Has anyone ever told you that youd never make a good man because your such a sensitive girl? Does that even matter?
I just realized I misread your post. Not really, there are sensitive and insensitive men but sensitive men are less likely to be respected by the other men. Does it matter to you? Best just to be yourself. You can be any kind of man you want. Invent a new man, why not?
Fang
I've been told the opposite. That is to say, that I'd make a "good" man because I'd understand women better, seeing as I'm sensitive and all...
Honestly, I think the person was full of it.
I'm not that sensitive.
I've been told (by a certain family member who doesn't have a clue or know me very well or see me very often) that I couldn't possibly be a man because I 'was such a feminine little girl'. Few people realize it's really about how you feel as an adult or at least when you're older than, like, six.
Well, my husband is very sensitive (which is making things difficult) and I'm sometimes called a heartless bastard. :D In truth I'm not- I just hide those emotions and do kind things for people secretly. So yes, there are sensitive bio-men.
It doesn't matter.
Sensitivity isn't a 'gender-linked trait' or anything.
Quote from: CodyJess on July 28, 2009, 01:31:27 PM
It doesn't matter.
Nice and succinct. Plus I agree with it.
Nearly everyone who I have come out to has tried to come up with some reason why I 'can't *really* be a guy, just a confused girl.' I found nothing deeper in their statements than a bunch of stereotypes. None of it matters except one's own say in the matter.
Every person is different and no two are alike. To say you cant be one way or another because you are 'blank' is a load of bull. You are you and even when you change your physical appearance you sure as hell aren't anybody else.
Men and women both can be cold heated bastards or as squishy and loving as anyone else.
I've learned to ignore all manner of ignorant BS from family members. They've made fun of just about everything I've done in my life and have only been supportive after the fact. Transitioning was just one more thing in the line of 'crazy' things I've done in my life (none of which were crazy at all, but when you're happy with the daily status quo, what I've done is crazy, I suppose).
Men come in all shapes, sizes, and emotions. There is no one definition of what it is to be a man.
Jay
QuoteMen and women both can be cold heated bastards or as squishy and loving as anyone else.
That is true however if you want to play a male role you have to act without much feeling.
Quote from: Calistine on July 28, 2009, 09:40:08 AM
Has anyone ever told you that youd never make a good man because your such a sensitive girl? Does that even matter?
I knew a kid for years who cried very easily. It was almost ridiculous, I think he had some estrogen going on because of how frequent he would cry, because sometimes that can be the issue.
But anyway, it wasn't just crying, he was overall just sensitive. I've met tons of guy who were too sensitive and touchy, they do exist, it's just a lot of them get picked on... and sometimes for good reason. Wouldn't matter if it was a girl or a boy, it'd annoy me to death if someone was extremely sensitive like that.
It depends what you mean by 'sensitive', and really, both sexes are capable of empathy of any level. Anyway, you think those guys who are stoic were born that way? No, they were pressured into it. Most of them anyway.
No one's ever told me that because I've always been an ahole
But regardless, that's a really dumb thing to say. Don't listen to people who say things like that; people are always trying to put stereotypes on men and women and you'll always find people who break those stereotypes, trans or non-trans.
Quote from: lisagurl on July 28, 2009, 02:55:22 PM
That is true however if you want to play a male role you have to act without much feeling.
Without much feeling or without *displaying* much feeling? I'd see your point with the latter, as overt displays of emotion aren't widely regarded as very "manly".
Quote from: Monty on July 28, 2009, 02:56:29 PMAnyway, you think those guys who are stoic were born that way? No, they were pressured into it. Most of them anyway.
This is true... for both sexes. I do believe some people are born more with those tendencies so it becomes easier for them.
Gah I hate people telling me I'll be a better than average man because I'll understand women/know how they think and agree with their points of view and blah blah.
If I had the female brain waves, I wouldn't be doing this ::) I don't understand women any more than the average dude
Also, I'm gay, so I don't really give a crap about understanding women anyway :P
lots of cisgendered women are terribly insensitive, esp. in regards to not being careful with others' feelings. some of the most thoughtful and non-oblivious people i've ever known, were men.
I think you need definitions, I presume about emotions.
Women can be as sensitive as a flame thrower of minor girl stuff. Wrong dress, some one else got MY shoes etc etc. Gooy over someones baby, to say to a friend after, God that's an ugly thing.
Can obviously be sensitive as well to peoples opinion.
Guys are the same. I think Guys can be more sensitive in a very general way, real men are sensitive to the needs of others. And are willing to help out. Being protective of friends and family demonstrates male sensitivity.
Overt emotional displays are beaten out of guys in male society. Doesn't mean they aren't there. Emotional displays may be encouraged or at least tolerated in female society. So they don't get hidden, which may be a problem for FtMs. But lots of women are looking for nice guys, just lots of guys don't know what that means.
Cindy
Cindy
Quote from: Jeatyn on July 29, 2009, 02:18:29 AM
Gah I hate people telling me I'll be a better than average man because I'll understand women/know how they think and agree with their points of view and blah blah.
If I had the female brain waves, I wouldn't be doing this ::) I don't understand women any more than the average dude
Also, I'm gay, so I don't really give a crap about understanding women anyway :P
Heck, I even know women who don't understand women, haha.
I like to think that there's a little more to understanding human beings than just their gender.
No, but I've been told I'll make a very short man :laugh:. I couldn't argue with them on that one.
