How many (if any) of you buy female clothing for yourself while dressed as male? I have bought panties. socks, tops, or jeans but before long I am going to need a bra if for no other reason than to hide my nips which are now clearly visible in most of the shirts I wear. Have any of you bought bras while dressed as male? While I usually have not recieved much attention from other women while shopping, there have been one or tow who looked at me like I was crazy for even being there. Maybe their insecurities were showing that day. I need to go look for a bra but am feeling a bit insecure myself today.
Randi :)
Is it possible to go shopping as your real, girl self? What's holding you back?
Before going full time, I did the same thing as you. I bought plenty of clothes, even shoes as my former self. Hardly anyone ever paid much attention. All the while, my friends would ask why I didn't go home and change first. I guess it was fear or I had some hang ups.
Then one day I found some nice pants and a sweater that I really wanted to try on. The woman at the register stopped me from going in and trying them on. I realized then how silly this whole matter had become.
A few months later, I was out in the lingerie section shopping for bras. I was a little surprised to be approached by a young sales girl who asked if I wanted to go back into the changing room to try them on. She even offered assistance, if I needed a fitting! Talk about a refreshing change.
Of course, now I can go shopping anywhere at anytime. The only thing holding me back is money. Come to think of it, I don't think the men would feel comfortable with me going back into their changing rooms! ;)
Quote from: juliekins on October 30, 2009, 01:20:16 PM
Of course, now I can go shopping anywhere at anytime. The only thing holding me back is money. Come to think of it, I don't think the men would feel comfortable with me going back into their changing rooms! ;)
Yeah, they probably would, but nobody thinks anything of a girl picking up some guy pants or shirts and trying them on.
Not that I would (*yuck*), but I would have no worries if I did.
Interesting how things change when you switch camps. :D
-Sandy
There are only two things holding me back, Julie-I don't look very feminine yet (in my opinion) and dressing as a woman is not accepted at home(married 20 years with a teenage son).
I am just getting started and am a work in progress LOL. I haven't started make up or entire outfits, shoes, etc. The most I have done is jeans and top and even then I just went to a friends house so it wasn't really out in public view. I long for the day that I can go out as female but will need plenty of help before that day arrives. My hair while it is shoulder length is thin and cut like a male-yuk. I am learning how to style it in different ways though and can get the basic shape I want it to have. I have to do my shopping while away from home-say during my lunch break or after work. I need to get a bra or figure how to layer on so as to hide my nips especially at work.
If you have suggestions for someone who is essentially clueless about style and fashion, I am all ears!!
Thanks a bunch,
Randi ;)
Post Merge: October 30, 2009, 01:50:53 PM
Hello Sandy,
When I am shopping I am too afraid to try something feminine on-I should try to change that and soon. If I had someone to go with me it might be easier but that also might be used as a crutch so I will have to think about it. Yes I am afraid/terrified/mortified-now that I have identified it I can better deal with it-Yes/No??? OMG, what a wimp I have become. It is one thing to think about what others will think of me when they aren't there but is another to actually put it into practice. Yep, it would appear that I'm a wimp of the highest order!
Bye for now,
Randi ;)
The one time I bought a bra my daughter was with me. I already knew my band size (42) as I'd measured my chest. I then took a guess that C would be appropriate sized cups based on my height (6'1") and weight (190#).
I'm a cross-dresser whose not on hormones and hasn't had FFS. If I shave with a new blade, I can have a shadow, well instantly. So, passing without concealing makeup is impossible for me. I was in full guy/dad mode when I bought the bra. I didn't try it on in the store, though.
Quote from: Randi on October 30, 2009, 01:39:10 PM
Post Merge: October 30, 2009, 01:50:53 PM
Hello Sandy,
When I am shopping I am too afraid to try something feminine on-I should try to change that and soon. If I had someone to go with me it might be easier but that also might be used as a crutch so I will have to think about it. Yes I am afraid/terrified/mortified-now that I have identified it I can better deal with it-Yes/No??? OMG, what a wimp I have become. It is one thing to think about what others will think of me when they aren't there but is another to actually put it into practice. Yep, it would appear that I'm a wimp of the highest order!
Bye for now,
Randi ;)
Randi:
Hon, don't worry, we've ALL been there! Going with a friend isn't a crutch as long as you learn to sail on your own, though I can understand how you could be worried about passing. My daughter, her mother-in-law and I went out to the mall one day and I was shaking like a leaf in a hurricane! Though very quickly I did settle down. No one questioned three women out on a shopping binge. Following that I gained much more confidence in going solo. Even getting read wasn't such a big deal. I hated it of course, but I knew I had to push on and get past it.
And you are no wimp! You are about to embark on a most fundamental change of life! It *is* scary! Realize, Randi, that very few people could handle the crushing burden of GID. We wouldn't wish this on our worst enemy, yet we must endure. And we do. And we thrive. You are facing your fears for perhaps the first time in your life. Congratulations hon!!!
Also too, one thing you might try is to go to the ladies apparel and ask for a sports bra for your wife. Here's where you can play the "scared male" card. Most clerks will take pity on you and just hand you what they think your "wife" will need. These are pretty nondescript and require no fitting. Just use your band size and tell them that she is a small cup size like a B/C if they ask. It will give you some support and protect your tender pubescent nipples. Also as you grow (and you will), it can provide you with enough compression that you probably won't show any bumpiness under a loose shirt.
Don't forget to post us to let us know how it goes! You'll do fine!
-Sandy
I do it quite often. If something looks good it doesn't matter how I am dressed. I just buy it. Several days ago while looking at skirt a lady who was stocking the clothing racks pointed out to me that I was looking in the womens clothing rack. I told her that I'm aware and wear these. Any more questions.
Sandy,
Thank you so very much for the reassurance and much needed advice. I was at Wally World the other day at lunch looking at the sports bras but not knowing anything about cup sizes-couldn't make myself take one to the check out line. I usually like my tops and pants to fit tight. I am now slowly starting to rethink this-since I am getting looks at my chest. I am finding that I am much more modest & fearful than I thought I was.
I have dealt with much fear and anguish in my lifetime & still I deal with it. Yes I agree GID is a heavy burden and at times seems that it will destroy me but the fighter deep within me will not yield without a fight. With friends like you I'm sure I'll be fine.
Love,
Randi :)
Post Merge: October 30, 2009, 03:11:37 PM
Shadesof grey-Thanks for sharing. I think this will be my next project-buy something and try it on while I am there at the store.
Genevieve-You go Girl!! That's the mindset I would like to have-lots of brass/no fear. I need you to go shopping with me!
