When they find out that I am transgendered and am now at last becoming the woman I've always thought I should be, I've had a number of people say something to the effect of "I can't imagine holding that inside you all those years."
I know they mean well, but I never know what to reply.
At first I would just say something to the effect that I just got on with my life. Then I started saying something like I managed. Somehow I would like to acknowledge their concern and not overplay it but at the same time let them know that it was sometimes a real struggle.
What did you say when people say something similar to you?
- Kate
I usually just nod and go "Mmmmm..."
Well, most people know that I haven't coped well with life at all, never became a real adult, just a junkie. So, nobody asks that, they just go 'ohhh.' I think they're waiting to see if I'll finally grow up and become an upstanding citizen now. :laugh:
maybe just be truthful and say what you said here, that sometimes it was a real struggle. You don't have to give them your life story, but maybe just say it wasn't easy but you're doing much better now, and leave it at that. Unless of course they want to know more, and however much you want to embellish that basic message.
i usually say "you never pissed me off, did you?"
I've never been asked that. But after holding it inside for forty some odd years, I would just smile and draw attention to the business at hand. If they press the issue, I would ask if they are considering to trans gender and need help finding resources :laugh:
FairyGirl has it right. Just say what you said here. Myself, anyone who is close to me already understands that there was a bit of struggle. I had become so accustomed to living with my own self doubt and questioning myself it sort of became a nonissue. Mostly I will tell others something they want to hear. May not even be the whole truth, but enough truth. Maybe I'm dancing around the issue.
I just nod and go MHM myself.
I'll usually tell them "It's been/is quite a stuggle, but its better now"...I'm pretty honest about it if it comes up. I'm glad they acknowlege it to be honest, because it really is a challange that most people will never understand entirely.