Sisters, today I'm VERY down. I have been heavily insulted in public. I entered a bus with a bunch of macaques sitting completely behind hurling heavy insults to me like 'What's this 'thing' ?. When we all got down at the final bus station, one of the guys spitted making me understand I was a disgusting being (fortunately not on me, I would have kicked with my high heels).
In the past:
1. (Beginning 2009/ Mid 2004) 2 times people tried to snatch my wig off my head in the bus (I almost slammed the boy with my umbrella and for the 1st time I verbally retaliated in public but other time I could not do much, they were very strong men).
2. (2002) In night club people said 'What's this creature?'.
3. The most common I get almost everyday is a derogatory word used for homosexuals equivalent to the english word '->-bleeped-<-got'.
4. At times people can kill even with just a look, their very negative looks annoy me.
5. What infuriated me the most is the ridicule mockery, laughing like hell on your face insignuating you're a buffoon/clown in the society, I wanna slap them in their faces specially when it's girls laughing at me.
6. (2002) I was thrown an emptu bottle of Coke 0.5, fortunately I managed to dodge.
No wonder how many sisters in the past have committed suicde. As I am now 'official' and full-time, I'm having really big problem to confront this harsh and cruel world.
WHAT'S THE BIGGEST INSULT YOU FACED IN PUBLIC AND HOW YOU DEAL WITH THEM? Me, the only thing I can do is ignore them but it really hurts at the utmost degree inside and I really don't know what to do anymore. :embarrassed:
aww, I'm so sorry you had to endure this, Shelina. Wish there were something I could say to make it better. :embarrassed:
hang in there, little sister.
Sorry you have had to suffer the ignorance of other, My Dear. But hang in there, it will get better.
Usually when I get stared at or I see the snickering, I just say "Take a picture Hon, it lasts longer" I have not been called anything except 'Bitch' ;D or had anything thrown at me or assaulted in anyway.
Janet
An idaho redneck once made a rather detailed off color comment about having sex with me, to which I replied that he would never go back to sheep afterword.
Good god it sounds like things are hard there, I'm sorry you have to deal with that Shelina. It doesn't sound like humor is the best solution for you, but a change of scenery definitely is if at all possible. It kinda sounds to me like you are one wrong look away from being physically hurt with a crowd of cheering onlookers.
The old TV show Kung Fu is out on DVD now. Other people can not harm you with insults, unless you allow them to do so, Grasshopper.
That's really messed up! That is just so over the line. Words & looks are one thing, but when things turn violent it can get scarry fast. It sounds like what Becca said & you live in a particularely bad area. If possible I'd consider moving, that's what I'm gonna do when I can afford to. One thing I've done is to get a concealed weapons permit, but of course that's not for everyone!
I'm not thick skinned by any measure of it, but I've learned to "bubble".
By bubble I mean that, to me, most of the time, "the world" doesn't exist outside the area closest to me. An area as large as I want it to be. Sometimes I fold my legs up under me and curl around a good book or a drawing in progress, and then that bubble (which to me is the whole world) is a mere 3 feet in diameter.
No matter how loudly someone talks at me outside that bubble, no matter what they say, it doesn't reach me. It doesn't exist.
Sure this means that people sometimes have to poke me, litterally, to get my attention, but it's worth it.
The biggest insults tossed my way were mainly due to ignorance or lack of knowledge on the part of the speaker. When referred to as a cross-dresser or TV and I think it's worth while, I tell them to look up the word Transsexual, or words to that effect.
-={LR}=-
Quote from: Matilda on October 01, 2009, 06:11:31 PM
The only time that I experienced something like that was many years ago. I had just started HRT, and my physical appearance was rather androgynous. I was in a train station waiting for my train, and this black guy (who was an station agent) approached me, looked at me from head to toe & said: "Are you queer or something?" My self-esteem was shattered in a matter of seconds. I was younger, inexperienced, recovering from a (then recent) suicide attempt. I said nothing, I just walked away.
Years later, I went back to that same train station. I was no longer that androgynous-looking young person that had been insulted a few years back.
I was just minding my own business, going through the train schedule brochures when this guy approached me and asked me if I needed help. Guess what? it was him, the same station agent who'd insulted me a few years earlier. We started talking about the train schedules, about life, and then it happened, he came on to me, asked me for my phone number & suggested that we have a drink. Of course, I said no and gave him zilch. He was ugly as hell, and besides I am not attracted to black men, but I guess you could say that I had the last laugh.
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I love your story, It gives me spirits that people in the past will eat their own dirt when I am done! :-]
Quote from: Matilda on October 01, 2009, 06:11:31 PM
The only time that I experienced something like that was many years ago. I had just started HRT, and my physical appearance was rather androgynous. I was in a train station waiting for my train, and this black guy (who was an station agent) approached me, looked at me from head to toe & said: "Are you queer or something?" My self-esteem was shattered in a matter of seconds. I was younger, inexperienced, recovering from a (then recent) suicide attempt. I said nothing, I just walked away.
Years later, I went back to that same train station. I was no longer that androgynous-looking young person that had been insulted a few years back.
I was just minding my own business, going through the train schedule brochures when this guy approached me and asked me if I needed help. Guess what? it was him, the same station agent who'd insulted me a few years earlier. We started talking about the train schedules, about life, and then it happened, he came on to me, asked me for my phone number & suggested that we have a drink. Of course, I said no and gave him zilch. He was ugly as hell, and besides I am not attracted to black men, but I guess you could say that I had the last laugh.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi572.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fss161%2Fmatilda23%2F061.gif&hash=8f2301193b0dc73bb2e3c64f938f2048ea1a0591)
Your story made tears come to my eyes, very comforting. I just wished this could happen with me and all my straight love ones. Thanks for your story Matilda, so inspiring, encouraging and uplifting. :)
All that is messed up. Words and looks are one thing, but... watch out for people/situations where things could turn to actual physical violence...
As for me? I've had people scream 'hey, what the ->-bleeped-<- are you?', murmur (loudly) to their friends about the freak that is passing them by, been called 'it' on numerous occasions. 'It' always gets me. Means they've stopped seeing you as a human being. They usually talk like you're an object as well. I've gotten nasty looks of course. I've been followed by a group of surly-looking young skater guys; from what I could gather from their conversation, they wanted to 'show that ->-bleeped-<-got what's up.' Something of the like. This is just the recent stuff. I won't go into the trouble I got when I was a gender-incongruent young child...
Head up and be careful. It will get better. I haven't had a sour look or word in months, though I'm not quite used to it yet...
Quote from: Eryk on October 01, 2009, 11:58:20 PM
All that is messed up. Words and looks are one thing, but... watch out for people/situations where things could turn to actual physical violence...
As for me? I've had people scream 'hey, what the <not allowed> are you?', murmur (loudly) to their friends about the freak that is passing them by, been called 'it' on numerous occasions. 'It' always gets me. Means they've stopped seeing you as a human being. They usually talk like you're an object as well. I've gotten nasty looks of course. I've been followed by a group of surly-looking young skater guys; from what I could gather from their conversation, they wanted to 'show that ->-bleeped-<-got what's up.' Something of the like. This is just the recent stuff. I won't go into the trouble I got when I was a gender-incongruent young child...
