We all are concerned about what we'll lose when we decide to transition. What you actually do lose is dependent on your particular situation. But there are two things that seem almost a certainty when it comes to losses: reputation and respect.
A good reputation takes a long time to build but only a second to destroy. Practically every one I know lost their good reputation with the majority of people in their life. Not everyone will tell you that to your face but you can tell by their actions, even if it's simple avoidance.
Respect is another casualty from transitioning. Non-TGs usually think you're nuts if you transition, especially if it's MTF. What could be worse than a man becoming a woman? Again, almost everyone I know lost respect from family, friends and co-workers.
That's really sad when you think about it. We are still the same people who built up that good reputation and earned that respect but because we are trans we lose it in a heartbeat.
Julie
You are so correct, perhaps we shouldn't hang the transexual label on ourselves and just leave it at a transistioning woman M2F or man F2M simply because that could apply to GG's and GM's as well a GG could be transistioning from adolesent to teen or 20's to 30's you get it, we are changing our physical state of being just as a GG or GM would, and then maybe we wouldn't lose anything we don't want to.
true true...and it sucks!!!
I don't know if it's the direction I travelled or the particular circumstances of my life, but I found I gained in both areas, among people I know, clients and colleagues. I had a number of people tell me how brave I was, and now that it's past, people seem to have forgotten about it and just treat me as a regular guy.
Dennis
Dennis I suppose it has to do with how our society views men in general, our male driven society has a very different outlook on there fellow man as such has a certain level of respect, this is very obvious the further south you travel in the US particulaly your Dixie states
On the other hand, we gain the respect of those who actually are able to think logically and have a decent understanding of how hard it is to transition. And we gain the reputation of "being willing to go through hell to be true to ourselves" which is more than a Lot of people can say they are.
Quote from: Dennis on May 29, 2009, 01:27:50 PM
I don't know if it's the direction I travelled or the particular circumstances of my life, but I found I gained in both areas, among people I know, clients and colleagues. I had a number of people tell me how brave I was, and now that it's past, people seem to have forgotten about it and just treat me as a regular guy.
Dennis
I have so far found this to be true as well.. at least I have had many of my friends comment to me how brave I am to do this and that in itself has given them a new respect for what I am doing. I have also made quite a few new friends as a result of transitioning. I'm sure I've gained exponentially more than I've lost or "given up", all things considered. I have never thought of it in terms of what I would lose (other than that obvious "thing" I'll be glad to be rid of), just considered what I would gain. Maybe it has to do with our attitude about "loss" and "gain". Some things I have been well glad to lose.
And, I live in Nashville, right down in ol' Dixie.
Compared to where I live Nashville is far, far north :)
Quote from: Cyndigurl45 on May 29, 2009, 03:47:21 PM
Compared to where I live Nashville is far, far north :)
yeah too far north for me in the winter lol :laugh:
I read all of the posts on this thread and nod my head yes. I have nothing to add, other than the fact that I live North (Michigan)
Quote from: Cyndigurl45 on May 29, 2009, 02:54:46 PM
Dennis I suppose it has to do with how our society views men in general, our male driven society has a very different outlook on there fellow man as such has a certain level of respect, this is very obvious the further south you travel in the US particulaly your Dixie states
I suspect you're right and that in many areas, that does play a part. People can see why a woman would "want" to be a man, but they can't see why a man would "want" to be a woman. Which shows a basic lack of understanding of why people transition. It's hardly something you want, like a new sweater.
Dennis
Many of the guys I work with have quit talking to me, because I am transitioning. But there are many that look at me has being so brave to do it. I guess that I realized that this might happen.
But they are both just another that we can lose to be true to ourselves.
Janet
I work in an industry (Steel), that is male dominated. I have made my reputation as a male (of course), and it was a total suprise when I transitioned and came out. I have been accepted by the trade, both on the customer and supply side, although I'm sure there are a lot of comments made behind my back. My employees are so supportive, although typical. The day before I came out to them, I was avoiding a supplier, and when he called, i didn't want to talk to him. One of my guys said, "tell him he's having a sex change". Little did they know, and wondered why i was laughing so hard. When I told them the next day, they apologized, but I thought it was hilarious. They had no idea, and never noticed the plucked eye-brows. Honestly, one of my pleasures is coming out to people who knew me, or at least though they did.
yeah, loss of respect and status was pretty noticeable, but also, over time, some people who were formerly fake friends have become real friends.
it's like, they didn't really connect with me before, and now, they can really speak from the heart. it's very strange. but it's not all bad.
