I am not having much success in wearing female clothes and not drawing attention. I want to shift my clothing slowly so that no one notices. I did wear a business woman's wool white pants to work and got no comments. They looked good and got no reaction. That was perfect.
How can people shift gradually so that no one notices?
Perhaps shift to a more unisex look, but clothing is pretty gender marked in most people's eyes.
I have worn women's jeans and tee shirts in public without comment. Some shirts are gender neutral while others are very feminine. You might try wearing a woman's oxford style shirt. It is definitely feminine but it may not attract all that much attention. It is harder to find shoes that are more unisex. Sandals or sneakers could work. I have a pair of women's leather sandals that I wear all the time in the summer. They are definitely unisex.
Louise
Same as above suggestions - Just start shopping in the women's section, but avoid anything that's clearly female. A lot of women's jeans and shirts are the same style as men's. Then slowly work up to more feminine styles and colors. Just wearing clothes made for women should make you feel a little more comfortable.
You can look in many clothing catalogs or fashion magazines and find clothing that doesn't draw much attention. The kind of stuff you normally wouldn't pay attention to. Probably no one else does either. I'm not sure why it matters if others pay attention or not.
For me, when I went full time I left work on vacation for a week as male. Returned after as female and have never been seen as male again.
But I used to wear female lingerie under my male clothes.
Janet
Louise wrote, "You might try wearing a woman's oxford style shirt."
Good idea. I have been wearing male sateen shirts in different colors. They look nice. A woman's Oxford should work. Women's sneakers are long enough but not wide enough.
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Nero I am quite self conscious to shop in the female section of department stores. Catalogs are difficult because my size is not standard.
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Genevieve wrote, "I'm not sure why it matters if others pay attention or not."
Because I look like a male and have a high probability of getting fired.
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Janet wrote, "But I used to wear female lingerie under my male clothes."
I have been wearing a sports bra for a couple of years because it hurts if I do not. As long as you don't get arrested no one sees your undies so that is acceptable to do what you want. ::)
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People now think I have turned "super" gay. The teenage minority boys will outright ask me if I am gay. They also will touch me. Several are inappropriate and rude. I do look different. I would like to move slowly and let everyone adjust. Maybe I don't have to lose everything.
Womens' clothing, if you don't go for frills, lace, and extra skin exposure, is basically like mens' except more form fitting with less room in the shoulders and more in the hips/ass. And darting at the breasts/waist to add shape. With the buttons/etc on the opposite side.
You may be able to find simple, plain button down shirts and slacks that fit you alright. But keep in mind that they are shaped for someone who has an ass and breasts, especially as you go up into the larger sizes where it's more pronounced. Try Lands End for prudish female professional attire :v
And try leather professional styled loafers and other slipon shoes. if you shop online, like at shoebuy.com, overstock, zappos (in particular), etc you can often find a wide range of sizes available for shoes with good shipping/return policies.
Quote from: Wendy on July 16, 2009, 11:07:44 AM
I am not having much success in wearing female clothes and not drawing attention. I want to shift my clothing slowly so that no one notices. I did wear a business woman's wool white pants to work and got no comments. They looked good and got no reaction. That was perfect.
How can people shift gradually so that no one notices?
i don't exactly understand the question because, oh lordy, they *do* notice!
Quote from: Wendy on July 16, 2009, 11:07:44 AM
I am not having much success in wearing female clothes and not drawing attention. I want to shift my clothing slowly so that no one notices. I did wear a business woman's wool white pants to work and got no comments. They looked good and got no reaction. That was perfect.
How can people shift gradually so that no one notices?
It is an interesting question.
About 5 years ago, when I just started wearing women's clothes, all of them were not obviously feminine.
I just wore plain jeans and jackets in those days. My hair was no so long.
In fall, 2004, I noticed that young women tended to watch my stretchable blue jeans I purchased at $20 in Wal mart. In a supermarket, I strolled in lanes to find something, probably milks for my new born daughter. A young caucasian woman sat there to argue with her little toddler. She happened to be next to me. Then she began to look my jeans from the bottom, and finally looked up to my face. It took 3 or 5 seconds. She seemed amazed, but I am not certain I was a male to her.
A few days later, my Korean male friend told that he saw a physically outstanding person in a mall. He did not mention whether the person was he or she, but said that he had never seen any person whose jeans are so match well her/his legs in the U.S. Finally, he said after carefully looking the person, he was surprised that it was me. I asked whether I looked like a man or woman, but he did not explicitely answer it. Instead, he said that I looked nice whatever my gender is.
Also, other people used to comment on my wearing stretachable blue jeans, usually mentioning my waist size.
