Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Good Evening,

I was watching a Britians Got Talent tonight and I commented on a woman who looked like she was a size 0 and said "she needs a KFC" and my sister (who is a twig and I am convinced she has an eating disorder herself) said that I only notice it because I am overweight. I said "No, there are plenty of people who notice when people are too skinny.

I just wanted to see what your views are on it.

Please don't turn this into an argument it is purely just to get different peoples views.

Jay

I think people have a right to be as skinny as they want to be. But yeah, I notice people who look cadaverous, bones all sticking out, faces sunken. There is likely a point where it is simply unhealthy, but I don't really know where that point is and it is probably different for everyone. Usually you can tell if someone looks healthy, so I guess that is the point where skinny is bad. Being skinny in itself is no reason to panic. I don't pay much attention if the person looks healthy.

Perhaps I am lying to myself, I do notice but I don't think I take too much notice.

My inlaws seem obsessed with food. My mother-in-law (mil) can't resist trying to stuff as much food into my daughter as possible. If you leave any food lying about she will try to get my daughter to eat it no matter what condition it is in. If I invite them for tea, my mil will watch my daughter like a hawk, everything that goes into her mouth, as soon as she drops something (she is only 2) the mil is there trying to pick it up and stuff it into my daughters mouth with her dirty fingers. I hate it. I seat my daughter away from them with me inbetween, I try not to give her anything to eat when the mil is round. Fortunately becky is pretty willful and does not put up with much crap, but the mil compulsively trys anyway. I want to get along with my inlaws, but they make it so hard :(

I'm rather thin, always have been. Even when I tried to "bulk up" by working out with weights all I did was get more toned. I've never had anything you could call a chest until I started growing my boobs out. Hurray! Finally got results from something  :laugh:

But I agree, there is a point were people get too obsessed with being thin and look to be a health risk to themselves  :P When someone is so skinny that they are sickly looking, you know something's wrong

I know lots of people who express their negative image of their own badies by criticizing others. When you say, "she needs KFC," it echoes a lot of comments I've heard before, and I suspect a certain lack of honesty in the sentiment -- do you really mean she should overcome her anorexia by eating terrible food that can never satisfy her nutritional needs, doesn't taste very good, and will eventually lead her to an early death from heart disease? I hope not, but I often sense that kind of envy and lack of genuine concern when I hear people say things like that. By the way, I've heard the kind of statement I'm talking about from skinny and fat people alike. (And certainly sometimes it's not based on envy, but on real shock and concerned about someone who is obviously unhealthily thin -- I don't mean to accuse you, Jay, just to bring up something I've noticed about this topic.)

Like Nicky, I notice when people look unhealthy, whether overweight, onderweight, or just plain sick. My own body image, very much complicated by GID, is not related to my weight, by my health and my ability to fit in among women.

Alyssa, when I say she needs a KFC. Its a joke, that alot of women say at work which I have picked up. Yes its not funny equally for reasons you have explained.

I do not held envy for them in the slightest. There is no way I would want to look that thin I was sick. Yeah I could drop about 30 pounds and I still wouldn't be skinny, I would be right for me.

Like you said this topic isn't just about "skinny people" its about body types and proving my sister wrong of course.

I am a man I like to be right.

Jay

Being healthy is more moderation an thoughtful behavior. Then you die of some government approved food additive.

I got a kick out of the KFC joke  :laugh: >:-) :laugh:

I am slim myself and some of my friends keep telling me I need more 'meat' on my bones.  But I like being slim, size 6, and only which to put weight on in key areas.  Back side, hips, and boobs.

My metabolism is rather on the high side.  I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight.

Janet

I definitely notice when people are skinnier than they probably 'should' be, health-wise.  And I'm thin, myself.  But I do have a slightly different background that could explain why I notice it.

I've always been small.  But when I was a kid, I was underweight.  And my bone structure is already below average, so I looked really bony and my family always kept trying to make me eat more, even when I was full.  And in my city, most of the people are overweight and the prevailing opinion is that 'real women have real curves.'  So I wound up being very self-conscious of my weight, trying to eat the highest-calorie foods I could find.

Anyway, I'm an average weight now and quite happy with it.  But I still have this weird 'awareness' of when a girl is skinnier than me.  It makes me notice, because I'm not used to it.  My mind's automatic thought is that no one 'should' be smaller than me because I'm already 'too small.'

I'm not one to say everyone who's skinny is unhealthy, because I know from experience that isn't true.  And it makes me feel bad about myself when people automatically think thin is unhealthy, or that all thin people are hungry and need to 'eat more.'  I've had those words directed at me too often, and sometimes, someone can indeed be a healthy size 0.  But I have definitely seen girls who are obviously too skinny, with absolutely no softness, all boniness.  There is a marked difference between healthy thin and scary thin.  And it makes me feel sad.  I don't know why anyone would want to look that way, when I spent my adolescence wishing I didn't.