-ell
Quote from: ell on May 29, 2009, 07:13:42 PM
yeah, loss of respect and status was pretty noticeable, but also, over time, some people who were formerly fake friends have become real friends.
it's like, they didn't really connect with me before, and now, they can really speak from the heart. it's very strange. but it's not all bad.
-ell
I have that experience in a couple instances as well, but found that so many more of the people I thought were friends turned out not to be. Their loss, because I am so much more interesting now.
Everything in life has both costs and benefits.
When the benefits outweigh the costs it's time, IMO, to begin transition.
Post Merge: May 29, 2009, 10:49:23 PM
Too bad the costs aren't all tax dedcutible.
While some truly goodhearted people may struggle to wrap their heads around the idea of someone transitioning, I reckon that, in general, if you lose respect and your reputation in the eyes of some people, their opinion is probably not worth worrying about. The people who respect you are the people who are worth knowing. The rest can go jump.
Quote from: Julie MarieThat's really sad when you think about it. We are still the same people who built up that good reputation and earned that respect but because we are trans we lose it in a heartbeat.
This can take several different paths... Business, friends and family, wife and kids.
Friends and family are the toughest on our hearts and souls, because these people make up the core of our existance. Unless you are emotionally tied to work, its the personal relationships that really matter. I think its impossible to predict who respect/accept a trans person and who wont... seems like those we think we can rely on abandon us, and those that we are sure will abandon rally to our side...
No matter what, when we lose respect from loved ones, its going to hurt... hurt like hell. It wont be like a bandage being torn off either... more like a wound with salt being poured into it. But by the same token, those that stand by us... they will provide a large measure of relief and validation. We will know who we can count on when the chips are down.
BTW, reputation does play into the personal relationships as well. Some will see you as a degenerate or sexual deviant, and they wont think twice of trashing your reputation as a trusted adult...
Next comes work... We want to believe that business people are smart and will measure their reactions by pure business sense and not prejudice. Sadly, some people dont behave that way. There are people who make bad decisions because of arrogance, guile, jealousy, greed, lust, pettiness... the list goes on. But this has little to do with transitioning, and more to do with the character of the people we come in contact with in our daily lives. Some can see beyond their own preconceived notions... Will everyone behave that way? Who can really say...
Wife and kids... well, I dont have to expound on that one. Prolly been more written here in these posts than can be related anyways... its gone both ways. Your mileage may vary...
But Im thinking... ok, lets say thats true. Does that mean to abandon ship, give up all hope of ever getting to the end? Everyone has to answer that for themselves... The only measure to go by becomes... when does the pain of GID significantly exceed the fear of losing all that is dear to you? And how much can any of us know what will happen?
Not simple questions or simple answers. Everyone of us must work through that in our heads. Because in the end its up to us, and us alone, to define our happiness...
Sorry, I guess that brings us full circle...
I think you have good points, Julie. I couldn't have transitioned until I accepted that I may lose work, family, marriage, and friends. When I got to the stage where my need to transition exceeded the possible pain of those losses (which, I gotta confess, was about two weeks after realizing what had been wrong for so long), then I did. As soon as I realized what had been wrong, I thought about all that had meant so much to me and realized this meant more.
It all worked out well for me. It doesn't always for everyone. You have to be prepared to take those losses. And respect, dignity, anonymity can also be lost.
Dennis
I've had no problems with close friends and family but I've had a strange reply from a close GG friend, who is very highly respected, and at the top 10 percentile in her industry. We have known each other for about 20 yrs, but with me as pretend male. Since I came out to her, she has invited me as Cindy to social events with her friends, whom I didn't know. She knows I don't live full time as yet, because of work related issues. She knows I go out socially and shop etc as Cindy. Her comment was; being what you want is all well and good but once your medical colleagues know about Cindy you are finished professionally. I really don't think you should go out as Cindy in case some one recognises you.
I know from conversation that she had no idea of TG issues. She was amazed that FtM exist (funny reversal on some ealier posts, Dennis and others). She uses male pronouns to me on the phone etc, but not when I have been with her socially as Cindy, then she tends to use gender neutral terms.
