Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: lizbeth on October 26, 2009, 05:24:13 PM

Title: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: lizbeth on October 26, 2009, 05:24:13 PM
deleted

Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: FairyGirl on October 26, 2009, 05:38:45 PM
Congratulations Beth! No advice except just be your charming self and let them see that you're no different than any other female employee. I wish you the best of luck! ;)
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Hannah on October 26, 2009, 05:47:17 PM
Beth, I am so freaking proud of you and honored to know you.
I know you'll be just fine and probably better  :)
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Janet_Girl on October 26, 2009, 05:54:40 PM
Beth,

I hope and pray that it all works out for you.  Being you have the option of work from home, you may have a great way to work for the same company.

Congratulations, Hon.  You go, Girl.


Janet
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: heatherrose on October 26, 2009, 05:57:26 PM


Have you sought the advice of a therapist or another professional
experienced in these matters? I understand the personal angst that has
driven you to this decision but it is unwise to go into this without having a plan
laid out with specific goals in mind. I would advise that you get everything
that is spoken of and agreed to documented in writing. If you are up for
promotion get that in writing and so on. I wish you the best.


Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Tammy Hope on October 26, 2009, 06:32:31 PM
I'm proud and nervous for you! I hope you get only the best treatment, can't wait to hear how it goes.
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: finewine on October 27, 2009, 02:27:35 AM
Good luck at your meeting!  As someone who is a director in a US-owned multinational, my advice is as follows...

When you tell them what you're going through, point out that you realize this change will be visible to the other employees and that the company may not have had to actively practice or enforce whatever diversity policies they have in place.  Ask how you can help them, as you appreciate the support, help and acceptance they will show you.

By phrasing it this way, you're making a very positive and non-demanding stance while still gently making them aware that you DO know you there is an obligation on them and what your expectations are - all in a way that doesn't sound like an aggressive demand.  An HR director should be smart enough to get your message and respond positively to your amenable approach (hopefully you don't have a bigoted arse for an HR director).

The big mistake most people make is blundering in with a confrontational attitude of entitlement which, even if they are entitled, is just going to put everyone else's hackles up and will just be counter-productive.
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Chrissty on October 27, 2009, 05:07:08 AM
It only seems like yesterday, you were talking about your first therapy appointment..

..your progress puts me to shame... ::)
Good Luck Honey!  :icon_bunch:

:icon_hug:

Chrissty
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: jesse on October 27, 2009, 05:48:40 AM
hugs im hoping for the best possible out come for you id listen carefully to the tone of the meeting hopefully it will give you an idea how well its going to be recieved
best of luck ill send positive vibes your way
jessica
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: sneakersjay on October 27, 2009, 08:21:48 AM
I brought a lot of paperwork to my meeting based on the info in the coming out at  work section here and on other websites.

Mainly a copy of the law in my state pertaining to gender identity, a well-written handout on what transsexuality is and isn't, a humorous information page of what transition is/isn't, and a personal letter to HR.  Maybe a few other things I can't remember.

It was a non-issue.  We don't really have an HR department but a mish-mash of managers.  I gave it to a friendly manager, who took it to the manager's meeting, after which I was told there would be no issues, and they set a date for the formal coming out to coworkers.

They posted an announcement and that was that.

Good luck!


Jay
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Debra on October 27, 2009, 09:34:40 AM
That's awesome Beth! I can't wait till I can do this too. Work is the only place I'm stuck in guy mode now and it sucks...trying to be patient.....
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Ellieka on October 27, 2009, 09:47:16 AM
All I can say is, YAY SIS!  :eusa_clap: :eusa_dance: :icon_dance:
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Dana Lane on October 27, 2009, 05:18:31 PM
Congratulations! woo hoo!
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Janet_Girl on October 27, 2009, 05:23:57 PM
Way super cool.  I am happy for you, Beth.  And remember write everything down that is said.

Begin now to get your name changed, so you can get your ID and SSN changed to the new name.  When I did it I was still under the old name for about a month till Corporate caught up with my transition.  They even changed my health insurance to reflect 'Female'.

Congratulations again, Hon.


Janet
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: heatherrose on November 05, 2009, 11:11:09 PM


Have you looked into any of the coming out at work handout literature available
on the net? What you consider "looking out for your best interest" could be them
simply covering their butts. I would advise you to not take anything for granted.
There is a girl here (I am sure one of many) who got all thumbs up, reassuring pats
on the back, and "support" from Corporate. When she physically transitioned,
their "support" and her job evaporated. Watch out for yourself because these
snakes have been known to bite. They are doing things without you knowing
about it, what else is going on behind your back? Perhaps, you might consider
having a snake of your own in your corner? Go sit and listen to what
a legal professional has to say and take their advice.



Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Hannah on November 05, 2009, 11:39:32 PM
QuoteI almost feel like a fool going to work tomorrow in guy mode

Stop for a minute and think about the overall awesomeness of that statement.

