I've been thinking, and I think I might not really want to change my name. I mean, I like Asher and all but, my birth name isn't really that bad, and it sure would be a lot easier, avoiding confrontation with parents for a lot longer, and saving myself like what is it now, $400? I guess I'm just starting to like my name. The only hangup I'd have is that it's kindof feminine, [Samira] at least by my reckoning. I don't know for sure since very few people know my birth name. And I know a bio-guy named Sasha, makes me feel better about it. Eh. I just can't tell if I'm just trying to take the easy way out or actually am doubting the idea. Has anyone else gone through this?
Some years ago, before I'd realised that I needed to transition, I legally changed my name from my birth name to a shortened, gender-neutral form. When I started transitioning, I have no plans to change my name again; however, once I started passing more often I realised that I wanted a name that was unequivocably male, not one that was gender neutral (and, in the culture in which I live, would generally be more likely to be female) and so I changed it to my current name. I'm really happy I did that now, it was definitely the right choice for me.
However, there's no need to rush into anything. You're still young, and can always change your name later if you decide you want to. If you're happy with your name as it is now, stick with it - and then change it at a later date if you decide you'd rather. At the end of the day, it's your name, and only you can decide what's right for you.
:)
Even though Sasha is unisex I've known more guys with the name than girls (especially in Europe). My first name is unisex and is even the guy's spelling for it so I believe I'll keep it. It'll be easier since me and everybody else is used to it- and I won't have to change my personalized stuff (see: lazy). I'm definitely going to change my middle name. Marie will not fly. I'll revert to my maiden surname too.
If you wanted to avoid changing your name legally for now, you could always just go by a shortened version of it. You have a name that could be shortened for passing purposes very easily, and in doing that you'd avoid the paperwork and the parental problem :).
Either way you go - names are something that's easily undone, it just gets expensive!
Radar - I feel your pain, middle name buddy!
If my name were unisex, even if more female than male (I know men named Kimberly and Shirley, for example, as well as guys named Ashley, which used to be a male name before it became popular for girls) I would consider keeping it and maybe just using a nickname.
My name was decidedly female and one I never liked, ever, so I had no qualms about changing it to its male form.
Jay
Quote from: Teknoir on May 11, 2009, 08:25:48 PMRadar - I feel your pain, middle name buddy!
I have
always hated my middle name because it was super feminine. :-\ I'll enjoy changing this one. :D
Yeah my middle name was also Marie I will be so glad when it's gone.
Myles formerly- Michelle Marie
I kept trying to drop it without a legal name change since I was a kid. Always hated it, and it's such a cliche to boot.
I'm tempted to change it to something that involves the words "drop" and "table" just to offset the several hundred dollar cost >:-) (about $300 where I am, from what I know). A guy's gotta get some bang for his buck ;).
In the place where I live (Italy) you can't change legally your name until you arrive till the end of transition, or better until you do the hysterectomy :(
Also, almost every italian name is or masculine or feminine, we don't have gender neutral name.
So, well, I can't continue using my feminine name in the future when I'll start transition...and also, I don't like the masculine version of my old name, so I did choose a very different name :P
Dude, your name is Samira? It's a cool name and if you have doubts about it, just drop the A and go by Samir.
My name is Lindsey and I'm planning on keeping it after transition, if that comforts you any. Guys don't need to have very manly names. :)
Quote from: Hector on May 12, 2009, 02:42:41 AM
In the place where I live (Italy) you can't change legally your name until you arrive till the end of transition, or better until you do the hysterectomy :(
Wow, this is fascinating! What if you just hate your name--you can't change it?
I would drop the A aswell to be honest.
I also know a bio male called Sasha!
Jay
Quote from: Arch on May 12, 2009, 02:50:06 AM
Wow, this is fascinating! What if you just hate your name--you can't change it?
You can change only if it's insulting or ridicolous... For example, if your name is Rosa Culetto (in italian means Pink Ass, but also Rosa is a female name) or similar :P
Or, also, you can change if you change sex, but only after you go twice in front of a judge that tells you first that you can have decostructing surgery (hysterectomy or ochiectomy) and after he tells that is ok for you to change your sex mark and also your name over all your documents.
So, I think that the response to your question is no. If you hate your name you can ask to your friend to call you with another...but on your ID there is still your original name. My former bf used to do this, because I hated his first name.
@Asher: Samir is nice! If you like, go for it :)
Samir is a cool name, or you could also go by Sam if you felt like it. Samir is uncommon enough that you won't hear it everywhere, and still very much known as a guy name.
Amusing name related story - I am a Kris, I went out with a Chris, and for a while we lived with his mother, also named Chris. Getting a phone call in that house was interesting. Conference calls were just outright silly (Monty Python Australian Bruce sketch level of silly) :laugh:.
I couldn't keep my "girl" name even though Kelly is unisex and I didn't have a girlier spelling (like Kellie). I associated it with my femininity as did everyone else in my life. It was proving impossible for my parents to switch pronouns without switching names.
But if yours works out for you, then go for it. Everyone's situation is different.
Quote from: Kayden on May 12, 2009, 07:42:06 PM
I associated it with my femininity as did everyone else in my life. It was proving impossible for my parents to switch pronouns without switching names.
I feel the same about my birth name...I really like the name but I have never identified with it. Sometimes a name change can be cleansing. I feel like if I kept the name (or even just switched to a masculine version of it) I would still be tied to my assigned sex.
One of my sons friends name is Samir, I think its a very cool name.
Myles
Sounds to me like you really don't have a pressing need to change it now Samir. And really you can always decide to change it later on.
An alternative is just to shorten it to Sam.
Ditto. Samir sounds awesome.
SilverFang
You know, I don't think most Americans would automatically assume that Samira is a female name anyway. If you like it, keep it. Plus, you're really young. You've got a lot of time to make that decision. I think it's a pretty awesome name, by the way.
...my middle name is Marie too! I'm always surprised by how common it actually is...
It was like he had two families. The first time I was introduced to all of them at once, it was crazy. Paulie and his brothers had lots of sons and nephews. And almost all of them were named Peter or Paul. It was unbelievable. There must have been two dozen Peters and Pauls at the wedding. Plus, they were all married to girls named Marie. And they named all their daughters Marie. By the time I finished meeting everybody, I thought I was drunk.
Goodfellas
I think Samir is a very good name. Or Sam, if you prefer.