I don't have any problem with this but I thought I would add it to the thread as an experience we may discuss and learn from.
Cindy
Quote from: CindyJamesHer comment was; being what you want is all well and good but once your medical colleagues know about Cindy you are finished professionally. I really don't think you should go out as Cindy in case some one recognises you.
And therein lies the conundrum... once I gave up being religious, I had a friend say that to me for abandoning the dogma, I can only imagine what he would say about going out as Stacy (or god forbid, transitioning). But I cant continue on this path of duality... its tearing me up inside. So do I give in to the negatives knowing whats at stake and shortchange myself, or do I dismiss it all as drama created in my head and wake up one morning and find out it was real?
All I know is Im tired of living in fear of loss... thats no way to live... :'(
My transition has paralleled Dennis'. If anything, I've gained respect, and again, that may be because people just don't get why a man would want to be a woman (obviously not undertstanding it). And part of it is that even in 2009 women are just not as respected as men, and now that you're a woman (you always were, but perceived as one) you're experiencing that.
It was one of the things I hated most in female mode, being ignored, dismissed, and treated like I was stupid, when I am competent and capable and knew what I was talking about. It wasn't uncommon for me to state something, only to have a male repeat it to another person, and suddenly it was the best idea ever, with the credit going to the male and not me. Fairly typical, unfortunately.
Jay
Quote from: FairyGirl on May 29, 2009, 03:41:00 PM
I have so far found this to be true as well.. at least I have had many of my friends comment to me how brave I am to do this and that in itself has given them a new respect for what I am doing. I have also made quite a few new friends as a result of transitioning. I'm sure I've gained exponentially more than I've lost or "given up", all things considered. I have never thought of it in terms of what I would lose (other than that obvious "thing" I'll be glad to be rid of), just considered what I would gain. Maybe it has to do with our attitude about "loss" and "gain". Some things I have been well glad to lose.
Actually, I can't say that I've lost anything. Some of my male friends had a little trouble at first - not being true to the team, or something - but now they treat me the same as always but will open the door for me sometimes. :D I have more and closer female friends than I did before. My social calendar is far busier than it was. ;D People tell me they respect me for finally being true to myself.
My next door neighbor is having a little trouble accepting me as Katherine, and I'll be sorry if I lose his friendship because he's an ideal neighbor (quiet, clean, helpful, friendly, leaves me alone). And a sort-of friend I would meet for coffee now and then has more or less disappeared, but we really didn't have much in common anyway. The rest of the people around me are closer than ever. It's like we share a nice secret, and that bonds us together. They can be more open with me because I've been more open with them.
I was always afraid of being girly. A tomboy is acceptable, a girly boy is not. But for the most part people accept me as who I am - struggling to let Katherine shine out. What little I may have lost pales in comparison to the bounty I've gained. ;D
- Kate
I've only gained respect and reputation so far, didn't lose any friends and only one has been weird about it (I suppose you could count him as a loss 'cos we don't really hang out anymore) but not nearly as bad as I thought he would be. I've made more friends especially in the music scene because I find it easier to socialise with people I don't know so well now. I'm not out at work yet - I'm trying to move to another job rather than transition in this one - and I'm sure it would be a different story there but it doesn't bother me too much, their opinions don't really matter (but the continuing paycheck does for the moment ;P).
Quote from: Dennis on May 29, 2009, 01:27:50 PM
I don't know if it's the direction I travelled or the particular circumstances of my life, but I found I gained in both areas, among people I know, clients and colleagues. I had a number of people tell me how brave I was, and now that it's past, people seem to have forgotten about it and just treat me as a regular guy.
Dennis
I agree with that, although I think it is in part where you are and how old you are. I am having the same experience and am in college. My family, friends, teachers, and bosses have all told me that they respect me for it. They tell me that I am brave for what I am doing, and they respect me for doing what I need to do.
I know that a lot of people have a tough time, but hang in there!
I think age makes a big difference. I think people are more sympathetic if you are college age or high school. I'm not saying it is any easier to come out when you are younger, just that I believe that people tend to be more understanding towards the young.
If you are past middle age, and have a wife and kids, it can be hard for people to accept that being TG is not a choice. They may have known you for many, many years as "a family man", and it is hard for them to see your new identity as a single woman. I think it is a sad truth that respect and reputation are easily lost for older transitioners.