That turned into a missive. :P Sorries.  You tell your sister there's a girl out there who's never in her life been overweight, who notices skinny people. :P

A lot of the time when people around me comment on how thin someone is, I'm usually the one to reply with "they're not that thin"

I tend to think most people could be thinner, I notice fat on people that are perceived by others as skin and bones, not necessarily in a bad way like I think everyone who isn't anorexic looking is a whale who needs to lose some weight....just that I notice it.

The more I write the less sense I make :P

In the UK and USA far more people are overweight than underweight.

I myself am slim, or was anyway I'm gaining a bit but it's ok! I'm told I look healthier now at 170lbs then i did at 140lbs.  None the less I wish I didn't have freakin' handles above my hips, however small and unnoticeable under clothing.

I notice all to well when people are too thin, and I agree they need KFC!  I would love to force feed some of 'em lol.  To each their own I guess, but it's certainly not attractive.

I notice when someone is severely underweight just as much as those severely over. Most of my life people thought I was under. I wasn't but they thought I was because of how slim I was. I was healthy though. I wish I was that slim again now.

The thing about underweight people...

My mother's underweight, she has a glandular problem meaning her metabolism works overtime and her body has a hard time holding onto weight. She has to pace herself during the holidays because even if she (like everyone else) eats twice as much in December as she eats most other months, she can still walk away from the holiday a kilo or two lighter. AND! Saying you "wish" you'd have the problem is not cool.
Being dangerously underweight and unable to put on weight is Definitely Not a good thing to be.
_

Then there's the fact that many models who are underweight are also walking around with a dangerously high body fat percentage.
This is because they loose weight through purposely starving themselves and doing excessive cardio workout for the most part. That high body fat percentage is a testament to the unhealthyness of their lifestyle.
_

Then there are those who are walking skeletons.
Looking like heroine addicts.
Bones sticking out all over the place.
Poster-child for the anorexics.

It's scary that there are even people out there that are willing to say that women, and men, who look that way, look good. What's good about it?

It's one of those statistical anomalies: what's normal? Weight like most body measurements cover a Gaussian distribution. A lot of people will fit around the mean, but because you are at the the upper 75 perctnile or lower 25 percentile doesn't mean you are not normal.
I'm 5" 8', weigh 57 kilos, very low for a male, and low for a female my size. I reached that weight at 18 yrs old. It has gone up a few kios at time. But generally I maintain it. I go to the gym three- four times a week and do a cardio wotk out. I look after my diet. I would never buy a KFC, I would also never do crack, or cigarettes. All are addictive. All kill before expected life times (I'll add if abused for KFC; sorry Colonel).
I've posted this before somewhere. In my local shopping mall there is a McDonald's next to a health yogurt shop. The people in the two queues are totally opposite in body mass. Guess which ones look like they have life style issues. It is really sad to me to see kids, 3-15 so obese that they will have massive health problems by the time they are 30, and many will not reach 50. Check out the figures on Type 2 diabetes and CHR in USA. It is so sad.

Sorry
Cindy

I think a person's weight is most noticeable when they didn't just settle for a healthy weight and pushed themselves to the smallest size possible. There are plenty of naturally skinny people who don't look like the need to adjust their diet. Then there are the people who work to be skinny and look completely ill.

Personally I think it's a sad thing to see when you can tell that someone has pushed aside their health for a number. When will people catch on that numbers and beauty have no connection with each other? -_-

I do my best to eat healthy and exercise regularly. But I still worry about being too thin. Maybe because people comment on how skinny I am. But then I notice most of those folks look over weight. I'm just under 6' 2" and wear size 4 panties. I wasn't after a particular size, that is just what fits well  :P

Quote from: Osiris on May 27, 2009, 05:37:27 PM
I think a person's weight is most noticeable when they didn't just settle for a healthy weight and pushed themselves to the smallest size possible. There are plenty of naturally skinny people who don't look like the need to adjust their diet. Then there are the people who work to be skinny and look completely ill.

