I don't dress like a prostitute, in fact I don't wear dresses, skirts, or heels except for job interviews. I wear jeans, tennis shoes, & camisoles. But I still get propositioned. I feel like a complete idiot for posting a topic like this, especially after posting/removing one last night crying about how I just want to find a good man & take care of him. But the thing is, I've had(once again today) guys my age, nice looking buisinessmen in nice cloths & driving high end(adult)cars actually & literally beg to give me a ride. Of course this doesn't happen every time I step out my front door & I don't exactly turn many heads just going about my business. I understand they probably just want a quick thrill, & a marrige proposal somewhere down the road is less likely than a sooner choking to death, but I can't help wonder am I missing a possibilty for something good?
That would be your call. you're a big girl now. But I would hate to see your name on a list or police blotter.
Janet
That can be a tricky one. Some guys are nice, some are not very nice at all
When I was younger, I would accept a ride from just about anyone. But those days of fearlessness are long gone now.
Now that I'm older (and hopefully a bit wiser) I'm more selective about who I'll climb in a car with.
Just be careful and carry pepper spray or something should things get too weird or out of hand ;)
I know the obvious answer is I'm an idiot if I take the ride & have no one to blame other than myself if I wind up in a shallow grave in the desert because I am old enough to know better, but the thing is I just don't feel afraid, but more unworthy of the attention at all. I don't dress or hang out in shady places. I've got a concealed weapons permit & have the ability to protect myself to that extent.
Forgive me Bellaon7 but I'm not sure how to ask this more delicately...
Are they, in their mind, propositioning a pretty girl or a trans person? Either way, I imagine the intentions are probably lusty rather than honourable but if they are reading you, then I can pretty much guarantee that it's gratification they're after.
Would I accept a ride under these circumstances? Not on your nelly! :)
Echoing Finewine,
How many people are these guys stopping for and offering a ride to?
There is absolutely no use in thinking or stating, awe, he looks nice he can't be evil. There is NO look of evil, Charles Manson excepted.
In my humble opinion DON'T. You are missing out on nothing and may be avoiding a terrible time, or worse.
Cindy
Ultimately the choice is yours. All I can give you is my perspective.
I am MTF but only part time in appearance so usually when I present as female it is when I'm at nightclubs. In a way that makes things even more dangerous because I usually drink (although I keep it at a responsible level) and am surrounded by drunks as well. Long story short, I never accept rides from a stranger. I only accept a ride from someone I actually know if it is an emergency. That is in part because I own a car myself so I really don't need rides to begin with. I am also extremely choosy as to who I allow in my car.
I don't get in strangers cars mainly due to safety issues and convenience. Once you are in someone else's car, they are in control--not you. They may seem sober at first but after a couple of miles down the street you realize you have a dangerously drunk driver on your hands. Second, since you don't know them you also don't know where they live or where you are going. They may tell you they will take you to such and such place but they are in charge of the steering wheel--not you. As the drive goes on, you could get more suspicious and eventually have to jump out. That could mean a long taxi drive back to wherever you were and hopefully you were smart enough to bring enough money for it. Even then, you have now wasted time and money. As to safety, you don't know who the person is and it is literally the roll of the dice. They could take you to a destination with no questions asked on one hand or on the other hand you could have a knife or gun right to your head the moment you close the passenger door. I'd rather not put myself in those situations.
Additionally, question the motive of the person and also question your behavior. If you are standing around or loitering for a period of time, then the driver may think you are a hooker and try to solicit you. My advice if this is happening is not to loiter (i.e. find something better to do with your time). If on the other hand, you are clearly walking to a destination and minding your own business and a vehicle is circling you or approaching, I would consider that very suspicious on the part of the driver. Normal people have lives to live and things to do. People going about normal commutes would not have time to even notice your presence on a public street. Anyone who is noticing you enough to pull over and ask you if you need a ride clearly is "cruising" or at minimum has nothing going on. Remember the phrase, "An idle mind is the devil's playground." I have a busy life and therefore anyone who has a life so boring that they are trying to find out where a stranger is walking and why is not getting a pleasant reaction from me.
If this is happening frequently, you may want to question the neighborhood you are in or the venues you are at. Again, normal people with normal lives don't have time to be casing strangers. I consider any pedestrians or vehicles who are loitering, circling, or moving slowly with no apparent destination to be highly suspicious. In fact, I occasionally call the police on such people. It is NOT normal.
