Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Real-Life Experience => Topic started by: K8 on July 02, 2009, 09:24:07 AM

Title: An Ugly Woman
Post by: K8 on July 02, 2009, 09:24:07 AM
I went to my sister's anniversary celebration.  My brother-in-law's neice is a professional photographer and can take some wonderful pictures.  I just saw the pictures she took that day.  Of the three that include me, I thought: "Gad, but I make an ugly woman.  My family and friends are so kind to be willing to be seen with me!"

But then I realized that in the phrase "an ugly woman" the word "ugly" is not the operative word.

I always knew I would never be a handsome prince.  I'm just delighted to be a female frog. ;)

- Kate
Title: Re: An Ugly Woman
Post by: Miniar on July 02, 2009, 09:42:17 AM
^^
Someone, somewhere, think's you're beautiful, because beauty's a matter of taste. Just cause you don't find yourself pretty doesn't mean others won't.

But you're right, you caught the right word. It's not about "ugly" or "pretty" it's about the woman you are, and seeing a woman in those photos, regardless of your personal opinion, that must be absolutely awesome!

I'm not there yet, I know I don't pass, but one day....
:)
Title: Re: An Ugly Woman
Post by: LordKAT on July 02, 2009, 05:30:26 PM
Uh Kate, this is just my opinion but,  I thought you were a very enticing woman if the pic as your avatar is you.  The words you share in this forum have done nothing but increase my thought that your beautiful. Sorry if this doesn't count coming from an old man. well maybe not that old.(48)
Title: Re: An Ugly Woman
Post by: sneakersjay on July 02, 2009, 06:03:30 PM
You are NOT UGLY!!!  You're self-conscious, like 99.9% of women.  Have confidence!  And that goes for all you ladies.  ;D
Title: Re: An Ugly Woman
Post by: paxcow on July 02, 2009, 06:53:04 PM
Quote from: LordKAT on July 02, 2009, 05:30:26 PM
Uh Kate, this is just my opinion but,  I thought you were a very enticing woman if the pic as your avatar is you.  The words you share in this forum have done nothing but increase my thought that your beautiful. Sorry if this doesn't count coming from an old man. well maybe not that old.(48)

I agree. I was actually just thinking the other day how pretty you looked in your avatar.
Title: Re: An Ugly Woman
Post by: Tammy Hope on July 02, 2009, 07:04:29 PM
I have to say I never got the "ugly" mindset you have either.

Especially for, and I don't mean this to temper my enthusiasm, a person of your years. I think you win on several points:

First, there is no lingering "manishness" as far as i can see from the pics
Second, you look early-mid-50's at most in that pic
Third, you are not at all ugly. You are not a cover girl (few of us ever will be - but I don't think one man in 100 over 50 would look at you and have the word ugly ever cross his mind.

One of the things we all talk about here, in some sense or other, is being a "legitimate" woman appearance wise - that is, that if you walked through a crowd of folks who'd never met you before, virtually no one would remotely have reason to wonder about your gender. the presentation would be accepted as a given.

I only have your av to go by but from what I can see you have that nailed.
Title: Re: An Ugly Woman
Post by: K8 on July 02, 2009, 08:17:04 PM
Well, you all are making me blush.  *blush*  I really wasn't fishing for compliments, although compliments are always welcome. ;)

(And yes, the avatar is me. :))

If I can manage this right, here is one of the pictures I was referring to, cropped to remove my nephew and his wife:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fvagabird.smugmug.com%2Fphotos%2F580494507_dfTW6-O.jpg&hash=306cdb1ea64aa4ac1eb8508d0d0a5d56a1b7e575)

- Kate

Post Merge: July 02, 2009, 08:18:27 PM


PS: I really like your new glasses, Minitar sir!
Title: Re: An Ugly Woman
Post by: Alyx. on July 02, 2009, 08:24:18 PM
Quote from: Miniar on July 02, 2009, 09:42:17 AMI'm not there yet, I know I don't pass, but one day....
:)
...You don't?