Head up and be careful. It will get better. I haven't had a sour look or word in months, though I'm not quite used to it yet...
POUF! Fortunately there's no 'it' in my language's personal pronoun otherwise I'm sure they would have called me 'it' too I'm sure. They were thinking you were gay (mtf) when in fact you're a ftm. At a point of time, people use to think I was a lesbian and I was so happy as they perceived me as a boyish female than now where they literally call me ->-bleeped-<-got. You should take it positively somewhere that they called you ->-bleeped-<-got which means that you look more male over female than more female over male, you see what I mean.
He was ugly as hell, and besides I am not attracted to black men, but I guess you could say that I had the last laugh.
How in God's name is it remotely relevant that the guy was black? Has it occurred to you that perhaps you aren't attracted to black men because of racism? Okay, granted, I'm not attracted to black men either -- but that's because they're men. But even if racism isn't the reason, it's a bit racist in effect, even if unintended, to mention it where it was completely irrelevant to the story.
For instance, someone told me a story about a woman she'd met on a trip to California. The woman in the story was trans. She mentioned this. The story had nothing to do with her being trans. Afterwards, I wondered why she mentioned it, and what she must think of me. If I were black, that's what I would be thinking after reading what you wrote.
I've had half a dozen female friends tell me this year they'd never date black men. And one self-styled white washed hispanic say she married a white man because she didn't want to be controlled by a mexican man.
I'm generally left alone. I don't make a lot of eye contact in public places so I don't even really know if people stare at me.
A long time ago, at a restaurant with a dance floor and some female friends, someone overheard a comment by a bar patron that all the girls were hot except the one in black (that'd be me.) And around that time a group of kids at the food court asked me what my name was and laughed. I'm dumb, so it took me like a year and a half to realize they were betting on what gender I was (I gave my male name, anyway - back then a lot of people thought they went to high school with me, for some reason.) And one time when I was dropping in to my laser spa some 11 year old skater prick poked in the door and called me a ->-bleeped-<-got and ran off. He's lucky that I was so simply stunned by the experience, because I would have put the fear of god into him.
All in all people have been silent, oblivious, or respectful... I suppose I should cherish that. In fact, come to think of it - the worst abuse i've received in public was from customers who I was passing with (who were just ->-bleeped-<-s.)
Quote from: Alyssa M. on October 02, 2009, 12:25:51 AM
He was ugly as hell, and besides I am not attracted to black men, but I guess you could say that I had the last laugh.
How in God's name is it remotely relevant that the guy was black? Has it occurred to you that perhaps you aren't attracted to black men because of racism? Okay, granted, I'm not attracted to black men either -- but that's because they're men. But even if racism isn't the reason, it's a bit racist in effect, even if unintended, to mention it where it was completely irrelevant to the story.
For instance, someone told me a story about a woman she'd met on a trip to California. The woman in the story was trans. She mentioned this. The story had nothing to do with her being trans. Afterwards, I wondered why she mentioned it, and what she must think of me. If I were black, that's what I would be thinking after reading what you wrote.
::) Overreact much?
And I reject the insinuation that I must be socially racist if I find men of my own race more attractive than ones of other races.
Has it occurred to you that perhaps you find people who find some men attractive and others not, because you're prejudice against that sexual orientation?
Probably not, because that would be rediculous, but that's kind of my point. ;)
How is it relevant that the guy was black? It wasn't, it was an observation made by the poster. Sure it wasn't hyper politically correct, but I for one would rather not have to live watching every tiny thing I say out of fear it might be interpreted as politically incorrect. And as someone who's not racist and against racism, but does find some races more attractive than others (although for the record I find African Americans to be attractive), I reject the insinuation that that makes me racist.
I'm with Alyssa on this one. I read it that way also.
Quote from: tekla on October 02, 2009, 01:16:14 AM
I'm with Alyssa on this one. I read it that way also.
When I read the post I had absolutely no reaction to it at all, what I did resent is the insinuation that if you find one race attractive and another not, you're a racist. ???
I think it lay more in the use of a qualifier adjective as if it somehow was important. If its pointed out, then it must have been important in some way, and that way is perhaps not in the best interest of a more perfect union.
Quote from: Matilda on October 02, 2009, 01:57:16 AM
Our preferences in what is desirable to us in no way, shape, or form make us racist. Hatred makes a person racist. Skin color is an attribute just like any other quality you might look for or avoid in a partner. If your assumption were correct, Alyssa, then we'd all be sexist or racist or some other ungodly tag because we preferred blondes or blue eyes, or redheads, or feminine women, or masculine men, or Caucasian, or Asian, or Hispanic, or tall guys or curly hair, correct?. I am not attracted to women at all either, I suppose that makes me a sexist, too, huh? ::) Please!
...and another thing, you guys want to discuss "racism"?. Be courteous to Shelina and start a new thread. Don't hijack this one.
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Now I feel stupid, I didn't even think that following the same logic, being any sexual orientation except bisexual would make you a sexist too. :laugh:
If you read my post carefully, you would see that I wasn't denying that some people have a "type." I was simply stating that racism is a common reason for your particular "type" (or whatever the opposite of "type" is).
But way more importantly, when you mention that someone is black when it's not relevant to the story, it tends to diminish the validity of black people. It's like saying "woman doctor" or "lady lawyer" when the gender is irrelevant, or "transsexual woman" when that part of the person's history is irrelevant. It doesn't matter how you meant it: it comes across as racist. If you didn't intend to convey racism in your story, you failed to communicate clearly.
The insult wasn't the worst but I think the experience was.
I was with some friends at a club where another friend bounces
and another tends bar. A couple girls who I had been shooting pool
with invited me to join them and their friends at their table. As I sat
talking with them, one of the girls' boyfriend said nothing but just kept
staring angrily at me. Feeling uncomfortable I excused myself to go to
the bar for another drink, not intending to return. A short time later as
I was at the Jukebox which was next to the back door, the guy comes
up to me and says, "I've been to prison and I know what you are. You're
nothing but a Punk. Come with me!" He grabs my arm and tries to drag
me out the back door. I was able to jerk myself loose of his grip. I went
to my buddy the bouncer and told him what was going on in case this
was to blow up into something more. The guy comes up and starts ranting
about ->-bleeped-<-s and such. My friend told him he had to leave which escalated
into a shouting match, his girlfriend comes up and asks, "Why are you being
so mean to her?", meaning me. He turns around and punches her in the
face, busting her nose and then he comes after me. My friend and a
bunch of other guys are able to get the guy away from us and out
the door. When the police arrived, his girlfriend refused to press
charges. ??? I told them that he had tried to abduct me but
the cops weren't interested in anything I had to say.
So the guy got to go free.
BTW, the guy was a big black buck and his "girlfriend" was latino
and I am a white transsexual. I didn't feel that it was necessary to
mention this in the story because it really doesn't matter.