However, I still do not know why people in the US gave so much attention to my plain blue jeans of US women's size 6. I still sometimes wear them in here (Korea), but no so many people paid attention to them. Until now, no comment on the same jeans. I guess the reason is that the blue jeans are too plain here whereas they could emphasize my waist line in the U.S.
Because of this reason, nowadays I try to purchased pants that can attract people here, for example, skinny jeans.
Photos of my wearing stretchable jeans about 5 years ago:
https://www.susans.org/forums/MGalleryItem.php?id=1779 (https://www.susans.org/forums/MGalleryItem.php?id=1779)
https://www.susans.org/forums/MGalleryItem.php?id=1780 (https://www.susans.org/forums/MGalleryItem.php?id=1780)
I still think the jeans look too ordinary.
Barbie~~
Autumn I go for the granny look. However the form fitting look nicer because I do have a waist. Pants tend to be difficult because I do not have a behind or hips. I do have big legs so that the right cut looks good and professional.
At work I wear my jacket from morning until night. I can wear use some beautiful ties which usually get compliments. The Jerry Garcia collection is really nice.
..............
Ell wrote, "i don't exactly understand the question because, oh lordy, they *do* notice!"
Hi Ell. Hope you have been well! The educated adults have yet to say one word to me. They just say I look good and I look different. However several poor inner city minority males take about 5 seconds to get in my face to make a comment. Most of the inner city females are very nice to me.
Ell I would prefer everyone knew so that I would not have to hide all day.
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Barbie your pics look great. My measurements are 40B/C-33-39 (which is good for me but very male except for the B/C) . You are 35-27-36 if I were to guess. You have a nice thin female figure.
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My girlfriend goes around in conservative female clothing. She has a male face but beautiful hair and once in a while someone gets confused. However she could care less what people think. She is out and goes by her male name. She is very comfortable with herself. That is nice.
I am trying to find a way to move off of center but at a snail's pace.
Women's polo shirts and caro capri pants are good. Jeans and T-shirts as well.
There's no such thing as people, "not noticing."
You're switching from one extreme to another and society isn't at the point yet where it readily accepts in betweens.
Annwyn wrote, "There's no such thing as people, "not noticing."
You're switching from one extreme to another and society isn't at the point yet where it readily accepts in betweens."
People notice something but I think they guess wrong. I am accepted by many as an in between but they address me as sir. I will ask a couple of girlfriends to help me shop.
If you want to wear girls clothing then wear girls clothing. If you're gonna shop for girls clothes so you can look like a guy, then you're wasting your money.
Socks. Scarves (the winter kind). That's about it.
The elephant/waterfall scene in your avi reminds me of bukakke.
Disturbing.
Annwyn when you wear girl's clothing you look like a girl. When I wear girl's clothing I look like a guy in girl's clothing. Most of the older folks that I know in the support groups lost their wife, job and house. Many are well educated and talented and as soon as they walk into an interview the interview is over.
The chairperson at the training session on Sunday said, "If I knew how tough it would be I am not sure I would have transitioned. However I am happier when it was over." She is still friends with her ex and she rebuilt her business.
My relationship is much different with my wife but we are still best friends. I now work a new job as a male. I would most likely be fired if I push the envelop too far.
However society does accept some things. These days you can be a "different" male. Therefore I keep pushing the envelop. I look very different than I did four years ago.
I will try my way of doing things because it is my life. Yes I have wasted a lot of money. Your input is very accurate
I see a lot of good ideas and I will continue to waste my money. I will slowly find my way and will do it my way. Maybe I can keep a job. Maybe I will keep my wife. Maybe even a few friends will stay but probably not. I have new friends.
Oh well. If you own your own business then you're much better off than I am. I can only blow about 1000 a week on clothes, you probably have more money than that to dispose of.
Quote from: Annwyn D'Fenwyr on July 20, 2009, 11:52:53 AM
Oh well. If you own your own business then you're much better off than I am.
If I own my own business, then I will get more money as I can attract so many people. As an employee in a large government institution, I should follow some implicit rules which are vague but still valid.
In my home town, nearly everybody knows me and some people joke that I may have better run for a local politician.
As I have been a natural scientist, my changing job would not happen. But, if I want transition, then I would consider run my own business to be independent.
Barbie~~
No I'm willing to bet that most self-employed people are more responsible and have more obligations than to blow $52000 a year on clothing.
The Seventies look was fantastic. Polyester suits, bells, zipper boots , pageboys, and lots of gold chains. Pete Rose had this look down to a "T".
Quote from: Annwyn D'Fenwyr on July 20, 2009, 01:13:17 AM
The elephant/waterfall scene in your avi reminds me of bukakke.
Disturbing.
