Hey y'all. It's that n00b guy Jack here again.
As I mentioned in my "intro" post, I'm 19 and have only recently decided to pursue a gender change, albeit very very quietly and carefully.
I've been using an "old-lady corset" for binding. I'm pretty large chested, I'd like to find a more effective alternative that's also economical (and maybe a little less sweaty...)
Then there's the issue of bathroom use in public.
I don't really know if the way I look "passes" or not, especially because I live in a small town where a lot of people know me anyway, not personally but just by sight. But it's shameful for me to have to ultimately use the women's restroom out of anxiety over whether or not I pass. I'll post some photos up, I guess, maybe y'all can tell me what needs work? (I've had varying opinions from friends, but you know how people you've known for years can't look at anything you do objectively..)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi183.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx311%2FPiratePiratePorno%2FIMG000444.jpg&hash=74c1a3d3f2dfa5a327a58a360315f236c07fc91f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi183.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx311%2FPiratePiratePorno%2FIMG000429.jpg&hash=39319007fa794b1c6c73893e714001454693444e)
Any thoughts, suggestions, ideas, objects thrown in my direction, etc, would all be appreciated. :D
-Jack
RE: Binders - Check out Underworks. They have a number of compression shirts that work very well and are reasonably comfortable. Most people recommend either the Tri-top or the double-front compression shirt. Which one is better depends on who you ask. ;D They run around $30-$35. There is also a company called T-Kingdom that makes compression shirts specifically for FtMs and other female-bodied cross-dressers. They tend to be more pricey, though ($65-$85 as I recall) and they ship from Asia, so the wait time can be pretty long.
If those are out of your price range, the next best things are back braces or waist belts, which run $10-$25 at Walmart, Target, drugstores, etc. They work well and are reasonably comfortable, but sweaty as all get out.
Tips on passing: A more butch haircut would probably help. Also, it looks as if you shape your eyebrows? Let 'em grow wild. The bushier the better. ;) Also, your glasses are fairly feminine. Next time you get new spectacles, you may want to look for something more overtly masculine. Until you are passing more regularly, I would also go with more masculine earrings. Either diamond (or cubic zirconium) studs, or steel body-piercing style earrings. That's my 2 cents worth, anyway. ;D
Btw, I missed your intro, so I'll say it here. Welcome to Susan's.
Thanks, Jamie-o. Actually, I don't shape my eyebrows, never have more than twice in my life, lol. They just grow that way. :P
I am actually getting ready for a new pair of specs--had these for a couple years, bout time I got some other ones. (I am only a recent "convert" so that's what that's all about.. haha)
Thinkin' about getting some clear plastic frames that are round. I like glasses that look real nerdy like that haha.
Thanks for the tips. I'll have to check out those compression shirts, though I'm wary of ordering something from a company online since it might end up not fitting or getting lost in the mail or something dumb like that. Maybe they have something similar at Wal-Mart (hey ya never know right?)
And thanks again for the welcome! :D
Underworks is pretty good about letting you exchange sizes. And I can personally vouch for them being an honest, upstanding company. Can't make any claims for the USPS, though. ;)
I 2nd the haircut/earrings/glasses.
Also, lose the necklace.
But really, we're looking at shots that are only neck up. We can't judge 90% of you.
Quote from: Jamie-o on June 16, 2009, 08:52:04 AM
Underworks is pretty good about letting you exchange sizes. And I can personally vouch for them being an honest, upstanding company.
Second. :)
Ah, good ol' grainy webcam ;)
Agreeing with what others have said - haircut, different earring, different glasses.
There's quite a few sites out there full of handy passing tips. I reccomend doing a google search for things along the lines of "FTM Passing Guide" or "FTM Passing Tips" to get you started.
Heh, I'm starting to think we need a "How am I Passing Today?" megathread if this keeps up! :laugh:
Or people can stop expecting to pass as male without testosterone.
Yeah, kinda tough to get my hands on testosterone when I'm living at home, unemployed, and have no insurance cause the state was kind enough to take it away once I turned 18.
I think with the necklace it could go either way, it's a bone pendant surfer-type necklace and lotsa guys in FL wear them. :P
I'd love to go on T, but T ain't free.
Quote from: Khrist on June 16, 2009, 03:05:45 PM
Yeah, kinda tough to get my hands on testosterone when I'm living at home, unemployed, and have no insurance cause the state was kind enough to take it away once I turned 18.
I think with the necklace it could go either way, it's a bone pendant surfer-type necklace and lotsa guys in FL wear them. :P
I'd love to go on T, but T ain't free.
It ain't all that costly, either. Compared to the cost of supporting yourself, T is awfully cheap.