Personally I think it's a sad thing to see when you can tell that someone has pushed aside their health for a number. When will people catch on that numbers and beauty have no connection with each other? -_-

I don't think it's possible to reliably differentiate. I have an anorexic friend who usually looks reaonably healthy. She struggles with her disorder, and I can tell, knowing her, whether she's getting enough to eat, but I never suspected before she told me. I have another friend who is as well-adjusted as anyone I have ever met in my life, but looks positively skeletal. If you'd meet her, you'd think she was certainly anorexic, but she's just thin. I have another friend who was losing so much weight, she though she must have been anorexic, even though there was nothing about her personality that suggested it; after carfully analyzing her diet, she found that she was getting a solid 2000+ kcal per day, and she had a problem with her metabolism. She had to start drinking lots of Coca-Cola to get enough calories to survive. Three very thin people, one healthy, one with a metabolic problem, one with an eating disorder.

Some people are naturally skinny.

It is, however, a problem when people who aren't supposed to be skinny force themselves to be so by starving themselves...

Personally I can't actually tell when people "look healthy", so I don't like to judge.

Hell, I'm size 3 petite & 5'6".  I work, & eat a decent diet, but I'm not compulsive about it.  I have some muscle tone.  A lot of it is pure genetic.  I have a tiny bone structure & fairly high metabolism.  If I were to become a little overweight, I'm pretty sure I could probably still wrap my hand around my wrist.  I don't really notice other people's weight unless it's pretty extreme one way or the other.  Most people I'm attracted to, male or female, tend to be a little heavy.

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Post Merge: May 28, 2009, 11:42:16 AM

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"work out," not just "work."  Didn't notice I left a word out until I hit post.

Im skinny myself (about 115 lbs). I dont really feel negatively about other people being skinny.

In many third world countries Id be normal if not a little pudgy.

I am a size 6-8 depending and 5' 10".  I am call 'Skinny" all the time.  Yes I could eat better, but I do alright.

Janet

I'm 5'7" and cannot break 115lbs because my metabolism is too fast. I look like a twig and I don't like it. Makes me feel awkward.

Ive got the exact same problem.

yeah i can see it too. if people are really skinny or fat. im trying to get better with that but im  always thing OMG look at them the are so fat, they have to be pushing more than 350 lbs. or she is way to skinny.

Im a size 5 and i think iam fat, lol!  I think that there is a point where weight can be an issue if it hampers your well being.  I think too, that if you once had a decent shape and now you look like a stick with no curve, then there needs to be some adjustments made as well.  My biggest downfall is sweets.  I would be at my  goal if it werent for  these sweet cravings.  Proper diet, exercise, plenty of water and sleep are the  key to not only being healthy, but looking your best.  This  of course is my opinion again, lol! 

sounds like you need a sugar detox. but its going to make you crazy and a mad person for about 2 weeks

^What is a "sugar detox"?? Like i just went out at 10pm and got a bag of sour  gummy bears and  skittles...it is terrible.  I dont keep anything  with sugar in the house, but  ill get a craving and  i cant stop  it.   Not tryin to hijack,but  i never heard of a sugar detox,  but  if it works, im  willing to try anything.  It can be anything  tho,  m&ms,  protein bars, gummy bears, chocolate.. i like binge on it, then im done  for awhile, but this  goes on at least every other day.

Yeah, I've noticed people's weight and body composition as long as I can remember.

Having an eating disorder myself, I don't consider this to be the slightest bit unexpected. Even at ridiculously unhealthy-low weights, I couldn't keep my eyes off the things I hate about myself... which I realize more and more are 'feminine' physical traits, like fat accumulation on the thighs, or breasts.

Taking time to re-examine my gender identity has given me a lot of insight. I may be 'fat' as a girl, but I'm almost too scrawny as a boy. It's really a double-standard.

I think I've made more than one 'KFC' joke in my life, but sadly, most of those times have been bitter comments rather than joking ones.

wait what was the point of this topic
oh I usually look at people and notice the fat on them but it's not like I hate them or anything
and yes some people are too skinny
but I don't think I'm too skinny but I guess some people think that
people always make a big deal of it if your a little skinnier than most people but it's OK to be a little overweight hmm..

I think Ive received alot of hassle/bullying for being skinny. One person in particular acted like it was okay to talk trash about me for being skinny daily, and the oneday I commented on their weight they flipped out and never talked to me again. This was very mean stuff they said that really broke me down and I feel my one comment was nothing compared to months of verbal abuse.

Also, I finally found out my size, Im a 1.

im not all that skinny but people think its their right to comment on my weight and tell me "your sooo skinny, blah, blah....  It always seems to be people that are overweight telling me that.  Maybe its to make themselves feel better about being fat but Im sorry I dont think its healthy to be packing an innertube of fat around your midsection.

I dont go around telling large people that theyre too fat, why do they have any right to comment on my skinniness.  I eat, Alot, but I cant seem to gain an ounce, so its not like i dont know that I could use some "meat on my bones". 

Anyhow I just find the double standard frustrating.