Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I've seen on the forums, heard from people and seen in the news that more and more people are becoming transgendered just so they can have sex with the gender that they were born genetic as. Not because they are trapped in a different body or that their brain doesn't match up with their body but just because they want sex.

To me I think this is wrong...And just flat-out sad. What is your opinion about this? Do you think it's right that people file as transgendered just so they can have sex (Yes) ??? Or do you think it's wrong and if you are transgendered it shouldn't be just for sex, It should be because you want to be who you really were suppose to be when you were born (No)
Or are you just (Indifferent) or (Don't Know)?

Well think about it this way:  You take testosterone blockers and female hormones, all of which render you extremely impotent and drained of energy.  Then you have your genitals surgically altered and endure months of excruciating pain and the hassle of dilation.  You swell and don't want to be touched.   You go through post surgical depression... 

And then someone tells you this is really about sex.

Who are they kidding?


Thankfully, many do return to a fairly normal sex life, some even a great one.  But it takes a lot of time.  If this were all about sex, there would be a lot easier way to get there.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi

Quote from: Inphyy on August 15, 2009, 10:01:07 PM
I've seen on the forums, heard from people and seen in the news that more and more people are becoming transgendered just so they can have sex with the gender that they were born genetic as. Not because they are trapped in a different body or that their brain doesn't match up with their body but just because they want sex.

To me I think this is wrong...And just flat-out sad. What is your opinion about this? Do you think it's right that people file as transgendered just so they can have sex (Yes) ??? Or do you think it's wrong and if you are transgendered it shouldn't be just for sex, It should be because you want to be who you really were suppose to be when you were born (No)
Or are you just (Indifferent) or (Don't Know)?

Yep that's why I made the trip, heck it was so fun.  I've made so may new friends and now I can even have sex with guy's without being called Gay.  It's so wonderful that i recommended it to everyone and now there is such a line up for SRS that the surgeons can't keep up.

The Gay and Lesbian movement is so pissed off at us now cause they have no one to convert to their side.  Ah the world is such a wonderful place.

Send this email to 10 of your closest friends within the next 10 minutes and you will have good luck for the rest of your life.

-={LR}=-

P.S. I didn't bother voting.  What a stupid topic. :(

Sweetie,

Gender Identitiy and Sexual orientation are two distinctly different things. Gender identitiy has nothing to do with sexual orientation.
Being transgendered (or gender-gifted as I like to say) has nothing, I repeat, nothing to do with sex!!! Being gender-gifted is simply who you are and will not be able to be a peace until you totally transition or find a way to express yourself to your satisfaction.

Being Transgendered has nothing to do with sex. It has everything to do with your well being.

Love

Brenda

Quote from: bernii on August 15, 2009, 10:22:46 PM
Sweetie,

Gender Identitiy and Sexual orientation are two distinctly different things. Gender identitiy has nothing to do with sexual orientation.
Being transgendered (or gender-gifted as I like to say) has nothing, I repeat, nothing to do with sex!!! Being gender-gifted is simply who you are and will not be able to be a peace until you totally transition or find a way to express yourself to your satisfaction.

Being Transgendered has nothing to do with sex. It has everything to do with your well being.

Love

Brenda

No not sex as in like gender, etc. but as the deed...It's on the news about that many people that are (usually) gay say they are transgendered and go through the whole process just to have sex with straight men.

first and foremost I did not begin this journey to have sex.  I am a father of four and that was about sex.  This is about as far from sex as one can get.

Only that idiots that say that, think that.  None of us are passing this way because of sex.

You will hear it over and over and over again.  Gender identitiy has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

What would I go through this to be with a woman?  I had wives before, why change gender?  Because I am a woman and the body must be changed to conform to the mind.  And I am more BI, but right now I am on the lesbian side of sexuality.


You're young, just remain celebate.
Janet

Quote from: Janet Lynn on August 15, 2009, 11:12:24 PM
first and foremost I did not begin this journey to have sex.  I am a father of four and that was about sex.  This is about as far from sex as one can get.