What everyone else said.
Also, don't do that dreadful pouty lip face in pictures, it only accentuates your lips and makes one instantly clock you as female.
Oh no! My lips are naturally big.... I'm afraid I can't help the "poutyness" unless I purse them...
Well perhaps just smile normally then? Show some puuuurly whites, it will shine away the poutyness.
Quote from: Asher on June 16, 2009, 06:58:31 PM
Well perhaps just smile normally then? Show some puuuurly whites, it will shine away the poutyness.
This is true! I got a smile like Cockmongler, it certainly does take away from my lips. Haha
Quote from: Mister on June 16, 2009, 12:57:06 PM
Or people can stop expecting to pass as male without testosterone.
There's a difference between "try" and "expect". People just want a few pointers. T is not "magic passing juice". There are many things regarding grooming, attire and mannerisms one can learn in the mean time.
Hi from a sister,
Your eye sockets are large emphasised by your eyebrows. I know you said they are not plucked maybe they need shapping in a more masculine line.
This may sound odd (what from Me!!). Try frowning a little to close down the open eyes. I suggest trying to suck in your lips as well. They do look very kissable :-*.
What the others have said. I think it was Mister who said a full body picture would help. You have quite rosy plump cheeks that look very nice but not very male. If you are not on T as yet get into some excercise you need to muscle up, and when you are on T it will muscle further.
Not meant to offend in anyway
Love
Cindy
With no offense intended, absolutely do not use the mensroom. That haircut is too cute for a boy.
Depending on what style of guy you want to be, lose the earrings entirely (other than making sure the holes don't close) and dress worse. Wear crew neck, not scoop or V. Purple is also not the most masculine color, neither are those stripes or styles. Not to say that anyone has to adhere to stereotypes but in the earliest stages of passing it helps. Later down the road you can bust out the bling and the rich purple silk shirts.
You'll most likely come across as much more of a gay woman than as a man, so take that into consideration and steel yourself to possible harassment.
Visit your local community college/university campus and look at what guys are wearing. Big dumb shoes, button up shirts open over a t shirt, jeans, or something similar will probably be what you see. Lots of black, and white, blue, basic, drabber colors with simple patterns or stripes.
You may also have a glbt support group at said campus where you could meet people and make connections for medical/therapy.
And talk to a counselor about enrolling in classes/financial aid/etc. Typically speaking if you are taking 9-12+ hours of college you can be enrolled in your parents' insurance plan until 23-25. If they have one, that is :/
Ah yes, physical. Adding as much muscle as possible and burning as much fat will help too, since fat fuels female figures. High protein, low fat diet with plenty of weight lifting and kissing the guns as the ladies pass.
edit: Okay, after some thought, you don't have to dress like a bum/college kid (same difference at times.) Mens suits are very form concealing, unlike womens suits that are darted and tapered and such. However, you can't wear a suit all the time. It's not appropriate.
Thanks for all the tips! Yeah, I suppose I do come off as a horrendously gay woman in public. :D
Fortunately no one's been rude to me about it, at least not in a way that offends me. (I do get called "young man" sometimes, but I take it as a compliment and acknowledgment of my effort.)
That polo shirt in the second pic is actually navy blue, and the first one is black with pin stripes.
I'll get a full body pic when I get ahold of a camera that doesn't suck. (The one attached to my laptop I have to be near the laptop to use, there's no timer or anything)
Maybe stick to the womens room until you start getting nasty looks in there.
When you do use a mens room, treat it like an in/out mission. Most guys go for the urinal for obvious reasons. Its not uncommon to go to the stalls. Be prepared for broken doors/locks, dirty seats, and little actual privacy. Dont forget to set your feet apart when you sit down. Most guys dont really try for eye contact when in the restroom. Washing your hands is usually optional, but no one looks at you funny if you do wash your hands. Feel free to ball up a fist and just tap down on those danged water knobs that only run for a few seconds, act like your squashing a bug and dont press it with your fingers. Dont hit it, just treat it with disdain. Hope this helps.
Quote from: VictoriaX on June 19, 2009, 03:20:00 AM
Maybe stick to the womens room until you start getting nasty looks in there.
When you do use a mens room, treat it like an in/out mission. Most guys go for the urinal for obvious reasons. Its not uncommon to go to the stalls. Be prepared for broken doors/locks, dirty seats, and little actual privacy. Dont forget to set your feet apart when you sit down. Most guys dont really try for eye contact when in the restroom. Washing your hands is usually optional, but no one looks at you funny if you do wash your hands. Feel free to ball up a fist and just tap down on those danged water knobs that only run for a few seconds, act like your squashing a bug and dont press it with your fingers. Dont hit it, just treat it with disdain. Hope this helps.