Wow you are really perverted. :o :o :o
I thought the same thing first time I saw it :laugh:
Quote from: Wendy on July 19, 2009, 10:23:31 AM
Hi Ell. Hope you have been well!
i have been well, tt. it is good to hear that you are working. congratulations.
No one is touching this. Was Pete Rose a gender outlaw?
Quote from: xsocialworker on July 27, 2009, 09:10:49 PM
No one is touching this. Was Pete Rose a gender outlaw?
Pete Rose is in a different league than many of us. He was and remains an extrovert with a lot of money and fame. He messed up with his gambling but was a colorful character that could do what he wanted. Famous people can and do push gender bounds. Rock stars do many things that are accepted by their fans but "average Joes" could not do the same things without negative feedback. Even different ethnic groups can do various gender things that are not accepted by other ethnic groups. Stud diamond earrings are straight male for some ethnic groups and not straight male for other ethnic groups. Yeah Pete Rose helps break the gender boundaries but he could get away with it. Society can and does impose a social death on those it deems outside of their accepted societal norms. Rock stars, movie stars and entertainers are allowed to be more expressive.
Gambling got him> Beside now he is fat and bald and the pink polyester suits, high heeled boots, and pageboy hair-cut are long gone :embarrassed:
Jeans for sure, also tank tops and t-shirts can go unnoticed, depending on the size you wear. Also, I wear women's sunglasses because I think they're more stylish.
Quote from: Jessica Who on July 30, 2009, 10:53:35 AM
Jeans for sure, also tank tops and t-shirts can go unnoticed, depending on the size you wear. Also, I wear women's sunglasses because I think they're more stylish.
I also wear women jean, and Tee's also solid color polo shirts, and never got a second look.
Jane L
Today I purchased a black blouse for women.
This week, I saw two ladies who wear a blouse in the street. One was wearing a dark blouse with trousers. She was so slim, and the plain blouse alone made her look so sexy to me.
Another lady was wearing yellow blouse with a knee high skirt. She was also so slim, and indeed looked sexy.
I checked whether summer blouses are a trend here, but it did not seem so. The two women looked sexy but still intelligent. They walked upright.
So, I purchased a plain blouse.
Barbie~~
Quote from: Jessica Who on July 30, 2009, 10:53:35 AM
Jeans for sure, also tank tops and t-shirts can go unnoticed, depending on the size you wear. Also, I wear women's sunglasses because I think they're more stylish.
I wear stylish blue female prescription glasses. I like them and get a lot of compliments for wearing them. It works and I am happy.
I like tank tops and t-shirts but I only wear an over-sized t-shirt over a button down. I have had mixed results in public when I try things that are dramatic.
I present male at work and my well educated friends are nice and they seem oblivious.
I wear girl's jeans all the time and no one says anything (although I don't wear the ones with the rhinestone lined pockets very often). They're more tight than the ones in barbie's pic, but not super tight. They're a little loose in the rear because i have no ass (sadly :().
For shoes you can definitely get away with wearing women's sneakers if you can find them in your size. I have the bizarre situation of wearing size 10.5 mens and size 10 womens. Yes you read that correctly :P.
Tops are harder -- I tend to go for the more obviously girly stuff so at the moment i don't really have anything that I could wear in boymode and not get looks for...
I guess if you guys are going the glasses route then I can go the shoes + earrings route.
Wear womens shoes every single day of my life. Of course, at work I wear tennis shoes so it doesn't really matter. Mens shoes don't fit by the way. All are to wide.
Wear womens earrings every single day.
Sometimes I wear a girdle.
The only thing anybody has ever commented on is my lavender colored umbrella. Everybody here mistakenly thinks its pink. I truely don't understand how humans got through the bottleneck back in prehistory. It must have been dumb luck or they actually listened to a transsexual instead of stoning them to death. Probably listened to the transsexual and then stoned them to death.
Quote from: Ketsy on August 04, 2009, 11:05:51 PM
For shoes you can definitely get away with wearing women's sneakers if you can find them in your size. I have the bizarre situation of wearing size 10.5 mens and size 10 womens.
Ketsy I wear a 10 wide men's sneaker. An 11 women's sneaker is long enough but not even a 12 will compensate for the width. I would wear women's sneakers if they were wide enough.
Quote from: ginger39 on August 04, 2009, 11:41:22 PM
Wear womens earrings every single day.
Sometimes I wear a girdle.
My family made a big deal about earrings so that I do not wear them.
I can wear a spandex corset. People think it is a back support. A lace corset would be great for waist training and dieting but my top gets too big and I am not able to hide the corset under the clothes during the day. In the winter I sleep with a lace corset to help train my waist and control my weight. It is uncomfortable at night but it works better than nothing to control my appetite.
