I've gotten to wondering about the fundamental nature of my gender identity. I identify as a woman and I usually feel like a woman (this is a vague intangible that has nothing to do with feeling feminine). Occasionally I feel like my old self but those moments are fading and I recognize them as artifacts of my last life. But I wonder, am I really a woman? I'm not certain. I know I'm not a man. I've always known that. The binary only allows for two choices. Many feel the binary is an artificial construct. What if MTFs and FTMs aren't really in the binary? Is it possible there is a third gender seperate from the binary? Maybe we all delude ourselves and fail to recognize that we aren't really men and women but something different (a neutral state, good or bad is not implied). And if we're not, what are we? I'm trying to work through this and welcome other thoughts. It all sounds a bit Kate Bornstein but I am not a gender rebel. I tend to feel the binary is the correct answer to gender but that is a personal bias influenced by my upbringing. I don't think there are any right or wrong answers here.
Dawn
First of all, I love your new picture Dawn. You look beautiful. :)
Second, I understand what you're talking about. It's also possible we might feel like a third gender because of our odd upbringing. If we had lived the life of a normal female from the time we were born, would we still feel the same. Sometimes, I feel like my mental adjustment from one gender to another was so easy that it becomes a little unsettling and surreal. Why did I adjust so easily in such a short time, when there are people who have been transitioning for years that are taking much longer to adjust? It makes me question a lot of things. I question myself, because I want to be sure I am making changes that are right for me. So, if it was so easy for me, what was different? Is it because I am IS? Or is there much more down the road in terms of adjustment that I can't see yet? I'm not trying to sound arrogant or anything, it's just questions that go through my head.
I think whether we are female or something else is irrelevant. The point is that we are adjusting to a life that works well for us. For people who don't identify with either gender (or both), the changes they go through will be different than ours. My point is, that our point or origin doesn't really matter as long as we know where our destination is.
Melissa
Our history is part of us. Women who grew up in a male body will have some different thoughts about themselves that genetic women will not have. I would think it's perfectly normal. I'm sure if we had been lost as babies and raised by wolves, then rescued and brought into human society we would understand we were human but still have memories and feelings regarding the past. That wouldn't mean we wern't human or wish we could go back to living with wolves, it's just part of our history.
beth
Eh.
Just because there are two mainstream bodily genders, doesn't mean there is any kind of gender of the mind.
Why do I say this?
The mind is incredibly complicated. We all, male and female, often have to think alike, 2+2=4, not 22. Things like that, we all have to do that to get certain jobs and all of that. I think, "oh I'm a boy was born in a girl's body" is a bunch of bull.
I think you can be born in a body that doesn't suit you, and that people do fit genders. Some of us are more complicated than that though, and won't settle for our birth gender. They call us transsexuals. Some of us want nothing more than to be female, for reasons we can't place. Others of us can see themselves being more expressive, more true from a female form and go through the steps to do such. Just because you're a transsexual doesn't mean you will always fit into the gender you desire, personalyl I'd rather be a humanoid feline than a Homo sapien. You can still feel out of place, because you're only changing your gender, which I think is a relatively small thing to change. So yes, I think you can still be out of place, but perhaps more in place than you were.
So no, you're not really a woman, but you're not really a man either. You're just another human, who's entirely too concerned with gender:-p
Get a latte and listen to some music, I don't know.
Posted on: August 31, 2006, 06:55:11 PM
Quote from: beth on August 31, 2006, 05:53:56 PM
Our history is part of us. Women who grew up in a male body will have some different thoughts about themselves that genetic women will not have. I would think it's perfectly normal. I'm sure if we had been lost as babies and raised by wolves, then rescued and brought into human society we would understand we were human but still have memories and feelings regarding the past. That wouldn't mean we wern't human or wish we could go back to living with wolves, just that is part of our history.
I read a book about a dude like that.
And, wasn't Rome and his brother raised by a wolf?
Born but changed
mind somewhat deranged
I live
I give
I work
I take
I am a drone
in life's beehive
--------------------------
Copyright 2006 Cindi Jones
--------------------------
Cindi, you're weird.
Yes she is - weird and wonderful, and thank goodness! And in fact so is Stephanie.
Susan K
Hmmm, the midnight skulking editor (moderator) has riden by this string and hacked away. You sometimes have to read fast.
Quote from: Annwyn on August 31, 2006, 08:57:03 PM
Cindi, you're weird.
AMEN! and thank you.