Thanks for the acknowledgment, sorry to have wasted your time.
i guess the biggest insult was to ignore the topic altogether and continue with a social discusion on effective communication
Can I suggest that the people concerned about racism etc move to a different thread.
Shelina seems to have some problems that need addressed.
Well, back to Shelina.
Sorry honey you do seem to be in an area with a few too many loopys. It's terribly dangerous to get confrontational with these creeps. They have few brain cells and less morality. As Miniar has said totally ignoring people can work. I did do this at one time when some things were throwing insults and threw an object, don't know what it was 'cos I didn't look, it didn't hit me.
I have a colleague who is post op (former male genitalia). Who is nice and brash. She was shouted out by a turkey in a fairly crowded street " What the F**K are You" She crossed over to the turkey; people in the area stopped as she walked up to him and shouted into his face, " I'm a human being, WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU" and just walked back across the street. I know I couldn't do that. :'(
If you can find out why you are not passing from your therapist might be a help. I presume you are in the USA and don't know the laws and civility over there (are there any? OK running Cindy joke :laugh:). But if you are getting assaulted on public transport are there guards etc who you can report behaviour too? Sorry for my ignorance.
I do like Carlleta's comment; she founded Les Boys, a drag show in Sydney. She is very bright and quick witted. When insulted in the street once,- same sort of comment what the F are you? (they don't get original, note before about lack of brains) she replied. "I'm more of a man than you will ever be, and more of a woman than you will ever have."
Bullies tend to be in packs, or if solo drunk. Packs are dangerous because they tend to be groups of cowards that need each other to give them support. Escalation is important to the pack. They don't think, but react to circumstance, as in: she responded to a insult from A, So I'll double the insult, C I'll spit at her as well as an insult. D I'll touch her and spit and insult. It's a cycle that needs to be broken. Ignoring it can break it. If possible move away. Avoid inflamming the stuation no matter how in the right you are.
BTW what age group are you in? Not that it matters to the situation just wondering about the age of the creatures who are assaulting you.
Take care Shelina.
Do get back about how you go.
You can always pm me if you wish.
Cindy
I'm sorry that you must endure so much harassment and abuse.
I get insulted sometimes since deciding to transition. But most of it is catty girl insults. ie "Horsey girl" because I'm tall
Most of the insults I received were pre-transition. I was still presenting as a man but people picked up on my fem. persona quickly. I was spit upon and called a variety of names.
One guy pulled my hair thinking it was a wig. When he realized it was my hair he apologized.
I'm noticing that as I gain confidence and assert myself as a woman, more people are accepting and seem to like me more.
My transition is not physically complete yet. But the mind set was already there for years
Self acceptance seems to be the key to it all.
Take Care and be safe dear :icon_chick:
Quote from: CindyJames on October 02, 2009, 04:40:04 AM
Can I suggest that the people concerned about racism etc move to a different thread.
Shelina seems to have some problems that need addressed.
Well, back to Shelina.
Sorry honey you do seem to be in an area with a few too many loopys. It's terribly dangerous to get confrontational with these creeps. They have few brain cells and less morality. As Miniar has said totally ignoring people can work. I did do this at one time when some things were throwing insults and threw an object, don't know what it was 'cos I didn't look, it didn't hit me.
I have a colleague who is post op (former male genitalia). Who is nice and brash. She was shouted out by a turkey in a fairly crowded street " What the F**K are You" She crossed over to the turkey; people in the area stopped as she walked up to him and shouted into his face, " I'm a human being, WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU" and just walked back across the street. I know I couldn't do that. :'(
If you can find out why you are not passing from your therapist might be a help. I presume you are in the USA and don't know the laws and civility over there (are there any? OK running Cindy joke :laugh:). But if you are getting assaulted on public transport are there guards etc who you can report behaviour too? Sorry for my ignorance.
I do like Carlleta's comment; she founded Les Boys, a drag show in Sydney. She is very bright and quick witted. When insulted in the street once,- same sort of comment what the F are you? (they don't get original, note before about lack of brains) she replied. "I'm more of a man than you will ever be, and more of a woman than you will ever have."
Bullies tend to be in packs, or if solo drunk. Packs are dangerous because they tend to be groups of cowards that need each other to give them support. Escalation is important to the pack. They don't think, but react to circumstance, as in: she responded to a insult from A, So I'll double the insult, C I'll spit at her as well as an insult. D I'll touch her and spit and insult. It's a cycle that needs to be broken. Ignoring it can break it. If possible move away. Avoid inflamming the stuation no matter how in the right you are.
BTW what age group are you in? Not that it matters to the situation just wondering about the age of the creatures who are assaulting you.
Take care Shelina.
Do get back about how you go.
You can always pm me if you wish.
Cindy
Thanks a lot Cindy. Well I am not in USA but of Asian/Arab mixed origin. I'm in my mid-twenties and I was assaulted by teenagers of highschool. I would have retaliated if they became physical but the other age groups as men same age or above than me who seem to be stronger, I don't dare confront, they'll smash your face off.
Post Merge: October 02, 2009, 05:36:12 AM
Quote from: Virginia Marie on October 02, 2009, 04:43:41 AM
I was spit upon and called a variety of names.
One guy pulled my hair thinking it was a wig.
OMG! :o This is terrible, I thought I was the only one to have this experience. I sympathise with you sister. :embarrassed:
Hi Hon,
Protect yourself.
Any chance honey of what country and can you name (safely) the prevailing religion. What are the "ethics" of the country 'has a problem with TG? Does the country have a problem with gay or lesbian people?
Love, Hugs and kisses
Cindy
Sleep well you have friends
So sorry you had to go through that. Peeps can be idiots sometimes. I had to put up with that before too, mainly with drunkards in clubs. Can I say 'drunkards' or will it offend some of you? ::), Anyway my friends always kept the drunkards away & I felt safe going out with them. Nobody takes a second look at me now. Nobody can confuse me for a bloke in a dress anymore. I've changed alot physically. You'll get there too. :)
What's up with the term "Macaques"? That's a type of monkey, you mean you got on a bus with a bunch of monkeys in it? Bring bananas next time!
I'm assuming it's the local term where you are for something like bully-boys, etc. Where I'm from they're called mokes, and often the sign in the front of the bus that says "NO SMOKING" has been altered to say "NO MOKING" lol.
I highly recommend you move also. Because: bullies are going to bully whoever's handy, whoever's nearby.
Let's see.... insulting things..... been whistled at while hugging/kissing a girl on the street, the same street where hetero couples do that all the time, had people say "Are you a girl or a dude". and the classic "Are you a he-she, a she-he, or a she-she?" thing which kinda makes me laugh.
I grew up where being white or at least mostly white like I am, makes you a target. I understand having to look down and just keep on shufflin' down the street because yeah, you fight back against one, you end up with many on you, and you can end up with the whole friggin' neighborhood against you. My big dream was to get out of there and I did. So, I understand what you are up against.
As I become more manly, I'm waiting for the "->-bleeped-<-!" comments, I'm starting to pass more and I'm sure I'm gonna impress most as being a ->-bleeped-<-gy guy lol. I get the most interesting looks in arts'n'crafts stores!