................
By the way culturally clothes and styles change. Back in the 1800's military officers frequently corseted to be ramrod straight and keep a small waist when mounted on a horse.
Quote from: Wendy on July 19, 2009, 10:23:31 AMMy girlfriend goes around in conservative female clothing. She has a male face but beautiful hair and once in a while someone gets confused. However she could care less what people think. She is out and goes by her male name. She is very comfortable with herself. That is nice.
Quote from: Annwyn D'Fenwyr on July 19, 2009, 01:04:18 PMYou're switching from one extreme to another and society isn't at the point yet where it readily accepts in betweens.
Life doesn't have to be comprised of "extremes" Annwyn, life is what you make of it, indeed who is it we're trying to impress anyway? Being comfortable "within ones own skin" really is the whole point isn't it?
Being young you are still a slave to "norms & convention" but then again that's ok too, it's not yer fault and is something you will eventually get over!
Wendy and anyone else in Androgony land ............................... To start with, I'm 6-3 . I weigh bout 200 and I wear a size 12-13W . Im 20-22 top and 16-18 skirt or dresses. Oh I need at least a 33 " inseam as I simply refuse to wear the high water slacks that women wear these days . I beleive they're refered to as Capri Pants , (UGG ) You will see me around the cty in Shorts at a decent lenth, belted trousers, no elsastic waists. and " Men Style " womens shirts at work. Meanwhile I wear full womens underware and I wear Support hose or tights in the winter to help with poor blood circulation . See, I started as a Crossdresser but I knew all along I was trans . Still, Im good as a Professional driver so I dress apperoperatly. I'm always finding the Shirts at the better womens department stores that are Male looking . Stll , Im never questioned and I do work around a lot of Red- Neck types . As for shoes the lady that mentioned sport shoes is a good one . Try seeing what Payless. com has for sale too . Ellen Shaver
You can't go wrong with a well-fitting pair of stretch jeans and a nice ribbed turtleneck. I love this pair of jeans I bought on clearance from Newport New that has a sewn-in lycra pantie. But it's easy put together clothes like this. All my Ts come from the lady's side of the isle. I usually wear women's athletic shoes that aren't very gender defining. I find it very easy to find non-defining women's clothes.
I don't even own any men's underwear anymore. I'll often wear a bralette that adds a subtle chest protrusions when I'm going more andro. With careful shopping you can eventually find yourself essentially being a full-timer and not really appear to "cross dress". This has essentially been my how my sort of "transition" has happened over the years. I still associate with friends who see me as a man, but with my hair length/style and andro/womenswear clothes, I'm probably taken for a woman in public a good deal of the time, I think, even when I'm not actually trying.
Lyric
At school I always used to wear women's trousers and shirts to school and nobody noticed... You can totally wear women's tee's out too and they just look feminine, but I guess people kinda assume they're mens... funny that x]
Shoes too! Women's trainers are like way nicer than men's most of the time and more colourful [: You can always wear them and get away with it [: In fact, I don't think I even have any actual mens shoes... If I'm not crossdressed people just don't twig that they're womens [:
In my job I must look all male, so tights & panties under normal male trousers is as far as I can go. Weekends I wear leisure gear, and in the Summer, shorts. I have female shorts, which in dark colours look just shorter than mens' ones, and under a teeshirt walking my German Shepherd dog down our country road one lovely hot morning I attracted no attention. That was hardly 'coming out', though. I didn't seek to look at all feminine, I just like the feel of those short girly shorts.
I wear mostly all lasses Sports wear , Some people have looked at some of my clothes , but not said anything .
Also plenty of Fashionable Jeans/Tops out there now that wouldnt get you noticed .
Sally
Quote from: Maryteresa on August 30, 2009, 06:00:42 PM
In my job I must look all male, so tights & panties under normal male trousers is as far as I can go. Weekends I wear leisure gear, and in the Summer, shorts. I have female shorts, which in dark colours look just shorter than mens' ones, and under a teeshirt walking my German Shepherd dog down our country road one lovely hot morning I attracted no attention. That was hardly 'coming out', though. I didn't seek to look at all feminine, I just like the feel of those short girly shorts.
My girlfriend had to pay a fine at the courthouse and I went with her dressed in white female shorts and a dark blue short sleeve female shirt. This is fine however I also changed one under garment. Instead of wearing a sports bra I wore a good support bra. Hey the support bra is far more comfortable than the sports bra but it did cause undesired attention. No one made any "verbal" comments to me.
However the less self conscious you are the less people care.
