Before I used to watch porn films everyday and masturbating was inevitable, I needed to be laid on by a different guy every week or I wouldn't feel well. But now I don't get erection anymore, I don't feel like watching porn nor masturbating. My boyfriends call me for sex, I always find an excuse to flee as I don't feel in mood for sex and it has become like a steep mountain to climb.
I wonder what sense does all this hormones have now because one of the 3 main reason of me transitioning is no more standing. I decided to transition for 3 main reasons:
1. Cos I am a girl in my head.
2. Cos I like having sex with straight guys.
3. Cos I wanna be LOVED by straight guys.
The reason No.2 is like futile now as I don't like having sex anymore so I really dunno what to think and I feel it's too late to stop now.
I feel like I've become like the time when I was a child, innocent when sex had no meaning to me, not to mention me and my new cry baby personality. OMG, I think I've become a child again...
As you had a healthy libido before, you can do again. It may take a while for your sex drive to re-establish itself due to the hormonal changes.
Your mileage may vary.
Transitioning for sex is not a good idea. The same procedures (hormones) are used for sex offenders. Sex alone without love is a bummer. Women have to have the love in their heads not between the legs. You have to be in love to be loved.
Is it not great not to be a slave of your physical body?
It's not really dead, but it's definitely going to be different. To me the male and female sex drive is the difference between night and day. You just need to learn how to enjoy sex now as a woman, not as a man anymore. To me it was a very welcomed relief to not be chained to my sex drive anymore, as Lisa mentioned. But I absolutely looooooove my new found female sexuality, and wouldn't trade it back for anything in the world.
This is one you'll have to discover for yourself Shelina. I really wanted to lose the libido. I prayed for it nearly my whole life it seems. But it hung around right up until the night before I had surgery.
We all have different perspectives on what transition means to us and our sex life. You are the only one who can follow through with the best course of action for yourself.
My best to you.
Cindi
As an FTM it is interesting, my sex drive has increased 10 fold. I now realize the difference between a estrogen sex drive vs. a T sex drive. Going the other way it is also "interesting" to deal with, I fear for small animals safety around me at times. (haha)
The psychological part has not changed for me I never needed the love between the ears/head as either a women or as man.
Myles
I agree with lisagurl, wanting to be a female simply to have sex with men doesn't seem to be a good idea. If you do believe you're female, that's another story.
My libido is greatly reduced and I don't mind a bit. It's nice to think more with the big head than the little one when it comes to sexual drive...
I would agree that transitioning for "sex" isn't really a good idea; however, sex is part of being human. The thing about your sex drive is that it most likely has changed. It will have to be something you'll have to rediscover. A woman's sex drive is different than a man's.
I'll warn you that if sex is your main motivation, even if you discover the feminine sex drive, it won't be the same as you had before pre-hormones. It will feel different not only physically but also emotionally and mentally. When you masturbate, a rush of testosterone can fill your body -- and once your body is used to estrogen it can (in some people) produce a weird feeling. The longer you're on them, the more people notice it.
Also, once you have SRS (if you go that route), the feelings are again different. Physically, a vagina doesn't feel the same as before or feel like really anything before. Yes, you can orgasm, but it's different than before and way different than a mans orgasim. Of course, your vagina feels different and nothing like before, as well. Emotionally and mentally, there are changes as well.
For me, SRS was a good experience for me sexually, as well as in other areas of my life. Previous to SRS when I was on HRT I found more and more that sex was difficult physically, emotionally, and mentally. Pre-HRT/Transition, I think sex was easier in some aspects, but also not fulfilling in others 'cause I knew I had the wrong parts. I found it easier pre-HRT to just use my imagination while having sex to please my partner and for myself to get by and hopefully enjoy the experience. When I was on HRT, over a length of time, I found it harder and harder to just use my imagination and go with the flow. It affected my relationships pretty badly as I didn't like the feeling of it all.
It took time, but I found my womanly sex drive as I went through transition; it was different, but I found it more emotionally and mentally fulfilling. After SRS, the physical fulfillment came into place. It can be a wonderful thing.
I think sometimes it can be taboo to talk about sex when it comes to transition. Of course, sex alone isn't a great motivator for transition 'cause that bridge erodes pretty quickly with HRT and the changes of transition. You stand before the crossroad where you realize that old sex drive and the way it felt won't be back (unless you were to stop HRT, etc), and then you embrace (and find) your female sex drive. It's not an easy task.
