(There Here Be Nonsensical Rant)
I may be doing something kinda silly, I think...
See, I believe it's a good idea to let people, any people, know my inner status. Like, if I feel sad, I look sad. If I feel happy, I look happy. I try to be as transparent as possible.
I believe this is a good idea because I hope to alleviate / remove all kinds of mindgames we play.. Like, "Are you mad?" "NO." and stuff.
So if I am, I just say so. Sometimes it's hard.
So, being that I am (among other things) an andorgyne, I take special care when introducing myself... I am Zaddy.
Zaddy is short of ZaidaZadkiel.
This is a very internety thing, I think.
But I still feel so strongly identified with that name, I do wish to be recognized with it. I don't really care that it's not my given name.
So, when I introduce myself to people in meatspace, I say "Hello, I am Zaddy".
Peope have made jokes saying "Sadic"... Sadism is the only word which starts with "sadi-", and well... I must admit I am sometimes a bit of a sadist, lol
But anyway.
Almost everybody has accepted that without much trouble. "Oh, Zaddy. Ok"
And when people inquir more, I explain "It's short of Zaida and Zadkiel"
"But isn't Zaida a girl's name?"
And I brush my long hair, with my hand with long, painted nails, and I say, "Yes."
And that settles it.
This has been very interesting, but it has a bit down sides aswell... Since I am implying femenine-ness, even tho I don't really act "gay" (Well, a bit. But I haven't heard comments regarding that...), only TWO times I've had people question more "deeply" ... And they were older men. And I ended up having sex with them, lol... I'm such an easy lay >_<
But I don't mind. They were good people.
Anyway.
Guys who are otherwise homophobic, don't really find me threathening, for some reason.
Last year I was living with two guys who are very homophobic and the kind of people who get into fist fights and so... Classical "alpha male" stuff. And they accepted me, even tho I was at the time complete crap at, well, everything...
I could barely survive on my own, lol
And so on.
I find this kinda strange.
Specially because people always go like "omgs he's gay ohnos!"
And some guys like to do "cat calls" (word?), making fun of them...
Well, a side-effect of me being transparent, is that offensive remarks are completely useless against me...
Because I know exactly what I am and how I feel, so when people say something offensive, I just say "No that's not true", or if it is, "Well, yes, that's correct".
And I smile a lot, too.
So... I like doing that.
But, do you think I might be being "naive" or risking getting myself in trouble, for being so transparent ?
It's not like I try to push it on everybody, the opposite, I'm very reserved, so unless somebody asks, I'll only say the bare minimum...
...
Well, that was just rambling, and kinda pointless.
Uhm, so if there's anything you find interesting from what I said... comments ? questions?
Yeah, sorry for that...
As for your names, you've just been mingling with the wrong groups. Zadok should be familiar to Jews. It's a Biblical name that means righteous. Zadkiel comes from the same root and means something like "God is my righteousness".
Zaida, on the other hand, is an Arabic name that means fortunate. I had to look that one up, but my internet source indicates that it ranks among the top 100 names in U.S. census records.
Reading your postings, I just assumed you had Middle Eastern roots.
L'shalom,
S
My name means "alternate side of the street parking for street cleaning" in some forgotten language.
I've seen two translations of the word Miniar...
in spanish it's "to paint red" and in ancient tibetan it's "the hidden one"
I like the later.... And in taking that name I see it as a sort of revealing of that part of "me" that which I've hidden for so long.
I do the transparency thing too. I think it's a good thing because it does remove a lot of misunderstanding. And smiling and being friendly will probably prevent more negative reactions than being defensive. :)
...I forget what Jaimey means (or James, really), but my first and middle names can mean 'wealthy' and 'bitter' respectively...that makes me giggle. (if you accept that Marie comes from Mary which would come from Miriam...the Biblical origins rather than Latin...it would mean 'sea' if you take the Latin root)