I write wierd. In person, I'm quite loveable. ;)
Cindi
You weird queer unnormal humans. Leave this normal straight and absolutely innocent martian alone!
-hisses at you-
Quote from: Annwyn on August 31, 2006, 09:13:42 PM
You weird queer unnormal humans. Leave this normal straight and absolutely innocent martian alone!
-hisses at you-
Now look, we can just use a little Elmer's patch N fill to cover up those green scales. Then we apply a little dermablend.
This brunette wig will be nice, we'll have to use tape since you have no hair on your head to clip it to...
Now, what shall we do with those eyes that blink sideways? Hmmm... .perhpas a hat with a big brim?
We can paint some lips here where humans have them. We'll use a nice bright color to hide that pasty look we created on the rest of your face.
And those feet. No, pumps will not do, since you have three very large toes. Look, we can just put you in a very long skirt so that won't be an issue.
There you go. You look great!
Cindi
Quote from: Cindianna_Jones on August 31, 2006, 09:20:42 PM
Quote from: Annwyn on August 31, 2006, 09:13:42 PM
You weird queer unnormal humans. Leave this normal straight and absolutely innocent martian alone!
-hisses at you-
Now look, we can just use a little Elmer's patch N fill to cover up those green scales. Then we apply a little dermablend.
This brunette wig will be nice, we'll have to use tape since you have no hair on your head to clip it to...
Now, what shall we do with those eyes that blink sideways? Hmmm... .perhpas a hat with a big brim?
We can paint some lips here where humans have them. We'll use a nice bright color to hide that pasty look we created on the rest of your face.
And those feet. No, pumps will not do, since you have three very large toes. Look, we can just put you in a very long skirt so that won't be an issue.
There you go. You look great!
Cindi
WAHAHAHAAA
You transformed me!
:)
Dawn,
First off, I like your new picture, although the gutair was very cool. What you say makes alot of sence. Though I feel male, there are times if only for a moment I think, what am I really? I guess it is due to all the old memories, but also I think if we are faced to look upon our bodies for face value, we are sometimes sold short on ourselves, depending where on is in transition that is.
Marco
I like Dawn's new pic as well. She's pretty cute no?
Cindi
I have been wondering kind of thing a little too. I know I feel male. But I kinda feel male with some feminine traits. I guess I don't think that makes me any less male, though. There are wide variances in the behavior of genetic people of the same sex, and I'm certain we all fall into that spectrum somewhere. If we didn't we would be androgyne, and that probably wouldn't have a strong enough urge to be a cetrain sex to really cause us to transition, I think. Seems like the intensity of the urge should be more than enough to validify your actual gender.
Yeah... Dawn's pic looks great, but I also liked the rock chick pic as well.
I have also pondered her initial question many times....... I consider myself to be a blend of both the best of female traits and good male experiences.
I can never be totally female, but Identify wholly as a woman...... ::) I could never go back to being a guy.
Am I something in bewteen, maybe?, probably?.... But personally I don't care.
I can never deny my past, that effectively shaped the person that I am today and I have memories (good memories) that I only could have experienced as a male.
I am still that same person, I just live a different life than I did before and thats the important thing as it is the life that I wanted.
Rebecca
;D
Yes Buffy, that is the bottom line. I'm a eunuch. But I live my life as a female and that's how people treat me. And that suits me just fine. That's what really counts after all is said and done here.
Cindi
Yeah, a eunuch with breasts. >:D
I'm the same person, just without the false shell I was living in. I sometimes think some of the people in my life loved my shell more than me. :-\
Melissa
You cannot blame them for that Melissa, its the shell that is presented to the world and the realitity within, well that is often hidden very well :(
Was reading about these lizards that are found in North America, there are 3 types of males. Normal one with an orange throat; a hyped & beefed up extra agressive male with a red throat; and another male with a blue throat indistinguishable from a female lizard.
Previously Annwynn mentioned "its all about sex" and is with those lizards a sort of paper rock sissors thing. The normal male orange lizard bosses "his" female lizards about till a beefed up red one appears - they fight for dominance sadly the result is a foregone conclusion. While all this sort of drama is going on - a blue lizard can appear who believes in making love not war.
I would love to look and sound and move as a woman, a graceful smooth body, and with the added bonus of being able to dress elegantly - but underneath it all I dont really wish to stop being a man.