Seriously, I have never known a GG in my entire life who wore a girdle or a corset except maybe several of my aunts who were born 100 or so years ago. (now deceased) . Other than Dilliard's, I have never even seen them for sale. I know that sometimes these things might be "bondage" tools. What I don't get (guess I'm stooopid) is the seeming appeal of garments that really aren't part of the average woman's wardrobe. I know that hose can disguise unshaved legs as many people living as men aren't able to shave them due to negative feedback. Maybe it's just me, but I looked forward to wearing women's clothes for the comfort in hot weather and the big thrill of tossing my ties, belts, black socks,and leather oxfords. I have lived in the South since 1971, so maybe my view is skewed.( Back in the day when I was working as a dude, dude's were required to be covered from neck to toes even in 100 degree weather. The women could wear t-shirts and mini's in the same workplace. Of course, women dressed like that didn't make management.)
I see corsets as a fashion statement in that kind of Goth thing at concerts from time to time, girdles almost never - but they are still around. And as long as McDonald's is making Big Macs, I'm sure they are not going away completely.
Cinchers and more mild corsets make good foundation pieces for dresses. Not spring or cocktail dresses, obviously though.
Corsets are great to control weight and slim the waistline. I have never worn them in the general public. I have never found anything that can better train the waist. I have not worn them at night for a year and my waist and weight have crept up.
I have worn cinchers under male clothes with few comments. A few times people thought I had a back brace. The problem with cinchers is that I will break the hooks quickly since I will cinch them tightly. They are expensive for me since they last only a month or two. If you season a good corset you will need to get a smaller one before it wears out if you try to train your waist.
Since the thrust of my thread is not to draw attention to yourself I would advise not to wear a female corset under your male clothes to work.
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I did wear a male yellow shirt to work with a white collar and a silk tie with a mosaic of colors. I got a lot of favorable comments from many people. I tried to find a male French blue Oxford button down shirt with a white collar and white cuffs but was unsuccessful. I could have a custom shirt created for $130 but opted out. I looked quickly in the female department and found many items that I liked but they would draw attention.
I have become an unusual mixture of male and female measurements. My arms remain long as a male's arms and will stay that way. My neck has fallen from XL to medium. My chest measurements would be medium for a male but due to other differences would better fit in a large male.
The female button downs I have seen had collars that were too small for a male tie and the sleeves were too short. A few female shirts that I liked were too frilly and would draw attention.
I did find a blue female Oxford button down that was suitable to wear to work but it was just plain boring. It had the buttons reversed on the left side and that was about the only difference.
I will need to work harder to move off the fence to which I am firmly affixed.
This is just a response to this forum and some responses in it.
From reading I got an idea I wouldn't have thought of myself--the idea of wearing women's jeans, with a plain top [bought on the women's side of the store] and flats. I dress at home and go out dressed occasionally to clubs but sometimes I just want to take a walk or go shopping, without needing all preparation. [I may take a walk dressed but wouldn't go to the store] So I bought a pair of jeans and some plain tops [I usually go for frilly things so this was a new thing]--tried these on, and the jeans definitely give some less than male curves. I went to the grocery store in the jeans, a mauve colored top and plain black flats [that have the click-click sound as you walk] and of course nobody looked twice, but there's a fem feeling to it. So I'm thinking I'll try out bolder statements when the urge hits. Work up from the basic 'plain jane' outfit like the above, then add in things like the flats I have that have bows on the toes, or a slightly more feminine blouse/top with hints of frills or something, a bracelet, etc. Kind of fun
On Friday I dressed for work in an XL Lady Hathaway black button down short sleeve shirt. I wore a pretty male silk tie with a blend of burgundy and red colors. A couple of male teachers gave me some snide comments and a couple of female students just said I was wearing a female shirt. I pushed the envelope but felt rather comfortable in my attire for "casual Friday" and left the door open to try other things.
On Saturday a girlfriend invited me to the SCC and I wore the same black female shirt and swapped the tie for a female necklace. I swapped male trousers for female pants and I swapped male shoes for female sandals. I also applied polish to my finger and toe nails. My undergarments were nice. It was a fun day and the people at the conference were all friendly.
Today I went in with a collared Land's End women's shirt that looks very much like a men's shirt, but with subtle differences (also a nicer, somewhat brighter blue color). I also wore a subtle necklace (necklaces matter to me).
Combine that with black slacks/black shoes, and the presentation was pretty male. It worked fine and I felt good.