Only that idiots that say that, think that.  None of us are passing this way because of sex.

You will hear it over and over and over again.  Gender identitiy has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

What would I go through this to be with a woman?  I had wives before, why change gender?  Because I am a woman and the body must be changed to conform to the mind.  And I am more BI, but right now I am on the lesbian side of sexuality.


You're young, just remain celebate.
Janet

That's exactly my point also! Thanks for sharing it! :)

Once upon a time, not all that long ago, there were very formal rules, under which most of the people in here would not have qualified.  Now, its a bit looser, and more or less, people are making it up as they go.

Though that might not seem a valid reason, under the old rules, if you had proclaimed yourself a lesbian you would have been disqualified from HRT/SRS, so not being all that hard and fast is perhaps a good thing.

People have a right to do with their body, what they wish, as they see fit, for the reasons that seem right to them.  It does not always work out right - so it goes.  But no one has the right to tell another what is, or is not, a valid choice, a valid reason, or what is the right or wrong way.

Especially anyone in here.

While I've heard many people use the "you're changing your sex because you're just trying to deny the fact that you're gay" argument before (once from a friend that didn't know my trans status and who I am no longer in contact with) it really doesn't hold water when you consider the vast number of people who transition and become lesbians or gay men.

Personally, for me it cannot possibly be about sex, because I happen to be one of those crazy asexual people. Completely lacking in a desire or need for sex kinda eliminates it as a possible motivator.

Quote from: tekla on August 16, 2009, 12:30:36 AM
People have a right to do with their body, what they wish, as they see fit, for the reasons that seem right to them.  It does not always work out right - so it goes.  But no one has the right to tell another what is, or is not, a valid choice, a valid reason, or what is the right or wrong way.

Especially anyone in here.

^This^ Abso-freakin-lutely this...

Quote from: Dominick on August 16, 2009, 12:37:01 AM
While I've heard many people use the "you're changing your sex because you're just trying to deny the fact that you're gay" argument before (once from a friend that didn't know my trans status and who I am no longer in contact with) it really doesn't hold water when you consider the vast number of people who transition and become lesbians or gay men.

Personally, for me it cannot possibly be about sex, because I happen to be one of those crazy asexual people. Completely lacking in a desire or need for sex kinda eliminates it as a possible motivator.

Your just like me I am asexual and I just have no need for sex in my life! Glad to finally meet someone who has the same out-put as me! :)

"
No not sex as in like gender, etc. but as the deed...It's on the news about that many people that are (usually) gay say they are transgendered and go through the whole process just to have sex with straight men
"

Being gay is not the same at all as to be Transgendered. In fact being Transgendered is completely different from being gay. Someone who is homosexual is fine with their gender and simply prefers their own gender sexually. Someone who is Transgendered knows that they are born in the wrong body, sexuality aside.

Brenda

The media does not understand ->-bleeped-<-. Don't listen to the media.

Umm... can I vote HELL NO!!?

I have read 'papers' that attempt to define specifics of sexual orientation and gender identity and they have attempted to lump sum all variants that deviate from straight heterosexual genetic males and females into this melting pot called transgender. In other words if you aren't definitively X or Y, then you are transgendered. HUHHH??

Homosexuality has little if anything to do with gender. Bisexuality has little to nothing to do with gender. Sex has nothing to do with gender. I'm not "choosing" to become a woman so that I can have sex with women. I could stay as I am and (if I was not as screwed up sexually as I've been my whole life) have sex with women and nothing would be wrong with that. Even if I wanted to have sex with men, it would be a whole hell of a lot easier to just say I'm gay and be done with it. Becoming the woman/girl that I am inside is infinitely harder on so many levels than just saying I'm gay, let's have sex.

Too many people - professional and not - confuse sex with gender. It's like confusing an orange with a tenderloin.

Just my 2 pence.

