Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi y'all, BigLover here, haven't posted here in a while-

The title of this thread don't really speak for itself but i'm a member at this other forum... I'm not going to say where and what it pertains to but I am also a member at that site.

I have two pictures of "myself" posted. By that I mean, I have two pictures posted of this girl I downloaded from myspace that looks just like me if i had my ideal body.

The resemblance is SOOOO shocking to me! I went to MySpace and found that girl with my ideal body. When I first saw her pictures I was like... NO WAY!  :o

I'm serious people, SHE has my ideal body!!!! SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE ME!  :o The only diffrernces, the skin isn't dark enough, the lips are off, and her eyes are too wide. Other than that, she has the thickness, big breasts, dark skin, etc.

My point of this;
I wanted to feel like I'm actually her! Not the girl from myspace but I meant I wanna feel like a girl with her ideal body!

I've been chatting with people on that site as a female and i feel kind of guilty decieving everyone but i will not blow my cover, i will not post a face picture, and I will not, I repeat, blow my cover! Only I and you guys need to know the truth.

But no matter how far I go with this and no matter how many people think i am or actually treat me like a female there will always be one thing missing in itself... my ideal body... ... ... >:( Unfortuantely for me that's a fantasy that will never come true unless in one of the future lifetimes (hopefully the next but that all depends on what God has instore for me).

But until then, I am her in my subconsicous dream fantasy world and on that site.

Honestly, I've felt like you so many times before.  Although I've never used a photograph of someone and said it was myself.  I would however always say I was female, and chat as female.  If someone asked for  a picture, I would give them a drawing nothing more.  I'd make up some excuse as to why I don't have photos.  My SO has in the past told certain people that I am "male" she didn't understand back then...  That has changed however.  Although I will never have my IDEAL body I will work with the one I have been given, as all women must.  I simply hope that one day when I am dead, I will go to whatever there is for an afterlife and have my ideal body.  Or perhaps be reborn, a genetic female, and become a rock star (yea right) until then... there's always The Sims

P.S.
Although I have met a woman with my ideal body, hair style, and NAME!  I wanted to just... switch spots with her... but that can never happen.  Ever feel like if there is a god, you got screwed and it put you in the wrong body, so instead of fixing things just gave someone else yours?

Quote from: Adrianna on June 20, 2009, 10:11:54 PM
Honestly, I've felt like you so many times before.  Although I've never used a photograph of someone and said it was myself.  I would however always say I was female, and chat as female.  If someone asked for  a picture, I would give them a drawing nothing more.

hahua cleaver!

QuoteI'd make up some excuse as to why I don't have photos.

What excuse did you tell them?

QuoteMy SO has in the past told certain people that I am "male" she didn't understand back then...

I'm quite confused by this post, your son? Is your son transgender? No offense...

Quotehas changed however.  Although I will never have my IDEAL body I will work with the one I have been given, as all women must.

Transgenders that is...

QuoteI simply hope that one day when I am dead, I will go to whatever there is for an afterlife and have my ideal body.  Or perhaps be reborn, a genetic female, and become a rock star (yea right) until then... there's always The Sims

I hope the same thing! Except the Rock Star thing... Until then, for me it's my lifelong Second Life project... see one of my first posts.

QuoteP.S.
Although I have met a woman with my ideal body, hair style, and NAME!  I wanted to just... switch spots with her... but that can never happen.  Ever feel like if there is a god, you got screwed and it put you in the wrong body, so instead of fixing things just gave someone else yours?

Ohh... sorry to hear about that... b/c i cna only image if that happened with me... at least the myspace girl diesn't have the name. but she had those braids/dreads and she doesn't have the EXACT features.

SO= Significant Other. In my case my wife.

When she found out I was talking as a female online to people, she outed me a few times. That issue has been resolved however.

Excuses I used for the photo thing include but are not limited to; "I just got a new computer and haven't been able to scan anything into it yet", "My scanner is broken", "No offense meant to you, however, I do not trust having pictures of me online... you never know what someone might do to them... or me!"

Not just transgenders must work with the body they are given. Many born women must put up with less than ideal bodies.  TG or not, all humans are limited to the same courses of action when trying to get to their ideal body...

Quote from: Adrianna on June 20, 2009, 10:49:10 PMNot just transgenders must work with the body they are given. Many born women must put up with less than ideal bodies.  TG or not, all humans are limited to the same courses of action when trying to get to their ideal body...

I think it's often said that even beautiful women think their imperfections are 10x worse than they actually are.

