I'm in the rather unique situation of having never passed (except from a distance) even when I was young. Soon I may suddenly look androgynous or even pass due to T. I'm unsure if I can change the gender marker on my DL after surgery and definitely not before.
Should I carry something around as an explanation? Like my hormone and surgery letters?
I got a carry letter from my therapist, but I can honestly say I never used it. I probably have it hanging around somewhere if you're interested in the text.
I talked to my therapist about a carrying letter because I travel a lot and would need my DL and Passport (planned international travel) to get onto flights. He said he could write a carrying letter to explain the situation if needed, then I could just show it to people who think I look nothing like my ID or thought the gender marker was wrong. This way I could travel during that in between period. If you are traveling I would definitely look into it.
Myles
Really if your doctor or therapist is willing to write you one you have nothing to loose. You never know when one might come in handy.
-={LR}=-
I have a carry letter that I have in my purse, but I have only shown it once. And that was to my HR manager when I went to full time, but I still carry it in case of emergency.
Janet
I got one and I never used it. But I have heard of people using it. I don't know if it really carries any legal weight, although, in terms of ID (I guess it depends on where you live).
--natalie
Hi Nero
Hope all is well and the muscles are building, remember there has to be a WWWWFTM wrestling match between you and Dennis :-*
I thought the idea of ID was to prove that the holder was in fact the person identified. In Australia a Justice of the Peace or an equivalent can sign a binding letter saying Nero is Nero no matter what. I think you may need a pic or something to demonstrate this. It does happen more to girls than boys when custom people or police say is this you? If you had long blonde hair on the ID and now present as purple with glasses, go figure.
Nero, You just need to smile, and say "I'm Arnold on E" :laugh: :laugh:
Sorry don't mean this in anyway rudely or insensitive.
But some people are?
Thinking with a glass of wine, we need a lawyers opinion.
Stage left to Dennis?
Lol Bro
You are the first brother I had.
And you are very special to me
loL
An emotional CJ
It might be useful in a few situations where you don't need a very specific letter (like with a new doctor, or at a school), but I've always felt that having something I have with me at all times wouldn't do much good. If someone is intent on mistreating you because they are reading you wrong, a letter probably isn't going to stop them. But you might feel more confident knowing you have the letter, and confidence helps you pass :)
I know in my state, which is pretty liberal, all it takes to change a gender marker on a drivers license is a letter from the therapist stating you are living full-time, and your identification should reflect the correct gender. I'm sure there's more than that too, but that's the general idea.
My endoc forced one on me even though I said I had no use for it. better safe than sorry I think is what she was thinking. I stuck it in my purse and forgot about it for a long time until I found it and threw it away.
I have a carry letter. A copy of it stays with me but I have never once used it. The one time I used it was before I got it. Good thing to have, I guess. It helped give me confidence because it gave me somewhat of a "safety net." Other than that, I did not find any use for it.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Nero,
I changed all my details before my surgerys and starting T.
I would change them now if I were you, as the T should be hopefully kicking in soon and the surgery will help passing a lot more.
Jay
I have one too but I stopped carrying it when I got my full transition done. Now, the letter refers to my old name and has details that is irrelevant. I never used it and it got dog eared in my purse. It did give me some sense of protection in public when I had it.
Maggie
My therapist offered to write me one for using public restrooms, but I wasn't sure if it would do any good if some authority wanted to get snooty about it. After reading this thread though I'm thinking it might be a good idea to have one, just in case. Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. (did that even make sense? lol)
I used it only once, like Janet, when I showed it to my boss and this led directly to my transition to full time, name and ID change, the works. It was the best move I ever made.
But I'd been too timid to speak up about it. My hand was forced when I was reported to have been seen in a women's room on a different floor in the building where I worked. I had decided a month before that I would never set foot in a men's room again. My boss was informed of this incident by building security, and when he asked me about it, I handed him the letter, and next thing I knew, management was pushing me to transition ASAP. They were very supportive, and what a tremendous relief it was!