Quote from: Dennis on May 29, 2009, 01:27:50 PM
I don't know if it's the direction I travelled or the particular circumstances of my life, but I found I gained in both areas
For some reason, I have too, at least with the friends and family I've come out to. Maybe I was just a uninteresting, boring guy to be around, and as a girl I'm much more ... well
alive ... you know ... energetic, talkative, complimentary to people. I go outside and hang out with friends all the time nowadays instead of closing off the world. Something else was that I acted very prideful as a guy, and now I've let down so many of my emotional barriers. I think it's hard to be truly at peace with others until you are with yourself.
Other people pick up on this.
Quote from: BritneyBB on May 31, 2009, 02:47:56 PM
I think age makes a big difference. I think people are more sympathetic if you are college age or high school. I'm not saying it is any easier to come out when you are younger, just that I believe that people tend to be more understanding towards the young.
I've found this true in my experiences transitioning. I have no idea why.
I found I was comfortable with my self and that carried over to the start of my RLT. I had a support group that knew I was about to start the RLT. One of my friends let me stay over when the roads were impassible. We went everywhere together with me as Gloria. This carried over through the RLT. Now I am married, 39 yrs this month, and when I went for SRS this friend of ours decided we could not be friends any more because I was still married and this made us lesbians. Go Figure! At work when I started RLT I had management read a letter to the people from me explaining what was going to happen. I also told them they could ask any questions they wanted. This was in the postal service in a mail processing plant. I was an electronics tech. and retired as such. After the first few days, they found out that the person now presenting to them was just the same as the previous one on the inside. The fact I didn't act ashamed made a huge difference. After all was said and done I still did the same job. There were the ignorant ones, there will always be those but the other people out numbered them. So keep your head up.
Gloria
Before I transitioned, I had developed a strong support system around me of family and friends, and other trans peoploe, so I felt very supported during the process.
But even though I "did it right" in giving my boss months of notice, offers of training, education, etc. etc., he still managed to push me out the door, because he was a bigot.
But one of my customer's hired me and it has been a great job. Not as much $$ but very happy.
some times there is just nothing you can do about bigotry. Sorry it had to be that way. I was offered a transfer to where ever I wanted to go because management was afraid for me. Bunch of Rednecks but I stayed and it actually worked for the better.
Gloria
Quote from: Inanna on May 31, 2009, 03:14:12 PM
For some reason, I have too, at least with the friends and family I've come out to. Maybe I was just a uninteresting, boring guy to be around, and as a girl I'm much more ... well alive ... you know ... energetic, talkative, complimentary to people. I go outside and hang out with friends all the time nowadays instead of closing off the world. Something else was that I acted very prideful as a guy, and now I've let down so many of my emotional barriers. I think it's hard to be truly at peace with others until you are with yourself.
Other people pick up on this.
I am much chattier and social than I was as a pretend-guy. I've also found that I have much less to prove and so can relax. :)
My electrologist, who has many TG clients, said she thinks the young and older people have the easiest time but for some reason the 30 to 50 age group seem to have the most difficulty. I haven't seen anything to contradict her but don't have as wide experience with other TGs as she does. (She wasn't saying this is Truth. She was just saying this is what she's observed.)
- Kate
I have to say that I've been very fortunate in that I haven't lost the respect of very few friends or family. In fact I would have to say that respect and my reputation has increased since transition.
It turns out that those who I've lost were no real loss at all.
-={LR}=-
It is correct that one may lose respect from some but gain from others. I doubt that most respect me any way I go. Many people "Demonstrate" respect. So the gains far outweigh any losses. With love and due respect, Genevieve
I haven't really lost either yet, but only gained. Frankly, people just used to think I was weird. For example, I have a good friend who told me that when we first met she couldn't deal with the way I avoided and dealt with competition and conflict. We met in a group that played drop-in games of ultimate frisbee weekly, so that issue came up a lot. After I came out, people were able to figure me out more easily -- "Oh, she's a girl. That makes sense." So I get on a lot better.
But I still have some major obstacles ahead of me. I'm optimistic, but also quite anxious and afraid.
Today I spent time with a sometime friend I hadn't seen since starting fulltime. He is a hunter and fisher and Harley rider and very male. He said "It takes a real man to do what you're doing." ???
