Lately, at school people have been looking at me funny when I walk into the bathroom, so I've started to avoid it. I would go in there to change into gym clothes, and you know how all the girls just love to sit and chat in the bathroom, so when I walked out, they all just stared. Its the same thing when I'm walking in just too use it. I usually ignore it, but its kind of annoying having people stare at you like your some kind of weirdo.
I know I'm not the only one who has had this problem, but what did you do when it happened?
Yeah a few people do. Once you transition more to male it supposedly happens less
Not any more.
Though I swear these two young guys I passed on a walk yesterday commented on me - they started laughing immediately after passing me and made comments about 'that face.' Possibly they weren't talking about me at all and it was all coincidental. I think I look fairly normal now, though my beard is more of the Amish variety with a thin moustache.
Jay
Yes, Or maybe I'm paranoid. One of the two.
Yes, but I also thought that people looked at me funny long before I transitioned (when I appeared entirely hetero-normal female). I am extremely paranoid and suspect everyone who looks at me of making fun of me. I also know that I pass (everyone I'm currently associated with has no idea what I am, or if they do, they keep their thoughts to themselves very well). Furthermore, I live in the Bay Area, so I'm at far more "clocking" risk here than I would be pretty much anywhere else in the world.
99% of people have no idea what an FTM is or even that they exist. 0.99% have heard vaguely of one or two - those one or two being Chaz Bono and Thomas Beatie. The other 0.01% either know an FTM or are FTMs/MTFs themselves.
We've all probably been clocked (and "clocked" in our case would usually mean "percieved as butch lesbian", since FTMs are far less hounded by the media than MTFs) long after we thought we passed at least once, but we usually never find out that we were; while MTFs recieve decent surgery from society, FTMs recieve anonymity (unless more Thomas Beaties and Chaz Bonos keep emerging from the newsroom woodworks).
And to be a little bit on-topic, OP, you sound as though you're being mistaken for butch lesbian (or rightly percieved as male) in the women's locker room. This is a good thing. Yes, even butch lesbian is a step in the perception process. When you have a beard, rest assured that you will be far less welcome in the women's locker room than you are currently.
I get funny looks all the time. Little kids are the best. They're so HONEST.
They just stare and stare.
Quote from: Alex_C on September 11, 2009, 01:09:53 AM
I get funny looks all the time. Little kids are the best. They're so HONEST.
They just stare and stare.
Ah-ha, that may be the only way to know if you truly pass (MTF or FTM): to work regularly with little children. Younger children have no politically-correct filter; they're like minature alcoholics.
LOL I like the way your mind malfunctions!
If someone wanted to 'discuss' why I was in the 'wrong' bathroom I used to just grab my chest and stick 'em out and say "do you see these??!!" or "didn't mummy and daddy teach you the difference??"
No wonder I have had so many 'discussions' in the ladies room... hmmm :-\
Cheers
Jay
petzjazz -
The ftms I have seen at the support meeting look pretty much like any other guy! perhaps a bit younger at times.
There were 2 guys who one of them been for about 2 years on t and another who I am not sure how long, that I only asked them because they sat together with some people I know from the meeting.
And I couldn't get myself to ask them "are you under hrt?" because of how they looked, I tried to study them for a while before asking.. and I decided I'd ask "are you also coming to the meeting?" and that's it.
I really doubt you guys need surgery./. I think time does it all for you.
I might be wrong of course! it's just from my experience.
Little kids as someone said, are probably the best test.. but you should probably only worry about it after 2 years or so.
I was so happy when a 5 years old kid asked why everyone calls me as if I was a guy :D
Being on this site has been very educational for me, and yeah, for us FTMs time and T do it for us, with only two exceptions, chest and whatever we feel we need to do in the peenee dept.
In the case of you gals, sheesh - actual work on the bones of the face, actually shaving down the adam's apple, chest that may or may not grow, and then a large THING that can't be ignored. You gals have a much harder path in life it seems to me, you have guts.
In SF people will always look at you funny, because you're funny to someone else, in the same way that other people are funny to you - its endless amusement.
Yep! And I'm originally a Southern California product and down there, the hip cool thing to do is go someplace like a bar or trendy coffee shop and ... ignore each other!
In fact suffering from living in Newport Beach, I even did a bit of experimentation, Diane Fossey among the stacks of brie: I noticed in the market that women there would, upon making accidental eye contact, do a sort of turn-head-aside-and-up maneuver coupled with a facial expression that looked like they'd seen a seagull poop; to the extent of having seen the poop actually exit the bird up close. So! - to experiment with this gesture, I'd do it too when the opportunity presented itself to do it in context, occasionally achieving the rare and desirable Simultaneous Snoot.