Lol. I'll never be able to look at bathroom taps quite the same way again. :D And do you know, I never even thought about sitting with legs spread. Thanks for the tips, Victoria.
Quote from: Jamie-o on June 19, 2009, 03:33:24 AM
And do you know, I never even thought about sitting with legs spread.
Neither did I. It did not occur to me there was another way to sit! :laugh:
Something else I read was to drop trousers to floor. It's gross, but it's the done thing. Only ladies leave their bottom attire up around their knees.
Oh, and mind the noise. Different equipment makes different noise. Practice being "ninja style quiet" at home... 'cause that... peeing noise? Yeah, bio-men don't do that.
Quote from: Teknoir on June 19, 2009, 05:34:17 AM
Neither did I. It did not occur to me there was another way to sit! :laugh:
Something else I read was to drop trousers to floor. It's gross, but it's the done thing. Only ladies leave their bottom attire up around their knees.
Lol, I remember my mom yelling at me when I was a little kid for dropping my pants all the way down to the floor in public restrooms: 'don't do that, then everyone can see your underpants!'
Quote from: Eryk on June 19, 2009, 11:43:15 AM
'don't do that, then everyone can see your underpants!'
My mother often tells me "Always wear clean underpants when you leave the house - you never know if you're going to be hit by a bus!"
Problem solved! :)
Quote from: Teknoir on June 19, 2009, 02:20:20 PM
My mother often tells me "Always wear clean underpants when you leave the house - you never know if you're going to be hit by a bus!"
Problem solved! :)
I never understood that saying?
Can someone explain it to me because it's never made sense to me.
Quote from: Monty on June 19, 2009, 03:38:47 PM
I never understood that saying?
Can someone explain it to me because it's never made sense to me.
I always thought it was literal? Women own a lot of underwear...
"Always wear clean underpants when you leave the house - you never know if you're going to be hit by a bus!"
I asked my mom to explain that one once. She said: "well, if the paramedics have to cut off your clothes, you don't want them to see your dirty underpants." I would think everyone concerned would have bigger worries than underwear if someone was hit by a bus, but OK...
Quote from: Eryk on June 19, 2009, 05:23:38 PMI would think everyone concerned would have bigger worries than underwear if someone was hit by a bus, but OK...
Trust me, they don't care. They've seen much worse.
I expect they're just glad if you're wearing underwear at all. ;)
Quote from: Eryk on June 19, 2009, 05:23:38 PM
She said: "well, if the paramedics have to cut off your clothes, you don't want them to see your dirty underpants." I would think everyone concerned would have bigger worries than underwear if someone was hit by a bus, but OK...
Funny... my mother explained it exactly the same way!
I would think that getting hit by the bus would cause one to dirty those once clean underpants...
Quote from: Teknoir on June 20, 2009, 01:50:38 AM
Funny... my mother explained it exactly the same way!
I would think that getting hit by the bus would cause one to dirty those once clean underpants...
I remember my mum saying the same thing and same explanation 50 yrs ago :laugh:
I'm also led to believe that in a serious accident one of the first things the body does is 'void' as a reflex.
Maybe it started with underwear salespeople.
Besides legs spread, pants on floor, weeing quietly. Don't talk. Deep cough. Clearing phlem from the throat. Never ever try and not fart, and do so in public. In fact anything gross :laugh:.
Don't check how you look in the mirror (if any).
Don't make eye contact, unless gay in a gay club.
My opinion only
Cindy
LOL@ the bus comment... Yeah, doesn't one void their bowels upon dying anyway? I'd think a prior cleaning would not really matter much in this event...
Haircut and glasses are too feminine, plus jewellery and pouty lips.
Sent from my F5281 using Tapatalk
Today I went to use the mens room and I had two guys (one on each side of me) taking a number 2. Pants to the floor and they were very loud sounds coming from their behinds. lol I pass 100% of the time and I rarely use the mens room cause I'm still getting used to it.
Quote from: Radar on June 19, 2009, 07:45:45 PM
Trust me, they don't care. They've seen much worse.
I can vouch for that.
I second not using the men's bathroom until you start running into issues with the women's room. I didn't switch until I had several encounters with women either double checking the room they walked into or actually asking me if I was in the right restroom. I think once you get to that level you pass well enough that men won't pay close attention to you.
I second losing the earrings, and you may want to get some square rimmed glasses, partly because it's in fashion with men at the moment and partly because you want as many angles on your face as possible to offset the roundness you'll have until you've been on T for a while.
This thread is over six years old. The OP probably has different glasses by now.