So i was wondering today when should i try and come out and how long will it actully take me to come out.
So i thought i would ask the question, once you new you were a female how long did it actully take for you to get up the corage and come out to the people cloest to you?
Thanks in advance.
When I woke up and realized what I now feel was painfully obvious since I was 6-8 years old, I went into a deep depression that lasted 9 months before other factors in my life finally pushed me to the point where I finally came out and said it.
It happened in oct-nov 08 and it's now oct-nov again, and it pains and frightens me that I've already lost another year in the blink of an eye.
I suppose 8 months isn't a long time to make a choice where the wrong decision could destroy your life, but if I could go back and change things, I would definitely have come out sooner.
Quote from: justme19 on October 12, 2009, 04:47:20 AM
So i was wondering today when should i try and come out and how long will it actully take me to come out.
So i thought i would ask the question, once you new you were a female how long did it actully take for you to get up the corage and come out to the people cloest to you?
Thanks in advance.
I mean, I knew my entire life (or at least as far back as I can remember). Maybe not knowing exactly what it was, but knowing something was awry. When did I actually accept it, when I was 19. When did I actually come out? 22. I wouldn't say it took me 3 years to come out though, I would say it took me about 4 months to get the courage up after deciding I wanted to come out. I wish I could have had the courage when I was younger to talk to my parents about it more, but I didn't (although I did a little bit).
When I did come out though, it was basically a one shot deal. I was out and full time in a month. Name change was in that time too, as well as hormones.
I think when you are ready to come out, you will come out. When I came out, it wasn't a planned thing. I literally was like, I think I am going to call my mom and tell her - and I did, right then and there.
realized in youth, came out at 17 to parents.
Now at 21 been on hormones on and off for a while and hoping to pass/go FT when I graduate in June.
It was never an option for me for most of my life, & then when it was I fought against it armed with only my own guilt & shame until I could fight no more. I finally embraced it & although it's been more of a bed thorns as opposed to roses, there's no going back. More importantly, I woudn't even if I could.
I've know since I was five and growing up it was always in the back of my mind, but it seemed so shocking and embarrassing that I just kept it too myself, secretly venturing into my mums wordrobe. Once I moved out of home I developed myself a bit more with crossdressing, living a double life. Going out as a guy and hanging out with men was just boring and I avoided it. As soon as I started going out as me I would never be home. People knew there was something up, they could see it in me and my voice etc, everyone thought I was gay and that pushed me to tell the truth. Being labelled as something you're not hurts more, the rumours destroyed a lot of old friendships which helped me start my own life. It wasn't easy I struggled with it being in a relationship that ended on top of everything about myself that I was going through. But I got through it and as soon as I told my mum everything fell into place. The weight lifted from my shoulders and I no longer had to pretend I was something I'm not.
For me that was the turning point, telling my family, getting their understanding and support helped so much. But even if you don't get that support you can still be yourself and live your own life it's your choice.
I am glad I was financially stable before I came out as I lost my job while struggling with everything and my savings helped get the ball rolling.
Basically when you are ready in yourself, if you come out and then everyone just looks at you like "well are you going to be a girl or what?". Being able to let yourself go and fall into being yourself (practising behind closed doors etc) is helpful!! Growing your hair and buying some new clothes etc getting prepared for it is a good start. A try before you buy kind of deal! From the first time of going out in public dressed as me, it took less than 12months to start HRT, but everyone is different. :P
2c
S.x
I kinda knew when i was 7-8, I was sure when i was about 9 or 10. I fought it, I tried to be "normal". I did football, wrestling and weight lifting to be more "manly". I just got tired of hiding from myself. I just couldn't stand not being me any longer. I'm all of one and a half weeks in - so that's 20 years to come out to the closest person to me - me. :P
Only one person knows IRL - my fiancee - thankfully she is still with me and only pressures me to do good things for myself :)
Other then her I'm very much still in the closet and hiding behind the winter coats.