So yesterday on the 13th of Thursday I woke up and for some unknown reason I could not get into my usual female self, it's like my thoughts were blocked completely even though I could get some feelings and desires through.
Another thing is I am going to Texas from California on the 15th of this month and feel kind of nervous about the whole thing.
I wake up today on the 14th and all my female feelings, thoughts, desires and emotions (every bit of it all) comes right back to me as if they were on pause for a day.
This happen to anyone else?
Yeah it happened to me yesterday. I felt like being a girl. But Im myself again. It happens from time to time because I think we question whether we wanna let go of our past.
Truth be told Janet ---------yes ! :P Look I was in the automotive fields for most of my life , either designing , rebuilding, , or the towing end of it . How are you sposed to feel when you've toed cars and trucks for 14 hours and now they're calling you back in cause no one is answering their pager ? Kinda sucks don't it ? Look, I have been a professional driver for years , I only work part time these days as I have medical issues that prevent otherwise .
Secondly, I lead a "Real " life . I have a 10 year old son a more or less disabled wife still and I'm the only one capible of bringing any income in currently ! So janet , if ya want to go pick up in my sons filthy room in heels and a dress go ahead !it's not 1958 anymore ! Sure June Cleaver looked cute in the kitchen with those to die for dresses and heels she wore in "Leave it to Beaver " . I was and still am a fan of the Judy Bond Blouses she had . Would you want to crawl under a customers Pick - Up truck to see why the tail lights aren't working ? Common ........ Ellen Shaver
Generally, when there are big things/worries going on in my life the desire to be fem evaporates.
When I have idle time the desire returns, and in various ways/strengths. Sometimes it's just a mild feeling, at other times I find myself putting on makeup and dressing.
So yes, the feeling it can come and go. But i'm genderfluid anyway.
I agree that the feelings come and go, however, in my case when I have a stressful or important thing or decision to make, the girl in me comes to the front to help me through the situation. It's not about what your wearing; it's all about what your feeling.
My almost split persona, and feeling hormonally imbalanced all the time and sometimes hot flahses, and stuff from my puberty is actually worrying me that I might have some intersexed disorder never diagnosed.
I don't mean body part intersex, I mean hormonal disorder.
My T levels had spiked for some reason in january or something, and my endo is now letting me take a large dose of spiro.
So I don't know about all of that yet, but its kinda been freaking me out, and if there were T levels higher then that would explain the dysphoria making a triumphant return....
But its been making me feel so on the wall gender even more so. And its impossible to try going fulltime when I get those pangs... So I'm worried stuff is up, and therefore my persona represses more, and the cycle spins.
These last few days... D:
A day without fem. feelings? Even when I was being the most heinous boy it was not possible
A day without boy feelings are increasingly common. And I'm getting some odd looks about them :embarrassed: :embarrassed:.
Cindy
i keep clicking on this thinking it's about sex. :laugh:
Quote from: Virginia Marie on August 17, 2009, 03:46:07 AM
A day without fem. feelings? Even when I was being the most heinous boy it was not possible
agree. I've never
not been aware of it.
Quote from: Nero on August 17, 2009, 04:02:06 AM
i keep clicking on this thinking it's about sex. :laugh:
Typical male!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Luv
Cindy
Quote from: Nero on August 17, 2009, 04:02:06 AM
i keep clicking on this thinking it's about sex. :laugh:
Glad I wasn't the only one who thought that too!
Quote from: CindyJames on August 17, 2009, 04:26:30 AM
Typical male!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Luv
Cindy
Oh, come on. Don't tell me none of the ladies here didn't think it either :laugh:
Key word... desire
What litle old me :angel: :angel: :angel:
There's a few times I'll have girl feelings..but usually it's more of "girl social moments" like I'll giggle at something that excites me...or today in a store I looked at a girls shirt and thought, "that's cute"...but rarely goes outside of that.
I don't know, sometimes I get a slight pang of nostalgia but I've never acted the female part, so I think it's nostalgia for something I've never had or wanted, but felt I should have, only by what society wants. I almost always feel male, however, but I have acted the part since I was young. I have always been given freedom to do so, and that is why I am very grateful for my family.
On that note, I, too, thought this thread was about sex. :laugh:
About once a week I'll have a day where I'll feel like an androgynous female. Then the rest of the week it's gone. I don't know what causes it. I wish it would make up it's mind to either stay or go away :/
Quote from: Kamren on August 17, 2009, 05:09:47 AM
Glad I wasn't the only one who thought that too!
lol, me too!
This happened to me all of the time Janet. It was kind of like a never-ending process. Eventually, my female desires won out, I just quit fighting it. You're definitely not alone on this one. Best of luck to you!
Donna
My fem. side won the fight also. Now I can't stand "acting" masculine :P
Most people to experience GID (in my experience) have days, moments, times, etc. where they do not feel it crushing them, and sometimes when they do not feel it at all. While this provokes a sense of confusion for some about the authenticity of their feelings, it is never very long before they return, triggered or not.
I like to say my GID ebbs and flows.
I had a feelling like this yesterday morning. I woke up and wasn't instantly depressed like the day before. I had a kind of peace and the desires weren't attacking me. As the day wore on, they came back some but it wasn't a huge depressing day at least.
Hi Jerica,
I've experienced my fair share of days like the one that you described. I think that it's wonderful that you didn't feel depressed.