I agree it sounds a little disconcerting, but from my vantage point these people have been really good to you so far so hopefully this was just over-enthusiasm on their part.
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Tammy Hope on November 05, 2009, 11:56:21 PM
if you have a long weekend at Thanksgiving, maybe then?

Certainly you have much to be thankful for and how cool would it be to be yourself at the Christmas parties?
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: lizbeth on November 16, 2009, 05:30:28 PM
December 8th!!!

WOO HOO!!

taking the week after thanksgiving off and then going full time including at work on december 8th.

exciting times! :)
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: K8 on November 16, 2009, 06:56:30 PM
Whoo hoo! :eusa_dance:  Exciting times indeed.

How wonderful, Beth.  You'll be great. :eusa_clap:

- Kate
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Janet_Girl on November 16, 2009, 07:04:17 PM
You rock, Girl.  Give them hell on the 8th.  :eusa_dance:


Janet
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Tammy Hope on November 17, 2009, 12:47:03 AM
Three cheers!

Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Julie Marie on December 08, 2009, 10:39:52 AM
Good luck Beth.  Hope all goes well!   :icon_yes:
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Janet_Girl on December 08, 2009, 10:51:38 AM
I own. I own. So off to work I go.


You will be fine, Hon.  Have a good day.




Hugs and Love
Janet
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Cyndigurl45 on December 08, 2009, 10:54:18 AM
Good luck sweetie :-) remember what I said, lots of pictures ;)
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: tekla on December 08, 2009, 11:07:18 AM
Given your pix its hard to believe that they didn't see this coming.  However, never underestimate the ability of the boss not to see what they don't want to see.

I know a couple of people who have gone through the same process in the past year and it went fine for them.  There are some - not enough, but some - protections in place in Cali, still, given the economy its hard to argue with a company's claim that the firing was for 'financial reasons.'  Still, its a weird economy, while I know a lot of people who have no job, and can't find one at all, the people I know who have jobs are working more and making more then they ever did before - which is weird.

But you seem clear headed, educated, and aware, most companies are looking for that.
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Ms Jessica on December 08, 2009, 12:06:42 PM
OMG, how's it going?  I'm so nervous for you! 
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Dana Lane on December 08, 2009, 03:05:40 PM
Glad things are going good for you! And you look AWESOME! hugs
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Janet_Girl on December 08, 2009, 03:13:02 PM
You look like any other girl that has a job.  Just one of the crowd.



Hugs and Love
Janet
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: jesse on December 09, 2009, 01:49:58 AM
you look good beth i hope it goes well for you hun
jessica
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Debra on December 09, 2009, 07:38:45 AM
Looking great girl =)
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Cyndigurl45 on December 09, 2009, 10:26:05 AM
Quote from: beth~chella on December 08, 2009, 02:57:43 PM
so far so good! lots of stares and smiles, but so far it's only been positive. I was a bit nervous on my 1 hour commute into the office this morning though. :)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhphotos-snc3.fbcdn.net%2Fhs111.snc3%2F15851_1159274753703_1582818929_30398099_1382265_n.jpg&hash=08a440671582ca9329291e6e262dd25c1d5754bb)
OH My remarkable we need more pictures....
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: K8 on December 09, 2009, 05:52:49 PM
Beth, you look amazing!  It's hard to be bold enough to go out in public and especially to the work place, but it looks to me like everyone was staring, saying to themselves "Now why didn't I realize she was a woman?"

- Kate
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Janet_Girl on December 09, 2009, 06:10:33 PM
You look like a real working girl, and not the street walker kind.  Love that red top.



Hugs and Love
Janet
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: jesse on December 10, 2009, 01:56:51 AM
i love it you look so great beth you kind of look like an a female narcotics officer i know hugs
much success in your professional life
jessica
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Hannah on December 10, 2009, 02:08:28 AM
Oh lawd it's the fuzz, yep I've got a heck of a lot of vicodins, and I'm in he market for some percocet... Oh no busted!! Handcuff me and take me away officer.

Please  :icon_ciggy:
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: jesse on December 10, 2009, 02:13:58 AM
hmmm becca if we are to take you away it would involve shackles belly chain and offset cuffs for transport. one can not let ones hands touch when transporting might be in possesion of some home made lock picks yes. hmmm do or do not there is no try apprentice
jessica
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Hannah on December 10, 2009, 02:18:06 AM
If I resisted arrest then I would have to be subdued and would really deserve a stern punishment.
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: jesse on December 10, 2009, 02:21:57 AM
twirls baton and sparks taser hmmm .....you really want to go there youngster hehe  (grins evily)
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Debra on December 10, 2009, 08:24:52 AM
Wow girl you look so gorgeous! Thanks for being an inspiration =)
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: AmySmiles on December 10, 2009, 10:05:50 PM
Congratulations on the big step ;D  You look great! 
Title: Re: Meeting with HR tomorrow
Post by: Alyssa M. on December 11, 2009, 12:09:40 AM
Congratulations!

And I like your cubicle. Next goal: Corner office. ;)