I know I looked at myself and thought I should be a boy growing up so I posted in the trans section, but there is more to it. As a child "down there" just didn't seem right to me. It looked odd and funny. I've had many surgeries throughout my life and was born 3.5 months premi (not sure if that affects things or not). Was in the hospital almost the first year of my life and I don't really know what all went on.
All my life my mom always gave me a bowl of pills every morning and wouldn't tell me what some of them were for. Genitals are female. Pelvic region is low/small. I am completely straight and not curvy at all. Very muscular. Small chested. (not to stereotype) mentally more male brain oriented (math/science/not show emotion), etc. Thought I should be a boy and something was off.
Well at 16/17 my mom took me to the endo. because I was having hormone issues and not just estrogen/testosterone levels. My pituitary gland is underdeveloped or squished and they couldnt figure out which. The tests results came back as having much higher testosterone than a female should. The doc. said I could take estrogen if I wanted, but it was up to me. Since I didn't want to have children soon it was ok and it wouldn't affect my health without it. I refused to take it and left without a script.
Well, I just found out my mom secretly put estrogen hormones in my food for years behind my back. That is messed up in so many ways, but it leads me to question the rest of my life and if I was born intersexed in any way. Just my entire life seems fishy and questionable and I can't believe a word my mom says because she's had so many lies about her life and my life that I find the truth about from other sources.
Is there anyone I should talk to about this medically or would finding all medical records help with finding things out? I've been to so many doctors throughout my life and had so many surgeries that I don't know where to start!
It would seem that you are in the USA, begin with your current doctor. They are your records and you have a right to see them. Find out who you were seeing before then. If it is in the records that would be the next step.
And confront your Mother, you have a right to know. Research your birth in the state you were born in. There is always a paper trail.
Good luck Hon.
Janet
Wow, that's all very creepy, Loghan. Very creepy. o.o
Logan,(I like you name by the way, very strong) as I read you story,
I could not help but think how similiar it sounded to the story of a person
I used to know, who was born intersexed. I'm not saying that you were also
but because of your Mom's efforts to keep the details of your youth from you
and her secretly lacing your food with estrogen, I suspect this might be the case.
If it turns out that it is true that you were born different, don't judge you Mom
to harshly. She was probably coerced by a man, with letters after his name,
into this course of action. He most likely told her, he could FIX you. After all,
how could an all knowing doctor be wrong in these matters?
Are you familiar with a book titled,
"As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised As A Girl"
It is the tragic story of David Reimer. He was not born intersexed but was
the victim of a botched circumcision and was further victimized by a series of
quack doctors throughout his life. His mother was also victimized, in that she
was convinced by the doctors, that David could be transformed into a girl through
surgery and hormone therapy. Sadly they were all proven horribly wrong,
because David always KNEW within himself that he was not a girl,
no matter how they tried to convince him differently.
It might be useful, in your search for the truth, to obtain a copy of this book,
read it for yourself and then give it to your Mom. If you haven't discussed your
Gender Dysphoria with her, don't be afraid to bring the subject up because considering
that she has been lacing your food with estrogen she most likely knows your
having gender issues. No matter what, you have the absolute right to know
exactly what medical procedures have been performed on you and why!
Welcome to Susan's and I wish you luck in
your quest and happiness in your life.