I have been using women's rooms for the past 4 years. When wearing a skirt and heels and makeup I have never had the least problem, and these days I pass well. But the time I got clocked at work, it was because I was wearing pants and minimal makeup.
Now practically every trans woman will tell you that in order to pass you should avoid skirts and makeup, just wear pants. For me, I found the contrary to be true. Maybe it helps others to dress down and not appear feminine, I don't know. But in my case, my inherent preference for femininity is also what allows me to pass and live my life full time. Outside of work, I've always gone "high femme," it was just that I wasn't out yet at work, even though I'd promised myself never to set foot in a men's room again. After one month of using the women's room every day at work, I got clocked and reported.
So that was the only time I needed the letter, and it served its purpose. Now the therapist who wrote it is retired, and there's no more need for the letter. My driver's license has that sweet, sweet F, which is way better.
I thought of one thing just now relating to the carry letter's importance. The Bathroom Bills being debated are raising the issue of trans people using the bathroom. Some in the RR are comparing us to pedophiles and rapists using the condition as cover to use the women's restroom. A carry letter from a health professional may help blunt the idea that some sort of untoward purpose is happening when we use the facilities. It is so sick that we have this situation but consider the source.
Never had one. Never had a need for one.
i sort of have one, but so far have never needed it, even at work after the few perverted guys reported me for using the ladies. i knew it had to be guys cuz i or management had talked to every one of the other gals and not one of them said they had a problem with it. i would get one just in case.
and for you folks that don't know, Nero also lives in this crappy state of Ohio, and can't change any of his documents to say male until srs is complete, especially on DL, which a therapist or docs letter stating you are on hrt for this irreversible process should be enuff, but the "Christians of Ohio" don't see it that way.
Oh I did have one from Dr Curtis stating my transition and to request all my gender marks to be changed to Male. I only sent it to the Passport office and DVLA and they both where accepted and fully changed no questions asked! ;D
But again never needed to carry it around with me!
Jay
I to keep a letter in my purse "just in case" and like a few others have only had to show the bathroom police once in a freeqin mall of all places, the coolest part is my letter is totaly bogus "nothing official" I wrote it and signed it, all it says is that I am being treated for a diagnoised gender disorder and that the person presenting the letter should be afforded the same courties as any other female. The one time I used it the mall cop appoligized, tipped his hat and said have a good day ma'am, that was it
Quote from: The Only Warrior Princess Mekayla on May 05, 2009, 01:20:53 PMin this crappy state of Ohio, and can't change any of his documents to say male until srs is complete, especially on DL, which a therapist or docs letter stating you are on hrt for this irreversible process should be enuff, but the "Christians of Ohio" don't see it that way.
That doesn't even make sense! If you're living full time, how is it of any benefit to anyone to have misleading (at best) information on an ID card?
I always heard the Columbus area was a pretty trans-friendly place, I guess not so much everywhere else in the state...
If you can get one for free and without much of a hassle I would get.
Myles
I carried one from my therapist early on about the time I started using the F restrooms. It was more of a security blanket for me in case someone complained. Now that the name is changed, a F on my DL and all med cards and such show Wendy, I relegated it to an inside pocket in my purse pretty much forgotten. Hugs
Wendy
Quote from: MGKelly on May 05, 2009, 10:13:03 PM
That doesn't even make sense! If you're living full time, how is it of any benefit to anyone to have misleading (at best) information on an ID card?
I always heard the Columbus area was a pretty trans-friendly place, I guess not so much everywhere else in the state...
they don't understand the term mis leading anywhere in ohio, that includes trans friendly Columbus. i had a friend check into it for me, and they won't change sex markers on your dl until you have had surgery. top surgery is good enuff for the guys but the girls MUST have everything done, even tho they still will NOT change your birth certficate. he said his therapist was working with the bmv to change this because it was their policy, not the state's.