...Who's that man in your avitar then?!?

(P.S. My Avi has a picture of me in it, do you all think I'm pretty? Sometimes I worry I'm ugly and I don't think I pass that well... =( )
Title: Re: An Ugly Woman
Post by: Tammy Hope on July 02, 2009, 09:52:06 PM
Quote from: K8 on July 02, 2009, 08:17:04 PM
Well, you all are making me blush.  *blush*  I really wasn't fishing for compliments, although compliments are always welcome. ;)

(And yes, the avatar is me. :))

If I can manage this right, here is one of the pictures I was referring to, cropped to remove my nephew and his wife:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fvagabird.smugmug.com%2Fphotos%2F580494507_dfTW6-O.jpg&hash=306cdb1ea64aa4ac1eb8508d0d0a5d56a1b7e575)

- Kate

Post Merge: July 02, 2009, 08:18:27 PM


PS: I really like your new glasses, Minitar sir!

Ok, ok...I'll give you this just because I want people to know if I compliment them it is sincere.

It is a valid point that the 3/4 view is kinder to you than the profile.

I still am not going to go to "ugly" but I know how critical i am of photos of me, so I can at least understand why you'd feel unflattered by that photo.

Still, I'd say it's a highly credible female presentation and I know that's most important to you.
Title: Re: An Ugly Woman
Post by: Miniar on July 03, 2009, 06:41:07 AM
Thanks :) I love 'em too.. it was time to change anyways so the breaking of the old ones was a blessing in disguise..

On that picture, I see a woman. In fact, your appearance is a little like my mum's... 'cept she's a bleach blond (and gray as a mule under that).
And that woman is a fox, even if she's passed 60,.. it's partially because she smiles and carries herself well... which is half the point actually. Beauty is two things... the opinion of the beholder, and the attitude of the beautiful...
I don't think you're ugly at all, so you are at the very least half way there.
Title: Re: An Ugly Woman
Post by: colormyworld on July 03, 2009, 07:52:59 AM
*looks around thread trying to find ugly woman*  I don't see any in here!

What I see is a woman that wasn't ready for a the picture/photographed at an awkward time (looks like you might have been talking when the photo was snapped?). If I had a nickel for every photo of me that will never see the light of day again, I'd be rich! I'm sure everyone has quite a few of those floating around!

Or have you ever paused a DVD and in that still shot the actor was frozen in a very unflattering pose? Same type of thing!
Title: Re: An Ugly Woman
Post by: K8 on July 03, 2009, 08:04:41 AM
Thanks Laura and Miniar.  It is an unflattering angle, and the lighting doesn't help either.  I really appreciate your not saying something silly. ;)  I just need to get used to the fact that I passed 60 some years ago and will never look like 40 again.  (That's a tough one for me. :P)

Anyway, my original point was that I'm learning to think of myself as a woman and am beginning to actually see a woman when I see a picture of myself.  I think that we see each other through a lens of our history with that person, so the longer you've known someone one way the longer it can take to revise your image of them when you see them.  (That's one reason family can be slow to come around.)  And who has seen me longer than me? :D

Oops, I'm starting to ramble here. :)

*hugs*
Kate

Post Merge: July 03, 2009, 08:08:09 AM

And thanks, Colormywold, too.  (Our posts crossed in cyberspace.)  I know pictures can catch even the most gorgeous in awful positions.  I just need to be reminded. ::)  Thanks.  - K
Title: Re: An Ugly Woman
Post by: sneakersjay on July 03, 2009, 03:50:22 PM
Kate, you're past 60?!  I never would have guessed.  None of us will ever see 20 or even 40 again (I'm past that, too!)  Receding hairline, here I come!!



Jay

P.S.  Maybe when I'm not rushing off to work I could PM you a VERY UNFLATTERING pic of me in female mode.  <GAG!>