One thing that helps me is, I work out and I'm willing to fight if it comes to that. That, and street sense, has kept me out of a lot of trouble.
If people don't want to talk about racism, all they have to do is stop making racist comments. Or sarcastic comments that minimize racism. Racism is the topic whenever it comes up, and moreover it entails precisely the same kind of dehumanization that we trans folk often experience. Some of the comments here use exactly the same arguments that people use to avoid being called out on anti-trans comments.
See Derailing For Dummies (http://www.derailingfordummies.com/), specifically the section on, "Don't You Have More Important Issues To Think About (http://www.derailingfordummies.com/#moreimportantly)" (though several others apply).
I think that Shelina has some good advice here. I would add that if you are having nasty interactions, try to stay in groups when you go out. Women alone in public are often targets of harassment, and that's a big part of the reason women tend to go out in groups. It's all the more important when you're trans. Simply put, women learn to avoid confrontations with hostile men, and if you're trans, it's a harder learning curve. Other strategies are to blend in as much as you can in terms of dress, the places you go, not lingering in dangerous places, etc.
As for me, I haven't had many nasty situations, mostly because I'm clueless enough about people's reaction to me that I never react, so things never escalate, if they even begin in the first place.
I believe "macaque" is from the 2006 senatorial election campaign in Virginia, and incumbent Republican George Allen's use of "macaca" to describe an aide of his opponent. See Wikipedia's Macaca (slur) article (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macaca_(slur)).
from my experience it get better the more you advance in transition. most of the abuses i did take was pre-transition when i still did not take any step toward transition or even toward accepting my self.
in a club a girl once was confused once about my gender and whether i am mtf or ftm. of course she asked very politely about my gender and even apologized in advance for asking the question, then she looked me in the eyes and said: i want you to promise me that you will ignore people that hate you and you will not allowed them to stop your transition.
Coming to insults, i was called every word in the dictionary. in two cases the insult included the word 'death'.
i was even twice in a club overpowered by a bigger and stronger man that was spooning me and touching me in an inappropriate way, at the end the security did ask him to leave the club, on that night i could not stop crying for hours.
But will all of this make me stop transitioning or change my plans? no i did go past that point, and if i don't go forward it means i suffered and did go through hell for nothing.
It happened in one of my trips to the States. My friend invited me to spend two weeks with her in Colorado. We entered a convenience store & this bloke smiled at us & nodded his head. He was buying cigarettes & a six pack.. I went to the candy rack. Leni my friend stayed at front. She wanted to know where the ATM was & suddently I hear all this screaming & shouting. nasty words like "->-bleeped-<-got" "c-ck sucker" & stuff like that.
I dunno how the bloke that was buying the beer had clocked Leni my friend.. Maybe because she's tall or something about her voice. Thing is that the bloke went mad, started cussing horrible insults to my friend Leni. I don't know how people can say such bad words. He had the filthy dirty mouth of a truck driver. We left the store. drove away & he stayed at the door of the convenience store spewing filth thru his dirty mouth.
That was my bad experience in the US. We could've been hurt by this bloke if we weren't careful. But we shouldn't have gone to the convenience store so late at night either.
EDIT: Thought about it, changed my mind, I don't want to contribute any more to the derailing of the thread.
Pretend this post doesn't exist. ;D
Way to stay classy.
Quote from: Bellaon7 on October 02, 2009, 04:30:40 PM
To the person thoughtlessly throwing around the term "drunkard"; the correct term is CHEMICALY INCONVEINIENCED! I know this because I read it on another thread, & I've had sex w/a Black guy...actually he was more brown like a Snicker's bar.
Post Merge: October 02, 2009, 04:31:26 PM
Okay, that's enough.
Let's please remember that political correctness aside, we have members of all races, ethnicities, and backgrounds here. Please be sensitive to that. If you wouldn't say it to a member of that group's face, please don't say it here.
Let's move beyond this issue and return to the OP please. Thanks.
Quote from: Nero on October 02, 2009, 05:03:40 PM
Okay, that's enough.
Let's please remember that political correctness aside, we have members of all races, ethnicities, and backgrounds here. Please be sensitive to that. If you wouldn't say it to a member of that group's face, please don't say it here.
Let's move beyond this issue and return to the OP please. Thanks.
Not a problem!!!
Ha one time I went to this gay bar, mostly guys but some gals went there too, I was wearing all my leather motorcycle stuff and apparently looked like a handsome young dude because another guy dragged me onto the dance floor saying "I want to dance with you" lol - I said "Well, I don't wanna dance with you!" and pulled away and back to my friends lol.
Yes gals tend to go places together. Going around alone looking female can be a problem. I tend to forget about that because at first glance I look male (like a teenager maybe) and have always gone all kinds of places by myself. Looking obviously female and alone will get you all kinds of attention you never got as a guy.
Great, I didn't know the KKK had a TS branch, guess ya'll be wearing them pink sheets. Really, most TS who get fired don't get the axe for being TS, they get it because they are more trouble then they are worth.*
*(see above)
Quote from: tekla on October 02, 2009, 05:21:30 PM
Great, I didn't know the KKK had a TS branch, guess ya'll be wearing them pink sheets. Really, most TS who get fired don't get the axe for being TS, they get it because they are more trouble then they are worth.*
*(see above)
I'm sorry tekla, I was trying to make a point not offend anyone, Isabella
Post Merge: October 02, 2009, 09:56:42 PM
I'll attempt to get a meaningful & relevent thread back on track(please go back & read the original post). We can spend night & day tying ourselves in knots over the proper use of adjectives. If we do that or not, it does nothing to change the kind violence of ts/tg people face. When a memeber of the ts/tg community is murdered, it tends not to be a simple(of course there's no such thing) act of killing, but an act motivated by extreme hatred. In other words, instead of blows, gunshots, or what not, the purpatraitor doesn't stop at what it takes to kill, but rather continues to mutilate, ie, a true act of hatred. Don't take my word for this, the information is easily accessable to all.
Post Merge: October 02, 2009, 07:57:12 PM
I'll attempt to get a meaningful & relevent thread back on track(please go back & read the original post). We can spend night & day tying ourselves in knots over the proper use of adjectives. If we do that or not, it does nothing to change the kind violence of ts/tg people face. When a memeber of the ts/tg community is murdered, it tends not to be a simple(of course there's no such thing) act of killing, but an act motivated by extreme hatred. In other words, instead of blows, gunshots, or what not, the purpatraitor doesn't stop at what it takes to kill, but rather continues to mutilate, ie, a true act of hatred. Don't take my word for this, the information is easily accessable to all.
Why bother to work against people who are already working against themselves?
Quote from: tekla on October 02, 2009, 09:49:53 PM
Why bother to work against people who are already working against themselves?
Why is there any need for any of us to turn on another? some of us like myself are alcoholics, some of us are drug addicts, some of us are prostitutes, & some us are just plain old broken. Who umong is unwelcome?
Post Merge: October 02, 2009, 10:16:10 PM
Quote from: tekla on October 02, 2009, 09:49:53 PM
Why bother to work against people who are already working against themselves?
