So, I am trying to figure out what to do for a pool situation.
I am not full time yet, so I have some time, but my breasts are starting to get bigger and noticeable and I'm starting to get a bit androgynous. I also had my consult with Dr. Z this morning and am looking to get FFS during the summer.
My problem is that I am still in school, and my friends and I go to the pool a lot. I am trying to figure out what to do
A) Bathroom wise. Should I use the men's or the women's locker room? Any suggestions on changing, I mean I still have a penis to hide, and I would really rather not be outed in a locker room.
B) Suggestions on bathing suits and hiding your package? Any bathing suits that work better than others? How about swim skirts?
Any ideas?
How about your experiences with said topics.
Thanks!
Hi Valerie,
Do you have to go, is it required, is it avoidable? I'd probably avoid it at all costs until after SRS or somehow not wear a bathing suit. The problem is that bathing suits really show off the body of most transwomen pretty harshly. Shoulder-waist-hip proportions no matter how pumped or hrt'd are going to most likely have issues. If you are with close close friends and you are already out to them, it might be different. If you face ANY type of discovery or coming out process with strangers, I'd recommend against it. I am someone who would play it safe at this point in your transition and try to avoid the pool. That's just me, I tend to err on the side of caution though... Meghan
PS, good to see you here, welcome aboard :)
I am lucky in that our pool here is close enough that I can dress at home. I have a one piece and use a gaff to hide. While the pool isn't open just yet, at home it works.
You might want to get into your bathing suit at home and wear it under a pair os shorts.
Janet
Ummmmmm, is there a reason you have to go? Sorry, but this is a place you are most likely to be outed. Unless you have significant shrinkage, you should really reconsider wearing a bathing suit. Those swim skirts look ok on grandmothers. For someone your age, might just as well hang a neon sign out. I know of a few girls who can tuck well enough to pull of a bikini, but that is really the exception. Now when I go to the beach I have worn a two piece with shorts over them. That works ok for walking around and stuff.
Is there a friend with a pool at home you could hang around?
I hope you are hearing our concern. We do not want you to be the victim of violence. Please take care!
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You already look rather fem. I'd save the ffs money and get srs. I use a light wrap that I tie around my waist like most girls. I don't allow anyone to see my junk :laugh:
I'm with Kristi on this one, if you don't need a microscope to see it, you're going to see it in a bathing suit.
My junk isn't exactly small. But I'm pretty good at playing hide and seek :laugh: >:-) :laugh:
My suggestion is if you look androgynous in the pool then wear androgynous clothing.
For example, swim shorts or board shorts and a rash top.
Maybe you could try a one piece with swim/board shorts. The rest is all about tucking - maybe you could wear some tight undies or a bikini bottom underneath?
I don't know what your local area is like but I guess one option is that as long as your boobs are not hanging out then don't bother what anyone else thinks. Once you are in the water nobody will care, and have a towel handy for when you get out.
At my local pool they have family rooms, and disability toilets. You could use those if they are avaialble? Or just change in the bathrooms. Maybe you could change before you go and don't change back untill you get home. or maybe you could ask your friends to help shield you?
I hope for your sake its far more hide, and very little seek.
Wow... I am really surprised by the posts here suggesting to avoid swimming...
I am full-time and non-op. I had no swimsuit problems last year (my first year using one as a girl).... I wear a two piece tankini
The bottom is a shaping suit, black and skirted. Those three items were deliberate choices. 1) Shaping Suit - I don't need help controlling my body LOL but the added tensile strength does help restrain the unfortunate bits better. 2) Black, as a clothing color, helps to minimize curves -- which adds another help to hiding the unfortunate bits. 3) The skirt - for obvious reasons, helps to obscure things more. The combination works well and I have never been "read" while wearing it. And plenty of guys have stared long enough at my body that they should have. LOL
One woman I know does something similar but since she's obsessed about hiding kibbles and bits, she uses duct tape in addition to all of that. All I can say is "ouch".
As to the allegations only grannies wear skirts -- that's not true. I've met and seen many modest GG's who wear them in their 20s and 30s. There's a reason these things are sold - not everyone WANTS to show off everything... the trick to blending in is to pick a young, sporty suit top to go with it. In my case a Lucky Brand halter tankini did the trick.
As for changing, I'd put the suit on before hand. Less issues that way. I often wear it under a long hippie skirt until I get where I am going.
Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 22, 2009, 10:52:19 PM
You already look rather fem. I'd save the ffs money and get srs.