Randi
You know, I used to have all of these fears about shopping. Honestly, now I shop for whatever I need, no matter how I dress. And really (this was the biggest shock) NOBODY CARES. My brother is a single dad with 2 teenage girls. He buys all their stuff. Yes. I mean all of it! No one looks at him funny either. So please don't worry. Things will be just fine. Get what you need.
(You might want to avoid holding things up against you to check the size.)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Kristi, LOL I did get a LOOK because I held a tshirt dress against me to check the fit. Another shopper just happened to round the corner as I was doing it. I turned red as a beet and couldn't get out of there fast enough!
Bye the way, I hope you don't mind my saying so but I love your avatar pic-you are gorgeous! I can tell you have really worked hard to develop your look. You give me something to hope for!
If there are any kinds of makeup you love or others to stay away from I would love to hear about it and need advice on matching skin tones-I really know nothing about it at all.
I am getting pretty good at painting my nails though. I even got my Mom to paint them for me while we were in Florida a couple of weeks ago. I can remember her painting mine when I was very small and for a few minutes I felt like a little girl again.
Later,
Randi ;)
ps-I also found out the hard way about Nair!!
If you want a silly confidence tip that works for virtually everything including make-up.....
CARRY A MOBILE PHONE ! :icon_wink:
Just hold it to your ear and walk around looking bored, when you find something you like stop and say...
"yes dear found it...what shade was the shade/size...hold on a minute...yep they have that..." ;D
..holding the phone does become a bit of a bind, but usually by then you have what you want ... ;)
..same thing applies at the checkout if you are still nervous.. :icon_nervious:
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Quote from: Chrissty on October 30, 2009, 06:01:30 PM
If you want a silly confidence tip that works for virtually everything including make-up.....
CARRY A MOBILE PHONE ! :icon_wink:
Just hold it to your ear and walk around looking bored, when you find something you like stop and say...
"yes dear found it...what shade was the shade/size...hold on a minute...yep they have that..." ;D
..holding the phone does become a bit of a bind, but usually by then you have what you want ... ;)
..same thing applies at the checkout if you are still nervous.. :icon_nervious:
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
genius!
When there is an SO & children are involved, giving advice, even through experience, is a whole different beast. I have a full grown Son going off to Afghanistan very soon, but my ts issues are positively resovled in the best of ways with him. I am very lucky & wish to help yet I don't know how other than to suggest you're not likely to be judged in harsh terms here. None of us are perfect, & we all carry scares. I've yet to hear of a "right" way to trans. If you need to yell, scream, & cry you're among those who have, do, & will.
Quote from: Randi on October 30, 2009, 01:39:10 PM
If you have suggestions for someone who is essentially clueless about style and fashion, I am all ears!!
Thanks a bunch,
Randi ;)
Hi Randi,
It is indeed a long road, best wishes for finding the path right for you!
One tip might be to get fashion magazines. Don't look at the runway pictures, that's 'clown' stuff, but the other content is great. There are plenty of tips on styles, makeup, skin care, etc .. and just looking through the magazines will help you develop a better sense of different fashions and looks. I subscribe to 4 different ones (Flare, Elle Canada, Lou Lou, Fashion), and you can get all of these cheap with those package plans, like speedy mags, etc. I've found reading through them the last couple of years to be a wonderfully useful resource for style for the day to day life, as well as seasonal looks, and special events etc
For Fall / Winter, get a scarf, they are so IN ;) You can throw them on top of anything for that extra pizazz.
Good Luck!, *huggs*,
Melan
I have a few tips that helped me when I first started...
Go on a weekday, and be out before 5:30, the shopping populace changes at that time.
Avoid sales!!! The women can get quite territorial.
Birthday cards. Carrying one is a get out of jail free card while shopping.
Eventually you realize you don't really need anything but the confidence to do it. No one really cares or pays attention so long as you act like you belong there. Act nervous and are hiding something and everyone will start to wonder and watch.
Quote from: Randi on October 30, 2009, 09:42:57 AM
How many (if any) of you buy female clothing for yourself while dressed as male?
About 6 years ago, when my hair was very short, looking like a typical dad, I purchased 3 white thongs which I am wearing right now. It was a department store in the U.S. I strolled along the lanes while grasping them in my left hand. Suddenly I realized that even women would not do that. I hurried to the cashier counter.
The pretty young cashier asked me "Is this yours?"
I did not reply, as I thought it's not her business.
About 3 years ago, I chatted with a woman owner when I tried to purchase a girdle. I asked her whether she has met any male customer who purchased a girdle. She said she saw some. I asked why those men purchased it, and so on.
Anyway, she gave me a girdle and said to me it is for unisex. I insisted that I want one exclusively for women. Finally I got one and later I realized that there is no such unisex stuffs, at least for girdles.
Barbie~~
I did the cell phone thing for quite a while. It did work great until it rang in the middle of a "conversation" in the bra dept. :P Be sure to turn your ringer OFF!
And I don't avoid sales at all. I actually DO belong there. And so do you if you want. Never, ever, pass up a clearance rack either. No one does.
What can we answer as far as makeup? That is a big subject.
And thanks for the wonderful (though undeserved) compliments.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Hi Randi.
As others have said it's the confidence thing, I buy in male clothes and of course as me. Never have had a problem. A few of the old tips. Measure your waist size, halve it and measure that distance from your fingers along your arm. Mark that spot. When looking for skirts etc just hold it in your measured arm and see if it fits. Simple and quite accurate. As time goes on and you get comfortable try the boutiques, they are quieter than the large stores and you can usually get spme help. The first time is the worst!! "I like this, do you think it will fit me?" The clerk has two options, serve you or ask you to leave. If it's the first you now have a store to come back to whenever you wish. If it's the latter, leave. BTW, being asked to leave has NEVER happened to me. I do have stores now in which the girls know me as Cindy and in male garb. They help out always; as Cindy I just use the dressing room. In drab they usually check the size for me and suggest larger or smaller, and to bring it back if it doesn't fit.
I think it is true that the biggest fear is fear. After that as others have said, no one cares, you are a sale.
Happy Shopping
Cindy
Buying female clothes while dressed as a male scares me to death because i think that everybody in the store is staring at me so i have a female friend of mine buy clothes for me.
Juanita-The 1st time I bought anything for women was at Kmart and I got a pair of stretch jeans and some panties. I was nervous but I got thru it fine. The girl at the checkout never looked at me twice. I did however get nervous when looking at bras and have yet to try anything on at the store-that's next.
Cindy-Thank you so much for the tip-I'll remember it. I have never been very confident at least until I studied martial arts but still have my moments of weakness even now. That's when I force my will to comply with what my mind wants to do.
