They don't understand that at first transition stage most feel uncomfortable about ourselves and in public. They think we can just ignore it and not care, but we can't. They think were unhappy because of the changes we put ourselves through which is partially true but its mainly because we feel trapped and just yearn to be ourselves.
Yep, very true. Not much else to say.
SilverFang
My husband lives with me. Sees how I suffer some days. Listens to all my complaints. Comforts me when the facade cracks and I collapse into bed and cry until I fall asleep cause everything's just so impossible to deal with. Holds my hand when I'm so nervous I might throw up. Holds onto me and accepts me as who and what I am.
He knows, he accepts, and he does his very best to understand.
But he doesn't understand. He knows he doesn't, he accepts fully that he doesn't, and he doesn't give me any grief about his lack of understanding. But it's proof, that no matter how close a non-trans person is to any of us, no matter how much love, acceptance, and honesty is between us and them, there's just no way anyone can "grok" this without being in our shoes.
We'd do well not to ask them to, and accept that this isn't something you can grok without being in our shoes.
It does make it easier when someone's being difficult (like my dad.. *eyeroll*). He's not being difficult because he doesn't care about me, he's not being difficult because he's a bigot really, he's being difficult because he has no ability to comprehend the situation I'm in.
Quote from: Calistine on July 27, 2009, 12:26:24 AM
...we feel trapped and just yearn to be ourselves.
^ this.
I'm really lucky, I guess. My partner is also a bio female... while, having zero interest in being male or perceived as male, also has zero interest in being female or perceived thereas. So the body dysmorphia is familiar to both of us, and it gives her a pretty decent basis on which to understand how I feel and what I'm going through. (I honestly think she's more interested in top surgery than I ever will be! lol)