What does this make me- some sort of fraud, or just confused & anxious?? I dunno
Rana
Quote from: Rana on September 01, 2006, 08:45:58 AM
What does this make me- some sort of fraud, or just confused & anxious?? I dunno
YAY!!!
-claps-
Good good, a TS with a reality check and who's not only one because she's failing miserably as a man!
YAY!
Laughs. Annwyn I'll have you know that I can play the role of a man quite well :) its just that I want to express that extra dimension, and I envy the look and role women get to play (well maybe not all aspects. My wife told me that when she reached puberty & was faced with the reality of menstration, she regretted not being a boy)
Geez who am I kidding - I play the role very well, the reality is a different matter - and I know that there are those that can see right through the sham :(
Quote from: Rana on September 01, 2006, 08:45:58 AM
I would love to look and sound and move as a woman, a graceful smooth body, and with the added bonus of being able to dress elegantly - but underneath it all I dont really wish to stop being a man.
What does this make me- some sort of fraud, or just confused & anxious?? I dunno
Fraud? No. It means that you just need to continue being who you are. :)
Melissa
Posted on: September 01, 2006, 08:24:17 AM
Quote from: Rana on September 01, 2006, 09:09:09 AM
Laughs. Annwyn I'll have you know that I can play the role of a man quite well :) its just that I want to express that extra dimension, and I envy the look and role women get to play (well maybe not all aspects. My wife told me that when she reached puberty & was faced with the reality of menstration, she regretted not being a boy)
Geez who am I kidding - I play the role very well, the reality is a different matter - and I know that there are those that can see right through the sham :(
As far as I understand, I think that would make you a crossdresser. Maybe I'm wrong?
Melissa
I think if you went and surveyed a million people, trans and non-trans, gay and straight, from different cultures and upbringings and whatnot, each would have a different view of what a man or woman truly is. Do we know what makes a man or woman? Not necessarily. If you want to bring it down to just anatomy, sure, it's easy to see the distinction. But when there are men like Michael Jackson, and women like Janet Reno (no offense to any of their admirers, but...) I don't think it's really possible to say there's only one way to be male and one way to be female.
In my opinion, it's what you believe you are that makes the difference. Yeah, transgender individuals' upbringing might raise more questions than most, but if what we believe we are is male or female, despite what our physical appearances say to the contrary, that's who we are! If we're in between, we're in between. I don't recall anyone having said it was absolutely necessary to identify strictly as one or the other. I'm FtM, and am pretty darned masculine, despite my anatomy, and my brother, who is all male, is far more feminine than I (and straight, as far as I'm aware). Nobody conforms to the norm... if we all did, the world would be a really boring place.
Rafe
Genitals are only an indicator of our gender. They are not what defines it. Just like the bright feathers on a male peacock are an indicator that it's male, or the mane on a male lion. These are used to help tell the gender, but they are not what makes it male or female.
Melissa
Quote from: Rafe on September 01, 2006, 12:36:43 PM
I think if you went and surveyed a million people, trans and non-trans, gay and straight, from different cultures and upbringings and whatnot, each would have a different view of what a man or woman truly is.
Exactly! It's a fun and educational question to ponder, but ultimately there is no single, definitive answer. There never will be.
In the end, we're left to define it for ourselves - which might be what this whole TSism mess is about: we don't quite fit our own self-definition, and we're struggling to adapt as best we can.
Quote from: Kate on September 01, 2006, 01:06:23 PM
In the end, we're left to define it for ourselves - which might be what this whole TSism mess is about: we don't quite fit our own self-definition, and we're struggling to adapt as best we can.
Or, were trying to figure out exactly what that definition is at the same time we're adapting to it.
Melissa
Quote from: DawnL on August 31, 2006, 05:31:21 PMBut I wonder, am I really a woman? I'm not certain. I know I'm not a man. I've always known that. The binary only allows for two choices.
It's like you read my mind. :o Personally, I often feel "not entitled" to apply the label of "woman" to myself.
Thinking back to my early years, I remember how I saw myself and can picture the girl I should have been. Yet back then I could never admit to that. She got pushed into the background and was never allowed out. She's grown up now, and I think if I had not been given preconceived notions about what I was but rather allowed to define myself on my own, there wouldn't even be an issue now.
(Your picture looks really good, BTW. :) )
Quote from: Melissa on September 01, 2006, 12:42:26 PMGenitals are only an indicator of our gender.
