewish, but you will have the outlet of knowing your situation is not new, since the movie is set in rural Russia in the late 1800's. The story is not about gender, but the parallels to our situation today are there. The touching thing is that you see the emotions of the parents that you may not be seeing at home.
Some of us "older" people here saw it first run, and it will stay with you. For that matter, maybe you can use it for a little bit of mild subversion on your parents, and have some remaining quality time with them.
I've had my fair share of difficulty with my own parents, and all I can say is that you have to be yourself, with or without them. This means that you have to be willing to walk away from them if they cannot be there for you (I had to do this). It's a very tough decision, and my heart goes out to anyone in this situation. It just sucks.
Janet Merai-- you described precisely how my parents have been treating me. I can commiserate.
I've done a hell of a lot of work on letting go. It's been rough.
Hi Janet
It's a tough time. I some times think it amusing (not in the Ha Ha way). That people who don't have the problems are so intolerant. This seems to happen in every walk of life. Sex, colour, religion, illness. If you are not like me YOU ARE WRONG. It's sad.
Time I think for you to plan to move on. You may have lost part of one family but we are here for you, as you are for us. Time to boldly go where no TG has gone before ;), beam me on Scotty.
Good Luck and Hugs and :-*
Cindy James
I am really glad that you spoke to them even though it went badly. You now have a platform to base your decisions regarding them off of. If I may ask, may we have an update? Has having time to cool down and think about it helped things at all?