Normally I wouldn't actually post something this trivial...but today was bad enough to where I had to rant.
First, some background...My parents flipped over me transitioning under their roof...so I stopped dressing as a guy and more like my parents approved of for a while, for about 3 years (when I finally moved out of their house and out of the house of anyone that would kick me out on the street as soon as they found me)...in the time, I kept everything that I had in the hopes that once I was financially stable, or at least confident enough, I could pick my real life up again and continue with my plans...and hope that it went better with the 'rents because I was no longer a "confused teen", but an adult that can make choices for myself. During those three years I moved...4 times, once out of country...and my binder as well as most of my male clothing actually got 'misplaced' by my mother, who was storing it...so I had to make due with the 'poor man's option. Now, I have some back problems that run in the family (my mom's actually had to have spinal surgery because of it) that seem to be aggravated by binding with ACE bandages/sport bra combo like I've been doing...so I was told no binding unless I could find a binder with back support. One's in the mail on order finally...but until I get the package, I'm stuck with a sports bra under a sports tank with layers of clothing (which doesn't really hide them, but makes them tolerable around the house).
But today, I went clothes shopping.
It's been a while since I've felt that awkward in public...because of the pressure on my chest I would sort of forget that my chest wasn't properly bound and conducted myself as normal. Unfortunately, I'm 5'3", which means a lot of my clothing is a mix of the boy's section and the men's section...so I head to the boys' section to pick up some undershirts and there's a mother and her 6 or 7-year old son sitting there...and both are staring at me like I'm a pedophile. Blatant staring, not just a glance or two...so I figure, ok, I'll relocate to the men's section for boxers I needed...and got pretty much the same reaction from an older man standing next to me. I've never felt 'comfortable' shopping for underwear (don't ask me why...) for any gender...but this was nerve-wracking.
I finally grab the crap I need and head up to the counter...and I pass as a guy, with the exception of today, where I had a very obvious "female" indicator...and I don't know what to think of this, because I could see the clerk was trying her damndest to not use any word that would denote gender, male or female. This was a little insulting but a little funny at the same time. She also refused to make eye contact the entire time.
Normally I'd consider parts about my body uncomfortable and awkward...it just seemed like today it was obvious to everyone. I know a part of that was me torturing myself in my mind, "oh god, they see me as a girl"...I subconsciously love causing myself anxiety.
WTB tit removal...and if possible, an extra 3-4 inches of height.
Sorry Chris,
Sounds as if you had one of those yuk days. :laugh: :laugh:
For fun. Tie your feet to the top of the door and hang upside down. Hold a heavy weight in your arms, at least 20kgs. This may strech you, but more likely, make you feel a heap better when you stop!! :laugh: :laugh:
Sorry useless advice just trying for a laugh. I'm also tiny and when I shop for boy stuff I have to go to the boy section and always get funny looks. When I'm in the female clothes area I get dirty looks 'cos I'm a size 8-10 (Australian) and smaller than most GG. Swings and Roundabouts.
Just wish someone could have got it right.
Then again, given up on Gods.
Take care you paedophile you :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Luv and Hugs
Cindy
It's not just height and chest..
I'm 6'2 and my chest binds rather well and rather easily, and yet, out and about, I don't pass worth dirt.
If you, at your height, already pass rather well (when you bind) you got a head start on me, even without them inches.
I am only 5'4, no one ever commented about it pre-hrt.
And as for the woman at the shop I am not sure what happened there, i mean, she could think you were buying cloths for the boyfriend if she thought you are a girl.
Otherwise she might just be weird or saw a guy with breasts (it happens! I saw quite a bit of them and they didn't seem like trans)
She might have been embarrassed or just herself.
That's kind of odd. I shop for men's clothes and underwear all the time now. People may just think I'm buying them for someone else, but it's obvious when I'm trying them on in a dressing room. No one seems to care or even notice. Maybe it's because of my age? Or I live in a big city?
BTW I don't pass right now at all. I have noticed that the longer I'm on T the less ma'ams I get or no gender terms are used, even though I'm not doing anything different than before T. Anyway, I consider myself short for a guy but have no problem finding & wearing men's clothes. I can't imagine wearing boy's sizes- they'd never fit. Don't worry about it if people are watching you strangely when your buying clothes. I bet within a few days they won't remember it anyway.
Yeah I have a similar problem. I am 5'4 so I can't go to stores like goodwill and buy stuff in the mens section-everythings too big. And I am a womens 6 in shoes so I just try to find unisex shoes because I don't even know if I could find mens shoes my size. I guess I could shop in the boys section but whatevs. Don't care what other people think, you are who you are.
something that helps is confidence. If you're uncomfortable and feel like people are watching you, they'll be watching you. If you just calmly walk into the mens section and do your shopping no one will pay any mind. Hell I've shopped in both the mens and womens sections at the same store and never got any looks not even at the register with the mix of products.
Quote from: Osiris on August 25, 2009, 07:28:40 PM
something that helps is confidence. If you're uncomfortable and feel like people are watching you, they'll be watching you. If you just calmly walk into the mens section and do your shopping no one will pay any mind. Hell I've shopped in both the mens and womens sections at the same store and never got any looks not even at the register with the mix of products.
Thats so true. I was in goodwill and there was a man there with a women. He was shopping for womens clothing but noone really cared because he looked confident.
No one cared because he was shopping at Goodwill, and as a society, we don't care about people who shop at thrift stores. On the other hand, I go to Nordstroms and Macy's in guy drab, and ask to try on dresses, and they couldn't be more helpful.
Money talks, BS walks.
Quote from: tekla on August 25, 2009, 08:02:30 PM
No one cared because he was shopping at Goodwill, and as a society, we don't care about people who shop at thrift stores.
Yes, this. Thrift stores are where low income people and college students (not always a redundant statement) shop. No one would look twice if a man was shopping for a dress, octomom showed up with her brood or a couple of frat boys wanted to buy a used couch.
I think people in a goodwill don't want to cause a scene because they don't want to draw attention to the fact they're in a goodwill :laugh:.
No matter how much the "alternative" crowd try to make it cool, there's still a bit of a stigma about it.
And if you're well enough adjusted to look around a goodwill without feeling weird about it, then you're usually well adjusted enough to deal with people who "aren't like you" without screeching, baring teeth and flinging poo.
I actually usually prefer getting certain things from goodwill (jackets, belts, and sometimes jeans) because I like the worn look to it...and not spending a lot helps too, what with all the imminent medical expenses, I can use the cash.
I think it's a lot about confidence...being seen as a girl pisses me off and I get self-conscious about it when I can't hide it.