Take a look at LLBean or Cabela's online catalogs. They have many pants, tops, shoes and coats that you can wear and enjoy the fit of women's clothes without looking overly female. My daily wardrobe is made up of clothes like these and I never seem to get a strange look.
i like ll beans newengland collection of female cloths the turtlenecks and sweaters can realy be uni just depends on the style i guess. you are much braver then me i wont dress out for work i need to keep this job for a while but i do were feminine undercloths its my comprimise. once i have ffs i will go full time im just not into hearing any more snide comments or underbreath inuendos good luck hun
jessica
Jeans...girls jeans are so trendy among the metrosexual/emo/scene guys now that no one gives it a second thought.
and no one can see your underwear if you have pants on!
well, to start with a trip to sears at about 5:30 pm on weekdays allows easy shopping and if creative u can try on outfits. Sears has nice womens blouses and slacks and with low heel black or brown oxfords you can be be wearing conservative womens clothes and feel great and feminine but not be in a hi- profile mode.
i have dont this with success.
Well I now have have gone to school in long female sweaters covering a male button down and tie. One student told me she likes my dress and she wears it with leggings. A couple of male teachers laughed at me.
I then got a pixie hair cut and all of my facial hair has been removed.
One male teacher said in ear shot that I am "flaming" gay. What is "flaming" gay? The male teacher that said that is just plain gay and 15 years my junior. I think he likes me.
You can do some things but it does get noticed.
Good for you, Wendy.
As you suggest, our attire is of course not a 'flaming' example of anything--except maybe the flamin right to wear whatever the !@@@! we want!~ If someone wants to 'interpret' this, let them.
I routinely wear women's jeans and women's loafers [2.5 inch heels that go clippety clop], with nude panty hose underneath and a bright colored top bought on the women's side of the store. While I wouldn't wear this to work, I don't now think twice about wearing it locally, in cafes or going to store, etc.
Quote from: Wendy on July 16, 2009, 11:07:44 AM
I am not having much success in wearing female clothes and not drawing attention. I want to shift my clothing slowly so that no one notices. I did wear a business woman's wool white pants to work and got no comments. They looked good and got no reaction. That was perfect.
How can people shift gradually so that no one notices?
Try taking up bike riding. You get to wear all this totally unisex lycra and get away with it. One thing I've always been envious of is women are able to wear tight fitting leggings and a nice top with nothing else. I think it looks great but society for some unknown reason doesn't like to see men doing this because their 'man bits' are showing. I dream of being smooth down there so I can proudly show off my legs in lycra leggings :)
On a more serious note, I do know what you are getting at. I too look very male and other than wearing pretty panties underneath I can't yet easily get away with wearing outwardly obvious female clothing. Until (or if?) I take HRT this is a real problem. I like some of the suggestions posted that suggest more androgynous but importantly, female clothing. At least you can feel more feminine without being too out there.
This is a very important issue, because self esteem is a major reason for all the internal conflicts I am going through. I for one don't need any more grief. The other vitally important issue which is hugely important to me is passing. I'm too fragile to be constantly challenged. That is part of the reason I'm not very good at cross dressing. I look in the mirror and instead of seeing the girl I think I am, I see a male. This is very confronting and makes me all the more self conscious if I go in public. It's a real catch 22 for me.
Alexie,
The hormones help, but some of us still look very male. A male nose remains a male nose even after hormones.
I got new pretty clothes but I could not wear them all at one time to work. I can blend a few pieces at a time and make a nice outfit and still keep my secret.
Over time the boundaries may fall. No less is clothing restricted so are colors. I got a nice long purple female sweater that I have not yet wore to work. :)
Quote from: Wendy on December 02, 2009, 07:53:15 PM
Alexie,
The hormones help, but some of us still look very male. A male nose remains a male nose even after hormones.
I got new pretty clothes but I could not wear them all at one time to work. I can blend a few pieces at a time and make a nice outfit and still keep my secret.
Over time the boundaries may fall. No less is clothing restricted so are colors. I got a nice long purple female sweater that I have not yet wore to work. :)
Wendy,
I'm so excited about the prospect of taking hormones and developing breasts, getting softer skin and getting my fat deposited in a more feminine pattern. Even getting a waist :) I still don't know whether I will go down that path, but it's wonderful to dream.
So I'm not sliding too far off topic. I might point out here that I got brave and shopped in the women's section of Target and bought myself a lovely pair of stretch shorts. I wear them over my panties and feel great, but most people are none the wiser. It's a start anyway.
Alexie
Quote from: Alexie on December 02, 2009, 09:18:17 PM
I'm so excited about the prospect of taking hormones and developing breasts, getting softer skin and getting my fat deposited in a more feminine pattern. Even getting a waist :) I still don't know whether I will go down that path, but it's wonderful to dream.
So I'm not sliding too far off topic. I might point out here that I got brave and shopped in the women's section of Target and bought myself a lovely pair of stretch shorts. I wear them over my panties and feel great, but most people are none the wiser. It's a start anyway.
