...when the dysphoria is absolute? When it refuses to be pushed aside any longer, and nothing else exists outside and beyond it?
My sleep has been broken since I was a kid anyway.
I lack deep sleep rest.
I'm constantly so exhausted that even when the dysphoria is at it's worst, I fall asleep, and sleep through the night (with several breaks where I wake up), and then I wake up still exhausted, cause I couldn't get into the deep sleep where you get actual rested.
"restful sleep" is an oxymoron in my life..
:/
Go and charge around and hike for miles and surf and swim and wrestle and clean yards etc you'll have no problem sleeping.
As for adults, try working out. Learn to hit the weights and at least you'll feel a bit better, it "mans you up" a bit and is great for sleep.
Exercise is a good option. So is starting to deal with the dysphoria. Find a therapist, get started with transition, if that's your path.
I had a horrible time sleeping for quite a while. I was fighting with myself: transition or no? Just couldn't get to sleep, and if I did, the nightmares didn't allow for especially good rest. Dealing with the root of the problem has quieted my mind and granted some much-needed sleep. Thankfully. I was sick of spending life being about as animated as one of the living dead.
Until I started transitioning I didn't. One thing I noticed right away was how much better I slept. I think therapy is a good place to start that might help with the sleeplessness.
Myles
I hear the girl in me scream in my head when it gets bad. I try to ignore it and bind my chest and put on boxers and it goes away.
What is this sleep you speak of... this strange act I cannot dare comprehend?
Anywho, I feel for ya. I don't sleep till I'm flat out dead exhausted. Which means I don't usually sleep till five or seven in the morning. I get depressed at the thought of laying down and having all that time to think before I pass out.
But like stated before, being very active and physically tiring yourself out is a great way to do it. If you are a big reader, I sometimes read until I pass out. It keeps the mind focused on something else entirely.
I always had problem with sleeping.
I like to stay up all night, when its possible... And I like to sleep during the day.
I don't know why...
Usually I go to sleep when I'm totally exhausted.
And I listen to music almost every night.
It keeps me from thinking about my crazy life...
When its at its worst for me, I walk for miles and miles. It usually helps me clear my head, rationalize at times.
Quote from: Eryk on September 06, 2009, 03:43:43 PM
I had a horrible time sleeping for quite a while. I was fighting with myself: transition or no? Just couldn't get to sleep...
I would stay awake for hours over this. I'm sleeping better now, but I'm still kept awake sometimes when I think about coming out to certain people and planning for the future. These thoughts never seem to leave me. :-\
Quote from: Carlisle on September 06, 2009, 10:40:12 AM
...when the dysphoria is absolute? When it refuses to be pushed aside any longer, and nothing else exists outside and beyond it?
Well not very well. It's midnight over here and I have school to be up for and what am I doing now?
The insomnia haunts me. Maybe it'll get better.
SilverFang
I tend to despair and sob into my pillow for an hour or more. I don't like the sobfests, cos too often the tears are accompanied by suicidal thoughts.
Sometimes I get furious. I scared my new roomie last week by suddenly jumping off the [top] bunk and storming around muttering angrily in Spanish around midnight.
Often I stay up until 4 in the morning frantically surfing the web for more advice and tips on 'passing'. Thank goodness all my classes start at 10 or later.
If the anger is still there in the morning, I make an appt to talk with a school counselor which is all I can afford at this point.
I've found mediation and calm, wordless music helps. :)
When it gets that bad?
I don't. I stay up, read books, clean house, weave rugs, organize stuff, play mmorpgs, write, paint; anything that'll occupy my mind until morning-time. Usually run on caffeine the next day (irritable and nervous as I get) and can sleep the following evening or night from exhaustion. Exercise can help, so long as it's two or more hours before bed.
Over-the-counter sleep aids always screwed me up more than they helped, but might be an option for some people.
I take st. john's wort, on my own schedule.
It's an over the counter, herbal supplement, traditionally taken for sleep issues and "milder" depression.
It gets me through the day and I think it's helping my sleep a fair bit.
Herbal =/= Safe.
It does have a lot less side effects than SSRI type meds, but it can give people photosensitivity, and cause certain other medications to simply, "not work".. It renders the birthcontrol-pill useless and interferes with heart medications and AIDS meds. So even if these things are awesome for me as I'm not taking anything else at the moment, they might not be right for everyone.
Melatonin is also supposed to help put you to sleep. It doesn't have any nasty side effects either.
Everything "can" have side-effects.
Wikipedia states that "Some unwanted effects in some people, especially at high doses (~3 mg/day or more) may include: headaches, nausea, next-day grogginess or irritability, hormone fluctuations, vivid dreams or nightmares and reduced blood flow."
The side effects are reported but not necessarily likely. And I wouldn't recommend high doses that would have unhealthy risks. Too much of anything is bad for you. I just recommend it over other prescriptions because your body produces it naturally anyways.
Melatonin has given me really vivid dreams (and occasionally nightmares) that I have trouble 'coming back to reality' from in the mornings; even at the recommended dosage. Just FYI for anyone who's considering it for themselves.
Quote from: CodyJess on September 17, 2009, 06:30:12 PM
Melatonin has given me really vivid dreams (and occasionally nightmares) that I have trouble 'coming back to reality' from in the mornings; even at the recommended dosage. Just FYI for anyone who's considering it for themselves.
That's good to know and hear from someone who actually has had the side effects. I haven't really had that happen to me yet. But I don't take it hardly ever and my dreams are always pretty freakin' vivid on their own. I wouldn't know the difference.
On another note. I also often watch whatever series I haven't seen yet on Hulu and try to pass out starring at my computer. Doesn't help the best for sleep, but when you run out of things to do at 4 in the morning it's something.
The dysphoria has never got so bad for me that I couldn't sleep. The dysphoria kicks in the worst when I'm out in public and people stare at me
Depression tends to make me real lethargic. I sleep like a log :)
This Melatonin can be bought without prescription, I take it?
Quote from: northy on September 18, 2009, 06:16:39 PM
Depression tends to make me real lethargic. I sleep like a log :)
Most of the time i'm the same, although if my anxiety is bad then there is no getting me to sleep without pills.
Quote from: northy on September 18, 2009, 06:16:39 PM
Depression tends to make me real lethargic. I sleep like a log :)
Any depression makes me lethargic but it wont let my sleep. So I'll be stressed and anxious and very tired without being able to sleep whatsoever.
The other night I didn't sleep at all so I ended up going over 40 hours awake before dieing in the pillows last night. I think it was the only reason I was able to sleep on time yesterday. But I went to bed at 11 and didn't wake till 1 in the afternoon. :/ This cannot be good for anyone...
Quote from: Jörgen, on September 18, 2009, 06:39:29 PM
This Melatonin can be bought without prescription, I take it?
Yeah. At least in the states and Canada, I honestly have no idea about anywhere else. it's usually with the Vitamin C and stuff.