Thanks! I'm going to talk to my doctors before I make any decisions, but I am considering FFS during the summer. Nothing is set in stone yet though.
Quote from: Kristi on April 22, 2009, 10:49:52 PMThose swim skirts look ok on grandmothers.
I disagree as well. I have seen plenty of women wearing them. Victoria's Secret has plenty of young models in them and they don't look out of place. Lastly, I talked with one of my friends who is a genetic girl and she said that the skirts would be fine, and wouldn't look out of place.
Quote from: Nicky on April 22, 2009, 11:03:34 PM
Maybe you could try a one piece with swim/board shorts.
I was thinking of something similar to this. I know a couple of girls who wear womens board shorts and a bikini top and don't look out of place.
Thanks for all the advice!
The last few days here its been in the 90s, so I checked out the pool and hot tubs, saw lots of bikini tops and board shorts, but not a single skirt. Perhaps that's just the fashion here, or somewhere else.
Quote from: tekla on April 23, 2009, 01:31:38 PM
The last few days here its been in the 90s, so I checked out the pool and hot tubs, saw lots of bikini tops and board shorts, but not a single skirt. Perhaps that's just the fashion here, or somewhere else.
That might very well be true... CA fashion is it's own beast :D
It did seem to me that the boardshorts look was favored by the Latinas, most of whom are moms, while the SRJC students liked the barely there bikinis.
Quote from: Valerie Elizabeth on April 23, 2009, 01:22:26 PM
I disagree as well. I have seen plenty of women wearing them. Victoria's Secret has plenty of young models in them and they don't look out of place. Lastly, I talked with one of my friends who is a genetic girl and she said that the skirts would be fine, and wouldn't look out of place.
I was thinking of something similar to this. I know a couple of girls who wear womens board shorts and a bikini top and don't look out of place.
I wear a white victoria's secret skirt two piece. I definitely don't think it is inappropriate for our age group, it is actually my girlfriend's and she is 19. Sometimes she used to even wear girl's board shorts over her bikini (and still does occasionally). She is definitely gorgeous too, some girls are just more self conscious about their thighs, ass, whatever and it is really not that unusual.
After FFS I doubt anyone will mistake you for a guy again. I'm putting FFS before SRS too. That's cool you might get it done as soon as this summer.
Quote from: Valerie Elizabeth on April 22, 2009, 10:12:42 PM
So, I am trying to figure out what to do for a pool situation.
I am not full time yet, so I have some time, but my breasts are starting to get bigger and noticeable and I'm starting to get a bit androgynous. I also had my consult with Dr. Z this morning and am looking to get FFS during the summer.
My problem is that I am still in school, and my friends and I go to the pool a lot. I am trying to figure out what to do
A) Bathroom wise. Should I use the men's or the women's locker room? Any suggestions on changing, I mean I still have a penis to hide, and I would really rather not be outed in a locker room.
B) Suggestions on bathing suits and hiding your package? Any bathing suits that work better than others? How about swim skirts?
Any ideas?
How about your experiences with said topics.
Thanks!
Great topic and one that should be dealt with. Other forums seemed to shy away from the 'reality' of 'real life situations' and this thread is an important one. It is also a dillema that should be faced up to. I have got a bit of a belly and feel I need to tone up before the summer and I have small breasts which is a big worry in a swim suit.
I specifically avoided going to pools unless they had a family changing room. But my youngest daughter (age 11) finally dragged me through the women's changing room at the neighborhood pool saying, "Nobody will know, and after all, your name is Elisabeth."
Going to public pools and locker rooms are two things you really don't want to attempt when in transition. In fact it's straight up STUPID.
Find another activity for swimming or get used to people knowing what you are. Because you can't hide your tits in a guy's suit, nor can you hide what's between your legs in a bikini.
Quote from: Annwyn on May 03, 2009, 12:35:55 AM
Going to public pools and locker rooms are two things you really don't want to attempt when in transition. In fact it's straight up STUPID.
Find another activity for swimming or get used to people knowing what you are. Because you can't hide your tits in a guy's suit, nor can you hide what's between your legs in a bikini.
I'm going to respectfully disgaree with you there... I've had breasts since I was 14 (I was A-cup back then) and often swam as a guy and no one noticed. The keys were to do something that covered the nipples and then a thick loose tshirt shirt as a "top" while swimming. You're not going to be able to do laps, but for spending time with friends in the pool it is an option.