You mentioned you have a CWP. So do I but one of the first things I learned with self-defense is the most important tool is avoidance. I want to live a peaceful and meaningful existence. Having to call the police on people, detain them, shoot them, or taser them isn't exactly what I consider an enjoyable evening. No matter how skilled you are or what weapons you carry, each time you encounter problematic people, you are increasing your chances of something happening to you. Nobody is invincible and the goal should be enjoying life--not having to deal with scary people.
Sorry for the long rant but I hope this helps.
Don't miss this opportunity sweetie. If they are good-looking and rich, why not? But it's all written in the FACE. You should know how to read faces well. For example before yesterday a guy stopped his car and when I approached I already read it was a bad person and indeed when I refused and said 'Oops sorry I thought you were a friend', he already knew I got scared and didn't wanna get in his car and he started swearing at me.
1 thing, if they are good-looking, your type and their 'faces' make you feel at ease, then don't hesitate to jump into the water!
shelina that was spoken like every victim the greenriver killer whacked at least two of them were interviewed by the news prior to thier disappearence both thought they could spot the killer what a dangerous thought pattern you have. Ted bundy resembled a well dressed buisness man. not every killer looks like a crazed maniac in fact many can apear charming and well mannered it comes from living a lie. they have no emotions so they go threw life faking them to get by and not be singled out as a whack job by society. thing of the effort we ourselfs put into being trying to fit in. serial killers excert the same amount of effert hence the reason they rack up 50 or 60 victims before the police figure out whats going on and guess what someone always says " he was such a nice guy i never thought" and that is what gets people killed
jessica
What Jesse said and...
Quote from: Bellaon7 on October 07, 2009, 07:59:52 PMI don't dress like a prostitute, in fact I don't wear dresses, skirts, or heels except for job interviews. I wear jeans, tennis shoes, & camisoles.
So you are the average woman going about your day, right?
Quote from: Bellaon7 on October 07, 2009, 07:59:52 PM...I've had..guys my age, nice looking businessmen in nice cloths & driving high end..cars actually & literally beg to give me a ride.
...and they are dogs...ur...uh...guys with money who think that the
"average" girl will be so impressed with the bling that they will give
up a piece of that ass. The hornier they are the more they beg.
How far do you think that crap will get them with "their own kind"?
Take care of your dignity, it really is all we have.
This happens to women just going about their business all the time here, day, night, & every part of town. When I first moved here & my motorcycle was in the shop for a few days I had to ride the bus & would walk w/this store clerck home when we got got at our stop because she had to deal this every night. The first time I accepted a ride it was from a cabbie at the bus stop after many no's & pleases. We dated for a few months & he drove me to work every day, but he was married. The next time I accepted a ride was after a job intervew. I was waiting for the bus & a guy in his late 20's with a BMW lowrider who wasn't being aggresive just really trying hard. He was blocking the bus stop & so the bus passed w/o stopping. The guy was handsome beyond belief & so I said I said wth. He gave me a ride to a parking lot by my apt complex we made out & something else that didn't involve intercourse. He had NO idea I was ts. I got his # but didn't call him back. I've not actively put myself out there to meet someone because I'm pre-op.
Post Merge: October 08, 2009, 04:09:14 PM
No.
I did it once when I was young and naive. As soon as we drove off I was like what the hell are you thinking?!
In my case he was just being nice and offered me a ride, nothing more, but I was lucky. Never again.
Jay
Quote from: Matilda on October 08, 2009, 04:31:34 PM
Hmmm....I am sorry to say, but I also find it hard to believe that men would constantly stop their cars and ask women if they want a ride unless, of course, the women in question are being read as "trans" or they are dressed....ummm....how should I put it?...."too provocatively".
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I swear to God, I live in Las Vegas & this happens to many women who are by themsevles.I see this all the time. There are certain parts of town that very well known for prostitution. I've never walked in these places, but everyone who lives here knows where they are. IOW, if someone wants a prostitute, ts or otherwise, they know where to go. A visitor, can ask just about anyone & get directions on exactly where to go. I'm talking about ordinary women, not dressed as whores getting propositioned. It happens a lot at bus stops & realy pisses people off. I've seen both guys & other women go to bat for a woman getting hassled.
You have done nothing wrong, you need not defend yourself if someone
hasn't experienced the same things that you have. The only thing that you
need to do is watch out for yourself. Do what you will harming no one,
including yourself. Nor allow any to harm you.
Yeah she's right, I've seen it too, it's freaking weird. The answer is to quit horsing around in americas underarm and come to Portland where the cool kids are.
I used to hitchhike when I was young! But, only up our own "hill" which was not served by the bus, and only certain types of cars like VW Beetles etc family ppl.