Alexie
Alexie, you are not off topic at all. If you eat a good diet and take hormones the muscle mass will leave over time. Suddenly you can fit into clothes that you thought would never be your size. Many of my friends have modest breast development but I did fine in that area. Also I have a waist. My rear remains modest even for a male. In nice female clothing my figure is O.K. My figure would be that of an older female. The softness of my hands and skin on my face is equal or better than a female my age. I have less body hair than females so that I no long chaff and clothes can fit. Some female clothes just fit better than male clothes. However at the end of the day I still present male and when I do something that is out of the strict bounds imposed on males it draws attention. I have also found that if you can just shrug your shoulders and feel comfortable you can do some things. I do more than I thought I could.
Oh I feel uncomfortable shopping in the women's section of stores. I get some glances or giggles but no comments. ...And if I buy it I wear it.
I used to wear womens clothing all the time when I was living outside of my parents house. It was natural and I loved finding new clothing. Unfortunately my meager salary prevented me from shopping for attire as much as I wanted.
One nice thing was I lived near a Buffalo Exchange. There were some decent clothing there and it was affordable. I'm not so sure about now because things sometimes start taking a trendy, bloated turn.
I'm living at home and I guess you could say I'm in boi drag. I wear slacks, jeans, tennis shoes, and a clean t-shirt. I have two or three female tops in my closet but since I live with the folks I feel I can wait. Still it kills me to wear such uni clothes all the time especially when there are men out there who I like and want to impress! Shallow but true. Who wants a girl who doesn't give a care about her appearance??? Sorry if I went off topic but I empathize with the wanting to dress up sometimes even though my sitch may be a little different.
Quote from: Mia B on December 05, 2009, 09:48:58 AM
I used to wear womens clothing all the time when I was living outside of my parents house. It was natural and I loved finding new clothing. Unfortunately my meager salary prevented me from shopping for attire as much as I wanted.
One nice thing was I lived near a Buffalo Exchange. There were some decent clothing there and it was affordable. I'm not so sure about now because things sometimes start taking a trendy, bloated turn.
I'm living at home and I guess you could say I'm in boi drag. I wear slacks, jeans, tennis shoes, and a clean t-shirt. I have two or three female tops in my closet but since I live with the folks I feel I can wait. Still it kills me to wear such uni clothes all the time especially when there are men out there who I like and want to impress! Shallow but true. Who wants a girl who doesn't give a care about her appearance??? Sorry if I went off topic but I empathize with the wanting to dress up sometimes even though my sitch may be a little different.
"Boi drag"... I love it. It is so true and so descriptive :D.
Mia, there is nothing shallow about wanting to impress the guys. That's our right as girls isn't it?
Your desire to be feminine is wonderful, beautiful and perfectly natural for girls like us, but I definitely relate to the fact you live with the folks and this can be very frustrating and limiting until you come out. All I can say is feel free to be female if that's what you feel.
Love, Alexie.
Interestingly, my goal is to impress girls, not men. I do not like men's attention. I am very happy when a very attractive woman with stylish fashion studies me.
An episode: about 2 years ago, I happened to attend a buffet dinner with my colleagues at a hotel restaurant here. And later, I knew that the hotel was helding a kind of international meeting for super models. Dozens of models around the world had dinner with us! Some of them were as tall as me. If they were shorter, then they have far slimmer waist than mine.
Unfortunately, I wore very plain clothes as I went there from my workplace and did not know anything about the meeting. I just wore white capris and sneakers. But, some of models there also studied my body shape. My colleagues in the table also commented that my body looked as slim as the models. One female colleague complained that most of models reveal their bellies despite of rather chilly weather. I was very glad that those models looked at me, and of course that not only my tongue, but also my eyes could enjoy at that night.
Barbie~~
Quote from: barbie on December 06, 2009, 10:53:09 AM
Interestingly, my goal is to impress girls, not men. I do not like men's attention. I am very happy when a very attractive woman with stylish fashion studies me.
After careful consideration I have found that the TG community is as diverse as the general population. We have some common ground but our expression is still diverse.
I have yet to resolve these issues after a life time. In person I can only express myself to a select few which include people similar to myself. It is a nice feeling.
Quote from: Wendy on July 16, 2009, 11:07:44 AM
I am not having much success in wearing female clothes and not drawing attention. I want to shift my clothing slowly so that no one notices. I did wear a business woman's wool white pants to work and got no comments. They looked good and got no reaction. That was perfect.
