Hey guys, I have a question (I know, I'm full of them). I'd like to hear your stories about what happened at work when you told them you were transitioning. Good or bad experiences- I don't care. Even though I won't be at this point for awhile I'm curious to see what I'm up against. Actually, I'm just mentally preparing myself to be fired. :icon_boxing:
My boss was sweet as about it :) his first reaction was "So you're going to be a boy?" but said in a amusing happy kind of way, lol. Cause I hardly ever see him, I work as a commercial cleaner at the mo, I only ever talk to him on the phone usually, every time he's like "Whoa, your voice has gotten lower." and doesn't believe me when I first pick up that its me.
XD
Mine was great. He sent round an email explaining what I was going to go through, then a bunch of my co-workers took me out for drinks. No problem at all.
Dennis
Non-issue. HR (if you can call it that at my job!) sent out a memo. A total non-issue.
Jay
Quote from: sneakersjay on June 04, 2009, 01:55:17 AM
Non-issue. HR (if you can call it that at my job!) sent out a memo. A total non-issue.
Jay
Yeah, at my workplace there is no HR. You have to stand up for yourself with sometimes little support.
Quote from: Radar on June 04, 2009, 07:05:10 AM
Yeah, at my workplace there is no HR. You have to stand up for yourself with sometimes little support.
We have a bunch of (mis)managers and a business office so I went to the most-likely friendly manager, who took it to the manager's meeting with the company owner, and that was that.
Jay
The more professional and technical your job is the fewer problems you should encounter, or so it seems. People working minimum wage, low skill jobs seem to have the hardest time. People living and working in more liberal areas seem to have fewer problems also.
Not an issue.. check my blog. Make A Wish.
Jay
Quote from: tekla on June 04, 2009, 12:05:52 PM
The more professional and technical your job is the fewer problems you should encounter, or so it seems. People working minimum wage, low skill jobs seem to have the hardest time. People living and working in more liberal areas seem to have fewer problems also.
I've heard that too. I have a professional job, but I wouldn't call the South very liberal. We'll see what happens. When the time does come I'm definitely going to talk to this local lawyer who handles transgender cases. I'll need to be prepared for the worst. >:(
Post Merge: June 04, 2009, 12:20:04 PM
Quote from: Jay on June 04, 2009, 12:14:19 PM
Not an issue.. check my blog. Make A Wish.
Jay
Where's your blog at?
Well I'm sure your lawyer will tell you that knowing you've been discriminated against, and proving it are two very different things. You might also want to check the conditions of your hiring, if you are listed as an 'at will' employee they can terminate you at any time, and they don't even need a reason.
Yes, I know if they can't fire/lay you off for one thing they'll find another. If I already have a lawyer it will be easier to take the next actions. I'm not an "at will" employee.
Excuse my ignorance, but what's an "at will" employee?
Just trying to be educated for my future.
An 'at will' employee can be terminated at any time, for no reason with no libility on the part of the employer. On the other hand, you don't owe them two weeks notice either. It's become a very common 'contract' for people to work under, particularly at lower positions. There are 'reasons' why they can't fire you, but they would have to be real stupid to get caught at it, particularly when the economy sucks.
You can look it up on wiki or NOLO, which is a layman's law site.
It was my understanding that if you are fired after you come out and you sue, then it is up to the employer to prove that it was for a reason other than your being trans. At least I'm pretty sure that's what the HR person at my last job said...or it might have been at the local trans group...I don't know. But someone said it. :-\ (I'm also in the South, btw)
You can sue, but the burden of proof is on you, not them. And they have more money for lawyers then you do. You need a smoking gun, something that outright says that's why you were fired. Hard to come by. And in the case of 'at will' much harder to prove.
Get a letter from a therapist or doctor stating that you are in treatment for GID and it is medically necessary that you be referred to by your chosen name/pronouns. Letterhead carries more weight than a nervous conversation with your boss.
Quote from: Mister on June 06, 2009, 02:57:26 AM
Get a letter from a therapist or doctor stating that you are in treatment for GID and it is medically necessary that you be referred to by your chosen name/pronouns. Letterhead carries more weight than a nervous conversation with your boss.
I was thinking that too, a little more leverage. Thanks for the idea Mister.
