Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So I'm curious as to which washroom everyone uses. Also if you would like to post whether you're pre-T or on t, that would be great.

As for myself, I started using the men's room this year at college and I'm pre-T.

Women's because I have to right now. Although I have confused someone before while in there.

I avoid public bathrooms whenever possible.  It's really isn't because of being trans; it's mostly because the idea of using the same bathroom as SO MANY other people seems gross to me.  Although when I DO use the public bathroom, it's the ladies room...  I don't pass at all right now.  :P  It can't be helped.

Oh yeah, and I'm pre-T as well.

Im pre t. I pass well enough that if I went into the mens room with a piss packer and dont speak ill be fine. Until then though I use the ladies but I dont like to so I avoid it as much as possible.

I'm a man, so I use the men's room. I started using it as soon as I figured out that I needed to transition, except very occasionally if I didn't feel safe. I've never had any hassle using it - it's true that men don't take any notice of others and just get on with doing their business and getting out of there. I don't use an STP device, so I always have to use the stall, but that's only very rarely been a problem. I've been on T for 2 years now, so it'd be impossible for me to use the women's room anyway!

Mens..

Jay

I still use the Women's, mainly because despite being on T for 5 months, I still don't usually pass.   >:(  However, I'm going to be coming out at work in a couple weeks (have an appointment with HR on Tuesday to hammer out the details) so I'll be switching to the men's at that point.

I avoid public bathrooms as much as I can, but I do use the male bathroom at the gym, my mum works there so all members of staff there know and said I could, but I only go in at times when not many are using the gym.

I'm pre T sadly.

Pre T and Mens unless I feel safety to be an issue. Then I just leave as there is usually a tree outside somewhere which needs watering.

I can pass only some of the time (pre-T) so I use the ladies' the majority of the time. If I'm actively trying to pass as male, and if I know the restroom isn't usually crowded, then I'll use the men's.

Funny enough, I've gotten funny looks from patrons in both facilities. Once in an airport, I wasn't even trying to pass-- no chest binding, voice altering, nothing-- and I was initially redirected to the men's by a worker until I indicated my tumors. I would have taken her directions, only I was with my Mum and it would've been really awkward had she seen me emerge from the men's, haha.

I'm an ass; I tend to end up in the handicap washrooms. Whatever locking-door single-stall restroom I can find in public is my best option; sometimes there's unisex, usually it's a handicap. I'd take a port-o-toilet over a crowded restroom any day except a windy one. Sometimes I end up in the women's room, but if I can hear other people in there, I usually end up just leaving. I've been eyeballed too many times by women coming in as I'm trying to get out.

Haven't braved the men's room yet; not one that's more than one stall inside.

Oh, and pre-t.

I never use the bathrooms while out shopping or while at school. I've adjusted my bladder so that I never have to go at school.  :) I avoid the bathrooms at school like the plague.

I switched to the mens as soon as I had the gender marker changed on my DL, which only takes a letter from a therapist here in Oregon.
Cheers,
Myles

womens unless theres a queue then i use the mens

Quote from: Adam on September 27, 2009, 03:54:51 PM
So I'm curious as to which washroom everyone uses. Also if you would like to post whether you're pre-T or on t, that would be great.

The dude's room. been on T for 4 yrs (its gonna be 4 yrs this november).

It depends for me. I usually don't pass yet, but I'll use the men's if it's a single toilet. Once I get my STP packer I might feel more comfortable using a public men's bathroom. We'll see. I've been on T for about 2 1/2 months.

Men's.

I'd likely get arrested if I used the ladies room.



Jay

I avoid public washrooms, but I picked "it depends".
Sometimes you just have to go, and then, whenever possible, I take the men's. (Mostly because there are single-stall-washrooms around here and so I can lock the door and not even have to be seen in the men's room at all and so I don't feel, ever, out of place.

I am more curious about people going to men's pre-T! :O and how does it work for them too :D

Is it like just anyone else? some awkwardness? all pass perfectly?

I don't pass worth dirt myself but I can't stomach the woman's anything anymore. It's just wrong for me.

Womens now, because I don't pass. Though usually I will avoid public bathrooms entirely.

When I was younger I could get away with passing as a young guy and used the mens if necessary.

Not on T, but am post-transition, use men's. Although since I am still in a place where although I pass and go stealth, there are people who know me from before, so I try to time it so I'm never in the bathroom with someone who knows me to be trans, just cause it's awkward.

i have used the mens since the day i cut my hair.  i used the mens room for over a year pre T and have been on T for 9 months and have of course, continued to use the mens.

I'm pre-T, only pass occasionally. I've only used the women's so far. I really REALLY want to use the men's, because I just hate having to walk into the women's washroom, it feels degrading to me for some reason. Like I'm exiled to the women's washroom cuz I'm not enough of a man to use the men's room.