As for from the female suit side, I'd suggest let go of the "women wear bikinis mentality" -- not everyone does (in fact NONE of my genetic friends do - and they're all in the 20-30's range). Unless your pr-n star name would be "Rockzilla", there are suits that can restrain and hide what's going on down below. You just need to do careful research and often an extensive shopping search.
In addition to a good suit, it also takes some effort as well as some common sense... for example, change in a bathroom stall (which again, some modest women will do so it's not unusual).
I guess my point is this... if you are passable in your day to day life, there's little reason you can't be passable in a swimming pool or on the beach. In my experience, fear is not a good reason to stop living life. And isn't transition about finally living our lives?
If you're not living your life before transition then you won't be afterwards either, because more has to change than just outward appearance. Because that's all transitioning is doing, is living in a different model and physical appearance as you change. Jumping out into something like a public pool isn't something most women could do. I'm told day after day that I'm beautiful, short, passable, soft pokey, WHATEVER, but I still don't have enough courage to venture into a swimming pool. All it would take is one thing to come loose and bam, there'd be a lot of angry guys.
Quote from: AnnwynGoing to public pools and locker rooms are two things you really don't want to attempt when in transition. In fact it's straight up STUPID.
Quote from: Annwyn on May 03, 2009, 12:18:58 PM
Jumping out into something like a public pool isn't something most women could do. I'm told day after day that I'm beautiful, short, passable, soft pokey, WHATEVER, but I still don't have enough courage to venture into a swimming pool. All it would take is one thing to come loose and bam, there'd be a lot of angry guys.
(Emphasis added is mine)
Annwyn,
The reason I posted what I did was the first quote from you. It is not inherently stupid to swim during transition. It may not be right for everyone, but that by no means makes it stupid. Based on your second post, I'd suspect what you meant when you typed that was more along the lines of...
Going to public pools and locker rooms are two things
I really don't want to attempt when in transition. In fact,
for me it's straight up STUPID.
You are right that courage is critical. Like anything we face for the first time during transition, being ready for it is key, otherwise you will fail. When someone isn't ready, they shouldn't attempt it. But Valerie Elizabeth, has stated a desire to swim with her friends. She's trying to figure out how to make it work - and looking for advice how to. It's ultimately up to her, if swimming is something she's up for. But she shouldn't get discouraged by other people's concerns and fears.
I recommend that you go full-time. Take the leap off into the deep end of the pool and get your feet wet.
Quote from: Annwyn on May 03, 2009, 12:35:55 AM
Going to public pools and locker rooms are two things you really don't want to attempt when in transition. In fact it's straight up STUPID.
Find another activity for swimming or get used to people knowing what you are. Because you can't hide your tits in a guy's suit, nor can you hide what's between your legs in a bikini.
Rubbish! my friend managed it last week, no problem with loads of genetic females. Part of the RLT is a RLT..
Quote from: Naturally Blonde on May 05, 2009, 03:59:15 PM
Rubbish! my friend managed it last week, no problem with loads of genetic females. Part of the RLT is a RLT..
Can you post pics of your friend in such said bikini to support that statement? I doubt it. Just as I doubt the statement you just made.
Quote from: Annwyn on May 03, 2009, 12:35:55 AM
Going to public pools and locker rooms are two things you really don't want to attempt when in transition. In fact it's straight up STUPID.
Find another activity for swimming or get used to people knowing what you are. Because you can't hide your tits in a guy's suit, nor can you hide what's between your legs in a bikini.
Quote from: Annwyn on May 05, 2009, 05:38:43 PM
Can you post pics of your friend in such said bikini to support that statement? I doubt it. Just as I doubt the statement you just made.
Thank you for the vote of confidence. Anybody my age who wears a bikini could be called "straight up stupid," but I'll not go into all the unstated assumptions in your statement. You do seem to be obsessed with that hypothetical bikini.
One statement denotes obsession now.
Just some advise from a genetic female. I obviously don't know anything first hand about knowing which bathroom to use, but I would say use the female bathroom/ changing area. Nobody should be looking at you while you're changing, and I'm guessing that there are private stalls for changing, right? As long as you are presenting as a female going in and coming out, there shouldn't be anything odd about that. But someone in a girl's swimsuit coming out of the men's bathroom, that might catch attention, where as someone in a girl's swimsuit coming out of the girl's bathroom is no different then anyone else!
I'm personally very modest, so there are genetic girls out there that wear swim suits that hide quite a bit! I wear a tankini (two piece where the top covers my stomach) or a one piece, and either of them with board shorts over, since I do not like my legs!
Any board shorts or swim shorts would probably work well for you, as they aren't too tight, and (at least this is the way mine are..) you wear your regular bottoms underneath the shorts, so that would probably help with keeping things in place.
But the most important thing would just be, stay confident and have fun with your friends!
Hope this helped at least a little, or even just gave you another perspective! Good luck!
Quote from: Annwyn on May 05, 2009, 07:29:29 PM
One statement denotes obsession now.
No,
one does not. You did not say it only once.
Quote from: Lisbeth on May 06, 2009, 01:17:42 AM
No, one does not. You did not say it only once.
Please quote more than one statement referring to disbelief of the fishy bikini statement.
Quote from: Annwyn on May 05, 2009, 05:38:43 PM
Can you post pics of your friend in such said bikini to support that statement? I doubt it. Just as I doubt the statement you just made.
I can e-mail you the certification of her off shore 3 day intense training course which was undertaken with other competing females under close observation by female instructors. She passed with flying colours and wasn't read.
I said pics.
Not an easily forged, "certification."
Not that pics couldn't be photoshopped or altered? Nah, that never happens.
Getting back to the original topic, Newport-News catalog has suits with "powermesh" panties and linings, which might hold a tuck.
I use this totally cute wrap skirt thing for my bottom bikini, I wear a really tight thong under it to suck my sizeable male genitals under me and a bikini bottom to do the rest, and wear a dark colored skirt wrap that comes midthigh and it works really well for the beach! Try to find one, but make sure you have your genitals under control like I do because if something slides out the side then ...run!
Quote from: Annwyn on May 09, 2009, 11:53:00 AM
I said pics.
Not an easily forged, "certification."
It's pointless argueing with you but she lives with me and I drove her to the 3 day intense training course. I don't care if you don't believe me or not but the fact is she passed close inspection by a female instructor in a bathing suit on a course with genetic females. Yes, her 'pee pee' is extreamely small and is very easy to conceal. No one on the course thiought she was anything other than a genetic female.
Uh huh, totally.
I went to a swimming meet with this tall luscious black woman. Like woah the class had major stalkers cuz she was so hot. Great performer too.
I found out afterwards she was Michael Jordan, just chillin out for the weekend away from the game. I would have never known...
found out afterwards she was Michael Jordan
Wasn't the fadeaway jump shot a dead giveaway?
Quote from: Kristi on April 22, 2009, 10:49:52 PM
Ummmmmm, is there a reason you have to go? Sorry, but this is a place you are most likely to be outed. Unless you have significant shrinkage, you should really reconsider wearing a bathing suit. Those swim skirts look ok on grandmothers. For someone your age, might just as well hang a neon sign out. I know of a few girls who can tuck well enough to pull of a bikini, but that is really the exception. Now when I go to the beach I have worn a two piece with shorts over them. That works ok for walking around and stuff.
Is there a friend with a pool at home you could hang around?
I hope you are hearing our concern. We do not want you to be the victim of violence. Please take care!
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I can not agree more. Safey first.
I admit I just looked over the comments, but I didn't see any one suggest if you know you are going to the pool ahead of time to wear the bathing suit under the clothes you have on. That way if you are embarrased you don't have to change in front of any one. There is no reason for us to stop enjoying life if we can get away with it. Just make sure it is a swimsuit you are comfortable with. :)
I will be moving to an apartment with a pool in July. I fully intend on visiting said pool. I'll post the results and/or experiences after I get there.
Yes we can were suits. Proff and please be kind. ;D
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Quote from: pheonix on May 03, 2009, 10:50:51 AM
I'd suggest let go of the "women wear bikinis mentality" -- not everyone does (in fact NONE of my genetic friends do - and they're all in the 20-30's range). sense... for example, change in a bathroom stall (which again, some modest women will do so it's not unusual).
... if you are passable in your day to day life, there's little reason you can't be passable in a swimming pool or on the beach. In my experience, fear is not a good reason to stop living life. And isn't transition about finally living our lives?
Yep, yep.....I agree. I wear a skirted suit, not because I have to but because I want to. So, yes, transition is about living your life, BUT....you also have to protect your life, and don't do anything to get busted. Go to a DIFFERENT pool with an obliging gg friend, where running into other people who know you is highly unlikely. Use the stall to dress. Use the stall to dress. Use the stall to dress.
Miss Bev
I had significant shrinkage, but with a tight pair of panties under a one-piece I had no problem tucking things away....
best of luck to you---it is an amazing feeling to be on the beach completely en femme!