I wasn't quite sure what to reply to that so let it pass, but I'd guess he respects me more now than he did. :D
- Kate
Quote from: K8 on June 01, 2009, 07:12:07 PM
He said "It takes a real man to do what you're doing."
Sounds like he was trying to give you a big compliment, in his own way :)
-----
Transitioning takes guts, but sometimes you're left with no other option. Facing it myself, I have max respect for anyone that goes through it.
I've just gotten people telling me I'm not man enough and there is "nothing wrong with me", so I'm going it alone (it's not upsetting, I just deal with it). I haven't noticed any difference in the way people see me, 'cause they're all in denial. It's nice to hear some people do in fact gain respect - I thought it would be universally the opposite.
The more open minded people do think it explains why I'm a little odd though :).
Quote from: Cyndigurl45 on May 29, 2009, 02:54:46 PM
our male driven society
That can be subjective. In China and asian countries- that are is considered male driven.
In Western countries- they can consider it female friendly. But yes, they won't consider it female driven probably maybe female friendly.
I can see your point to some extent but women can assert themselves too. At times, I can see women completely own a man.
Quote from: Dennis on May 29, 2009, 01:27:50 PM
I don't know if it's the direction I travelled or the particular circumstances of my life, but I found I gained in both areas, among people I know, clients and colleagues. I had a number of people tell me how brave I was, and now that it's past, people seem to have forgotten about it and just treat me as a regular guy.
Dennis
I agree, Dennis. My status and happiness have gone no where but up since I transitioned. Some of my family think I'm kina weird but all agree that I'm much happier than they've known me to be before transition. My career has flourished and I've even received some awards and recognition of Grand Poohbahs in society. I've been invited to speak on mental health at conferences and on smooth workplace transitions to a group of HR managers for large corporations. Most important is the feeling of being myself and not hiding the real me anymore.
Quote from: K8 on June 01, 2009, 07:12:07 PMHe said "It takes a real man to do what you're doing." ???
When I came out to a group of friends, one guy told me, "Dude, that took some balls." ??? I told him, "Well, yes, that's precisely the problem."
Quote from: Claire de Lune on June 01, 2009, 10:47:24 PM
I agree, Dennis. My status and happiness have gone no where but up since I transitioned. Some of my family think I'm kina weird but all agree that I'm much happier than they've known me to be before transition. My career has flourished and I've even received some awards and recognition of Grand Poohbahs in society. I've been invited to speak on mental health at conferences and on smooth workplace transitions to a group of HR managers for large corporations. Most important is the feeling of being myself and not hiding the real me anymore.
I had an acquaintance say to me, shortly after I transitioned (and still looked like a doof in a suit): "I didn't get the whole thing. I heard about it and I thought yeah what?" then he said "you look comfortable and happy, I never noticed you didn't before, but now I see you, you look happy."
And that was when I was feeling my most silly in a suit (looked about 12, body fat hadn't redistributed yet). Another friend said to me shortly before I transitioned (not knowing I was going to) "You are the happiest, most laid-back person I know". After, she said "wow, this is so natural for you."
People can tell when you're comfortable with yourself. That said, I have a friend who's transitioned recently and looks more uncomfortable. Not sure what to do about that. Or say.
Dennis
It's kinda odd. I've started to think that if one was alone and non-social when they began to transition that they often remain that way afterwards. It's not like it's the holy grail that somehow makes the world right and aligned and brings the spring flowers.
It was always about personal comfort and congruity. I thought for the longest time I was losing very much. But that hasn't borne out.
I "lost" a sister and some relatives. The sister and I are in contact again, most of the relatives were distant anyhow and I hadn't actually had much contact with them in years anyhow.
I lost a job. That sucked, but opened other opportunities that I might not have been in a position to attain had I not transitioned. I lost a marriage that was also not as huge a deal as it had seemed at the time. We still talk, but the truth is she seems much happier with her current mate and I am definitely happier with my partner.
I have a fairly large group of friends, mostly female, that I prolly would have had no opportunity to be around had I not transitioned. Oddly, the place that terminated/I resigned from called last week and was sniffing around about me returning to work for them. :)
Loss of respect? I dunno. Men and women are certainly on different planes in our society/culture. It is what it is. I was never much interested in being "the authoritative voice and presence" before. I've learned that what ever "authority" we possess and are given seems to come from the ways we live our lives, not from how we "boss" others about or how well we "demand" respect.