Post Merge: November 01, 2009, 11:12:36 AM
Kristy, Hi and how are you? I can see it now-me talking away and the cell phone ringing while I am talking-hilarious probably to watch but not to experience Yes? I always check the clearance racks since I don't have too much difficulty finding something that will fit-at least in pants and tops. My immediate need for makeup is something to help with dark shadows under my eyes. I just hate the way they look in the morning so I need something that matches my skin tone. I am also having a time lately with my hair-it has a mind of it's own, it's too thin and is getting longer so it weighs more now and sometimes looks Ratty to me. Of course I'm my own worst critic LOL.
Thanks alot,
Randi
Post Merge: November 01, 2009, 12:24:32 PM
Barbie-I have also thought of buying a girdle. I have never had problems keeping my abs under control until this year. I also have eaten more candy and ice cream (Mmmm) this year too. I have had to completely swear off of the sweets and have doubled up on my abs routine-well sometimes.
LeslieAnn-That's pretty good about the birthday card-when I am not confident I will use it, Thanks.
Melan-I will go get some magazines this week. I got to read some while waiting at the doctors office the other day and loved it. I wear a scarf while riding my motorcycle when it's cold outside and will begin looking for things to coordinate colors with, thanks. Is that you in your avatar pic-if so you are very pretty. I do not have any pics of me yet but my avatar is slose to how I want my hair to look.
Post Merge: November 01, 2009, 01:36:03 PM
Bellaon7- Thank you for the kind words. The past couple of days have been rough ones and have taken a toll on my SO and myself. My son is 16 and while he doesn't know I am TG he asks occasionally if I am gay. I just pass it off as a joke and we go on. If he did know I do not believe he would have an issue with it-but fI'm not quite ready to go there yet.
Chrissty-that is a good idea about the cell phone but like Kristi I can just see myself talking on it and having it go off in front of a crowd of women shoppers-Yikes. Yes I think I will use that but will be certain that it is silenced!! Thanks! I love your hair the way it is fixed in the avatar pic-that's a lovely color.
I have never had a problem buying women cloths in male mode. a lot of times my wife come with me, but many times I go myself.
People are going to think what ever they want, and you can't stop them, but most don't care.
If your really nervous when you get to the cashier do what I did the first couple of times, and ask for a gift receipt, and mumble something like I hope she likes this !
Jamie
Looks like it's time to post this link again:
How To Buy A Dress In Public (http://www.d332.com/textarc/index.html#buy)Quote from: Pristine Angie, 1999Say you are dead thirsty and you sit down in a public bench and start to drink a glass of water, and someone comes by and tells you can't drink a glass of water; how do you look at them? THAT is the look you give anyone who is glaring at you.
And, yes, try clothes on at the store, not only for fit, but to see how it looks on you. I can usually tell whether a top will look good, but pants, well, you never know, and skirts can be surprisingly flattering or unflattering -- and don't even think about buying a dress you haven't triend on. That's just dumb.
If you're worried about using fitting rooms, just ask a clerk where you can try on the clothes you are buying. There are two possible outcomes: either they will show you the nearest fitting room, or they will lose your business. The former is much more likely.
I'm not sure what you're afraid of. I did this years ago when I was in college and never had problems. They even let me try on a dress in a women's shop without blinking. I admit before I did this I was very nervous, but once I stepped out I never had problems.
The key word here is FEAR and I just have to deal with it. Last night I decided that I am going to one of the major stores near here and get fitted for my 1st bra. I am going in there and just tell them what I want and be done with it. What else can they say besides either 'Oh Hell No' or 'Come this way and lets check your measurments' so either way won't kill me.
Randi 8)
I'm sure a lot of it depends on where you live, in Shades case, the Bay Area, its hard to get people to even blink about most stuff anymore. Sioux Falls, perhaps not so much.
But stores are really hurting for money, for sales of any sort right now. I'd have a hard time turning away any business these days. Besides guys buy stuff for women all the time, just act like you know what you are doing, the bumbling routine only attracts attention.
And thrift stores rock, you just have to keep going back as sort of a habit, good stuff don't last, but it does come through.
Confront the internalized transphobia, face it and move through it and consider yourself most worthy. They are privileged to have your business and the world is a better place every time one of us decides to be her self.
Quote from: Randi on November 05, 2009, 07:15:26 AM
The key word here is FEAR and I just have to deal with it. Last night I decided that I am going to one of the major stores near here and get fitted for my 1st bra. I am going in there and just tell them what I want and be done with it. What else can they say besides either 'Oh Hell No' or 'Come this way and lets check your measurments' so either way won't kill me.
Randi 8)
Good for you! *huggs*!!!!!
Melan
Quote from: tekla on November 05, 2009, 09:15:14 AM
And thrift stores rock, you just have to keep going back as sort of a habit, good stuff don't last, but it does come through.
Hi, my name is Shades, and I'm a thrift-aholic.
Well I went to JC Penny yesterday and met a very friendly lady in the intimates section. When I got there there wasn't anyone around and she took my chest measurement, showed me some options and other things I might also want, and that's when things got interesting. I can't imagine where all these women were hiding but when I looked behind me there were 12 or 13 women waiting there and this poor woman was helping me-taking my measurements! I'm sure you would have thought it was hillarious but the lady helping me got so embarrassed and nervous I just felt so sorry for her and said "would it be better if I came back when not so many people are here?" She could only shake her head in the affirmative so I took what I was holding to the counter and told her I would try these on at home (as she couldn't let a guy use the dressing rooms (bummer) and come back later.
So this was my 1st outing to buy a bra-I also wound up getting a waist cincher but I will take that back too.
Later,
Randi
Oh Randi! You've got balls girl! I hope you can learn to laugh at the funny parts of experiences like this. And I hope you are proud of yourself for going and accomplishing what you have.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Hey Kristi!!! It's good to hear from you as always. I wish you could have been there with me. I guess as long as I am able to laugh at myself I must be doing pretty good, Yes? My therapist says I have a good frame to work with and should be pretty when I am made up. I felt so good when she told me that I almost cried. I long for the day when I can see me in the mirror looking like the woman I see in my mind's eye every day. Before, I really had no idea how great that idea could make me feel-but I feel it now! and won't ever turn back. God Bless Us Every One!
Sorry, I didn't mean to get so emotional but I feel so free today. Maybe my estrogen level is high today because I am just so happy I want to shout it from the rooftop-I am a woman and I am HAPPY about it!!!!
Love,
Randi :-*
Quote from: Kristi on November 06, 2009, 09:07:41 AM
Oh Randi! You've got balls girl!
Not exactly the choice of words I would have used, Kristi, but I agree. That was a gutsy thing to do, Randi. I must confess that while I've bought outerwear in the store, I've never bought a bra in one. My first bra came from the Vicky's Secrets catalog and was too small, but I made it fit with a bit of stitch work. Once I learned I could wear a 36A OK, mail order shopping was easy, though sizes do vary even so.