People are SO interesting. This is one reason I love "working" in Santa Cruz. In fact one of the street people I've kinda befriended came up to me and asked me, as any bio-male will feel it his right and duty to ask. "are you a he-she, a she-he, or a she-she?" I replied that I'm a he-she on even days, a she-he on odd days, and when I've had too much coffee and gotta "go", I'm a she-she!
This last candidness and joking because I'm kinda transitioning in public, my "work" requires being out there talking with people, lots of verve lol. This means that the people on Pacific Avenue are getting to watch me become more manly over time, it's gonna be funny when I'm really fully male in appearance and I get to use The Force on them. By this I mean, the vast vast majority will be people who've walked by, seen me, but not registered me much, and they'll "remember" me as having been male all along. A few will think something like, "I *know* you were female, what gives?" and I'll tell them I was sick or something. A very very few will challenge me because it challenges their own sanity, they KNEW they saw a gal now they see a guy, are they going CRAZY?? Those are the ones I tell, "What? That's rediculous! You must have me mistaken for someone else, I've been male all along" etc while looking at them oddly. And thus the victor gets to rewrite history.
And if any of you go to Walmart dressed like this, y'all need to be looked at way more than funny!! LOL
http://peopleofwalmart.com (http://peopleofwalmart.com)
Egads. What are they thinking?!
Jay
Quote from: tekla on September 11, 2009, 01:49:06 PM
In SF people will always look at you funny, because you're funny to someone else, in the same way that other people are funny to you - its endless amusement.
I like your view here :D
I laugh at people all the time
Quote from: sneakersjay on September 11, 2009, 03:52:11 PM
And if any of you go to Walmart dressed like this, y'all need to be looked at way more than funny!! LOL
http://peopleofwalmart.com (http://peopleofwalmart.com)
Egads. What are they thinking?!
Jay
Totally off topic here, but Jay... you are my new personal hero for posting this link.
SD
Looked at funny: check
Laughed at by some stupid dudes: check
Stared at, by kids and adults alike: check and check
Had some lady scream when she saw me in the women's washroom: check (and yes, I said scream...)
But I get maam'd probably as much as I get sir'd, so I can't really justify using the men's room yet.
Can't wait for T, but have to wait at least a year (the only doctor who can refer me - in the whole province apparently - has a 12 - 18 month waiting list. And I still have to wait another two weeks to see my family doc to even get referred to him anyhow...).
I get looked at funny all the time, but not necessarily because I look male-ish (since I don't). I guess it's the way I dress. People of ALL age groups stare at me. I just don't make eye contact with them. I'm easily intimidated by public people....One time some kid in the market saw me with my hat on and said "Look a cowboy!" My mom leaned over and said "At least he called you a boy". I smiled and took the kids comment and my moms as a compliment
Quote from: sneakersjay on September 11, 2009, 03:52:11 PM
And if any of you go to Walmart dressed like this, y'all need to be looked at way more than funny!! LOL
http://peopleofwalmart.com (http://peopleofwalmart.com)
Egads. What are they thinking?!
Jay
Oh my f'in g...
I absolutely CANNOT stop laughing. My cheeks hurt and I'm running out of tears. I'm in love with you Jay for posting that site. Holy flarking snurt. So funny.
{catches breath, wipes tears, goes back to site...}
Quote from: James O.O on September 11, 2009, 10:19:01 PM
I get looked at funny all the time, but not necessarily because I look male-ish (since I don't). I guess it's the way I dress. People of ALL age groups stare at me. I just don't make eye contact with them. I'm easily intimidated by public people....One time some kid in the market saw me with my hat on and said "Look a cowboy!" My mom leaned over and said "At least he called you a boy". I smiled and took the kids comment and my moms as a compliment
Your mom sounds like a nice person :)
I just looked at ALL of the People Of WalMart photos, there's some "interesting" stuff on there.
Yes I understand about the pine box.
I'm starting to get sir'd more, very cool.
Quote from: Myself on September 11, 2009, 11:21:02 PM
Your mom sounds like a nice person :)
She is, she knows I like being called a boy. But she still doesn't get the transgender thing yet
I look like an NFL Lineman. Do People look at me funny? Mostly afraid. They don't know I am a very kind and gentle person. a person here helped me to understand that. She is wonderful
Sorry, didn't have time to read all the posts.
To the original question: this happens to me a lot. I never go to the bathroom at school, because it's horrible to have to use a girl's bathroom. In our PE locker rooms, everyone looked at me funny on the first day, but I guess they figure I can't be a guy in the girl's locker room, for a couple reasons: 1, I had a locker to open, indicating the teacher had given it to me verifying I belonged there, and 2, I had to get undressed in front of all of them, and I don't think that anyone could argue that I'm not a girl after seeing part of my huge boobs. And although all these reasons make me mad, at least they don't all stare anymore.
I guess I would just ignore them, and if you can, train yourself to not need to go to the bathroom during school time.