How can people shift gradually so that no one notices?
you really can't do that, because you will eventually get to one point where you look obviously female, and most of the time, people already have the suspision this is who you are before you make any actual changes. you need to be yourself, and forget what other people are doing. i have the paranormal ideas that people are thinking things when i'm taking another short step, but that's only because i'm so nervous, and i don't feel comfortable. act natural, forget about what others may be thinking, and remind yourself that this is just a change that you will gradually become more comfortable with.
the only thing i own for guys is my work boots
in the winter, i usually wear cordoury sry cant spell it haha pants long sleeve shirts sweaters
my purple an red north face jackets stuff like that. with my make up an brn haired wig, -
spring/summer all girls clothes capris shorts n not the bootie ones either nono
with loose t shirts, im thin but not that thin haha i look like im bout 5 months pregnant which i kinda like. yea weird i kno but thats me. well that way i kinda have lil boobies popping out haha
all my sneakers are girls my socks, i even once in awhile will wear the lace trimmed ones sexii
all my clothes are from old navy, a& e ambercrombie fitch stores like that.. im ways i can pass
cuz ive got a smooth looking baby face. but if i dont feel like dressing up to go to the store ill just wear the lounge pants with a hoodie- ive lived my life in hiding so to say but no more
to work i wear girls jeans an sweaters they are girls but look neutral wit my boots
Quote from: Wendy on December 06, 2009, 05:06:10 PM
After careful consideration I have found that the TG community is as diverse as the general population. We have some common ground but our expression is still diverse.
This I am really beginning to see. But in a weird way, I can relate to them all?
Quote from: Wendy on December 06, 2009, 05:06:10 PM
I have yet to resolve these issues after a life time. In person I can only express myself to a select few which include people similar to myself. It is a nice feeling.
I know EXACTLY what you mean :)
Alexie :icon_flower:
Levi's 501 jeans
But if you've been feminizing with hormones, guys will check you out :laugh:
Capri pants with pumps, light make up, breasts taped together, and a matching top from Target. No one, as far as I can tell, pays any attention to me. I've worn this quite a few places, but never anywhere where I had to spend one on one time for an extended period.
one word PANTS (giggles) i finally got a second pair of proper boot cut jeans problem is my mom (and yes she does know i do crossdress by the way) anyway she didn't quite know my size and the pants are a little big but i am a BIG girl anyway so her sugestion was sorta roll them up inside
My stock unisex look is a ladies t-shirt and jeans tucked in flat or pixie boots and a ladies denim jacket!
But I'm out and don't have any man clothes so I don't have much choice.
Annette xx
Yes i must admit that this is a live issue for me.
I am well known at work for wearing colourful clothes, and using and wearing female accoutrements such as bracelets - and for favouring shopping bags etc (you would be amazed at just how little it takes to get you commented on!).
We are in the bear pit, and it doesnt matter how 'Equal Opp's' your workplace is - i believe that this is a very good site for giving you an idea of the different kinds of fabric, styles, and material cuts to generally slant yr wardrobe and appearance 'femme-wards'. Have a look!
Unfortunately though, in the end, most clothes arent gender-neutral, and. no matter how much we try to blend in (and, as an androgyne person, i'm as keen as anyone) things will be noticed. Here we go.....!!
Clare
well i've got so much stuff that i love to wear it's just what you feel comfortable in and that's all that really matters, but i've got one mens buttend up long sleave shirt that i love 'cause on days like this weekend lord knows i'll have to stay as warm as possible we're suposed to be getting a lot of snow, an adorably cute pink polo shirt and a blouse that i LOVE it's a rose coloured blouse, and not to mention my boot cut pants if worn right they look so cute on me (giigle) it's all about atttude (smiles) side's if you got it flaunt it (shakes ass and hips to the tune of "maho de mambo" gods i love that song it's the ultimate hip shaking song
For drawing minimal attention attention Capri pants, an inexpensive top from Target, ankle boots (1" heel), light make up, and granny sunglasses.
Quote from: Virginia Marie on December 13, 2009, 07:39:48 PM
Levi's 501 jeans
But if you've been feminizing with hormones, guys will check you out :laugh:
I do enjoy reading comments on Susan's. I have been on feminizing hormones for five years, clear coat my nails, removed 99% of the unwanted hair permanently from my face and body, and push the limits for professional male attire.
This past Friday I am eating lunch with some guys and I am wearing a velvety black jacket, a cobalt blue satiny button down and a pink silk tie with cobalt blue geometric figures. I have a page boy haircut, shimmery lip gloss, shaped eye brows and other subtle things. Now one of the guys I know at work that is very intelligent and brilliantly expressive sits down catty cornered to me. He turns his legs in my direction and sits there looking at me while he talks to the other guys at the table. He always makes me laugh after school but I felt rather nervous and just ate my food.
I have had a number of interesting experiences as I slowly change.
Yup, eventually guys will start checkin' you out no matter what your wearing
It's part of they're job :laugh: