Susan's Place Transgender Resources

General Discussions => General discussions => Topic started by: veronica06 on September 22, 2006, 01:51:09 PM

Title: trying to understand...F vs M
Post by: veronica06 on September 22, 2006, 01:51:09 PM
okay.
I was gently nudged..today..in a post..saying I should start working on my female to be side...
and I acknowledged it.
I even cringed when I seen the post.
I felt like the teacher was chewing me out in school.
=========
how DO you find the difference between male and female when your so called real life models around you.,,,in your circle of friends.....the females are as brazen as the guys are?  they cuss and swill back beer and booze just as hearty.
they talk like sailors when the kids ain't around...
they'll roll their joints and smoke their crack pipe right there at the dinner table while they chit chat about this or that one....gossiping

I don't know where you folks come from............don't wanna know.......
but my...circle of friends....I'm a street kid at heart and my friends have no shame.

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where do you find these uppity people for role models if I can't act like I do????????

I am really on the edge here now........
Title: Re: trying to understand...F vs M
Post by: beth on September 22, 2006, 02:09:20 PM
Quotewhere do you find these uppity people for role models if I can't act like I do??

I am really on the edge here now........[

               





         You misunderstand, Veronica is inside you. I am not suggesting you make her into something she is not. If she wants to go fishing rather than take a bubble bath then that is what she should do. I am a woman but I do not appear feminine all the time. If Veronica wants to party with her friends she should. Do not think a woman is a stereotypical high society debutante, we come in all types. Veronica is unique.


beth
Title: Re: trying to understand...F vs M
Post by: Melissa on September 22, 2006, 02:17:23 PM
Beth is correct.  It's all about being yourself and expressing who you truly are.  Many times I could care less about the male/female dichotomy.  Sure I was born with an M on my birth certificate.  Sure I love to dress in female clothes and go by a female name. But I get to act who I truly am and sometimes that even means acting somewhat masculine.  As I've transitioned I realize that although I want to be female in body, I'll probably act somewhat androgynous in personality, although I prefer a female name and pronouns.  That's just who I am.  It's really a balance.

Now let me ask you this?  Do you feel like you're "acting" ever or do you feel like you're turly expressing who you are?

Melissa
Title: Re: trying to understand...F vs M
Post by: veronica06 on September 22, 2006, 03:25:39 PM

Now let me ask you this?  Do you feel like you're "acting" ever or do you feel like you're "TRULY"---(corrected) expressing who you are?

Melissa
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what if I said..both?
I have been---------forced into...........this...by birth..and social custom...to be all macho male..taught from old school.
that's the acting part.  that's what I have hated all my life.
-----------
truly express myself?  yeah--when i am physically able to shed the social status of male and sneak into my girlie stuff...hiding from the outside world coz i do not dare embarrass anyone else..for fear of neighborhood turmoil........

this is a huge rock...that takes a bulldozer to move..and the people are not ready to see it go away too soon.
heaven forbid any one around here should look outside and realize there are other people.......

hun..it ain't like it won't happen..just ain't gonna be today  or this month.


Title: Re: trying to understand...F vs M
Post by: Melissa on September 22, 2006, 03:30:02 PM
Ok, good answer.  I guess people's suggestions are just to drop the things you hate doing.

Melissa
Title: Re: trying to understand...F vs M
Post by: cindianna_jones on September 22, 2006, 06:15:54 PM
Quote from: veronica06 on September 22, 2006, 03:25:39 PM
hun..it ain't like it won't happen..just ain't gonna be today  or this month.

Veronica, I came from the street too.  You're coming along.  You realize the ruff stuff in your personality.  Now is that Veronica or your male self?  Your answer is the correct one.

I'll tell you sweetie, that Cindi is a bonafied tom boy.  And I'll also tell you that there are those who really don't know how to connect with me.   That's okay. It isn't a problem.  Everyone is perfectly nice here. And they will be here when you really do need a friend.

As we used to say when we were kids..... "keep on truckin"

Cindi
Title: Re: trying to understand...F vs M
Post by: tinkerbell on September 22, 2006, 11:44:04 PM
Quote from: Cindianna_Jones on September 22, 2006, 06:15:54 PM

Veronica, I came from the street too.  You're coming along.  You realize the ruff stuff in your personality.  Now is that Veronica or your male self?  Your answer is the correct one.

I'll tell you sweetie, that Cindi is a bonafied tom boy.  And I'll also tell you that there are those who really don't know how to connect with me.   That's okay. It isn't a problem.  Everyone is perfectly nice here. And they will be here when you really do need a friend.

As we used to say when we were kids..... "keep on truckin"

Cindi

Veronica, Listen to Cindi, for she is someone you will wish you knew IN YOUR NEXT LIFE


Cindi:  I have said it many times, but I'll say it again......I admire your wisdom! :)

tinkerbell :icon_chick:
Title: Re: trying to understand...F vs M
Post by: veronica06 on September 23, 2006, 07:46:19 AM

As we used to say when we were kids..... "keep on truckin"

Cindi
============
naw
we say "do it like sonny pruitt"
remember "movin on" trucker show on tv?
Title: Re: trying to understand...F vs M
Post by: Kendall on September 23, 2006, 08:04:00 AM
If you mean by working on your female side to start experimenting with different feminine things that maybe you have never tried, that I think is what I do. Trying things for the first time that I had never done, that are more feminine. Its not that I am forcing myself to be it, its just that I had never done it before, and I am trying it to see if I like it. Before I do these new things, I certainly have somewhat at least a little urge to try it also.

At the same time, I keep doing the things that are male also that I like.

The male things that I start trying the feminine versions, I do just because I dont like the male ones.

To me, its a dance of picking what I like and dont like, but picking it from both baskets, or combining things. Having to experiment first though, means trying things that I had been afraid, repressed, hide, or denied ever trying before.

Ken/Kendra
Title: Re: trying to understand...F vs M
Post by: veronica06 on September 23, 2006, 08:06:27 AM
The male things that I start trying the feminine versions,
kendra
=============
new concept "I" didn't think of...

thank you
Title: Re: trying to understand...F vs M
Post by: veronica06 on September 23, 2006, 12:32:16 PM
thank you all.

I guess I...AM...digging into stereotyping...but I guess?  I have these visions of what MY ideal is supposed-to-be...for girlie and one for dude stuff.

thank you

thank you

Title: Re: trying to understand...F vs M
Post by: beth on September 23, 2006, 01:10:31 PM
Hi Veronica,

                There are many people who consider themselves bi gender. They enjoy both genders and can keep them seperated. You may want to investigate to see if you identify with them in any way. It takes some soul searching and exploration for all of us to see where we fit in to the wide range of gender.



beth
Title: Re: trying to understand...F vs M
Post by: cindianna_jones on September 23, 2006, 06:21:51 PM
I used to think that to be feminine meant to fix myself up in a dress and heels all the time.  I could not fathom why someone would bother to go through all this change that we make and want to just wear jeans.

I got over it when I decided it was more comfortable to wear jeans most of the time... ;)

The point I'm trying to make is that we have a vision of what is female and our real desires are seldom in that vision.  They are often found hidden deeper down inside.

Cindi
Title: Re: trying to understand...F vs M
Post by: LostInTime on September 23, 2006, 07:23:15 PM
When I was him, I was also me.  When I transitioned, I did not drop a lot out of my background.  I still like to hike, shoot firearms, martial arts, paintball, etc, etc.  I have been told that because I have some of these interests that I am not really transsexual by those who do not know me very well.

Since transition I have a peace about myself because I no longer have to hide my natural body language and have really started to get in touch with my emotional self (a side neglected for far too long).

I am I no matter what I may be wearing or doing.
Title: Re: trying to understand...F vs M
Post by: Chaunte on September 23, 2006, 08:54:31 PM
I find the difference is all in communication.  As a prefice, let me say that these are generalities I have observed.  THey won't apply to everyone.

Watch a circle of women.  They tend to communicate through an additive process.  As an example:
Woman 1: I like blue.
Woman 2: I like blue, but pink is also nice.
Woman 3: I like blue and pink.  Green can bring out my eyes.
Woman 4: I like blue and pink is okay.  Green tends to make me look olive.  Red is nice.

Everyone shares their experience with the colors and add somthing to the discussion.  Women become friends through shared expereince.

Men tend to agree upon facts
Man 1: one + one is two.
Man 2: two + two is four.
Man 3: True.  But two + one is three which equals to four if you take away one.
Man 4: Ah, and three + two equals four + one.

Men agree upon a knowledge base.  From this knowledge base, men can exchange information and limited friendship.  THis is why men have fishing friends, flying friends, music friends, etc.  Its a limited friendship because it is rare when a man has a single friend that he interacts with in a number of different situations.

Women have friendships and interact with them in many ways..

Chaunte
Title: Re: F vs M------Chaunte
Post by: veronica06 on September 23, 2006, 10:58:47 PM
thank you...I guess I always knew all that...but I believe,..it is more or less...under the pile vs being near top of the daily--I want to keep this in mind...

thank you for that nudge.