Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Calistine on October 02, 2009, 04:59:14 PM

Title: nightmares
Post by: Calistine on October 02, 2009, 04:59:14 PM
Its a nice day
I start it my way
I have some money for a change
And I go to get ice cream
As I walk to the stand with a smile in my eyes
Oh no..not again

I look down and see
I am not wearing a shirt anymore
And I look at my breasts in horror
But continue walking to stand
Covering my breasts and hoping noone sees
Why does this keep happening to me?

I walk in shame
Next I know
Im sitting on the sidewalk
And my shirt is back on
I say to myself
Okay, so this is obviously a dream
But it had for a while seemed
That I knew why this was happening
And these dreams stopped
I thought I could handle these lumps, these tumors
But it seems
They keep haunting my dreams
I don't care when, I don't care how its done
I just want them gone.


Thats my emotional poems. I know Im not the only ftm having these nightmares.
Title: Re: nightmares
Post by: Nick Aiden on October 02, 2009, 07:02:34 PM
These happen to me often. The "everyone in the WHOLE WORLD sees that I have breasts! Great..." dream. And my mom thinks being trans is something I "decided". Yes cause I like nightmares
Title: Re: nightmares
Post by: noxdraconis on October 02, 2009, 08:35:09 PM
Quote from: Kyle :3 on October 02, 2009, 04:59:14 PM
Thats my emotional poems. I know Im not the only ftm having these nightmares.

Yes, I get them too.  My most vivid nightmares are of somehow having my shirt disappear, causing me to run and hide from people so that they cannot see my moobs as I search in vain for a shirt.  I have such a hard time going back to sleep after one of those.
Title: Re: nightmares
Post by: Radar on October 02, 2009, 08:36:08 PM
I've had those dreams alot. I'm walking around topless and appear to not notice for awhile. ::) Once I realize I get horribly embarrassed even though no one else seems to notice or care.

Then I'll have dreams where I'm topless but have no breast- and everybody's happy. :D
Title: Re: nightmares
Post by: Lachlann on October 02, 2009, 09:00:08 PM
I don't have dreams where I'm suddenly topless, but I have a lot of dreams where I'm with a girl I like, but I notice that I still have my female body and she doesn't notice. No one notices but me. And so for the entire dream I'm worried they will figure me out.
Title: Re: nightmares
Post by: Calistine on October 02, 2009, 09:56:06 PM
Quote from: Radar on October 02, 2009, 08:36:08 PM

Then I'll have dreams where I'm topless but have no breast- and everybody's happy. :D
I dont have those. I think its because I know I dont have that chest and Im afraid of what is there and that people will see it.
Title: Re: nightmares
Post by: DamagedChris on October 02, 2009, 11:28:07 PM
I've had these dreams too...or dreams of being outed publically.
Title: Re: nightmares
Post by: CodyJess on October 02, 2009, 11:43:11 PM
Despite having very little bottom dysphoria (compared to my intense dislike of the fatsacks on top of my pecs), my nightmares usually involve being out in public, and then suddenly realizing I'm in a night-shirt or something... with nothing covering my bottom half. Trying to hide or act like nothing's wrong, despite knowing people are going to figure out I'm a 'girl' if they look down there.

I guess I've gone most of my life ignoring and minimizing my chest... so the thought of people seeing it doesn't bother me. I'd be nervous if I found myself shirtless, but I've never had dreams about it.