Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: paxcow on August 04, 2009, 11:52:29 PM

Title: Any advice on how to come out to my mom?
Post by: paxcow on August 04, 2009, 11:52:29 PM
So I decided I was going to come out to my mom today. And I don't have the slightest clue on how to start the conversation.

I think my mom will be pretty open to it, I remember she once went on a rant after hearing about LGBT teens being kicked out and how she thought that was the cruelest thing. She finished up the rant by telling my brother and me that if it turns out either of us are gay to feel free to tell her and my dad. She was also glad that in health class the first thing we learned about was transgender people.

But still. How do I start this conversation??
And should I include my brother in this? (He also took Health and is pretty open to the LGBT community.) Or should I tell my mom first? Or my brother first? Or both at the same time?

Any advice?    ???
Title: Re: Any advice on how to come out to my mom?
Post by: Janet_Girl on August 05, 2009, 12:23:11 AM
There are many books on the subject.  Check the library.  Also look in the Wiki here (https://www.susans.org/Coming_Out/),  Several articles on the subject.

If you tell both at the same time it is like killing two birds with one stone.  But then it could come down to two against one.

Good luck with the family.
Janet
Title: Re: Any advice on how to come out to my mom?
Post by: paxcow on August 05, 2009, 03:14:57 AM
Thanks for the link, Janet!  :D

I ended up writing a note to my mom which pretty much explained that I'm a boy and have always felt this way and how I hope she supports me. And she does!!  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D We hugged and talked about it for about an hour I think. She told me she'll love me no matter my gender and she'll try to be as supportive as possible. She doesn't know much about the topic, and it's pretty clear she's in shock (she also admitted that she is) but she is willing to read as much on the topic as possible. She told her boyfriend who is also supportive.

I couldn't ask for a better mother  ;D ;D ;D ;D

Wow, it's such a relief to be out  ;D
Title: Re: Any advice on how to come out to my mom?
Post by: Cindy on August 05, 2009, 04:08:19 AM
Great news :-*

Really happy for you. Now you can start living.

Cindy
Title: Re: Any advice on how to come out to my mom?
Post by: Janet_Girl on August 05, 2009, 09:16:24 AM
Two birds with one telling.  And it should go better with your brother.  He wouldn't want to go against mom, and she is in your corner now.

:eusa_clap: :eusa_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_bunch: :eusa_clap: :eusa_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_bunch: :eusa_clap: :eusa_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_bunch: :eusa_clap: :eusa_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_bunch: :eusa_clap: :eusa_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_bunch: :eusa_clap: :eusa_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_bunch:

Janet
Title: Re: Any advice on how to come out to my mom?
Post by: aurora17 on September 03, 2009, 10:39:35 PM
If you feel your mother is going to accept you, just do it. Tell her.

I sort of told my mother, not entirely... She knows that I am growing breasts and becoming more feminine... I didn't tell her about my GID yet. She's still worrying about my health and about not having grandchildren from me... but she's not rejecting me right away.
Title: Re: Any advice on how to come out to my mom?
Post by: Steph on September 04, 2009, 08:25:54 AM
Check out:

https://www.susans.org/wiki/A_Letter_to_Mom (https://www.susans.org/wiki/A_Letter_to_Mom)

and

https://www.susans.org/wiki/A_Guide_to_Coming_out_to_Family (https://www.susans.org/wiki/A_Guide_to_Coming_out_to_Family)

In Susan's Wiki.

-={LR}=-