Some people's indicators need recalibrating. :D
I read that transgendered people often hold stricter ideas of male vs. female than non-T people... This issue seems to be a good example. Not that there's anything wrong with it, and I know I do it too, I just thought I'd throw it out there... It seems like an issue taht you can question all your life and never have a definitive answer for, so I guess it's one of those things I try not to worry about. Maybe I'll figure it out on my deathbed at age 135 and die enlightened :)
Quote from: Mikko on September 01, 2006, 02:00:09 PM
Maybe I'll figure it out on my deathbed at age 135 and die enlightened :)
Heh... as with enlightenment, sometimes I think we question the most that which we already know/are - yet don't feel we deserve it somehow...
Quote from: Kate on September 01, 2006, 02:06:34 PM
Quote from: Mikko on September 01, 2006, 02:00:09 PM
Maybe I'll figure it out on my deathbed at age 135 and die enlightened :)
Heh... as with enlightenment, sometimes I think we question the most that which we already know/are - yet don't feel we deserve it somehow...
Huh. Then maybe the reason I don't ponder it quite so much is because I'm the kind of egomaniac who
does feel enititled.
Quote from: Mikko on September 01, 2006, 02:16:36 PM
Huh. Then maybe the reason I don't ponder it quite so much is because I'm the kind of egomaniac who does feel enititled.
Ha ha, me too.
Melissa
Quote from: Melissa on September 01, 2006, 03:11:15 PM
Quote from: Mikko on September 01, 2006, 02:16:36 PM
Huh. Then maybe the reason I don't ponder it quite so much is because I'm the kind of egomaniac who does feel enititled.
Ha ha, me too.
*pout*
You kids got any self-assurance to spare for an insecure, genderless girl?
Sure, and we've been trying to dish it out in spades to you, but it never seems to help. Well, maybe a little.
Melissa
Quote from: Melissa on September 01, 2006, 03:28:18 PM
Sure, and we've been trying to dish it out in spades to you, but it never seems to help. Well, maybe a little.
Oh it helped... much more than a *little* too ;)
Really though, after a few hundred posts of mine, the whole "am I REALLY a woman?" thing just kinda became too exhausting for me. It's not so much that I doubt I'm "really" female, as just deciding that the question is kindofa moot point. Even if I'm "really a man" somehow, it doesn't change the fact that for whatever reason I'm desperate to be female. And satisying THAT definition seems to be more biological or psychological than philosophical for me. I don't know quite what it'll take to do it, but I'm gonna find out ;)
Quote from: Rana on September 01, 2006, 09:09:09 AM
Laughs. Annwyn I'll have you know that I can play the role of a man quite well :) its just that I want to express that extra dimension, and I envy the look and role women get to play (well maybe not all aspects. My wife told me that when she reached puberty & was faced with the reality of menstration, she regretted not being a boy)
Geez who am I kidding - I play the role very well, the reality is a different matter - and I know that there are those that can see right through the sham :(
I'll have you know, there are MANY people who will the male me passing away... simply because I'm such a heartthrob as a boy, and no kidding!
BUT ALAS!
I'll be even more fun as a girl!
Posted on: September 01, 2006, 04:54:10 PM
Quote from: Melissa on September 01, 2006, 12:42:26 PM
Genitals are only an indicator of our gender. They are not what defines it. Just like the bright feathers on a male peacock are an indicator that it's male, or the mane on a male lion. These are used to help tell the gender, but they are not what makes it male or female.
Only MALE lions have manes.
Only MALE peacocks have bright feathers.
Only MALES have penises, and intersexuals. So therefore, maned lion=male lion and male lion=maned lion. just like penis=male and male=penis.
The brain is a whole other issue.
QuoteOnly MALE lions have manes.
Only MALE peacocks have bright feathers.
Only MALES have penises, and intersexuals. So therefore, maned lion=male lion and male lion=maned lion. just like penis=male and male=penis.
The brain is a whole other issue.
Doesn't follow logically for a number of reasons.
Only males and intersex people have penises does not make penis and male equivalent.
And, not all males have penises. In addition to accident, surgical intervention (cancer, eg), there is also androgen insensitivity syndrome, although I don't know whether people with AIS all define as male, female, or some as male and some as female.
The problem is you haven't defined what male is either. Is it hormones? In which case I am male. Is it genetics? In which case I don't know what I am, because I've never had my chromosomes tested. Is it behaviours? Which ones? Clothing?