Deanna

Quote from: bernii on August 16, 2009, 12:49:09 AM
"
No not sex as in like gender, etc. but as the deed...It's on the news about that many people that are (usually) gay say they are transgendered and go through the whole process just to have sex with straight men
"

Being gay is not the same at all as to be Transgendered. In fact being Transgendered is completely different from being gay. Someone who is homosexual is fine with their gender and simply prefers their own gender sexually. Someone who is Transgendered knows that they are born in the wrong body, sexuality aside.

Brenda

The media does not understand ->-bleeped-<-. Don't listen to the media.

Again another point of mines! Thanks for sharing!  :police:

---

Post Merge: August 16, 2009, 01:00:14 AM

---

Quote from: Deanna_Renee on August 16, 2009, 12:54:49 AM
Umm... can I vote HELL NO!!?

I have read 'papers' that attempt to define specifics of sexual orientation and gender identity and they have attempted to lump sum all variants that deviate from straight heterosexual genetic males and females into this melting pot called transgender. In other words if you aren't definitively X or Y, then you are transgendered. HUHHH??

Homosexuality has little if anything to do with gender. Bisexuality has little to nothing to do with gender. Sex has nothing to do with gender. I'm not "choosing" to become a woman so that I can have sex with women. I could stay as I am and (if I was not as screwed up sexually as I've been my whole life) have sex with women and nothing would be wrong with that. Even if I wanted to have sex with men, it would be a whole hell of a lot easier to just say I'm gay and be done with it. Becoming the woman/girl that I am inside is infinitely harder on so many levels than just saying I'm gay, let's have sex.

Too many people - professional and not - confuse sex with gender. It's like confusing an orange with a tenderloin.

Just my 2 pence.

Deanna

Like one of my friends once said, "Not everyone does their research and it normally bites them in the a**", So to those that don't understand the differences, are normally the ones that arn't accepting and wouldn't give a chance to understand.

If it was about sex, I'd stay a woman. Hell of a lot free-er and easier.

It's like Baily et. all. - While  ->-bleeped-<- is not a be all, and end all, alpha/omega explanation, neither is anything else.  So while it might be true for most even, most is never all.

Well, heck yeah.  In fact, I'm transitioning just so I can have all the advantages of being gay.  ;)

I'm married.
My partner accepts me as is.
I'm still transitioning.

If the idea is to get "out" of gay sex.. It would mean I'm doing it wrong...

No, as everyone's said, it's not at all about sex.

However, I think the thought of sex can help you realise you're trans, so-to-speak. Like, given that I'm physically female, the fact that, whenever I imagine being with a man, I myself am always male and have been for years, made me question if there was something wrong, that I wasn't a 'normal' girl. However, while it was one of the reasons that led me to start questioning myself, it was not the only reason, and certainly not why I want to transition. Of course I would like (gay) sex to happen one day, but even if I knew before I definitively decided to transition that it wouldn't happen, I would still go for it. I want to be able to walk my dog, go to work, have coffee with friends, and watch movies with my Mum as the man I am, and so whether I die a virgin or have a wild gay roll in the hay every night from the moment I start passing is irrelevant.

it's all about the sex & the clothes!  yup yup let's not forget about 'the clothes',

I can't believe anyone would get a sex change for that reason, considering all the risks... I feel bad for any who do as they would likely not be ready for all the other changes in their lives that suddenly being male or female means for them.

Me, I identify as a gay FtM, so I could probably have more male partners in my current female form than if I got the transition... but it means so much more than partners.  For all I know, the testosterone could turn me really bi or even make me attracted to women more.  I don't really care to be honest, it's more just my body coming in line with what I perceived myself to be all this time.

I agree with all your points, and add that I have never known any trans people to transition because of the sex.  It is an identity issue, and appearing on the outside like we are on the inside, and in being "honest" with the world about that.

That being said, after transition I found my body had a very sexy feeling, and I felt sexy being inside me. 