Lyric
Quote from: Randi on November 06, 2009, 09:28:48 AM
Sorry, I didn't mean to get so emotional but I feel so free today. Maybe my estrogen level is high today because I am just so happy I want to shout it from the rooftop-I am a woman and I am HAPPY about it!!!!
Love,
Randi :-*
I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!!!
Great progress, Randi! It gets easier with every step.
Congratulations!
-Sandy
I just went out to Macy's and got a miracle suit that came up to my chest and while it felt great lower down, it gave me the most hideous set of 'back titties' I have ever seen on someone my size and wouldn't seem to stay up. Needless to say that thing will go right back to the store! I guess I'll get back into shape the old fashioned way just so I'll never have to see that again LOL. Quick fixes rarely give us what we want and I know it.
Hi Sandy, At the very least I got over my fear of shopping in the ladies section and I am still laughing at myself-you would have too if you had been there. I'll just have to be patient and shape up. ;)
Trying on bras at the store? A lot of women, if not most, don't do that either, which is part of the reason a lot of women have ill-fitting bras. Though swimwear is different -- you have to see how it looks.
The last time I was at VS, they told me they'd give me a discount on a new line of bras if they could take my measurements and I tried it on at the store. I declined the offer. One of these days I'll get measured, I guess, but I'll wait until my breasts decide upon a size; 36A works well enough for now. It's not as though I have gigantic knockers tugging at my chest with each step.
I just saw your location in your profile. My condolences -- it's not the most trans-positive place in the world. But at least outside of the intimates section, I stand by the "Where can I try this on?" tack, rather than "Might you grant this poor wretched ->-bleeped-<- access to the forbidden regions of the women's changing room?" And seriously consider taking a friend.
Quote from: Alyssa M. on November 01, 2009, 11:07:16 PM
...and don't even think about buying a dress you haven't triend on. That's just dumb.
I don't know, I buy all my dresses online (at this point everything), and 99% of the time they look great. The only problems I have had have been buying some things from Target where the dress is just way too large. Maybe I'm just lucky? :)
The first time I went to the intimates section as myself, I felt comfort being there. I belonged there. Other women didn't look at me funny or anything like that. It was a revelation.
I remember when I went to by my very first set of panties when in drab (I didn't dare try to buy a bra!) I was shaking like a leaf! My head was spinning like a radar antenna trying to see if the other women were watching me, thinking that I was some sort of pervert trying to feel the ladies undies.
I went through checkout with a bunch of other things to camouflage it and I thought the checkout lady would find the panties and call the police or something. Fortunately she just scanned it and kept going. I thought I was going to faint!
It's interesting that we, who are so driven to change, traumatize ourselves in these simple life experiences.
Yeah, I look back at these episodes (and some where I did get tagged!) and grin at the terrified little girl trying to give birth to herself. But she could do nothing else. Birth is inevitable. Breathing the air of freedom is intoxicating and nothing can send you back to where you were.
Had I been there I'm sure we would have had a good laugh over it!
-Sandy
Alyssa, If someone said they would measure me and give a discount I would be all over it-I'm all about saving a dollar here or one there. I want one bra for my own comfort zone and another for covering up the details for everybody else. My breasts aren't large but I feel them bouncing more and more. I kind of like it sometimes. Condolences recieved and acknowledged-I would love to have someone to go places shopping with but don't know anyone here that might be interested.
I heard about a support group here but you have to pay dues to belong so I will remain by myself for a while longer. It's enough for me right now to go see my therapist and talk here at Susan's. My friends (2) are gone (deceased) several years now and this adds to my distress. This is one reason that I am so thankful for all of you here-I feel that I belong here and you understand the lonliness that I feel when I am weak. Sorry I'm getting emotional again.
I am afraid that I am learning how addictive and FUN clothes shopping can really be. I have researched the topic to death and figured if I wanted to learn sizes (and how inconsistent they can be) I would just have to get a grip on my fear and look in the stores. I have also enjoyed watching peoples reactions to my presence-most people are so uptight. Hey wait-I resemble that remark!!!
Yes Sandy, we would have been rolling with laughter-I still have to laugh thinking about it-it was priceless. :)
Oh, dear, I'm sorry about your situation. That sounds just awful! I could never have begun my transition without the support of a community around me, which took me a long time to find since I was always so shy and awkward -- in large part because I'm trans. It's a nasty catch-22. I hope you can find the support and strength you need.
As for VS -- well, the bra they were promoting was expensive even after the discount and anyway the style was not one that would have <ahem> flattered my figure <notmuchpaddingcoughcough>, so it wasn't much of a temptation.
Thanks Alyssa, I completely understand about things that DONT flatter our figures. That's why I get frustrated in stores because they don't yet cater to everybody-only specific segments of society. I'm sure they structure their dressing room use by demand and how many people like us do most of them see every day-very few I would guess. So we are such a small segment of the market that it doesn't yet pay for them to set the space aside for us.
Oh yes, I am thoroughly enjoying my time shopping now that I have gotten past my fear of doing it in male attire.
Randi :)
Great news Randi,
Isn't funny how at every challenge we are SOOO scared; go through with it and feel great. There is no stopping us. I think, and I apologise straight away if this upsets anyone, that a 'proof' of our true gender is the drive to go out and be our normal gender in face of our fears; nothing can stop us in the end, we have to be true to our nature, shivering and screaming inside :laugh: :laugh:.
I love shopping as Cindy, even if I don't buy, I love looking and trying. Don't get me started on shoes :laugh: :laugh:.
I remember the night when a GG friend called and said she was having Christmas drinks that evening and did I want to come over. When I told her I would but only as Cindy, she was dumbfounded. I was terrified. A great night about 20 plus people met their first TG person and were so nice I felt I blended straight in.
I know this is of no use in the USA but Innerwear, a discount intimate clothes warehouse in Adelaide, wrote to a TG group I was a member of and just said if anyone wants fittings just ask their consultants. I tried them and great, no red faces, just professional attention. I was taken around the shop and shown bras my size, all in front of other customers, I was in drab, I've now been there as normal and no one has said boo. The funniest thing is the guys who wait nervously at the counter or even outside the shop as their girl friends/ wives etc shop. What is it about guys catching girl germs?
Anyhow.