Once I kinda invited myself into a strangers' car, they'd stopped to ask me for directions and I got right in telling 'em they could have all the directions they needed but I needed to get out of there - I had a gang of guys zeroing in on me and boy was I glad to get in some strangers' car lol.
I've BEEN the stranger helping people out, an old lady and a young gal come to mind, got 'em where they were going and that was that just being nice.
It's funny the 15 years I was a car driver I never thought of using my car to pick gals up, now that I'm back on a motorcycle it's like I'm more aware of and "in" my surroundings and I'd be lying if I said I didn't notice cute girls and consider asking 'em if they want a ride!
(Can't though since I never carry an extra helmet with me and I have a canvas carrying bag semi-permenantly installed on the back seat of the bike.)
Be careful out there! The real creeps are good at disguising their intentions, I myself am lousy at that sort of thing and even I mastered it to a great extent to better do business deals. A sociopath spends all their time working on this. The one that gets you may be the one you least suspect.
Quote from: Becca on October 08, 2009, 10:25:33 PM
Yeah she's right, I've seen it too, it's freaking weird. The answer is to quit horsing around in americas underarm and come to Portland where the cool kids are.
Becca! Stop making sense & trying to trap me in your clever web of common sense. Cuz that would just make sense & that's just crazy...cuz...
Post Merge: October 09, 2009, 03:11:05 AM
Quote from: Becca on October 08, 2009, 10:25:33 PM
Yeah she's right, I've seen it too, it's freaking weird. The answer is to quit horsing around in americas underarm and come to Portland where the cool kids are.
Post Merge: October 09, 2009, 01:13:08 AM
your gonna make me fall in love!
Post Merge: October 08, 2009, 11:45:50 PM
Quote from: Alex_C on October 08, 2009, 10:27:10 PM
I used to hitchhike when I was young! But, only up our own "hill" which was not served by the bus, and only certain types of cars like VW Beetles etc family ppl.
Once I kinda invited myself into a strangers' car, they'd stopped to ask me for directions and I got right in telling 'em they could have all the directions they needed but I needed to get out of there - I had a gang of guys zeroing in on me and boy was I glad to get in some strangers' car lol.
I've BEEN the stranger helping people out, an old lady and a young gal come to mind, got 'em where they were going and that was that just being nice.
It's funny the 15 years I was a car driver I never thought of using my car to pick gals up, now that I'm back on a motorcycle it's like I'm more aware of and "in" my surroundings and I'd be lying if I said I didn't notice cute girls and consider asking 'em if they want a ride!
(Can't though since I never carry an extra helmet with me and I have a canvas carrying bag semi-permenantly installed on the back seat of the bike.)
Be careful out there! The real creeps are good at disguising their intentions, I myself am lousy at that sort of thing and even I mastered it to a great extent to better do business deals. A sociopath spends all their time working on this. The one that gets you may be the one you least suspect.
Whoa! Hold on there & slow this train down, you're saying that you actually wittnessed someone successfully getting a VW to go uphill, under the power of it's own engine?!?!
Yah and with us skinny little kids in it in addition!
No. Don't do it. I had friends and acquaintances who were beaten and molested. I know of people like us who end up dead.
Find potential companionship in the activities you pursue. That's where you will find lasting friends and potential significant others.
Cindi
Quote from: Alex_C on October 09, 2009, 01:25:18 AM
Yah and with us skinny little kids in it in addition!
ROGLMAO, ty! ;D-
Post Merge: October 09, 2009, 09:11:25 AM
Quote from: Alex_C on October 09, 2009, 01:25:18 AM
Yah and with us skinny little kids in it in addition!
Come on man don't diss the flat-four, that's the People's Car.
Yeah getting in cars with strangers, I dunno ..... I'd be hesitant to get in a car even with a 98-lb hottle just because then SHE's in control and what kind of 200-lb lunker of a BF is just out of sight?
Ummm...You might want to back off on you "T" dosages.
(Referencing you current avitar.)
:icon_chuckel:
Yeah ain't it great? I found it somewhere and stole it.
I'm bananas over it.
Thank you for standing by. We now return you to your regularly scheduled tread.
Will you two quit 'monkeying' around.
Janet
Pff...sounds like someone has a chimp on their shoulder to me!
:)
Quote from: Matilda on October 09, 2009, 04:56:36 PM
Anyway, back to the topic in question! ::)
Ahhhhh....Vegas! Anything can happen in Vegas, indeed! ;D Last time my boyfriend and I were there, some people were acting kind of crazy on the streets. What is that saying? "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas".