QuoteIs Being Transgendered Only About The Sex?

No it isn't.

It's all about correcting what I consider a birth defect for me  :icon_chick:

Easy way to explain it...
Given the choice between transitioning and sex, sex would be given up in a hurry.

I'm already celibate, so it's no loss to me.

Well, if it were just about sex for me ... at least it seems that I would be getting good resutls. I've had more girls flirt with / hit on / make out with me in the six months or so that I've been presenting as female than in the six years prior to that.  ;D

^{~Heather takes shelter under her stainless steel umbrella, in anticipation of the coming firestorm~}

Noun or verb, I still see gender and sexual issues as being separate issues

No need for the umbrella, heather. That actually made sense.

Quote from: heatherrose on August 16, 2009, 11:47:19 PM

I voted yes, please allow me to explain.
There are two sides of the same coin in our happy little societal microcosm.
On the one side, we have those who consider the word "Transgender" to be a verb,
those who feel the process of transition up to and including gender reassignment
surgery to be a series of stepping stones and not a destination and refer to themselves
as men, women or possibly androgyne. On the other side of the coin there are those who
consider the word to be a noun. These are they who are satisfied with the designation
of themselves as being "Transgendered". It is within this "Noun Group" where you
will find those who find "->-bleeped-<-" to be a form sexual expression.

^{~Heather takes shelter under her stainless steel umbrella, in anticipation of the coming firestorm~}

Taken in that light it does make sense.  And I think for those outside of the verb version, see it as the noun version.  And there comes the problem.  This journey is a verb, not a noun.

Janet

Well, as one who could be described as a noun person - not a Man but a Trans-man - for me, personally, it's still not about sex.  I agree with Leslie Ann.  If I had to choose between transition and sex, I would happily skip down the road to celibate trans-man-hood.

(And before you verb-people start pelting me with rotten vegetables, that's only how I view myself.  I am not putting anybody else's manhood or womanhood into question.)

^{~Heather loads her tomato canon, awaiting Jamie's reply.~'}

Quote from: heatherrose on August 17, 2009, 05:22:42 AM

I save the most fragrant of my rotten tomatoes,
for the nut jobs who hide behind religion as the they
preach hell and damnation because of my gender variance.
You are not a religious nut job who rails against my gender variance.

Are you?

^{~Heather loads her tomato canon, awaiting Jamie's reply.~'}

Nah.  I'm an agnostic nut-job who rails against taking anything too seriously.  *whistles innocently while moving out of tomato cannon's range*

Quote from: Inphyy on August 15, 2009, 10:01:07 PM
I've seen on the forums, heard from people and seen in the news that more and more people are becoming transgendered just so they can have sex with the gender that they were born genetic as. Not because they are trapped in a different body or that their brain doesn't match up with their body but just because they want sex.

To me I think this is wrong...And just flat-out sad. What is your opinion about this? Do you think it's right that people file as transgendered just so they can have sex (Yes) ??? Or do you think it's wrong and if you are transgendered it shouldn't be just for sex, It should be because you want to be who you really were suppose to be when you were born (No)
Or are you just (Indifferent) or (Don't Know)?

I would really like to know which forums you are reading to come to the conclusions you have.  If you have read more that 20-30 posts here you would have seen that the people here do not share that opinion.

Also the results from your poll bear this out.

Additionally were they to say that to their  gender councilor during their transition, they would probably not have gotten their letters.

-Sandy

^{How many times can you use the word TRANSGENDER in a paragraph?}

Quote from: heatherrose on August 17, 2009, 09:01:19 AM

The statements Inphyy made and the questions which she asked pretained
to this quote from her, "more and more people are becoming transgendered"
Nowhere in her post did she mention surgery or even transition. Here in lies the
problem with the one label fits all philosophy. Not everyone under the big happy
"transgender" umbrella is on the SRS track. To "become" transgendered,
one merely has to mention the word in a sentence, something to the
tune of, "I am Transgendered". Pavlov (if he were to visit
us from the beyond) might be interested in the knee
jerk reaction of some, to the word "transgender"

.