Hugs Randi, and to everyone else
Cindy (36C)
Post Merge: November 07, 2009, 02:09:52 AM
Alyssa,
I did get a laugh when I asked in the changing room "Does my bum look small in this"
:laugh: :laugh:
Cindy
I went shopping yesterday after work, bought a cute black racerback top, some leggings a 3-pack of panties and some trousers. Got the size right on them all except the trousers, long enough but way to baggy lol. Bloody terrifying experience bt i went somewhere where i was unlikely to meet anyone i knew so i wasnt constantly looking over my shoulder. The biggest issue the trip brought up was my lack of closet space, my girly corner is getting a bit too tall to be hidden and i dont really feel ready to start dressing outside of my room. oh well lol!
I really want to buy some dresses/skirts but they didnt have any that i liked so im gonna have to find another store where i wont see anyone i know with a better selection
El, I have the same problem with closet space. I guess it is time to get rid of the male attire. The skirts and dresses are not going.
Cindy, Now what about the shoes? Can any of us pass a shoe store or the shoe Dept. without at least browsing?
Quote from: Genevieve Swann on November 12, 2009, 02:29:51 PM
Can any of us pass a shoe store or the shoe Dept. without at least browsing?
I don't wanna talk about it.
My closet has my man-stuff on one side, and my woman-stuff on the other. The main reason is that I use the man-stuff more often so it's on the easier to reach side (the woman side is partially blocked by my digital piano). But, there's just too much empty space on the woman side. These BLEEPing things like food and shelter keeping taking my clothing money!
Only thing I can say is, go with friends. Friends make a big difference in your confidence. When ever I shop I always go with friends, because if anyone says anything, you have a friend with you to come to your defense.
I've bought clothes, panties, bras, ect, dressed as a guy. Lol I went to the mall the other day with a friend and we went into Victoria's secret and there was a deal 5 for 25, so I got five pairs, and when I went up to the register I heard, hey your so and so's brother right? I'm like umm yeah...and I reslized she's the girl my brother tried dating *they are good friends still* That was a bit awkward considering she lives like a block down from me. She just assumed it was for my friend I was with, thought she was my GF. So that's another plus about taking a female friend, most people assume its for her :P
On week-ends, I dress in androgyne clothing (actually women's trousers etc). Partly because I still have that pesky male face (FFS scheduled for next spring) and because male clothes do not fit anymore.
As for other people having a second look at me when I shop for, say underwear (my underwear has been of the female kind since the beginning of my transition), it happened once or twice that they told me these were for women, and I just answered "well, it's my size, and I'm not a man". They are sur not going to check my genitalia after all, and I just tell the truth.
Quote from: Genevieve Swann on November 12, 2009, 02:29:51 PM
El, I have the same problem with closet space. I guess it is time to get rid of the male attire. The skirts and dresses are not going.
Cindy, Now what about the shoes? Can any of us pass a shoe store or the shoe Dept. without at least browsing?
Hi Genevive,
How are you Honey. What is it about shoes? I can go to a store and look at clothes, undies etc but it's a sort of ingrained "Oh is there anything new" type look, unless I'm looking for a purpose. But shoes >:-) How and why are shoes, and handbags just so buy able. :laugh: :laugh:
I can imagine prehistoric humans. Him, Well I've just invented the wheel, it's going to revolutionize the species. Her, I've just invented shoes, you haven't a clue how big that's going to be.
:laugh: :laugh:
Cindy
lol you know he wouldnt have invented it if his lady hadnt nagged him too anyway
Quote from: El on November 13, 2009, 07:44:21 AM
lol you know he wouldnt have invented it if his lady hadnt nagged him too anyway
So true El and guess what, they are still out in the yard fiddling with the thing on wheels, which hasn't changed shape. And we have new shoe designs in the shops to get.
:laugh:
Cindy
I've bought things for myself many, many times. I never really worried about shopping. I've bought presents for my wife many times and often clerks just assume you are buying clothing for someone else.
Once I decided to try something on, the first dozen times I was scared to death, but now I've learned that the sales clerks don't care, they get their commission regardless of who is buying. I just try to be pleasant and courteous. Generally I try to shop in women's stores instead of department stores, if I want to try things on. I'll just ask politely if it would be possible for me to try these items on, and I've never been refused. I used to try to shop on weekdays, but now I'll shop anytime.
Most of the clerks have been very helpful, and some seem to really enjoy helping a guy shop for themself. And all the other customers don't really notice you. And if they do... so what.
I've gotten so that I just love shopping for myself, and I've got more women's clothing than men's, even though I've never been out in public presenting as female. I know it's scary, but it's really worth it.
Veronica
The phone trick sounds good. I have carried a shopping list as cover, like I am buying for someone else. Then realised that people really aren't watching me like a hawk anyway! Once I worked out sizes, it's quite easy.
Quote from: justmeinoz on November 21, 2009, 10:51:42 PM
Then realised that people really aren't watching me like a hawk anyway!
Yes that's the main thing. We have this silly notion that the world revolves around us. Just go your way and do your thing and you will be fine.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
If you're more concerned about "budding" than anything else have you considered using daisys?
http://www.galapagosboutique.com/Nipple-Covers-s/157.htm (http://www.galapagosboutique.com/Nipple-Covers-s/157.htm)
One size (hopefully) fits all :)
Quote from: Randi on October 30, 2009, 09:42:57 AM
How many (if any) of you buy female clothing for yourself while dressed as male? I have bought panties. socks, tops, or jeans but before long I am going to need a bra if for no other reason than to hide my nips which are now clearly visible in most of the shirts I wear. Have any of you bought bras while dressed as male? While I usually have not recieved much attention from other women while shopping, there have been one or tow who looked at me like I was crazy for even being there. Maybe their insecurities were showing that day. I need to go look for a bra but am feeling a bit insecure myself today.
Randi :)
I always say that I am shopping for my girlfriend! ;) When I go, I make sure I have an idea measurement wise, and I generally get a store employee to help me out (sort of) with picking the clothes. Never have I had any questions from anyone, but only comments of 'that's a cute thing to do'.
I always say that I am shopping for my girlfriend! When I go, I make sure I have an idea measurement wise
I have a pretty good idea they know dear. Anyone in fashion retail, who is good and has been at it for a bit, can look at people and tell what size they are. You give her those sizes and measurements and her first thought is - well how interesting, those are your exact sizes too. But salespersons want to make sales. That's the bottom line.
Quote from: tekla on December 08, 2009, 01:19:25 PM
I always say that I am shopping for my girlfriend! When I go, I make sure I have an idea measurement wise
I have a pretty good idea they know dear. Anyone in fashion retail, who is good and has been at it for a bit, can look at people and tell what size they are. You give her those sizes and measurements and her first thought is - well how interesting, those are your exact sizes too. But salespersons want to make sales. That's the bottom line.
I have thought about it, and you're more than likely right. I rarely believed they knew, and other times, I'm not sure. Oh well, go figure.