If your definition is as simplistic as gender = genitals, then yes, your statement that male = penis is simplistically true. Gender is in fact much more complex than that and we are more than our body parts. If there was a universal correlation between genitals and the complex set of behaviours, thoughts, genetics, and hormones, then you could make that statement and it would be correct. But the fact that the people on this site exist and we are not congruent with all of our systems says that it is incorrect. There is not a universal correlation. As you say, the brain is a whole other issue, but the brain is part of your body. Why are you defining people by the visible parts of their bodies and not all of their bodies?
It seems to me that self-identity is the only way to have a workable system. If you feel male, you are male.
Dennis
Quote from: Dennis on September 01, 2006, 04:22:43 PM
QuoteOnly MALE lions have manes.
Only MALE peacocks have bright feathers.
Only MALES have penises, and intersexuals. So therefore, maned lion=male lion and male lion=maned lion. just like penis=male and male=penis.
The brain is a whole other issue.
Doesn't follow logically for a number of reasons.
Only males and intersex people have penises does not make penis and male equivalent.
And, not all males have penises. In addition to accident, surgical intervention (cancer, eg), there is also androgen insensitivity syndrome, although I don't know whether people with AIS all define as male, female, or some as male and some as female.
The problem is you haven't defined what male is either. Is it hormones? In which case I am male. Is it genetics? In which case I don't know what I am, because I've never had my chromosomes tested. Is it behaviours? Which ones? Clothing?
If your definition is as simplistic as gender = genitals, then yes, your statement that male = penis is simplistically true. Gender is in fact much more complex than that and we are more than our body parts. If there was a universal correlation between genitals and the complex set of behaviours, thoughts, genetics, and hormones, then you could make that statement and it would be correct. But the fact that the people on this site exist and we are not congruent with all of our systems says that it is incorrect. There is not a universal correlation. As you say, the brain is a whole other issue, but the brain is part of your body. Why are you defining people by the visible parts of their bodies and not all of their bodies?
It seems to me that self-identity is the only way to have a workable system. If you feel male, you are male.
Dennis
I think Annwyn was referring to physical born sex, not gender. But this also stresses my point. From all outward appearances, the person can appear male, because that's what it indicates, but the brain being a whole other issue may be completely different, which is what defines us.
Melissa
But even physical born sex isn't that simple for a significant minority of people. You can't just factor them out of the equation.
Dennis
I know what you mean Dennis. Again, that stresses my point. They are only indicators.
Quote
indicate
verb (used with object), -cated, -cating.
1. to be a sign of; betoken; evidence; show: His hesitation really indicates his doubt about the venture.
2. to point out or point to; direct attention to: to indicate a place on a map.
3. to show, as by measuring or recording; make known: The thermometer indicates air temperature.
4. to state or express, esp. briefly or in a general way; signal: He indicated his disapproval but did not go into detail.
5. Medicine/Medical. a. (of symptoms) to point out (a particular remedy, treatment, etc.) as suitable or necessary.
b. to show the presence of (a condition, infection, etc.).
In other words, the genitals are a sign that the person is one sex or the other. It doesn't mean they are that. If you have a lump in your breast, it's an indicator that you may have cancer, but that doesn't mean you do. Same thing. Ambiguous genitals just don't indicate one way or the other.
Melissa
Quote from: Annwyn on September 01, 2006, 08:48:34 AM
Good good, a TS with a reality check and who's not only one because she's failing miserably as a man!
I've met many failures for sure. But you won't find one in my closet ;) I've known many who have been very successful in both roles. But in reality, as men, we did fail at something. Otherwise, why did we change ourselves? Why did we give up beautiful families and brilliant careers? Or perhaps, maybe the failure wasn't a failure at all, perhaps it was another step up to another plateau? We are successful because of raw determination. No one can pull us down or keep us from moving forward. Society's success may be a fleeting thing. We grow and learn, we face and conquer challenges. "Success" is such a static thing. Some reach it and die. But the journey, the constant challenge, the winning. That's life my friend.
Cindi
Cindi, I wouldn't measure success by gender but what I have accomplished in my life. I have a very beautiful woman on my side and I have a wonderful family to boot. I'm retired with a home that is paid for and I don't count my monetary success, but I have had a very successful career and the only draw back that I have felt that is I didn't do it with a F on my drivers license. I have transitioned very successful and other people think that I must be doing something wrong as I don't face any discrimination to speak of, no more than when I had a penis. Success is in the eye of the beholder and it could mean a lot of things for different people. Some of us here on Susans are very successful and I include you.