Quote from: BigLover on June 20, 2009, 10:44:16 PM
Ohh... sorry to hear about that... b/c i cna only image if that happened with me... at least the myspace girl diesn't have the name. but she had those braids/dreads and she doesn't have the EXACT features.

Although she was a bit older than me, her features were exact.  I wanted to cry.  Here I am staring at her in disbelief as she walks into my store and the next thing I know she's asking ME for help!  I end up selling her a few things, some of which had to be ordered into the store, all the while thinking "My god woman you don't know how lucky you are, how could you get MY body" I mean she even had black hair with red tips, bangs swept over her right eye.... how I always draw myself! So I'm copying down her information and I'm like "May I have your name please? First name will be enough."
"Adrianna"
There was a long pause on my end as I slowly wrote down A-d-r-i-a- paused, I thought "No there is no way, I mean creepy yes but I've never seen or heard of it spelled how I do... best ask" and so with another pause I tried my best smile and said,
"If you don't mind my asking, is that with one 'N' or two?"
"Wow, you know your the first person to ever ask me that. I've only ever seen it with one, and it seems that's what everyone automatically thinks.  Maybe I'm a bit weird but I'm so happy you asked. It's two!"

I felt.... robbed

On the bright side, she wasn't wearing purple contacts...

A lot of women have a certain look they'd like to have but will never achieve.
It's fairly easy to spot 'pretenders' on the net though, to be honest. We get em here all the time.
If this figure or look is completely unattainable for you, it's unhealthy to dwell on it. It'd be better to find female images closer to your skin/body type. something you can strive for.

It may be unhealthy to dwell on it, but that doesn't make it hurt any less when you meet someone who is what you have dreamt of being your entire life.  I mean it's not like I saw someone and said "Wow I wish I looked like her!" which most people do. I had a image in my mind of what I should have looked like. Something completely original that I thought could never be duplicated.  I knew I would never actually look like that, but I figured the closest I can get is good enough for me.  Frankly I never thought anyone in the world would look exactly like what I had in mind.  When I saw her however, she looked like she had walked right out of my imagination... I just feel so... robbed.  I mean I don't let it get me down or anything, but I can't help but feeling now that my soul was simply dropped in the wrong body.

QuoteIt may be unhealthy to dwell on it, but that doesn't make it hurt any less when you meet someone who is what you have dreamt of being your entire life.  I mean it's not like I saw someone and said "Wow I wish I looked like her!" which most people do. I had a image in my mind of what I should have looked like.

Same here. I'll tell you what's unhealthy, I think I'm doing something really sick... I speant a lot of time on that board... posting faceless pics of various girls that look like me, getting attention, getting creepy catcalls by all these men (i like women and wish i got all the attention from them)

I mean- I just wanted to be my idealself and i find the place where people can think of me as this woman!

QuoteSomething completely original that I thought could never be duplicated.  I knew I would never actually look like that, but I figured the closest I can get is good enough for me.  Frankly I never thought anyone in the world would look exactly like what I had in mind.  When I saw her however, she looked like she had walked right out of my imagination... I just feel so... robbed.  I mean I don't let it get me down or anything, but I can't help but feeling now that my soul was simply dropped in the wrong body.

I feel robbed too. I wish i could just take that girl and switch bodies with her. She's a year older than me though...

Yeah, it is sad, isn't it?

Oh well, I guess we all have to deal with it...

However, if I was you, Adrianna, I'd feel heartbroken. It's like the gods are laughing at you, huh?

Quote from: Heartwood on June 21, 2009, 03:30:52 PM
Yeah, it is sad, isn't it?

Oh well, I guess we all have to deal with it...

However, if I was you, Adrianna, I'd feel heartbroken. It's like the gods are laughing at you, huh?

Right on the nose my friend, right on the nose. 

Thank you for reaffirming why I will not post photos of myself online. 

BL, quit being deceptive and using someone else's photos.

QuoteThank you for reaffirming why I will not post photos of myself online. 

BL, quit being deceptive and using someone else's photos.

LOL! I blacked out the face!

and if u read my first post, i wanted people to be convince that i am a female and i suscessfully did so!

Quote from: BigLover on June 21, 2009, 09:32:17 PM
LOL! I blacked out the face!

and if u read my first post, i wanted people to be convince that i am a female and i suscessfully did so!

It's still not a photo of yourself.  Passing off someone else's photo as your own is deception.  period.

My avatar is me, but there is a change.  Anyone notice?   No......  And as far as the net is concerned I am me to anyone.

Janet