Why is there any need for any of us to turn on another? some of us like myself are alcoholics, some of us are drug addicts, some of us are prostitutes, & some us are just plain old broken. Who umong is unwelcome?
Hang around here long enough and you'll met them. They don't think they are Trans, but they show up to make sure the rest of us don't think so either.
Last Friday night it's another type of common insult I endure.
You know what hurts me the most? When a bunch of handsome guys are coming from far and initially you hear 'WOW! Look at that beautiful bombshell chick' then when they get closer and realize what you are they say 'EWWW, YUCKS! It's just a disgusting ->-bleeped-<-got'. From far I'm a beautiful girl and from close I'm disgusting, don't you see these stinking extremist straights just have a prejudice against us in their stinking idiot minds. IF EVER I SUCCEED TRANSITIONING, I'M GONNA SLAM DOWN ALL EXTREMIST STRAIGHT MEN 1 BY 1 AND ALL THOSE WHO MADE ME SUFFER. I'LL PROVOKE THEM, MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME THEN I'LL DOWNTREAD THEM ALL LIKE A SIMPLE INSECT! DAMN ->-bleeped-<-!!! >:(
Revenge is not the best reason to do things.
Revenge is a dish best left in the refrigerator. >:-)
Quote from: Shelina on October 03, 2009, 12:54:34 AM
From far I'm a beautiful girl and from close I'm disgusting
on the bright side, that's progress, right? It's better than being disgusting from any angle isn't it?
Quote from: Becca on October 03, 2009, 10:30:31 AM
on the bright side, that's progress, right? It's better than being disgusting from any angle isn't it?
Becca, I know very well I don't look disgusting from close and look beautiful as many genuine people told me, but the problem is that I FACIALLY DON'T PASS. You know there are trannsexuals who are very beautiful BUT THEY DON'T PASS but there are other transsexuals who pass 100% but are ordinary looking. You see what I mean. WHAT MAKES ME LOOK DISGUSTING TO THESE STINKING EXTREMIST STRAIGHT GUYS IS JUST THE FACT OF NOT BEING A GENETIC FEMALE WHEN THEY KNOW VERY WELL DEEP IN THEIR STINKING MIND INSIDE I AM GOOD-LOOKING.
IT'S REALLY TERRIBLE HOW THESE EXTREMIST STRAIGHTS PREFER GOING WITH AN UGLY/ORDINARY LOOKING GENETIC FEMALE THAN WITH A BOMBSHELL-LOOKING ->-bleeped-<-.
I know what you mean dear, it's bittersweet. This anger isn't healthy though, and if you keep putting this out your'e going to attract more of it to yourself. I know it hurts, really deeply, but this reaction is only going to make it worse.
Quote from: Shelina on October 03, 2009, 10:41:09 AMIT'S REALLY TERRIBLE HOW THESE EXTREMIST STRAIGHTS PREFER GOING WITH AN UGLY/ORDINARY LOOKING GENETIC FEMALE THAN WITH A BOMBSHELL-LOOKING ->-bleeped-<-.
It's because dear old Dad didn't marry a transsexual.
IT'S REALLY TERRIBLE HOW THESE EXTREMIST STRAIGHTS PREFER GOING WITH AN UGLY/ORDINARY LOOKING GENETIC FEMALE THAN WITH A BOMBSHELL-LOOKING ->-bleeped-<-.
Guys liking girls who have girl parts is hardly extreme - in fact, its pretty much ordinary.
wow very shocking to read this thread...
i suppose anything worse than an insult is physical threat, which i'll advice doing what all girls do -- don't go to shady/unsafe places or walk down dark alleys alone, carry a pepper spray if your town has got poor security and a pack of condoms in case there's no way out...other than that don't take verbal insults to heart and you may even fire back at them if you think it's safe to do so :)
my worst experience has been several years ago when i had to visit the men's toilet in an office building...i was dressed in male office wear and kept my head down, but the noosy cleaner couldn't quit stareing at me and even asked me in the face whether i am a girl, and when i denied he got closer to me and started making rude remarks about me...and i almost ran out of there. thank god there weren't too many people there at that time but it sure was embarassing as hell...
:o
Quote from: milktea on December 27, 2009, 10:41:16 AM
wow very shocking to read this thread...
i suppose anything worse than an insult is physical threat, which i'll advice doing what all girls do -- don't go to shady/unsafe places or walk down dark alleys alone, carry a pepper spray if your town has got poor security and a pack of condoms in case there's no way out...other than that don't take verbal insults to heart and you may even fire back at them if you think it's safe to do so :)
I am just wondering how such insulting comments can be made in public even in a civilized society. In my country, I have never faced such problem.
Some people here sometimes read me, asking like "are you a woman or a man?". Usually I do not reply. Sometimes they ask the same question to my friends beside me. Even they read me, they do not dare to speak to me. Only kids in my apartment ask and ask again.
Yes. The two most insulting cases for me happened coincidentally in the U.S., but the two are opposite in terms of passing.
1. I was in a line at a pharmacy store. The female cashier loudly called me 'Sir' while I wore high heel boots. There were so many people behind me. I did not respond anyway. Just endured it. Fortunately, people did not react unusually. (I wore the same boots today with my family and relatives ;D)
2. I was virtually raped by a drunken man in public parking lot of a shopping mall. I detailed it once here in other board. Anyway, I was so lucky that he just ran away after clearly realizing I am a man (he tried to detach my genitals as if they were a kind of accessories). Two weeks later, I heard that the police was investigating a rape case there, and I knew that the suspect was the same man, but I could not contact the police, fearing I had to reveal my identity.
Both cases can happen in my country, but fortunately the chance is extremly low. For case 1, we prefer calling a person by gender-neutral pronouns. For 2, even in mid-night I can walk in hot pants and heels without any harassement. I just enjoy attention of both men and women ;D
Barbie~~
I wouldn't get too worked up over it, Milktea, this is not the usual experience.
The original poster ended up using all our warnings and cautions as a reverse direction manual; last we heard from her she had quit her job to go be a hooker and it was going great until the other hookers got jealous or somethingorother. She was on a pretty self destructive path and dare I say brought a lot of these things on herself.
I'd love to hear how you're doing now Shelina, if you're out there lurking somewhere.
I guess I'm a bit late getting to this thread but here it goes. I'm not full time yet so I don't run into a ton of insults but I have transitioned in some ways that when I am presenting as male, I still come off as androgynous. This is mainly due to the long feminine-styled hair and my hot pink nail polish. Before I begin my brief story, I will say that it is indeed NOT racist to mention someone's race in a story unless it is actually used in a slanderous manner. Anybody who has taken the trouble to pick up a BOOK for once in their life understands that clear descriptions are required to assist the reader in developing a quality mental picture of the story at hand. The less description leaves more to the imagination but every author has to include at least some detail to make it a worthwhile read. Some descriptions can be so detailed as to include even the smell in the room. I don't think that is necessary in an internet post but mentioning the person's race so that readers can visualize the scene is indeed relevant. Anyone who can't handle it I personally think should stop being so sensitive.