I'm not stoic by any means, but other people seem to think I'm lacking in emotion - both display and feeling. I think the majority of people are confusingly over emotional. It's all about perspective.
Though I will say - estrogen makes people more emotional. I have no idea why, but why do you think women are so intolerable around period time?
I concur with it being annoying when women think you're going to agree with and understand them, just because you had some similar anatomy at one stage in your life.
Quote from: Teknoir on July 29, 2009, 04:33:54 AM
No, but I've been told I'll make a very short man :laugh:. I couldn't argue with them on that one.
Ah, you too? I have been told this same thing. I agreed but didn't care. I've met a few men shorter than myself and it has never bugged me... What would be more uncomfortable than being short would be having one of those surgeries where they cut your femur in half to heighten you a couple of inches.
Quote from: Teknoir on July 29, 2009, 04:33:54 AM
Though I will say - estrogen makes people more emotional. I have no idea why, but why do you think women are so intolerable around period time?
Estrogen calms. It's like a sedative. Women aren't used to integrating that natural aggression into their personality like males, so when there is very low estrogen (during periods) women become aggressive (estrogen is also necessary for proper brain function, maybe that explains irrationality as well?).
SilverFang
Quote from: SilverFang on July 29, 2009, 04:57:06 AM
Estrogen calms. It's like a sedative. Women aren't used to integrating that natural aggression into their personality like males, so when there is very low estrogen (during periods) women become aggressive (estrogen is also necessary for proper brain function, maybe that explains irrationality as well?).
SilverFang
It's not that women aren't used to integrating natural aggression but because they express a wide array of emotions when they are angry that don't necessarily relate to anger itself. The female brain interconnects to many different cortical areas at once and is quite elaborate, whereas the male brain isn't as elaborate in that way. This means a woman will express her anger in many different ways, but these expressions don't necessarily mean they are ones of anger, but because all these emotions are being stimulated at once, it seems like it.
Men tend to lose their anger much quicker but by the same token they also work through it very fast, whereas women tend to feel their anger 'brewing' and find it difficult to control their emotions and often feel they need to vent it to get rid of it. This is biological, but biology always has room for exceptions. Often times it just comes down to the type of person that you are.
Quote from: Monty on July 29, 2009, 05:20:01 AM
It's not that women aren't used to integrating natural aggression but because they express a wide array of emotions when they are angry that don't necessarily relate to anger itself. The female brain interconnects to many different cortical areas at once and is quite elaborate, whereas the male brain isn't as elaborate in that way. This means a woman will express her anger in many different ways, but these expressions don't necessarily mean they are ones of anger, but because all these emotions are being stimulated at once, it seems like it.
Men tend to lose their anger much quicker but by the same token they also work through it very fast, whereas women tend to feel their anger 'brewing' and find it difficult to control their emotions and often feel they need to vent it to get rid of it. This is biological, but biology always has room for exceptions. Often times it just comes down to the type of person that you are.
So. . . Are you trying to say that the lack of estrogen during periods makes them more emotional? This would certainly defy the previous assumption about women being emotional because of estrogen. I am not disputing your statements about the expression of female anger or cause though.
I personally just think that emotional repression is socially conditioned. I've been around enough guys to know that they're not emotionless. And I'm pretty emotionless for a female-bodied person.There doesn't seem to be a great deal more to say on the topic of this thread, however I do not want to hijack it.
SilverFang
Quote from: SilverFang on July 29, 2009, 05:46:42 AM
So. . . Are you trying to say that the lack of estrogen during periods makes them more emotional? This would certainly defy the previous assumption about women being emotional because of estrogen. I am not disputing your statements about the expression of female anger or cause though.
I personally just think that emotional repression is socially conditioned. I've been around enough guys to know that they're not emotionless. And I'm pretty emotionless for a female-bodied person.There doesn't seem to be a great deal more to say on the topic of this thread, however I do not want to hijack it.
SilverFang
The reason why women tend to get angry around their periods is because their hormones are shifting, and when your hormones shift it messes up with the chemistry set in your head which effects your mood.
Emotional repression is conditioned, yes.
Quote from: SilverFang on July 29, 2009, 05:46:42 AM
I personally just think that emotional repression is socially conditioned.
Yes and no. There is great pressure on men not to display emotion, but T also plays its role in suppressing emotion and changes the way one experiences it. Almost every trans guy I've ever talked to has said that their emotional state was much less volatile on T. Of course, that may not have so much to do with T vs E. It may simply be because the hormone levels don't keep shifting back and forth. But T does make one much less likely to burst into tears over every little thing. That alone is good enough reason to go on T, in my opinion. ;) I am so happy to be free of the waterworks! :D
And to answer the original question: I've more often been accused of being too cold. Although my mom did throw the "How are you going to function as a guy when you cry when you get angry?" card at me when she was still trying to convince me not to transition. ::) Fortunately, I had done my homework. >:-)
QuoteThere is great pressure on men not to display emotion
Soft emotion, yes (crying, empathy, public affection, etc.). Anger, aggressiveness etc. not so much.
Quote from: Teknoir on July 29, 2009, 04:33:54 AMI concur with it being annoying when women think you're going to agree with and understand them, just because you had some similar anatomy at one stage in your life.
I agree. I mostly don't think like a woman and women have always confused me- where as I can talk to, understand and relate to men better. That's why I've never been a "girl talk" person. I don't understand or relate. I doubt that will change during my transition.
For the record, I don't understand humans period anyway. :)