That's just one of those social courtesies. It's a rule of etiquette that one should not dispute the narrative a person presents about themself without a very good reason.
I work in a different sector of the retail world, but I can vouch for the fact that sales people are not paying a lot of attention to you.
Still, knowing this, I'm still scared of going into a store (major department store or boutique) and buying clothing! :P There's a lot of good advice in this thread ... I'll give it a shot!
Some major department stores like Macy's and Nordstrom's have policies in effect that work against discrimination. Someone in accounting must have sent out a memo saying that the money is the same no matter who is buying it. I know that for years here after the big strike at Macy's when so many girls went by and expressed solidarity, or brought their favorite sales girls coffee while they were walking the line really helped. Smaller boutiques - of course I'm in SF here, but still - have a great attitude, they tend to staffed by people a little more hip, and they need the money even more.
Quote from: Melan on October 30, 2009, 10:23:06 PM
...One tip might be to get fashion magazines. Don't look at the runway pictures, that's 'clown' stuff, but the other content is great. There are plenty of tips on styles, makeup, skin care, etc .. and just looking through the magazines will help you develop a better sense of different fashions and looks...
Also, it may be helpful to request some paper catalogs from some popular apparel companies such as Spiegal, Chadwicks, Metrostyle, ect. All big apparel companies have a site where you can sign up for a free catalog. Basically what you see in those is what women are wearing. This has been a big help for me over the past couple years in developing a sense of style.
It has been a while since I posted here but I haven't been shopping much lately. This morning I went to Macy's and bought a push up bra. I didn't get afraid or feel uncomfortable at all. The lady there was great and showed me several styles to choose from. I chose the Maidenform smooth push up-it fits me perfectly & I love the little bit of extra volume it gives me!!! It's not so much that it looks out of place but is just enough that I can wear it at work and not worry that it is too much too soon for everybody else. I am very happy with my first bra purchase.
Randi :)
Huge step, Randi! Congratulations!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Macy's has always been pretty open, perhaps because it's Flagship Stores are in NYC and SF, perhaps because someone in their head office found out that money is money no matter where it comes from, either way.
Congratulations, girl!
Thanks all! I was in a discount store this morning and figured while I was there I would just look around in the womens section and found another very nice bra with a bit less padding than the first one. I am turning into a shop-a-holic! I had to go outside for a bit today and was pleasantly surprised that my chest stayed warm whereas before it always got cold first.
For my next adventure, I am going to buy some makeup for under my eyes and some days my skin is a mess from shaving so I want to wear makeup to cover it. And a trip to get my ears done is still in the works.
My mother made a comment the other day (no she doesn't know or at least I haven't discussed being mtf with her) about how I am wearing my hair now. She said she didn't know what I am doing different with it now but it really looks good on me-PRICELESS!
Randi :)
Talk to someone at a cosmetic counter or at MAC or some place like that and find out what shade works best for you, it will save you a lot of money in the short run.
I went back to work today and put on my new bra-I wore it the rest of the day. It doesn't have quite as much pad as the other one so it will work better for work unless I will be out wearing my heavy coats. I can't remember when I have felt so relaxed as I felt today. I wondered if any of you got any strange reactions from coworkers when you wore one all day for the first time. For the most part nobody acted like they cared. A couple of girls who are pretty sharp and friendly to me checked me out closely and went on. Another is lesbian and she got a good look. I find her very attractive and she is hot. I wonder if she already knows I am a lesbian too? One thing I love is my nips don't show. I wore it in a brief meeting with my manager and she didn't notice it and she always checks out if my nips are visible-they are getting a bit larger. Do all girls feel this happy when they finally get their first bras?
Quote from: Randi on January 08, 2010, 07:47:36 PM
Do all girls feel this happy when they finally get their first bras?
While I had a good feeling with my first bras, I actually had more of a feeling of satisfaction when I *wore out* my first bra. It meant that I was so active in my chosen life that it had an effect on the clothes I wore.
-Sandy
Quote from: Randi on January 08, 2010, 07:47:36 PMDo all girls feel this happy when they finally get their first bras?
I am not quite sure whether people count me as a girl, but I was a little bit happy when I got my first ones (it was stapless ones 34A). I was most excited and happy when I first wore high heels that my wife purchased for me.
Barbie~~
Hi Sandy, Yes I can see how that would boost your spirits. I have noticed of late that I notice colors more vividly and more color in my dreams-especially in the difference in hues of a similar color. Perhaps that will help when I start using makeup.
Barbie, I consider you to be a girl. One of mine I can wear without the straps on and it doesnt wander-at least it didn't while I had it on that way. I love your avatar pics, I hope to be that slim again -someday -somehow -maybe? I have been neglectful of my workout time for the past year or so-devoting more time to guitar practice. My waistline has suffered the most-or at times my neighbors depending upon which amp I am playing thru.
Randi :)
It's interesting to read the range of experiences and reactions to this issue that is a definite part of the tg/cd experience across the board.
So adding to the above--like some of y'all, I just go en male and buy anything, including bras (knowing size), dresses, blouses. If I'm shopping in 2nd hand stores I bring a cloth tape measure to measure if the size labels are missing
Yes, now and then I feel self-conscious--and once in a while someone, a woman, may give me a raised eyebrow lookover--but when that happens I remind myself that what I buy is my business and I'll feel better holding my ground, buying what I want and not cave in to pressure to conform to gender roles. That attitude opens up a whole world of fun. Shopping IS FUN [for girly things, not for anything else] and always a mood lifter.
If this sounds like self-inflation so be it--I wimp out on lots of other things!
But a few months ago in JC Penny's I was looking over some dresses on a rack when a woman shopper walked by and without stopping said 'Are you sure that's your size?' But that felt more humorous than embarrassing and a little embarrassment can also make your day :o
Quote from: Chrissty on October 30, 2009, 06:01:30 PM
If you want a silly confidence tip that works for virtually everything including make-up.....
CARRY A MOBILE PHONE ! :icon_wink:
Just hold it to your ear and walk around looking bored, when you find something you like stop and say...
"yes dear found it...what shade was the shade/size...hold on a minute...yep they have that..." ;D
..holding the phone does become a bit of a bind, but usually by then you have what you want ... ;)
..same thing applies at the checkout if you are still nervous.. :icon_nervious:
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
IMPORTANT NOTE:
turn it
OFF before doing this, because it ruins the moment if it rings while your asking "did you want the frilly one?" :P
but yeah, this is a great idea ^.^
Quote from: sobesemail on January 18, 2010, 02:58:01 PM
IMPORTANT NOTE:
turn it OFF before doing this, because it ruins the moment if it rings while your asking "did you want the frilly one?" :P
but yeah, this is a great idea ^.^
Hmmm, good point.