So here is my story: I'm entering a Fry's grocery store in a rough neighborhood in Phoenix, AZ (U.S.). I am presenting somewhat androgynous but clearly male (my birth gender). I am merely wearing a collar shirt and jeans that I had on at work that day but I also had a holstered and visible pistol on my belt which is legal and generally accepted in Arizona. Oh, by the way I'm white. My hair is long and feminine and I have pink glittery nail polish on my hands.
So I'm in line at the checkout when a Mexican man with his Mexican girlfriend get in line behind me. The man was poorly dressed wearing a tank-top shirt and had gang-style tattoos all over his arms, neck, and legs. The man immediately says real loud, "WTF" and of course I didn't turn around. He stood so close to me as if he was trying to get a closer look at the gun. I used standard retention techniques and changed my angle putting it clearly out of his reach. It must have been at this point he noticed the nail polish. The whole time in line he goes on and on saying "He's crazy...look at that...look at his hands...WTF" and loud enough that it was obvious. He came across as a macho-man prison type who didn't like the fact that I was armed but mostly disturbed by the feminine appearance. I then later heard the words "->-bleeped-<-got" mumbled around. While the guy never directly insulted me, it was disturbing because he kept staring in a threatening manner almost like he wanted to start something. Some of these characters aren't always deterred by a gun either especially if they are on drugs.
What this told me is that if I had had the gun concealed he would have still flipped out over the nail polish but would have probably directly confronted me or actually made threats but the gun kept him enough at bay to keep it between him and his girlfriend. If I had the gun only but no nail polish, he probably would have been the "tough guy" and asked me what caliber, etc. because he would have seen me more as a man.
People can debate all they want how I (or anyone) should dress, etc. in a public place including what they carry, if they carry, and how they carry depending on their state's laws. I simply value my freedom too much to tolerate people who do not belong in my business. People may not like who I am and they may not like the fact that I can defend myself. That is their problem. I do not apologize for either but I will avoid confrontations as much as possible (i.e. I could have asked him what his problem was but didn't) but at the same time will confront people when required.
What I find most sad about all of the experiences here including the OP's (Shelina), is that these are classic cases of people's failure to mind their own business. Anybody who is up in someone's business where they don't belong is someone who is worthy of contempt. Normal people live busy meaningful lives and simply don't have time for other people who aren't in their lives. Normal people couldn't care less about some stranger on a bus, in a store, or walking down a street unless they are blocking your way. People who would hail insults at people they don't even know are nothing but trash. Worse, those who would make threats or even commit violence are outright criminal.
My advice for others here is to avoid confrontations when possible because you don't know who you are dealing with. Examples are ignoring stares, tuning out comments that you overhear, and not overreacting to a direct insult. Sometimes, however, confrontations are required. If a person is up in your face, screaming at you, or doing anything that is so obnoxious that you absolutely have to deal with them, do so as cautiously as possible and be legal about it. If a person is idiotic enough to insult you they are likely to be crazy enough to back it up with violence. This is why I carry a variety of weapons where allowed by law. This is up to the individual to decide but remember your life is worth everything to you. If someone goes outright bananas you have a right to defend yourself but I wouldn't go overboard and know what the laws are. My state is really strong about these things. Had the idiot have lunged for the gun to the point of violently fighting for it, I would have simply blown his brains out. Had he have gotten it away from me, I had a backup knife and needless to say there would have been a lot of mopping required in store isle #9.
There is a lot of trash in this world. Try to stay away from it but understand that you are who you are and you have no one to explain it to or apologize over it and nobody has the right to take it away from you. PERIOD.
Actually, what it says is three things.
One, he ain't all afraid of your gun - drugs or no drugs.
Two, as I often try to point out, having a gun often leads people to make choices that are not in their best interest. The alley that is not safe for you to stroll down without a gun, is no safer with a gun.
Three, I had a backup knife and needless to say there would have been a lot of mopping required in store isle #9 - I would imagine mostly you. I've never seen a gringo that can handle a knife in a fight like a homeboy can.
After all the horrendous experiences and comments I've read in this thread I'm starting to think I'm very lucky indeed as I've not had any problems relating to gender or appearance. I don't ever think I'm particularly successful or attractive but I'm doing something right even though I don't know what it is. But I have had comments from my females friends who say I look quite natural.
It's odd because the insults change from each stage of transition. Jennifer Boylan commented how after a few months people started to look at her slightly strangely, a few months further down the line, people found her appearance very strange indeed, until finally she had reached the stage of transition where she was no longer getting looked at all. I guess it's because she was presenting male the majority of this time, but nonetheless i'm sure many of us have been or are in the in-between phase.
I've gotten the 'What is that?' comment a few times, mostly from people who are drunk, but to be honest a stare, a shake of the head, smirk or a disapproving look can say just as much. As Shelina was saying i think people often mistake me for something else from far away and as they come nearer they usually realise the mistake they made. I'm not actually presenting as a woman at the moment, in fact i on occasion let some facial hair grow out and refrain from plucking to try avoid gender confusion when presenting as a male and yet i think people have started to see me regardless of my clothing choices as a person in transition. My thinking is, and this is one of the things that is holding me back going full time outside of work, is regardless of how people perceive me, as long as i am wearing clothing that is assigned to my birth gender, deny myself make-up and accessories, other than longer hair there is always that deniability. I'm afraid that once i start presenting in women's clothing, that if i do get clocked, the situation will be a whole lot worse than the stares at the moment. Mind you i still have been called ->-bleeped-<-got, boy girl and gay boy, so i guess there really isn't any middle ground.
I live in Midtown, Atlanta.
For those not familiar with the area, it's a part of town that's heavily populated with gay males. It's to Atlanta what The Castro is to San Fran, literally.
Of course I'm not a gay male, but the area is also pretty much very trans-friendly. The prominently gay men in the area are generally friendly to any trans or gender bending people in general. The straight people who do live or work in the area pretty much know to be LGBT tolerant. My ex works in retail in the heart of Midtown and said she'll have several non-passable trans or x-dressers ( she can't always tell the difference ) come into her store daily.
The only really overtly rude thing I've had said was some young drunken guy. Walked by me on his way out with "nice tits....Duuuuuuude". I didn't even take it personal. He just struck me as a drunk douchebag who was probably prone to run his mouth to anyone, for any reason.
I was in florida and had to go chung-lee on someones ass. I was shopping for a cute thank you for being a great friend and a hope your feeling better card, for my friend Sour skiddels after her SRS. Someone kept heckling me and making tons of rude comments, So I gave them the bird and blew them a kiss. They came over and punched me square in the face. omg did that end bad for the both of us. All I remenber was smiling, asking if it was my turn to return the favor. and grabbed their head and bounced it off my knee.
Quote from: Teela Renee on August 27, 2013, 12:32:00 AM
I was in florida and had to go chung-lee on someones ass. I was shopping for a cute thank you for being a great friend and a hope your feeling better card, for my friend Sour skiddels after her SRS. Someone kept heckling me and making tons of rude comments, So I gave them the bird and blew them a kiss. They came over and punched me square in the face. omg did that end bad for the both of us. All I remenber was smiling, asking if it was my turn to return the favor. and grabbed their head and bounced it off my knee.
