Okay, ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-!
Recently told friends to start calling me by male pronouns. Not sure about the whole trans thing yet. Not come out to parents.
My Dad just came upstairs and said that Beth (the child of my uncle's second wife. What the bugger does she have to do with my ->-bleeped-<-ing business!) said something like;
"What is it about the *surname*s? First Greg changes his name and now Shauna..."
Me: "Yeah, my name on Facebook is Gizzy."
Dad: "She said something about Charlie."
Me: *shrugs*
Dad: "Don't know what she's on about then"
Panic panic panic.
What do I do? Obviously someone has told her as my Facebook is private and all that. Although I didn't think she had any friends lol.
I HATE confrontation. But I know if I don't say anything then my mum is gonna start digging around or bugging me about it. I don't have the guts to tell her.
But again, I don't know if I'm even trans. I'm gonna look stupid if I say I am and then I'm not.
Ugh, I just don't know what to do.
If nobby-no-friends Beth knows about it, then it won't be long before others do. Like people that I don't want knowing. People that would either give me ->-bleeped-<- about it or spread it around like there's no tomorrow.
HELP!
EDIT: Apparently it's going around the college I used to go to.
Just let it die out. If something is asked deal with it then, with honesty and openness. She could have been told by anyone.
Don't get yourself all worked up over it. One day at a time.
Janet
Yeah. I'm not really one to care about what people think of me.
It's just my parents finding out about it all that I'm scared about.
I'm not ready to come out yet. But I may be forced to.
If you are forced just explain it the way you have done to us. I am sure that will work.
Janet
Quote from: Janet Lynn on June 10, 2009, 01:50:06 PM
If you are forced just explain it the way you have done to us. I am sure that will work.
Janet
Yup totally agree with Janet Lynn...expain that your not sure about things and your just trying it out right now. That's what happens when you grow up....you try things that may be right and things that may not be what you end up wanting. Hope all goes well though!!!
Looks like you're learning an important lesson the hard way-- you can't both be in and out at the same time since most people can't STFU and let you have a life. Looks like it's time to come out.
Quote from: kody2011 on June 10, 2009, 02:55:40 PM
Yup totally agree with Janet Lynn...expain that your not sure about things and your just trying it out right now. That's what happens when you grow up....you try things that may be right and things that may not be what you end up wanting. Hope all goes well though!!!
I agree with this too.
Good luck.
I agree. Another hard learned lesson is don't ever say anything online without expecting people to find out. Because most people can't keep anything quiet even if their life depended on it. :-\
I'm okay with people spreading it around and stuff really. I expect them too.
It's just the fact that it's somehow gotten to my parents.
You can't isolate your parents from the rest of the planet, as much as you might occasionally want to. Just wait 'til they walk in on you having sex.
Haha, yeah, that's already happened unfortunately.
My pain in the arse ex found out about me through facebook too the other week. I never knew people read those things, but apparently they do. I didn't change it until I was ready to be out, I used it as a way to come out without having to talk to people I rarely see 1 on 1.
Changing your facebook is akin to a public outing - but I don't have to tell you that now!
Your parents are going to figure something is up eventually. They usually know you better than you think. More often than not, they are just concerned for your mental wellbeing.
If they ask, I'd just explain it as you have on here. You're finding yourself, and trying on a few different names and ways to relate to yourself. It isn't unusual for young people to do this, we all have to find our identity - trans and non-trans alike. Identity crisis is a great short way to explain things without getting into the finer details.
If you don't want to hint at what the deal is, you could always say it's a nickname you like, and you prefer to be a guy on the internet because it's "safer". Parents are afraid of internet preditors and identity theft (just as the TV tells them to be) so if they're not so internet savvy, they'll dig it. I don't reccomend outright lying though if you intend to come out down the track.
Good luck, I hope it all works out for you, and your family handles it with patience and understanding.
Yes I vote for telling your parents that your not sure about things. There is so much more out there about transgender and trans kids that most parents at least know about it. That is assuming your parents are half way open, which I'm betting they are.
Good luck.
Let us know how it goes
Beni
Quote from: Beni on June 10, 2009, 09:04:16 PM
Yes I vote for telling your parents that your not sure about things. There is so much more out there about transgender and trans kids that most parents at least know about it. That is assuming your parents are half way open, which I'm betting they are.
Good luck.
Let us know how it goes
Beni
yep yep yep
There is no such thing as a secure public website. If you are going to facebook, twit, or whatever, that information is now in the public domain. Similar, your avatar is on Susan's site. It is a public site your avatar is open to anyone to look at and recognise.
If you wish to put your personal details and thoughts public then get real; you, are going to have to deal with it.
There is now increasing work in HR departments to go through FB and Ts etc before getting people in for interview.
Be very careful of what you place.
In your case I'd try to laugh it of. Make a joke about a friend who did something of making an alternative avatar etc. Until you have something or want to deal with an issue.
Be careful
Cindy
Coming Out begins and ends with parents, when you do that, the rest is easy, no care, or who cares.