This is where your other motivations come into play -- and this is where you find the inner strength to go on and be the woman you are; or stop, and be the man you are. Sex can't carry you through. By only being yourself, and being honest with yourself, can you carry on.
Good luck,
--Natalie :)
Natalie.....great post!
Shelina....
Point #1 is the one that matters.
If you still feel that you are/have to become a girl then that is the crucial thing.
HRT is the acid test
Testosterone IS sex drive and and a male can easily have 20 or more times as much T as a female. You're bound to notice that kind of drop in a big way.
OF COURSE women don't have that same level of testosterone urge as guys - otherwise they'd be getting laid continuously all day long!
I too feel that child-like innocence now (10 months HRT) - and I've got 45 years of clear memories of when my sex-drive was a thing of desperate burning urgency, but I look back now and wonder "WTF was I THINKING?" :P - and yes, there were times not so long ago when I watched lots of porn films etc too.
You're very young and were very sexually active, so the sudden disappearance of big thrills that were a frequent part of your life is going to be very noticeable.
You'll adjust, but as you realise, you ARE at the crossroads now and you have to make the decision whether you are on the right road or not.
If your drive to BE female is not strong enough to convince you to continue, then you probably aren't - hormones ARE the acid test!
- it is by no means "too late" If you stop HRT now, then in a short time you'll be right back where you started.
The question is, is that where you'd like to be?
For me, there is no question - I would never go back, even if I knew that I would never have another sexual thrill for the rest of my life (which seems pretty likely, to be honest)
Quote from: gothique11 on August 04, 2009, 05:05:41 AM
I would agree that transitioning for "sex" isn't really a good idea; however, sex is part of being human. The thing about your sex drive is that it most likely has changed. It will have to be something you'll have to rediscover. A woman's sex drive is different than a man's.
I'll warn you that if sex is your main motivation, even if you discover the feminine sex drive, it won't be the same as you had before pre-hormones. It will feel different not only physically but also emotionally and mentally. When you masturbate, a rush of testosterone can fill your body -- and once your body is used to estrogen it can (in some people) produce a weird feeling. The longer you're on them, the more people notice it.
Also, once you have SRS (if you go that route), the feelings are again different. Physically, a vagina doesn't feel the same as before or feel like really anything before. Yes, you can orgasm, but it's different than before and way different than a mans orgasim. Of course, your vagina feels different and nothing like before, as well. Emotionally and mentally, there are changes as well.
For me, SRS was a good experience for me sexually, as well as in other areas of my life. Previous to SRS when I was on HRT I found more and more that sex was difficult physically, emotionally, and mentally. Pre-HRT/Transition, I think sex was easier in some aspects, but also not fulfilling in others 'cause I knew I had the wrong parts. I found it easier pre-HRT to just use my imagination while having sex to please my partner and for myself to get by and hopefully enjoy the experience. When I was on HRT, over a length of time, I found it harder and harder to just use my imagination and go with the flow. It affected my relationships pretty badly as I didn't like the feeling of it all.
It took time, but I found my womanly sex drive as I went through transition; it was different, but I found it more emotionally and mentally fulfilling. After SRS, the physical fulfillment came into place. It can be a wonderful thing.
I think sometimes it can be taboo to talk about sex when it comes to transition. Of course, sex alone isn't a great motivator for transition 'cause that bridge erodes pretty quickly with HRT and the changes of transition. You stand before the crossroad where you realize that old sex drive and the way it felt won't be back (unless you were to stop HRT, etc), and then you embrace (and find) your female sex drive. It's not an easy task.
This is where your other motivations come into play -- and this is where you find the inner strength to go on and be the woman you are; or stop, and be the man you are. Sex can't carry you through. By only being yourself, and being honest with yourself, can you carry on.
Good luck,
--Natalie :)
Hi there gothique, I'm so glad you replied to my post. I'm your fan and use to chase after all your posts in the archives. You're the 'Progesterone Symbol' of the forum. It's YOU who inspired me to take Progesterone. Thanks for all what you said above, it really helps a lot.
Quote from: gothique11 on August 04, 2009, 05:05:41 AM
When you masturbate, a rush of testosterone can fill your body --
WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! Thanks god you told me this, before I was always doubting this but never found any concrete evidence until you came to confirm this. POUF, am saved, no more wanking now.
Anyways.. thanks a lot gothique, steffi and all of you for your advices. ;)
Actually I think testosterone declines for a while after you do that.
Oh, wow, *blushes* I didn't think my posts would inspire!