Good Job!
barbie~~
The usual ->-bleeped-<-gott,chick with a dick,he she,shim,WTF etc.I was walking down the street minding my own business when an unwashed scrote with bad teeth and worse home done tattoos asked me if I was a ->-bleeped-<-gott.Noticing his Wayne Rooney Manchester United shirt I asked if he was as I thought screaming at men in shorts was really gay.He took a swing at me,I side stepped it and caught him full in the Adam's apple with the gap between my thumb and first finger using all my force.He went down like a sniper got him,he didn't get up
Through childhood and adolescence I was often referred to as "it" and that hurt!
I have posted this before.
I was walking through a large IKEA store and a couple were walking towards me. She said, loudly, that's a man!!
I stopped them and said . 'I was born with a gender defect that is being corrected; you are fat and ugly, what's your excuse?'
I still feel OK about it :laugh:
Waiting at a bus stop, minding my own business, a couple of girls about my age walk past. One of them's looking at me, then she starts whispering to the other. I generally get bad vibes whenever I see girls whispering like that, Mean Girls vibes all over the place. Out of nowhere the girl she's whispering to bursts out laughing and literally shouts to her friend "OH MY GOD, IT'S A GIRL HAH YOU'RE SO GROSS. I'M NEVER LETTING YOU LIVE THIS DOWN" Then had the most awkward bus ride with the other people waiting at the stop staring at me the whole ride.
The worst part I had was when I got where I was going (dropping off my groceries for my Nan) and I told her what happened and why I was in a sour mood, the response I got was "Aren't you glad she thought you were a boy at first, that's what you want right" ::) I won't hold it against her because she's seventy, but it was still the cherry on top of a great day.
I've had dyke shouted at me in the past. But that more just amuses me than anything. Considering both times that happened I was actually identifying as that and it seemed like such a non-insult. It was made even more hilarious because the second time it happened I with my best friend and he shouted back without missing a beat "STRAIGHT"
Cindy if this were FB, I'd have run out of "likes". :) I think our sisters have it a lot worse than us guys. Some people are not entirely nice but the worse thing anyone called me was a "dyke".
--Jay
That happened to me a lot when I was a bus driver.
Chav "You're an effing dyke"
Me "You're an effing pedestrian" as I closed the doors and drove off
Quote from: big kim on August 28, 2013, 03:39:46 PM
That happened to me a lot when I was a bus driver.
Chav "You're an effing dyke"
Me "You're an effing pedestrian" as I closed the doors and drove off
From my observations bus drivers deal with a lot of BS, I honestly don't know how they don't end up getting the rap of postal workers.
I use to dread riding the bus when I lived in Calif. There always seemed to be at least one and often a few jerks that would be bothering other folks
What would really grind my gears is that they would often start bothering elderly folks and the mentally challenged who seemed to be regular riders, at least I'd often see the same folks whenever I would ride
Anyway, I was much younger and stronger then so I wouldn't say much but I'd stare the trouble makers down and intimidate the stuff out of them
They wouldn't want to mess with me much back in the day >:-)
On my wedding day my husband and I were on our way to have a nice romantic dinner at a nice restaurant a group of teenage girls read me and they all pointed at me and yelled "That's a man! That's a man! Gross!!! Disgusting!!!" while laughing gleefully while making sure every other person on the street didn't miss out on the freak show act. The dinner was off and I went home and cried the rest of the night.
Whenever I think of this incident I have these flashing images in my head of me murdering them all with my bare hands.
Quote from: MariaMx on September 04, 2013, 08:12:05 AM
On my wedding day my husband and I were on our way to have a nice romantic dinner at a nice restaurant a group of teenage girls read me and they all pointed at me and yelled "That's a man! That's a man! Gross!!! Disgusting!!!" while laughing gleefully while making sure every other person on the street didn't miss out on the freak show act. The dinner was off and I went home and cried the rest of the night.
Whenever I think of this incident I have these flashing images in my head of me murdering them all with my bare hands.
There are always reckless and mindless people at any place.
In my case, I am tired of glares of men, especially aged ones. I feel it very rude. Sometimes I asked why they gaze at me, but it was meaningless. New people stare at me next day at another place. I gave up educating them, and just accept as my daily life.
Barbie~~
At my place of employment a couple of customers began referring to me as man and homey and told me to stay away from them because they weren't "fruits" and they suggested that I would experience physical harm unless I stayed away from them. Of course I was at work and it was my job to attend to customers. Some of my coworkers were laughing at me and talking about me. When I talked to management about the girls telling customers I was really just a man in a dress he took the main offender into his office and then as soon as she was let out she smiled and told me that all he did was tell her to give me a hug which she did as she mocked me.
That's messed up stuff, your direct mgr. sounds like a puppet, is there a higher level of management that you can talk to?
Quote from: Kate G on September 06, 2013, 07:18:50 PM
At my place of employment a couple of customers began referring to me as man and homey and told me to stay away from them because they weren't "fruits" and they suggested that I would experience physical harm unless I stayed away from them. Of course I was at work and it was my job to attend to customers. Some of my coworkers were laughing at me and talking about me. When I talked to management about the girls telling customers I was really just a man in a dress he took the main offender into his office and then as soon as she was let out she smiled and told me that all he did was tell her to give me a hug which she did as she mocked me.
Are you in a Union? See a Union rep ASAP
Quote from: broken. on September 07, 2013, 02:15:57 AM
When I was like 16 and in all kinds of closets, some stoner guys honked at me (walking to the store) and yelled ->-bleeped-<-got from their car as they drove by...
If they had came back, then they would be certainly a kind of ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-. Sometimes extreme hate and extreme love are interchangeable.
barbie~~
Quote from: big kim on September 07, 2013, 02:06:26 AM
Are you in a Union? See a Union rep ASAP
Union? We don't even have jobs in the USA anymore let alone Unions.
The sad thing about getting ridiculed in public is (in my experiences) it's always people in groups. In the past I had my issues but thankfully they've stopped...hope I'm not jinxing myself. These few stick in my mind:
-I used to live in Northern New Jersey in 2000 and 2001. At the time the resources really weren't out there and yes, I was binding with ace bandages (big no no). Well, one night I went out to a pizzeria with my ex in Manhattan. I had a binding injury so just decided to wear a sport's bra figuring people would just read me as a butch lesbian. I could deal with that. Well, in order to get to the restaurant part of the establishment you had to walk through the bar. We ate, everything was fine, and at the end of the meal my ex wanted to go outside to smoke. I stayed inside to pay the bill. As I was walking past the bar to exit a loud guy with two females yelled "HEY!", naturally I turned around and he said "What are you? You look like a dude with tits". At that the crowded bar erupted in laughter. I just dropped my head and left quickly.