And I've startled a few women before. One time, one lady even screamed! I was thinking "even if I was a bio-dude, I was in here first, so it's not like I followed you in for ill-intent. I was washing my hands when you walked in, and promptly left (it was as I was walking to the door that she screamed, and she was already over by the cubicles, so it's not like I was walking towards her). What do you think I was going to do that was worth screaming? sheesh..."

But pretty much the only public bathrooms I use are at work, and I'm not out at work, so despite the desire I have to change to men's, and despite the confusion it might create, I'm stuck in the ladies' for now...  :embarrassed:

Pre-T, sometimes I pass on accident. So women's.

SilverFang

I have to use the womens restroom for now. Don't pass enough, and if I do I haven't gotten enough confirmation to know if making a move like that is all too safe. I feel awkward though.

On T for 3.5 months and so far have not passed much, but that may be starting to change, it was all Sir's last time I was out and around running errands.

So, I may have to start using the men's, I have a few times but may have to look at using it pretty much fulltime or at least staying out of the women's. That means using places that are one-user/unisex, handicap, etc. And in the men's using a stall since I've not got the STP thing working yet.

I use the female washrooms and have done for years now.

I use the women's. I'm pre-T, haven't gotten a haircut yet so my hair's still long, and the closest thing I have to a binder is two sports bras. As a consequence, I do not pass at all. I would use the men's if I did pass, though.

I'm pre-T, but I pass really well. I've never used the men's bathroom (Too scared  :-\ I just sneak into the women's when no one is looking, or I just hold it 'til I get home, ahaha~!), but I always use the men's changing rooms. Those are easier.

I'm pre-T and I too pass fairly well most of the time, but I still use the women's bathroom. In school, I use a unisex, single stall bathroom that is only used by teachers (special arrangements makes this possible). My confidence isn't high enough to be able to use the men's room, even though I'd really like to.

Sometimes I avoid bathrooms all together and wait until I get home.

I hadda go today and I was in Wal-Mart so I went to the bathrooms in back, that are hardly used, and went into the women's. Two hispanic ladies were in there and they both said "Ai!". Then when I came out of the stall, one was in a stall and one was out, and I think she said "Ai!" again.

I just need to use the dang mens'.

Quote from: Alex_C on October 10, 2009, 04:01:35 AM
I hadda go today and I was in Wal-Mart so I went to the bathrooms in back, that are hardly used, and went into the women's. Two hispanic ladies were in there and they both said "Ai!". Then when I came out of the stall, one was in a stall and one was out, and I think she said "Ai!" again.

I just need to use the dang mens'.

why arent you?!  O_O

Because I'm a wuss I guess!

See now you, all you have to do, if some guy even looks at you sideways, is give 'em that look in your avatar, and they'll run screaming.

I don't have that option. Maybe if I imagine the old M-16 sight picture....

Quote from: Alex_C on October 10, 2009, 04:20:06 AM
Because I'm a wuss I guess!

See now you, all you have to do, if some guy even looks at you sideways, is give 'em that look in your avatar, and they'll run screaming.

I don't have that option. Maybe if I imagine the old M-16 sight picture....

well if youre scaring women i dont think any guys will be looking at you.  unless they think you are cute.  ;)

Men's.  On T for 5 months, though I started using the men's room of an on in April 2008, so as you can see the testosterone hasn't had much to do with it.

Gay guys DO think I'm cute!

Quote from: sneakersjay on September 28, 2009, 07:42:03 AM
Men's.

I'd likely get arrested if I used the ladies room.



Jay

Only if you live in Kentucky! The vast majority of states have laws stating that you can't be arrested or harassed for using the opposite-sex restroom. Of course, this doesn't mean you won't encounter problems, but still.

I use the men's room. I have used the men's room for the past over 3 years, and have been on T for only about a year and 3 months, so I'm sure you guys can do the math. I was harassed for using the women's room multiple times prior to going on T--- heck, prior to even attempting to pass. I had some older women actually drive me out of a rest stop women's room in Illinois once when I had long hair and was wearing a padded bra. People are strange.

I didn't pass too well before T... I did at first, but then I moved to a place where people were more attuned to transfolk, and was read more often than not. I didn't care; I used the men's room regardless. Now, it's a total non-issue.

SD

Lol, yes, but bushes can be dangerous. I will never forget when I was with my ex-wife and needed a bathroom... everywhere was closed, so we pulled over at an I-Hop that was completely deserted (if you can believe it, the I-Hop was closed, too). I went behind a dumpster, just to be safe, and squatted... just as I started to piss, this guy burst out of the bushes. He stared at me for a minute while I tried to yank my pants up, then muttered something and ran away. Seriously... weird. And crazy embarrassing.

I'll stick with indoor facilities, tyvm.

SD

Ahh supposedly deserted places .... I went by this little liquor store the other night, it's like 10:30 at night, well they close at 9 or something I just wanted to see if maybe they'd changed their hours, but they were closed, deserted. It was cold, windy, not a night you'd expect anyone to be around, I'm turning around in the parking lot and there's a gal out there, doing what I don't know, collecting cans? Lives on the street around there?