Most items (such as tops or pants) I managed to get my own size with some personal measuring tape; I figured from my measurements that I would be about a 36A for a bra, but before I bought one I thought I should be sure, so I went to JC Penny in male mode and asked for a sizing. The woman there was very kind and quick about it, with no real negative comment or anything and actually made me feel a lot more comfortable (I ended up being a 34A). So I ended up buying my first proper bra there (mind you, I already have worn women's jeans for several months as well as women's T-shirts under my button-downs, so I already had those sizes :P).
As for actual fashion, I generally bring one of my friends along (I call him my fashion adviser) or go to the local Plato's Closet. For those of you who don't know what Plato's Closet is, it is basically a Goodwill for clothes from name brands like American Eagle, Aeropostale, Hollister, Guess, and other more upbeat teen-based clothing.
If you tend to be nervous or get in the mindset that things will turn out so much worse than they actually might, bring your phone along and have some actual conversations with your friends BEFORE you even go in; for me it helped shake off some anxiety and keep my stress levels low, even if we just talked about video games and the like. Also get in the mentality that you know what you are going for and make it a 'mission,' I ended up planning my first purchases days ahead so I could get myself prepared to go out and buy them, and remember that once you get sized, you can always buy online ;D
reminds me of the time when i went to buy a sports bra while dressed male. i was almost sneaking at the store...part of me just wanted to grab a random one and go but i also didn't want to blow my money so rash. then this salesgirl came up and asked if i need help taking measurements, and i was like hell no i'm just trying to find a b cup...she looked at my chest and said i think it's better if we take measurements...i was so embarassed to tell her i was wearing binder which is the reason i'm there to buy a sports bra in the first place ;D
I've gotten over those hang ups a while back. On saturday I had left the gym so was in drab (and sweaty yuk) gear. I wanted a blouse for going out that night. Went to a shop and saw just the blouse. Manageress asked me if it was for someone and I said yes Me. She recovered really quite quickly. Oh Oh, well it's my favourite colour as well, do you want some jewellry to go with it. Why not open a loyalty account and we will send you specials by email.
No hassle at all. Money is money.
A year ago? No way :laugh:
Cindy
oh goddess yes i've done it all the time of course i get stared at but i really don't pay anyone no mind, through truth is i used to get so embaresed about it but not anymore (giggle) through the real test will be getting a one piece bikini now that will be a pain in the arse (and not the good kind either)
If you manage to get a "one piece bikini," I will be mightily impressed, indeed!
i will or i'll try to at least 'sides here only target has their bikinis out yet not the regular places , or were you being sarcastic?
Ask and you shall receive. Only $68 at Victoria's Secret this spring.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/14/victorias-secrets-topless_n_423117.html (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/14/victorias-secrets-topless_n_423117.html)
Quote from: tekla on January 20, 2010, 01:52:21 AM
Ask and you shall receive. Only $68 at Victoria's Secret this spring.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/14/victorias-secrets-topless_n_423117.html (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/14/victorias-secrets-topless_n_423117.html)
I would, but my hair isn't long enough...
-Sandy
Quote from: Sandy on January 20, 2010, 05:48:06 AM
I would, but my hair isn't long enough...
-Sandy
As good a reason as I've seen to get extensions.
You might buy some with the $60 you'd save by skipping that suit and just getting a cheap suit bottom.
Quote from: Lyric on January 20, 2010, 11:25:20 AM
As good a reason as I've seen to get extensions.
You might buy some with the $60 you'd save by skipping that suit and just getting a cheap suit bottom.
Yeah! And all the boys just wishing for a breeze...
*sigh*
-Sandy
I think I'll pass, Kat. If I want to purchase an oxymoron, I'll just go for some jumbo shrimp. ;)
Though it does seem in line with the VS motto of less coverage for more money.
You girls should look at the Bra-llelujah bra by Spanx. It the most comfortable bra ever, also the most concealable bra ever.
http://www.spanx.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2990082&cp=2992555.3010052&parentPage=family (http://www.spanx.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2990082&cp=2992555.3010052&parentPage=family)
Hey Thanks BQ! This does look good. I just hate it when my bra straps dig in and squeeze some of my Extra Poundage out and make it bulge against my shirts.
Randi ;)
And don't forget, Mother's Day is coming up here in the states. A great time if you want to shop for women's clothes without arousing any suspicion at all.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Quote from: Kristi on May 06, 2010, 10:28:50 AM
And don't forget, Mother's Day is coming up here in the states. A great time if you want to shop for women's clothes without arousing any suspicion at all.
Very clever.
Quote from: Alyssa M. on January 20, 2010, 06:53:30 PM
I think I'll pass, Kat. If I want to purchase an oxymoron, I'll just go for some jumbo shrimp. ;)
Or maybe Microsoft Works ;D
Buying female clothing??! 8D Count me in! I love to shop for girls clothes, I often find something cute and pink/white, here in the UK we have this awesome shop called Primark that sells loads of cheap clothing, its always busy in there!
Recently, I've been buying myself short shorts because I love how they look on me :) And also some packs of bikini briefs, however, it is kinda awkward to be looking around the lingerie part.. :( I dun like the funny looks I get :(
My how I have changed since I started this thread. I go shopping now and don't even give the other people a second thought. Yesterday I bought a new pair of jeans and some new panties and was just another shopper. I love getting called Mam and now that my hair is getting longer it happens all the time ;D Now if I can get the motivation to get my ears done.
Randi
Since I am male, this is the only way I can shop in person!
As it is, the only "female" clothing I've taken a strong interest in is dresses, so this has probably avoided some dirty looks certain people shopping for panties and bras would get. I typically try clothes on at the store, although I tend to grab a "male" item or two that I am interested in -- partly I like the cover, but mainly because I genuinely want to shop for all my options at once. I still occasionally look over my shoulder, but the simple matter is that an overwhelming majority of shoppers are too preoccupied with their own shopping to take notice or care what I am up to... and to date, only people working in the stores have ever approached me.
Never done it in person, I've ordered clothes online and I've had my female friend buy some for me. I just keep imagining how awkward it would be :/
Before my first shopping trip, I was really worried and people assured me that folks would just think that I was buying things for a g/f, this was really not the case as I think that just about everyone who served me (and it was quite a few people as I bought loads of things that day) knew exactly who the clothes were for as I lost count of the amount of 'Good for you!' looks I got from the women in the shops (I must not look like the g/f having type! :laugh:) The only bit of negativity that I got that day was the last thing that I bought (shoes) and coincidentally the only time that I went into an exclusively female shop. I think that the women in there may have thought that I was invading their territory somewhat. Oh well, they were great shoes ;D
Quote from: Rhalkos on May 06, 2010, 05:07:39 PM
Unless it's sexy lingerie. Then you'll arouse suspicion of a different sort.