-Around 5 or 6 years ago I was at a buffet restaurant with my gf. I kept noticing a table of 20-somethings staring at me. I did my best to ignore them and enjoy my meal. We were close to finishing and my gf went to get her dessert. I rarely eat sweets so I just sat there finishing my tea when two guys and a girl from the other table walked up. The girl asked me, "Are you a boy or a girl?". I did what I've always been naturally good at, I ignored her. She took a step forward at me and said it louder, "I asked you if you're a boy or a girl". I was feeling a bit intimidated at that point because she was getting closer so I slid my hand over to the steak knife on my napkin still refusing to give her the satisfaction of an answer or even acknowledging her existence. I'm assuming one of the guys seen my hand slide to the knife because he came up, grabbed her by the arm, and said "come on...lets go". They left and while I was a little shaken I was proud that I didn't feel the need to satisfy her curiosity.
-The last one that sticks with me is the roughest and happened repeatedly for a few years. The last time was in 2010. I cooked third shift at a 24 hour diner (geez, looks like I need to stay out of eateries, lol) and on Friday/Saturday nights we had a bar rush between 2 and 3 in the morning without fail. There was always a huge group of College age kids that came in and without fail two of the guys would harass me. It started one night because a waitress called out so I had to wait tables. At the time I passed for a really young guy but my voice gave me away. One of the guys stood up, put his arm around me, and asked if I knew what a ->-bleeped-<- was. I just said no and told him to sit down if he wanted to be served. He then lifted his shirt and asked if I wanted to touch him while grabbing my hand to put it on his chest. I said a few choice words and informed him if he didn't stop I would be happy to call the police who could administer a breathalyzer test on him. He said a few words and went to the bathroom. His gf was sitting at the booth and mouthed "I'm sorry" so I told her it wasn't her fault. She still insisted that I take a couple 20 dollar bills she slid to me. She never came back in with him but the guy came back every weekend with one of his friends. They always had something nasty to say and threatened me at one point when I took out the trash. I never retaliated because I thought it would escalate. I would put my head up high and continue doing my job. Little did they know I started carrying a pocket knife on me but I am thankful I never had a reason to use it.
Well, there are the three that stick out in my memory. I have had little random things here and there. Usually it's when I go to the town I grew up in and run into people from High School. To them I'm just "whatever" basically...or I have been known to ask them what they're going to do about it...oh nothing? Then shut it.
Quote from: Shelina on October 01, 2009, 10:21:40 AM
Sisters, today I'm VERY down. I have been heavily insulted in public. I entered a bus with a bunch of macaques sitting completely behind hurling heavy insults to me like 'What's this 'thing' ?. When we all got down at the final bus station, one of the guys spitted making me understand I was a disgusting being (fortunately not on me, I would have kicked with my high heels).
In the past:
1. (Beginning 2009/ Mid 2004) 2 times people tried to snatch my wig off my head in the bus (I almost slammed the boy with my umbrella and for the 1st time I verbally retaliated in public but other time I could not do much, they were very strong men).
2. (2002) In night club people said 'What's this creature?'.
3. The most common I get almost everyday is a derogatory word used for homosexuals equivalent to the english word '->-bleeped-<-got'.
4. At times people can kill even with just a look, their very negative looks annoy me.
5. What infuriated me the most is the ridicule mockery, laughing like hell on your face insignuating you're a buffoon/clown in the society, I wanna slap them in their faces specially when it's girls laughing at me.
6. (2002) I was thrown an emptu bottle of Coke 0.5, fortunately I managed to dodge.
No wonder how many sisters in the past have committed suicde. As I am now 'official' and full-time, I'm having really big problem to confront this harsh and cruel world.
WHAT'S THE BIGGEST INSULT YOU FACED IN PUBLIC AND HOW YOU DEAL WITH THEM? Me, the only thing I can do is ignore them but it really hurts at the utmost degree inside and I really don't know what to do anymore. :embarrassed:
You get used to it hon, I know it hurts, and people can say they're just words, but they don't know until it happens to them. Honestly though, living the life that we live, we gotta learn to have a thick skin and stand up for ourselves. I used to cry everyday because how people looked at me, how they made fun of me,and yeah it hurts, one time it got bad enough that I thought of just offing myself, but it wasn't right for me to think that way. Now I have a boss bitch mentality when I see people look at me, I just give them a look like "problem bitch?", because they like to think they're better than us, but they aren't. Remember, as Jinx Monsoon says "Water off a ducks back".
P.S. It's ok to cry about it if you need to, don't bottle up your feelings, like ever
This weekend!
I took my wife, who is an invalid, in a wheelchair and very disabled, down to the beach front. I had made a flask of tea, I got her comfy and we were having a drink watching people walk past. A lady with a little dog stopped and started to talk and then she said.
"Oh it's so nice to see a daughter looking after her Mum" Well!! I'm her husband!!!
Heeee Heee :laugh:
My wife did have a laugh about it later, and has criticized her daughter unmercifully since. I did say I still suffer psychological harm for not having short hems on my school uniform.
Oh Well, now back to insults :laugh:
Cindy
My so called friend who I thought understood me called me a wanna be boy and a gay ass bitch, Bcause I told she's not agood friend, Because she is to self centered
The worst I've gotten so far and its not really that bad was a kid called me a whatever because he didn't have his id on him and I wouldn't sell him cigs. My coworker at the time had a few words with him outside and he later apologized. I've been lucky, I guess. Pretty much everyone treats me with respect regardless of their feelings about the whole trans thing.
The worst that i got was when i was in a park and got attacked. They called me a freak and a child molester. Spitting on me and kicking me.. Was pretty bad, hid in the house for 3 days after that. came to realize that i had to be strong and get back what they took. So out i went and has been pretty good so far. The only other thing anyone has said to me was they refused to call me by Alexis because that wasn't my REAL name... I just brushed them off as ignorant and rude..
A bible thumper took the thumping literally at a busy intersection outside a 7 eleven in my area. They screamed loudly that I was going to hell and other biblical nonsense. Then proceeded to try and beat some sense into me with a bible. All the while asking what I was going to do. "Real men don't hit girls!" And then countering that with, "Look at the pathetic she/he getting beat by a girl!" Kinda put me in a tough spot! The first hit poked my eye a little so I was disoriented and took a sec to find my bearings to run away.
It happened again too, this time causing a cut that required stitches at my eyebrow, and while my friend restrained her as we waited for police (on a side street with no people around) I went up to her and threw a very fast strike to her head stopping just short and told her, "If you ever pull this crap again, I'm a feminist who wants equality for all, so I'm not going to care what gender you happen to identify as. I'm making a complaint to the police having obviously NOT touched you after 2 physical attacks where I have notable injuries. You don't get a 3rd pass. 3rd time I will break your bones if you try to physically harm me!"
Thankfully it did stop. Hate that I had to resort to threats of violence to stop her but I needed to know it was safe to walk around my area and not worry about some pathetic excuse for a human being potentially waiting with her bible, ready to lash out. What a great Christian, eh?
To be honest the humiliation in my area was worse than the physical attack though. I was scared to go to that 7 eleven for quite a while, worrying I'd be recognised as the "she/he" attacked outside :-/.