Confidence, comfort and being attuned to one's own life often bring that kind of stuff in its wake anyhow, without making a lot of fuss about it. *shrug*
The only thing I really "lost" was what I could not only afford to lose, but needed to lose: the of living a life that wasn't my own. I'm not seeing that that was a loss, rather a gain. Along with pretty much everything else I can think of.
N~
Hhhmmmm, reputation and respect? Two things earned and admired. And, as has been stated, so easily lost. But, does the loss have to be associated with transitioning? I guess, maybe. Then again it could be that one was already losing the two and didn't know it beforehand. Just a thought.
As for myself, I was not too long ago at a local support group meeting. One in which a trans woman arrived whom I had never met nor seen before. The topic of the day was in fact "what struggles we have gone through in transitioning". A statement she made at the time has stuck with me and I actually took some offence to it. She said, "If your going to transition, you must understand that you have to give up everything in order to be successful". Followed by, " That includes family, friends, job.......everything. There is no other way. You will not succeed otherwise". That is vertually a verbatum quote. It was more an implication that "you will lose everything. No if, ands or buts about it".
I left there feeling as though she was actually directing her comments towards me personally. Since just prior I had been telling of how good, things were going in my transition (I had not yet gone full time). Her statement left me a bit troubled inside. Was I fooling myself that I could keep all of my friendships and associations I had built over a lifetime? This has been a goal of mine after all.
When I returned home, I had a long conversation with my wife over what had been said. We evaluated our own lives and where we stood now as opposed to where we were just a few short years ago. We both agreed, she must be in a very miserable and lonely situation. One in which she either did not recieve or was not able to garner a support system. Hence the belief that she expressed.
What's this got to do with it. Well, as luck would have it my being full time came sooner than either my wife or I had expected. It has been over a month now and I have to say, it has been nothing short of fantastic. Both in regards to business and friendships, I have worked hard for the respect and reputaion that I have and, I continue to work just as hard..............no, harder now in order to keep the two. I own my own business, which my wife and I both spent a lot of our lives and money turning it into a successful venture. My wife no longer works with me, but, she is still very concerned and involved in making decisions about it. When I first came in full time, I held my breath waiting for the "OMG, run out of here quick" responses from customers and,...............................it never happened. In fact it would seem that business over the last month plus has been getting better. People, when they come in, find me easier to work with and that maybe I listen to their issues with more sincerity. I dunno.....
All I can offer is, I think it is all in our attitude and confidence as to what we win or lose. It may as well, involve how close you are to those who you interact with on a day to day basis. I know I have some trouble coming from aunts and uncles and, maybe some cousins thrown in for good measure. However, I haven't yet been afforded the opportunity to offer my arguement. We'll see after that. As for others around me (business or otherwise) I have really seen no difference in respect nor have I yet heard that I am unworthy of having a fine reputation that I enjoyed when I was all male. Now I may not get invited out to the next beer fest with the "guys", but then again I have more of a champaign taste these days anyway, lol. In my life, I'm convinced it all comes down to attitude and confidence in myself. After all, I am the same person inside that everyone has always known. I will not let that develop into a negative outcome because of how they now see me on the outside!
Dawn
Yes, we all lose things and reputation and respect are high on the list. Maybe if people knew how much courage it takes to transition in the face of an unaccepting society their respect for us would rise.
Quote from: Dennis on May 29, 2009, 01:27:50 PM
I don't know if it's the direction I travelled or the particular circumstances of my life, but I found I gained in both areas, among people I know, clients and colleagues. I had a number of people tell me how brave I was, and now that it's past, people seem to have forgotten about it and just treat me as a regular guy.
Dennis
This has more been my experience as well, but then...
I know that in my case, I had a pretty bad reputation before I transitioned. I was angry, bitchy, and antisocial. The only people who did respect me respected me for my intelligence, and that respect is unaffected by my gender (my gender only seems to affect how smart people initially think I am when they meet me, before they get to see my intelligence in action).
Since I started hormones, and particularly since I started living as a woman full-time, I've stopped being angry, bitchy, and moody. I'm far more civil, polite, calm/cheerful, and outgoing. People who knew me before transition have been amazed at this change in me and even those who initially opposed the idea have changed their views, unable to deny the amazingly positive effect it's had in my life.
Honestly, I think I've only lost one thing in transitioning, and that's my sister.