This may be of limited use, as I'm not coming out at work for a few more weeks, but here's my plan: I bought a couple of books from Amazon. Just skimmed through Transgender Workplace Diversity by Jillian Weis, and am still waiting for Transsexual Workers: An Employer's Guide by Janis Walworth. As I say, I haven't gotten the second one yet, but the first is very straight-forward and is definitely aimed at business/HR people. It offers a suggested plan, and a number of legal references, as well as concise arguments as to why it is in a company's best interest to avoid workplace discrimination, while recognizing the real-world issues involved in managing an employee's transition at work. It has a lot of typos, though, which rather diminishes its authority. :-\
When I am ready to come out I plan to make an appointment with the regional HR head and to bring these books along for her to peruse. I will outline what I see as the ideal process, get her feedback, and probably make another appointment at a later date so that she can have a chance to look through the books (if she feels that's appropriate) and to confer with legal/corporate HR/upper management before we set a definite plan. Fortunately it's a very large, and reasonably progressive company, so I'm not anticipating a lot of trouble. Who knows, they may already have a transition plan in place; But I like to come prepared.
Thanks everyone so far with your ideas, thoughts and experiences. :)
Jamie-o (or anybody this can relate to), since you're on T have any employees noticed the changes and wonder about it? I have to work close hand with many employees and even though the T changes would be gradual I'm sure they'd still notice. I'm just thinking out loud, that by the time I do officially inform work it will have already been assumed. Who knows... co-workers can be hard to figure out. :P
I dunno. It does seem that the guys have been accepting me better recently than they used to, but I don't know if that has anything to do with T, or if I've just been around long enough that they've figured out they're not getting rid of me. At any rate, they seem to be making an effort to get to know me a bit more. I'm fairly certain that there is a rumor about me being lesbian, at the very least. (Spurred on by someone having left a copy of Lavender, the Twin Cities' LGBT magazine, in the break room a few weeks ago. And, no, it wasn't me. Must be another queer in the building. ;) Statistically speaking there should be about a dozen, but to my knowledge, none of them are out.)
I did catch one of the guys trying to check out my rack a couple months ago, shortly after I started binding at work. The look on his face was priceless. :D He looked completely baffled, as if he was thinking, "Wait a minute. Something's missing there. WTF?!" Nobody has said anything to me, but like I say, I wouldn't be at all surprised if there is some talk behind my back.
A bit of background: I work in a national medical distribution center in Western WI, about half an hour from the Twin Cities. (With a little research I'm sure you can all figure out where I work, now. ::) If you do, please don't out me until I out myself.) Most of the people I work with have blue-collar and/or farming backgrounds, but because it's involved with the medical community, the company has a bit of a liberal, white-collar leaning as well.
Quote from: Radar on June 04, 2009, 12:16:32 PM
Post Merge: June 03, 2009, 10:20:04 PM
Where's your blog at?
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,311.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,311.0.html)
There is a few posts about work there :)
Jay
Quote from: Jamie-o on June 08, 2009, 03:55:49 AM
I did catch one of the guys trying to check out my rack a couple months ago, shortly after I started binding at work. The look on his face was priceless. :D He looked completely baffled, as if he was thinking, "Wait a minute. Something's missing there. WTF?!" Nobody has said anything to me...
Yeah, after trying several different binding methods I've come across one that works for me. Even thought my chest isn't huge you can still tell a
major difference with the binding. Yet nobody has said anything to me yet. I haven't noticed anyone checking me out to try and figure it out, but I don't pay much attention to that anyway anymore.
Post Merge: June 08, 2009, 07:56:26 AM
Quote from: Jay on June 08, 2009, 05:26:00 AM
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,311.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,311.0.html)
There is a few posts about work there :)
Jay
Thank you. :)
Hey, there! I just wanted to update you on the books I mentioned earlier. I finally got the second book, and all I can say is, don't waste your time and money. It has a major case of TMI, goes off on political tangents, and comes off as being an amateur attempt to push the "transexual agenda". Or, at least, that is how someone who is not already indoctrinated in trans culture would see it. It might be a good book for someone who is just looking into transition, and wants more info for themselves, but it is entirely inappropriate for the workplace.
So my recommendation is to skip Transsexual Workers by Janis Walworth, and go with Transgender Workplace Diversity by Jillian Weiss.
Thanks Jamie-o. :)
When i came out, i was working with the best bunch of guys. I first told my manager who was like... "Fair enough, you life." Then i gathered all the folks and told em. I'd been there 2 and a half years and built up a rather tough friendship with the lot of them, so they were all supportive. The best part about it all was the banter, some people would have took offense in it, but i didn't cos i knew they were all having a laugh, and i be damned they have a laugh without me! lol