Have any of you moved to another city/state/province to transition, knowing that it could be easier to have a clean slate and to be away from the people/family that could have an adverse effect on your progress?
How did you do it? I would like to move to Montreal or Toronto, they are very liberal cities with everything I could ever need, but I have no one, zero resources there. Moving away is just more bureaucracy and expenses, and we transpeople really don't need anymore of that in my opinion. I don't don't want it to slow me down, but it could have its perks.
Chrissi
I would like to move to a more trans friendly area. But until I am able to do so, I'm pretty well stuck where I am :P I am hoping to save up some money and make some good contacts before I move
Where are you?
A little research might show that your town is more friendly than your first impressions might suggest.
In the US, college towns in general are more liberal.
Large urban cities have at a minimum more services available.
Best of luck to ya'.
Mich'
It really does depend what your motives for moving are and if you have the means to do this.
I changed city, country and continent so it was a somewhat extreme move.
Buffy
I'm in Edmonton, Canada. It's alright, but I know there's something more for me out there.
Chrissi
No-one should have to move anywhere and start over.
If society wasn't so full of intollerant, ingnorant schlubs, we wouldn't feel the need to cut all ties and start over.
RAAAAAAGE!
I've thought about moving AFTER my transition. I think that after a legal name change, top surgery, and HRT it might be easiest to start fresh someplace more accepting..like San Fran. I guess this is the stealth approach or something close to it. I just don't want to be tied down with my old gender and identity. I want to become me!
I moved to go full time and to hit up med school.
The only thing I think I messed up on was paper work. I'd suggest getting your name change done before you move.
Quote from: Icephoenyx on May 14, 2009, 04:53:36 PM
I'm in Edmonton, Canada. It's alright, but I know there's something more for me out there.
Chrissi
Chrissi, Edmonton, now I understand the Ice in Icephoenyx.
Yeah hon' goto Toronto. Or better yet, IMO, Vancouver. Been to both cities...loved both... but BC's weather would seal that deal for this Florida gal.
Move to Calgary \o/
Go Flames??? oo nm
since this is where I live and I would imagine are the same in many ways can I ask what experiences you had in Edmonton to make you wanna move else where?
Caylea
Quote from: Christian on May 15, 2009, 02:01:57 AM
I've thought about moving AFTER my transition. I think that after a legal name change, top surgery, and HRT it might be easiest to start fresh someplace more accepting..like San Fran. I guess this is the stealth approach or something close to it. I just don't want to be tied down with my old gender and identity. I want to become me!
Christian i feel the same way, but i do have a good support system in my mother. but she's 75 and when she's gone well...........that's a little too much tothink about right now
Yeah, I moved to re-invent myself. I was in northern New England and moved to the Caribbean. I developed a chronic disease and decided it was now or never. I had experience working and vacationing in the Caribbean and needed the endless summer for my head and health
I'm more androgyne than M-F but it's a place I feel comfortable. I found a fulltime job doing property management. I present myself in a feminine manner and rarely have an issue with people, dark or light. I think for me it was liberating and life changing and seemed much easier than dealing with people who knew me the other way.
I call my new home, " the land of broken toys".
i tried moving away to start over, i had an idea in my head that one day i would return after transition and all would be magicaly wonderfull but while i was away i realised how much i missed my friends and my life back home, moving away didn't solve any problems i had, it just left me on my own with the people who meant the most to me hundreds of miles away.
bottom line is do it for the right reasons, your problems will still be there when u get there but it is such a liberating feeling getting the chance to start a new life and it may well work out for you, good luck!!
Quote from: CayForever on May 15, 2009, 09:11:18 AM
Move to Calgary \o/
Go Flames??? oo nm
since this is where I live and I would imagine are the same in many ways can I ask what experiences you had in Edmonton to make you wanna move else where?
Caylea
Lol I'm not into hockey, so I don't believe in that Flames-Oilers stuff...!!!
I don't really know anyone who lives in Edmonton that likes it. Especially with the Gov'ts recent decision to delist SRS from health care, I really feel like I'm in enemy territory, you know? C'mon you have to know as a fellow Albertan that we have a rep for rednecks.
I would love to go to somewhere else, but the problem is, there's nowhere to go really. I want to stay in Canada, but Vancouver and Toronto are way too expensive and gross and poluted, and I won't get far in Montreal as an anglophone, so I'm a bit stuck....
Chrissi
im moving as well for medical school and see more the the states. plus my family is super crazy so have to get away from all that stuff
I definitely concur with getting the legal name change out of the way before moving. That way, it would be a lot easier to bury your old identity where you are currently living.
I live in the States, so I am not as familiar with Canada as I'd like to be. Still, in response to your question, often times the only way -- and certainly the simplest -- way to start over is to move to a new area where (hopefully) you won't cross paths with someone from your past.
Quote from: Christian on May 15, 2009, 02:01:57 AM
I've thought about moving AFTER my transition. I think that after a legal name change, top surgery, and HRT it might be easiest to start fresh someplace more accepting..like San Fran. I guess this is the stealth approach or something close to it. I just don't want to be tied down with my old gender and identity. I want to become me!
San Francisco- the easiest city to transition; the hardest to pass.
Moving.....hmmmm.
Ive just started down this path, 7 months spiro and 1 month and a bit low dose of E and everyone Ive informed has not treated me any different... cept 1, soo I am really not sure what to expect....rednecks yes there are some but calgary has grown with a lot of people from down east....and maybe I am just errr....to early in my transition to relise what lies ahead.
friday night was the support group meeting, I could not find the damn building..so I missed the meeting...thats been my only real problem so far, I was very excited to go.
