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Hmm. You ask tough questions! :)
It is easy to lose touch with reality and get caught up in fantasy, especially if reality is not what you want it to be.
You might try practicing separating reality from fantasy. From what you've said, it sounds like your transgender feelings are very real.
Sorry if that doesn't help much...these are difficult things to put into words.
you know, i just saw a drunk (presumably) homeless guy in front of my building tell me that my dog looked like she should've been a goat... so... perhaps you are a squirrel.