Susan's Place Transgender Resources

For me it's the former but to each their own :)

Is that bad in the eyes of some?

Pretty Girls Rule The World, or Pretty Girls Make Graves - either way

you mean would i rather be an attractive girl or pass as an unattractive man?

well, i'm already the former, and just started T. so, i suppose i've chosen to be the latter.  :laugh:

Quote from: Nero on April 28, 2009, 11:59:33 AM
you mean would i rather be an attractive girl or pass as an unattractive man?

well, i'm already the former, and just started T. so, i suppose i've chosen to be the latter.  :laugh:

Who says you can't be an attractive man? :)

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Post Merge: April 28, 2009, 11:02:47 AM

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BTW the question is referred to those who are transitioning or who have already transferred...

oh ok. then i'd rather pass as an un-hot man than as a hot masculine woman.

Fair enough, I'm the opposite, I'd rather be Hot and androgynous than anything else.

:laugh:

How 'bout both? :laugh:

I think the point is to be fully one's self, isn't it?

Besides, "hot" tends to mean different things to different people. To be metaphysically "hot" seems an impossibility unless, of course, you manage to take form as a Platonic ideal. :laugh:

Nichole

androgynous definitely has its perks.  ;)

Quote from: Kiera on April 28, 2009, 12:51:51 PM

Nichole lol what 'ave i missed here? (as usual stupid plz "clue me in") I've been told i'm "hot" as a male but otherthanthat how can one be both "hot" in their target gender AND "not pass" ??? In programming lingo that'd be an "exclusive AND" condition that should never happen thus pointless (as opposed to "exclusive OR")

ergo "Pass And Not Be Hot!" definitely! lol preferably? as in ugly?

I don't think you missed nuttin, kiddo. When I read it I more or less agreed with your puzzlement over being hot and not passing, unless, of course, one was planning to spend a lot of time amid so-called "->-bleeped-<-s!" LOL

But, you could pass and not be hot or maybe not pass and be hot in your original sex.

Sorry, better ask imaz those questions, darlin.' It's her survey!! :laugh:

N~

I also have been told I am 'Hot'.  ???  And I pass ( still hate that word ) good enough to avoid that strange looks, being laughed at or pointed out.  So I guess I blend in pretty well.

So like Nichole said, Why can't I be both.

Janet

Pass and not be hot. 

Being called an attractive female was actually an insult to me, even before I came out to myself...  being told I had a (and I quote) "flaming hot ass" was not a positive thing.  It just reminded me that I have incredibly feminine fat deposits on my posterior, and I felt inexplicably ashamed and angry.  Ditto for my family telling me (during adolescence) that I was developing "such a nice shape" and that I should dress a bit nicer to "show it off."  Made me uncomfortable.

Can it be both?  ???

pass and not hot, don't want anyone to burn their  :P

The question is slightly open to interpretation:

First off, there's a difference between being hot but not passing, and being hot and androgynous.  Not passing, to me, means people see you as your birth sex, whereas being androgynous means people don't necessarily know what to think.  So if it's a question of hot+androgynous vs not-hot+passing, I'll take hot and androgynous.

But if we're talking *really* not passing, then I'll take passing + slightly less than hot.  Maybe you meant to say passing+being unattractive?  Because that would be a tough choice.

I think of it more like this. I dont know how it is like to be hot-and what you dont know dont hurt you. But I do know how it is like to not pass, and that hurts me. Thats why I voted as I voted.

Quote from: Kiera on April 28, 2009, 01:14:36 PM

lol could always be worse Eryk so *cheer up*! try being

MARRIED to a err, rather "not so hot" gg female who's (because of?) not only "unaccepting" but INSECURE & JEALOUS!

lol a third option (for me a no brainer)

• single and not pass!
• hot and androgynous (lol added)

[/list]

Hehe! Hot and androgynous added... Gets my vote if I hadn't already voted :)

Thanks for the input.

Hot and androgynous.  I would prefer to look androgynous than masculine anyway, so this was a no brainer.

Rather depends on who you want to be "hot" for, doesn't it ? ...  ???

I want to be seen as hot by attractive, intelligent, elegible, fun, straight guys ... ;)

Or at least be seen as attractive and interesting enough to get their attention when I want it.  For that I must pass near perfectly.

I have no desire to be seen as a hot "T-girl" by ->-bleeped-<-s / admirers / wierdos or even genuine bi guys ...

Guess I'm doing OK if you check out my cellphone contact list ...  ;D  ;D  ;D ...

But not doing so well when it comes to long term relationships or keeping a guy where passing no longer matters, as at that point you have to reveal your history (unless you live 100% stealth and have no possible links back to your past) ...

Laura x

(P.S. this must be my first post back here since about 3 months !)

I always get a little odd feeling when ever a trans person ask about their pass-ability. I'm no beauty queen and I have no delusions about ever being one but I am full time and I never get a second look. As for me....

Not hot and pass. I'd rather be an ugly woman then a hot guy.

Quote from: Laura Eva B on April 28, 2009, 07:47:50 PM
Rather depends on who you want to be "hot" for, doesn't it ? ...  ???

Not for me it doesn't!

I want to look hot for myself and for my own self esteem, if someone fancies me I take it as a positive. Doesn't mean I'm necessarily interested in them.

Ok I'm a greedy girl I want it all. But the reality is I pass a good bit but not all the time.  But I try to get better all the time. ;-)


BTW Laura Eve B, welcome back Hon!!!!

Ooooo, hot and androgynous sounds fun!

I'd rather pass as an average woman, then be considered hot but people know I was once a man...

I indicated "Don't care."  I am who I am and folks can make up their own mind when they see me. If they don't like what they see then it's their problem not mine.

We tend to spend a lot of time and effort on our appearance, and as we humans are very visual we tend to make decisions/assumptions the first time we see something/someone, so it's a natural thing that many would be concerned about how they look and present.  For myself it's all about acceptance.

I must admit though, it feels really good when you get cat calls (and yes I know some consider those offensive)  the bottom line is that my fiance thinks I'm hot and that's all that matters. :)

-={LR}=-

Oh my G-d
Sorry Imaz, As you know I  love you Hun. What do you mean by HOT.

I would like to be at a point when men drool, and women pant.
And I don't
I just move them with my stilletoe

Cindy J

I would just like to be at a point where I can look in the mirror and feel happy about how I look.

Ketsy
There is on one to judge that except you.
CJ

Quote from: CindyJames on April 30, 2009, 06:37:07 AM
Oh my G-d
Sorry Imaz, As you know I  love you Hun. What do you mean by HOT.

I would like to be at a point when men drool, and women pant.
And I don't
I just move them with my stilletoe

Cindy J

Hehe! Hot as in sexually attractive ;)

Not hot as in stuck in a Jakarta traffic jam with the air conditioning not working!

Quote from: CindyJames on April 30, 2009, 06:37:07 AM

I just move them with my stilletoe

WoW! That's HOT!!!  ;)

Quote from: imaz on April 28, 2009, 12:08:58 PM
I'd rather be Hot and androgynous than anything else.

There are days when I'd prefer this. But for the most part, I'd rather pass than be hot.

All I would like to do is pass and be a normal woman.  Hot?  I have no delusions.

Kristi

Sorry, can't identify... I mean, I pass and I sizzle!  >:-)

Honestly, though, how can you be "hot" and not pass? Unless you're hanging out with ->-bleeped-<-s all the time?

I figure there's more to life than sex, too. I would like to be beautiful, but it might be a pain if I had to beat guys off with sticks all the time.

This is an interesting one because imo pre FFS, if I took time applying my make up skilfully to help camouflage my more obvious male facial features, whilst enhancing my more feminine ones, I think I could, at times, make myself look quite 'pretty' (she says modestly). However, regardless I wouldn't pass if subjected to any serious scrutiny. Post FFS I certainly pass a whole lot better than I did, however, imo I look far plainer than before. I've come to the conclusion that all classic feminine facial proportions don't necessarily enhance and can even, in some instances, detract from the impact and attractiveness of ones appearance.

Passing is the objective for most transsexuals, so I would go with Pass And Not Be Hot

"Hot" is about the intellect and experience for me. What have you done or seen?  What cataclysm formed you? Where or who have you been?  ;)

My vanity exceeds sensibility; I'd much rather be hot and not pass.

However, I wouldn't have transitioned if I knew I wouldn't pass.
There's that vanity again :D

Quote from: Jörgen, on April 28, 2009, 11:54:09 AM

As long as we're... beautiful in our own opinion, I don't think anything else matters. :)

Wow.  What a load.

I get confidence in myself from what I see in the mirror.  The better I look, the better I function.

Call it vanity if you will.  I just know that I really hate ugly people, and what's even worse is I hate ugly people who pretend they're all that.  Sure they might be nice and fun to talk to, but god it makes my stomach turn over.

You're going to have an interesting medical career. Keep the chuck bags close :laugh:
Cindy

Quote from: Annwyn on May 15, 2009, 02:33:46 AM
I just know that I really hate ugly people, and what's even worse is I hate ugly people who pretend they're all that.  Sure they might be nice and fun to talk to, but god it makes my stomach turn over.

Absolutely amazing!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi

Quote from: Annwyn on May 15, 2009, 02:33:46 AM
... I just know that I really hate ugly people, and what's even worse is I hate ugly people who pretend they're all that.  Sure they might be nice and fun to talk to, but god it makes my stomach turn over.

We're all entitled to opinions, but "ugly" seems like one of those qualities that depends on the eye of the beholder. It's a fairly subjective decision as to who/what is and who/what isn't.

Besides, luv, who's to say you'll not need to have two chuck bags ready in the examining room? One for you and one for the patient, just in case? LOL.

Pass and not be hot. That is quit simple.

Attractiveness is all subjective. Many people think I'm cute/hot, many people don't. Whatever. I don't think I could have handled not passing as a guy for much longer... I feel SO much better about myself now that I do pass.

As a girl, I had so many guys hit on me that it was miserable to go out to a bar or anything. I don't know if that means I was "hot," or what. Now, as a guy, girls tell me I'm cute... if they're my friends. Gay guys who are into masculine guys seem to like how I look, but I still wish I didn't look SO masculine. I would've preferred to look more androgynous, because T's effect was such that now, most people see me as some uber-masculine guy... which is far from who I am inside.

So... I don't know. Yes, I would far rather pass than be considered "hot."

SD

I'd prefer a passable appearance. If anyone thinks I'm hot great. I love compliments but hands off.

yup. if i could not pass i would just rather die!

when starting my transition i had arguments as to why i needed to wait. such as;
a.) when i lose this weight
      the reply i got, there are no women overweight?
b.) after i get some work done on my face?
      the reply i got, there are no women who need work done
      their faces
c.) when i .................
      the reply i got, there are no women ..................


so what's my point?

get to where you want to be, where your the most comfortable with yourself and everyone else will accept you ( ok most will accept you, there are those religous nuts who will never accept you ) and you can be yourself.

there are beautiful women
there are ugly women
there are fat women
there are skinny women
there are women in between
and there is YOU


and the world needs you to be YOU



p.s.

i was informed my new nickname (among my family of friends anyway) is Mary Poppins

But if you don't have to be one of the fat or ugly ones, why do it - how people look (and the kind of weight they carry) has a huge effect on their outlook and options.

Interesting question and lot's of good answers.  I didn't answer the poll, because I don't accept any of the choices.  I'de like to say I don't care, but I do, and I think everyone does.  For the most part, we all try and present the best way we can.  When someone says they don't care, don't try, and then it is reflected in their appearance, I'm not sure I believe them.  Passing and being "hot" and/or attractive, is probably the goal for most of us, and being "hot" is partially a state of mind, and in the eyes of the beholder.  As for a statement about "ugly people", I believe it is what is in your heart that makes you ugly, certainly not your appearance.

Quote from: tekla on June 29, 2009, 08:46:16 AM
But if you don't have to be one of the fat or ugly ones, why do it - how people look (and the kind of weight they carry) has a huge effect on their outlook and options.

That's very true.

I'm pretty certain if I were 30 pounds heavier I'd be a lot nicer to people.

Oh Toni dear, come and sit next to Mama Kat, because I have eclairs, cream puffs, Tiramisu.  What flavor do you want your milkshake in dear?

Quote from: tekla on June 29, 2009, 05:44:51 PM
Oh Toni dear, come and sit next to Mama Kat, because I have eclairs, cream puffs, Tiramisu.  What flavor do you want your milkshake in dear?

Just give her four or five taco salads from Taco Bell. That should get her up five or six pounds by themselves. Or show her the way to Mickey D's for four meals per day for a couple of months. All sorts of great ways to gain weight, no desserts required!

It can be a lot more sexual with deserts.  Smearing a taco or burrito on someone somehow lacks the elegance of doing the same act with a good cream puff.  Truly.

Quote from: tekla on June 29, 2009, 05:53:44 PM
It can be a lot more sexual with deserts.  Smearing a taco or burrito on someone somehow lacks the elegance of doing the same act with a good cream puff.  Truly.

Truthfully, barbecue sauce and ranch are the hottest things that can ever be put on the human body and truly enjoyed in a sexual nature.

There's pretty much no substance that can take on my metabolism.  I even pulled off 3 weeks living off of fried chicken and chili/cheese tots and only had like half an inch covering the bottom part of mah sixpack.

But chyeah.  Fat people who think they're sexy should um... yeah.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> getting the melted cheese and chocolate sauce ready.

O, a fondue-Toni!! :laugh:

Topic: Would You Rather Be Hot And Not Pass, Or Pass And Not Be Hot ? ;-)

Is there such a thing as being 'hot' without passing? that would be hot as in a hot male then?

I'm happy to pass and not be hot thanks!