Sheila
Amen Shiela. How can I add to that?
Cindi
I think some TS people are successful because of their dysphoria. Some dysphoric people will fall into alcohol and drugs to ease their pain and others will become chronic overachievers, very successful outwardly but empty on the inside. Two different ways of trying to escape the same demons. I wasn't a miserable failure as a male, I was very successful, but it was all a lie and I always knew that. I simply couldn't believe that other people never saw it. My transition was shocking because no one saw it coming and no one had any inkling of how I felt inside. I think this makes the dysphoria all that more unbelievable to others. Successful people still transition, still risk everything simply because the effort needed to maintain that enormous lie becomes too much. Real men don't have to work too hard at being men. A woman passing herself off most as male most of her life has to work incredibly hard to maintain the illusion. I never used to put much stock in the "woman trapped in a man's body" theory but I do now.
Dawn
Well said Dawn.
Yea... Dawn has incredible insight does she not? Very nicely put.
Cindi
Quote from: DawnL on September 01, 2006, 08:43:56 PM
I think some TS people are successful because of their dysphoria. Some dysphoric people will fall into alcohol and drugs to ease their pain and others will become chronic overachievers, very successful outwardly but empty on the inside. Two different ways of trying to escape the same demons. I wasn't a miserable failure as a male, I was very successful, but it was all a lie and I always knew that. I simply couldn't believe that other people never saw it. My transition was shocking because no one saw it coming and no one had any inkling of how I felt inside. I think this makes the dysphoria all that more unbelievable to others. Successful people still transition, still risk everything simply because the effort needed to maintain that enormous lie becomes too much. Real men don't have to work too hard at being men. A woman passing herself off most as male most of her life has to work incredibly hard to maintain the illusion. I never used to put much stock in the "woman trapped in a man's body" theory but I do now.
Dawn
You have summed up my life
Buffy
Some dysphoric people fall into fantasy as well. Living a different life though games or whatnot.
*shrug* That I did, and I certainly never have become an overachiever, to my dismay :P
Overachiever here, and proud of it. And no, transitioning will not pave the way for further success for me. In my mind, I am successful because I do what I want, when I want, and don't worry about superficial things such as what other people will think of my actions. This, of course, is not to say that I don't care about others' feelings; of course that's not the case. If I could, I'd make a point of it to allow every person on earth to live his/her own dreams.
That said, I wasn't a failure at being female. Of course, I'm not quite certain what the definition of being female is. Did I look pretty and whatnot with a skirt and blouse? Sure. But I felt awful in that get-up. Did I attract men, and even date many? Yeah. Sad to say, but I did. It was all to cover up for the fact I knew I was different, but I did it. I've even dated quite a few guys who I would say were my ideals... not as boyfriends, but as men I'd like to be. I excelled in school, which I could just have easily done as a man, made good friends, worked decent jobs, and even fell in love with a couple amazing women who to this day I swear loved me back.
So being male, as I know I truly am, doesn't mean that things will improve. In fact, I may even suffer some shortcomings from the fact I will be, externally, a man... no more people opening doors for me, nobody picking up the tab after a dinner date, no free taxi rides... but I figure it's about the same. Ambition is ambition, and while having to stumble through my first 24 years as a female hindered me slightly due to the uncomfortableness of it all, I overcame it. It's no different with my being TS. There's nothing wrong with being female. I love women; I'm almost to the point of worshipping them. But I'm not one. That I know quite well. My ambition, my striving to overachieve, will remain, as always, regardless of transition.
Anyone who says otherwise just doesn't understand what it's like to know themself.
Rafe
While I fell into drugs while an adolescent I didn't keep it up and I think I'm a classic underachiever. People who achieve are noticed and I wanted to remain anonymous - still do as a matter of fact - even though I like to be acknowledged for my accomplishments I find myself holding back in order to remain "safe."
I don't think I was a failure as a man, I just think I never let myself succeed as much as I think I could have had I been comfortable with who I am.
helen
Quote from: DawnL on September 01, 2006, 08:43:56 PM
Successful people still transition, still risk everything simply because the effort needed to maintain that enormous lie becomes too much. Real men don't have to work too hard at being men. A woman passing herself off most as male most of her life has to work incredibly hard to maintain the illusion. I never used to put much stock in the "woman trapped in a man's body" theory but I do now.
Dawn
The transsexual always transitions; otherwise she loses the battle and perishes. I'm happy as a woman. Could never be a man. I don't change this life for anything.