^{How many times can you use the word TRANSGENDER in a paragraph?}

I take issue with the statement that one can become transgendered.  That implies that the fascist religious Reich is right and this is a choice.  I did not *choose* to be trans.  I was born this way.  It was no choice to me.

The only thing I chose to do was the manner and method of my coming out.  But I did not chose to put on the mantle of transgender the same way I would choose which top to wear.

Also, know that I am not railing at anyone here.  Just the general attitude of the whole "gay is choice and can be fixed through torture/murder".


^{I only came up with two.}

-Sandy

So now we'll ask Susan to create several more forums or just modify some existing ones, or even just make some sub forums, after all we want to make sure we remain inclusive here.  Sooooo....

1. Transgender Noun Variant
2. Transgender Verb Variant
3. Transsexual Noun Variant
4. Transsexual Verb Variant

Give me a friggin break folks.  Just let everyone define themselves come up with their own definition of who and what they are and sit back and watch the chaos.  This place is just like the weather; If you don't like how you're looked as or don't like the definitions just wait a day or two and they'll certainly change.

It's no wonder folks in and out of this community are shaking their heads.  I can just see the law makers sitting around drafting new beneficial policies, when there's a sound at the door; Knock, nock, nock.  "Come in!", "Excuse me sirs' but I just received another email from a place called 'The Transgender Coalition' they need to add to some of the terms.  Apparently there is a whole new group those who are verb leaning and those who are nouns...."  "What the F&@$...

-={LR}=-

I entirely support anyone's decision to become a transgender person.  The fact that it may be a choice does not threaten me in the least.  I personally believe being transgender is mostly inborn, but I completely support those who find it a choice.

Do not let the Religious right shape our argument.

Trust me, I still feel awful I can't have normal sex like the way I feel... I didn't start this JUST because of it though... Hell NO. I don't like the idea of being celibate... But nothing more than bs appetizers ever occur with me anyway in the grand scheme...

Its a lot of things though... When I'm not totally dysphoric, and more encouraged that side starts to come out more. Hopefully art school will keep it drawn out so I can get to know it better. We'll see how my blood test results get back and see if I really do have major T issues still... ; ;

But I felt... A HUGE lack of those feelings a few months into HRT... Like six. Its only been recently for some reason. Maybe this town etc and depression.

But I... Feel so much more like myself inside from the HRT. I'm just more receptive... Hopefully it will be worked out a little better soon, but its not just sex. Thats a small piece... But not even close to the whole thing.

I said No. I hate being put into a fetish category. My current counselor tends to treat this like a fetish and it drives me nuts because to me it's not about sex. Sure, I've gotten aroused at some point during dressing in the past but I don't see that as any primary reason for transition or even just cding in general. If it was just that and I left it all in the bedroom, my wife would probably be much happier about the whole situation.

I read some stuff about categorizing heterosexual mtfs as autogenophelia lately and I was horrified. It seems to me that just because I can have sexual thoughts of being a woman, it doesn't mean that's my primary reason for transitioning. And such, I shouldn't be labled as only doing it because of a "sexual fetish."

I told my mother and father that if I couldn't orgasm after transition, I would still want to do it. I have only been having sex for 5 years now but I realize that it's not the most important thing in life.

It started out as primarily for sex, now it's just to feel "correct".

No, my decision to transition wasn't "only about the sex"... but I wouldn't go so far as to say that it was totally irrelevant either.
And acquiring a vagina was never part of the equation for me, as I am a non-op, HRT only transperson who doesn't mind having the boy bits, as long as I have a basic female form.

Yeah that is exactly why I am doing it....

A- I fancy girls

B- If it was just for the sex I would buy a strap on.

C- It would be more easier for me to go out and sleep with any bloke as they are easy ;)

Jay