That's how I feel about my masculine side, it's a quite twisted swirl of emotions, frustration, excitement, despair, aggression, suffering, mystique, love and hate.
It's like my androgenic side is in trouble, it has quite lots of potential and strength, but it's not sane...
My other side (the one that gets switched after changing my gender chemistry) is more delicate but balanced and happy, not too worried but positive, caring, loving and with eyes wide open to the beauty and greatness of the world.
There's definitely something wrong, the male connections seem adequate but some acid is leaking from the very source of power, corroding the body and twisting the mind... the problem with me is that sometimes I just enjoy taking life by the neck and shouting at it... letting go my aggression feels like a treat in this world of pain.
The criminal in me is dark, it seduces me with golden souvenirs now and then but then it buries me in misery...
I am the colonel and the prisoner, the master and the puppet, a neverending conflict that is tearing me apart from the core.
... just letting go a bit. Have a nice week gals
Are you a goth by any chance?
Hi Nicky, how are you?
Not really a Goth, but sometimes it feels like it.
I've always loved hard rock, but also had my hippie, goth and rave moments at some point.
I've been in a couple of underground parties in London that crossed all borders between those labels...
How about you?
I'm not bad. I'm into goths at the moment. When to a friends birthday party and he had a ravers and goths theme. I love to rave. Meet these really awsome goths who were taking E. They were the life of the party, not something you would expect from a pack of goths.
I'm not a goth, but I do love the 'alternative' kind of rave scene - groups of people in all sorts of dress just being themselves having a good time and relatively little alcohol involved - goths, fetish wear, cowboys, glowsticks, cross dressers, transgenders, 'normals'....the labels don't matter. It is a great group to be part of.