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LMAO!!! I don't care what stays here, just as long as I can make it outta here alive!
Ok, at this point you probably should make up your mind as a lot of us have given you advice. You can't change the general climate of the entire city but you can choose on what you want to do about it. If you want to acknowledge weirdos (no matter how 'nice' they look) in vehicles or otherwise casing your presence then that is up to you and you already know the dangers.
If, on the other hand, you decide that you definitely do not want to be bothered, I have a solution for you. You stated you have a CCW permit. Start carrying openly. It won't look feminine and will probably raise eyebrows but it is extremely unlikely that any creep in a vehicle will pull over to bother a woman clearly packing a gun. I've done this (whether dressed as a girl or not) and you take one look back at the gangbangers who were first staring at you only to notice they are suddenly gone. Nevada like Arizona is an open carry state.
That being said, I would definitely avoid this crap as much as possible. It pays to have your own vehicle so you aren't as exposed to all of the eyeballing. Based on your recent posts, it sounds like you have already tried 'jumping in these cars' so you already have experience with this. I'll give it to you that it is adventurous and even I've done some similar adventurous things in terms of the dating scene (but never jumped in someone else's car). Regardless, you need to weigh the risks and the benefits. Generally, the best possible outcome of hooking up with a stranger is a quickie whereas the worst outcome is ending up in a bodybag. That doesn't sound like a good combination of odds. You are not likely to meet your life long partner on the side of a road, just find a bit of a sex thrill. I would rather screen people ahead of time before jumping in bed with them. At least meeting them in a bar or over several visits in public places gives you more normalcy and relative safety than randomly jumping in someone's truck. C'mon.
Ty Britney, what you say makes good sense. I certainly wouldn't recommend that anyone else do what I've done. Although Nv is an open carry state, there are strict city ordanences about oc even w/a cw permit. I'm very careful about where I carry. If I were to openly carry I would be stopped by every cop that passed by. It would just be foolish. Besides, where the heck am I gonna strap a Freedom Arms .454 Casull?!
Another strategy is to simply be assertive. Rather than let a creep put me on the defensive, I will pre-emptively put them on the defensive. For instance, if someone is constantly eyeballing me in a rude manner I will eventually say, "What is the problem?" or "Do you need something?" before they have a chance to confront me. Or, if some vehicle is slowing down or suspiciously circling, the second their window rolls down, I will yell "What do you want?" before they have a chance to even ask.
I don't want to interact with strangers beyond a simple "Hi," a smile, or a door being held. Anything other than this should be a dire emergency. It is invasive, rude, and annoying to be bothered by people begging for cigarettes, money, or rides for instance or even asking directions. Trying to pick someone up of course is outright disturbing to me. Adults as far as I'm concerned should basically have it together without needing my help. I generally consider anyone trying to get my attention in public who I do not know automatically suspicious. I have the right to be left alone. You do too. Enough said.
Good personal survival policy.
The best defense is an alert offense!
Quote from: Laura91 on October 07, 2009, 08:30:47 PM
I would NEVER accept a ride from a stranger.
Mee too..
Jay
Back in the old days (1970's & 80's), I used to do quite a bit of hitchhiking.
I met all sorts of wonderful people in violation to any stereotype.
I met business types in gooshy cars, single mothers of twins in vans,
immigrants in broken-down heaps and guys proud of their brand-new sports car.
I've been proselytized and sometimes even mildly got propositioned.
Over time the readiness of people to give you a lift has sharply decreased.
The last time that I tried to seriously hitchhike two years ago I got 10 miles out of the 160 miles I needed.
As a woman now, I don't hitchhike.
I did accept an unsolicited ride once while walking along a highway.
That was probably a stupid thing to do.
Still, I miss meeting all the nice characters that I used to meet.
It is sad how times have changed. I would still consider it quite a difference between purposefully hitchiking and simply being cased. At least if you are purposefully trying to get a ride, then you are already the one trying to flag down motorists and you might get more of a mixture of people who may or may not help you get where you are going. The safety issue is of course there because in that mix you will have criminals right along with nice people.
However, what Bellaon7 was referring to was simply minding her own business and having vehicles desperately trying to give her a ride. That to me is automatically suspicious. If a pedestrian is making no indication of needing a lift and is clearly heading towards a destination and appears able-bodied enough, there is no reason why people should be going out of their way to give that person a lift. At best, it refers to motorists who have way too much time on their hands and at worst it refers to criminals who are casing the girl for potentially a rape or robbery. It is not normal.