Next meeting I wont miss because I will get really good directions...lol....lived here all my life...hehe:)
but had plans to goto a pub after the meeting ....so I got there early.....had fun and its been a while ....felt good, so wasnt a totally wasted night.
Caylea
I got to know other TS people first via the internet/telephone. I determined if they were stable, then I learned what jobs they had, and asked for their help in getting a job. I also determine where it would be safe to live. Essentially I made sure that the online friend could help me springboard into my new life. Once I found someone who met all those conditions and was willing to help me, only THEN did I move there - that way I had as much support as I could before I went.
I still ended up with some crazy people.
Changed continents, gave away family, except for phone calls
yeah the name change before hand maks it so much better. and well florida is an ok place to live if you are LBGT. Orlando or more to the south. im in the Orange Park/Jacksonville FL area and its pritty good now plus we have alot of schools (college level close by so you can get a degree in alot of areas )
moving away after transition and I get done with the RN program here, is my plan. Then start over, I wouldn't recommend moving away TO start over prior to transition.
Quote from: Audrey on May 18, 2009, 01:23:14 PM
moving away after transition and I get done with the RN program here, is my plan. Then start over, I wouldn't recommend moving away TO start over prior to transition.
your becoming a RN. how far are you in your program if you dont mind me asking? i think your gunna love it. im a Paramedic and RN in florida now and its great. just look out for the sweets people bring in to feed you all the time or you'll pack on the pounds really fast.
oh nice. Im done with my prerequisites and am applying this fall for our two year RN program. I have almost three years exp as a CNA so I feel good that Ill make it in.
I guess you can't run from biggots, regardless of where you live. I have alot of supportive friends and resources here, so maybe moving after transition makes the most sense right now. It spreads my worries out a little bit. Thanks everyone!
Quote from: Mister on May 17, 2009, 09:14:04 PM
San Francisco- the easiest city to transition; the hardest to pass.
That's the way I feel.
In some sections of Boston, like Jamaica Plains, they are very tolerant.
On the flip side, they look at any stranger to decide whether they are L, G, B or T.
They've got to be something besides just straight!
Go to West Nowhere in America where they haven't even heard of transsexual and you'll pass just fine.
Quote from: Audrey on May 19, 2009, 02:01:22 PM
oh nice. Im done with my prerequisites and am applying this fall for our two year RN program. I have almost three years exp as a CNA so I feel good that Ill make it in.
yeah if your GPA and NET scores are good you'll make it in no problem. I would recommend starting on learning your drug cards and cardiac algorithms now. thats what really hurts most people in nursing school. with you already having CNA experience i bet your going to make a great RN
Quote from: Renate on May 22, 2009, 08:02:36 AM
That's the way I feel.
In some sections of Boston, like Jamaica Plains, they are very tolerant.
On the flip side, they look at any stranger to decide whether they are L, G, B or T.
They've got to be something besides just straight!
Go to West Nowhere in America where they haven't even heard of transsexual and you'll pass just fine.
I pass fine in SF, but it's really discouraging for a lot of people who are new to the area & transition.
I thought I might have to move, but now I'm glad I stayed. I live in a smallish town where I can't leave the house without seeing someone who recognizes me. It was a little bumpy for the first couple of days, but now I'm perfectly comfortable. All my friends are here, plus my counselor and doctor. A whole bunch of people in town know I used to present male and now present female, but many of them also know I am an OK person and accept me. This is a lonely enough process without trying to do it without support. I can't imagine isolating myself and then trying to do this. :P
Maybe it's like removing a bandage - do you do it a little at a time or just rip it off? ;)
- Kate
I would love to move away. Start over again.
But here in England our funding is given to us by our PCT and where I live has one of the best PCT's anywhere in England so instead of waiting a couple of years I have to wait 5 to 10 years.
So at the moment it is not an option.
After bottom surgery is complete then yes definitely.
Jay
Quote from: K8 on May 24, 2009, 05:34:59 PM
I thought I might have to move, but now I'm glad I stayed. I live in a smallish town where I can't leave the house without seeing someone who recognizes me. It was a little bumpy for the first couple of days, but now I'm perfectly comfortable. All my friends are here, plus my counselor and doctor. A whole bunch of people in town know I used to present male and now present female, but many of them also know I am an OK person and accept me. This is a lonely enough process without trying to do it without support. I can't imagine isolating myself and then trying to do this. :P
- Kate
I agree Kate, I guess all you need is a few good friends and a close proximity to resources to be fine. It may not be the best place, but for now, in the early stages of transition, it works!
Quote from: Renate on May 22, 2009, 08:02:36 AM
Go to West Nowhere in America where they haven't even heard of transsexual and you'll pass just fine.
I agree somewhat with that, Renate. I don't live west like you. I imagine WVA is very tolerant, as in they don't see what they don't expect to see.
I live on MD's eastern shore, and most people here don't expect to see much out of the ordinary. The east coast is probably better than the west......I can go anywhere in Baltimore, Wash DC, Annapolis, etc, and am never clocked. I think, though, that it might be more likely in San Francisco.
I didn't stay here because of that; it just worked out that way for my set of circumstances.
Bev
I don't think you even actually have to go too far for a fresh start--I'm half an hour away and I still got my clean slate. It would've been fun to do something drastic, but I think I got what I needed for now.
Also, I love in Maryland too Miss Bev, and definitely agree. It's a great place to transition. The DC area especially has a lot of great transgender and LGBT resources. Baltimore does too, although not quite as expansive. I've never actually heard much about the LGBT community in Annapolis though, but that's probably just because I haven't done the research.