In this new Depression age of hobos, squatters, and wanderers, I'd not assume anyplace is deserted any more.

Yep, gotta love California. I believe my embarrassing incident was there, as well.

California has far less homeless than anyplace else in the US I've been. Far far less.

You evidently haven't been to the east bay.

I have an agreement with the east bay, I don't bother it and it doesn't bother me. I used to go to Livermore once a month but those times are long past.

No I avoid Oakland, da EPA, Bayview/Hunter's Point,  and for that matter the Tenderloin. Heck I even avoid the public bathrooms in Santa Cruz, due to the muggings and heroine activity - I learned I'd made a good choice nosing around after a stabbing right around there, the city workers told me they have cameras in there and it's amazing.

But I digress. .... yes California has bad areas, but similar amounts of crime and homelessness occur in "nice" areas outside of CA I've seen it.

Why do you, "avoid oakland"? I live on the border of Oak/Berk, and find it a pretty chill place. 5 years and counting. There's drugs wherever you go, I've lived all over..and have found it's worse in the small towns. Homelessness is a modern day epidemic, get used to their faces.

In reality Oakland is far away enough that I just haven't gone there and don't intend to start. I'd go to Livermore once a month for an electronics/ham radio swap meet, go right there and go right back, and that was the sum total of my contact with the East Bay.

I've heard it can be pretty cool being around berkeley, there's just no concrete reason for me to go there, so I don't go.

I went to a party in fremont once. I looked for a gem and mineral show around the Fremont area (a big one held yearly) and after an hour or so of driving around gave up and went home.

I just don't have much use for the East Bay. Although, "nicer" areas outside of California tend to have crime rates that rival Oakland.

Women's because its at work and they don't know.

I did my "usual" workday on Pacific Avenue in Santa Cruz, and I generally use the bathroom in Book Shop Santa Cruz as my default location, well, every time I went to use the women's (it's cleaner) there was a line or a whole bunch of gals in there who'd just look at me really funny so I just went into the men's, sure it smells like a lot of men's pee, which is what my own smells like, and when I'm in the smaller stall I get to hear some guy peeing in the urinal right next to it, but so far there's not a line, and it's get in, get out, no hairy eyeballs. Not even when I wash my face and hands in the sink, pretty much a necessity when after putting in 40-50 miles on the motorcycle getting there, I always get some kinda junk on my face that makes me less respectable looking if I don't wash.

So the men's may well become my bathroom, acrid smells aside I'm already starting to feel more at home. Maybe I should bring some WD-40 to spray around to make it smell better (Yes like most guys I think WD-40 smells good).

Quote from: Alex_C on October 19, 2009, 03:25:41 AMSo the men's may well become my bathroom, acrid smells aside I'm already starting to feel more at home. Maybe I should bring some WD-40 to spray around to make it smell better (Yes like most guys I think WD-40 smells good).

WD-40 doesn't have a bad smell, I like it. I used to know this one guy who would use it as deodorant.

ok well it depends.. I am 18, pre T and I dont pass.. ok well I pass.. but maybe as a 14 year old

so, I'm in college.. which means everyone know's I'm 18, SO I use the womens because I cant pass male in college

BUT if I am feeling confident I may go to the mens bathroom somewhere else.. somewhere that I CAN BE a 14 year old guy.  But I haven't really used that many mens bathrooms, cause If I get questioned in a womans room, I can just show them.

I am mtf & have avoided this part of the forum, not out of fear, but I feel like I'm walking into a guys lockerroom & I believe you guys should have a place to go to get away from the girls whenever you wish. I have to confess I was SHOCKED, & saddened to find this was even an issue, aside from open showers. I would like to try & give you what encouragement I can. I can't imagine many guys worrying or caring even if they suspect something/anything. #1 ruel in the guys room I was forced to use, don't look at another guys package unless you're both openly gay.

These days I'm passing randomly about 50% and the same goes for which bathroom I go into, frankly I'm getting less funny looks in the men's in fact no looks at all.

Unfortunately, the ladies room. I would prefer to use the mens room, and I have many times before, but currently I'm in a relationship with a cisgendered man and he usually runs to occupy the mens room- what am I gonna do, wait around outside while he's in there so I can use it? Save time, just swallow it and use the womens. It's kind of emasculating and probably gives him the wrong idea(that I use it because that's 'my' restroom. It's not.) but whatever. I'm not sure having a Serious Discussion about taking turns using the mens potty is profoundly important. I'll keep using the womens room until it starts to seriously bother me.

If there is no other way around it I will use the women's quickly, but otherwise I look for a gender neutral or hold it till I get home.  I feel very out of place in the ladies room but I won't pass as male (the chest lumps).

Men's.

Pre-T

I used a men's public restroom yesterday. What was odd as there were more stalls than urinals. I've used men's before if it was just one toilet but never a public one. If I went in pre-T I do believe several people would not be happy I was in there. I still don't completely pass but I thought "what the hell".

Sadly I have to use the women's in places where they knew me pre-transition. They'd probably not be too pleased about it. :-\