"Oh no, these aren't for my wife, they're for my mom."
Men often buy stuff for their wives on Mother's Day. It's for
all mothers, not just
your mother :).
I had a pretty good experience buying my first set of clothes in the girls section, I even held shirts up to me to see how they would look. People looked at me funny just glancingly, I don't think they really cared. I went to the mall and some other clothes places :) Haha and I even went into the womens changing room to try stuff on, no one said anything! Got a cute top and a pair of skinny jeans, I'm pretty happy about facing my fears. Now I need to get some makeup *scared again*
Oh yeah I probably should have... it was slow and there was like no one around though, I don't even think there were any customers besides me lol. Now I feel bad though.. I probably shouldn't have :S
Last summer, I purchased women's pants in a department store. As I was not quite sure about the size, I used the fitting room there. It was a single room. The pants were too small for my body, and then the lady there passed me a little bit bigger ones to me over the door. She asked whether the size is OK, and I replied yes.
I choose them, and she said goodbye to me by saying like "you wear them prettily" despite my unusual height, already exaggerated by high heel sandals, ever to look like a pretty woman. She was certainly a good seller.
Barbie~~
Quote from: lightvi on May 06, 2010, 11:32:25 PM
Oh yeah I probably should have... it was slow and there was like no one around though, I don't even think there were any customers besides me lol. Now I feel bad though.. I probably shouldn't have :S
Don't go feeling bad about it. An attendent is usually right there. If one wasn't they obviously weren't worried about it. If there was, I'm sure you would have conversed with the attendent.
Where I shop at, I have developed a good relationship with the salespeople. Initially, I entered the store and began buying for someone else, but after a while I grew tired of the whole "I'm buying for my girlfriend routine," so I began to take more time browsing. Eventually, one of the salespeople noticed and asked me if it was for me. I tried to be discreet in answering. She noticed my facial expressions and began showing me something I might be interested in. From then on, she and her co-workers knew who I was shopping for. Over time, I have gotten to know them by their first name, and we both treat each other politely and with respect.
At one outlet of the same store, a girl there actually took me all over the store comparing clothes to my body. Luckily, I was the only customer in the store. It was a fun experience. Of course, I was a little nervous.
What I usually do before I go shopping is take a look online to see what the store might have. I look for items that might have gone on sale and new items that catch my attention. Once I am at the store, I browse around and chat with the salespeople to ask what is new in the store. (I believe that, if you are the first to open a dialog, the salespeople will more likely be friendly and helpful towards you.) If it is not too busy, I try to get one of the sales people to show me a few items, just so that I don't feel so alone in the store. I do let them share their opinions to give me more to work with. I also keep in mind what I like and what tends to work well with my body type. (Sometimes, what I like doesn't work for my body type.) Most importantly, I try to have as much fun in the store as possible without drawing too much attention. After all, I buying for myself.
This approach has worked well in the stores I have shopped. I have purchased shirts, jeans, skirts, dress, and lingerie. For me, the main thing is not to draw too much attention while being confident consumer. :)
Just once did I shop for female clothes as a man, and I hated it, because I felt out of place. After that, I decided I needed the confidence to shop as a woman, and so went out on my first expedition. After two hours in the car in the parking lot of the store I had picked for the experiment, I was still to scared to leave the car, so I drove off, but before reaching the end of the parking lot, I was so angry at myself for failing, that I turned the car around, parked again, got out, got into the shop, and noticed noone was looking at me. Then I felt very stupid :-)
Since then my confidence has only increased (and I don't pass well at all).
Go for it and you'll be very happy with yourself!
Love,
Marleen
to all who were saying that you got looks while shopping or that salespeople 'knew': this can be embarrassing but if you learn to look at it in the right way it's actually kind of a rush or minor thrill. Like the other day in CVS I bought mascara, lipliner and eyelashes--just that. A kind of girlygirl salesgirl looked at me and started making a statement 'Your wife or girlfriend should like these..." but then looked at me again and said "Or..." but just left off, with "or," meaning she figured it out. That made me smile
I'm gaining a little more confidence in this regard. I grabbed a skirt suit at a local Goodwill and went straight to the men's dressing rooms with it. But, the damned thing didn't fit. I figured that would be the case when I measured the skirt (I keep a small tape measure with me when clothes shopping, especially at second hand stores where size tags are sometimes missing). The skirt was only 15 inches across while on the hanger, and I need things 18 inches (17 if I'm lucky) across while on the hanger.
Here is some Goodwill Fashion power for you. Take the skirt and hold it up so it's flat, then take the waistband and try to put it around your neck. If the two ends touch it should fit.
Quote from: tekla on May 20, 2010, 02:24:59 PM
Here is some Goodwill Fashion power for you. Take the skirt and hold it up so it's flat, then take the waistband and try to put it around your neck. If the two ends touch it should fit.
That's brilliant! I've measured my neck before for buying men's dress shirts. I didn't make the connection, but my waist is double my neck!
DaVinci and that whole Golden Ratio related to Fibonacci sequence number deal.
I have always found that incredibly suspect. Not the relationship of \phi and f_{n+1}/f_{n} -- that's built-in to the standard definition of the sequence, and perhaps a little introductory real analysis. But how that relates to the physical world. Sure, you see it in spirals -- okay, that ratio probably tends to be more efficient or stable or whatever when you grow spiral things, be they seeds or shells or whatever. But in any bilaterally symmetric organisms, it doesn't really work any better than, say, the square root of two (about 1.41) or pi/2 (about 1.57). It strikes me just an idee fixe of DaVinci, kind of like Newton and the number seven, which led to the irritating and completely counter-intuitive introduction of "indigo."
Yeah, but it works in Goodwill.
My mtf girlfriend and I always shop together, so whenever she's dressed as a man (which is most of the time this early in transition) she picks out the clothes and I try them on. We have the same body type so it's easier for her to see how it would look on her. This has been pretty successful so far. I think shopping with girl friends is helpful in terms of them helping you out to figure what looks good on you (heck, most cis gendered girls do this), and if they're your size it might be helpful for them to try on the clothes for you (you in the general sense) if you're not too comfortable with it.
I love shopping in thrift stores for my girlie clothes. Same for my male stuff. They're the only places I shop. Only a few comments and sideways glances. Yes, I believe the cashiers know what I'm doing. One in particular always compliments what I've chosen and says she wishes she'd seen something first. I do get the occasional glare from women who feel I've invaded their space, or are disgusted with the idea of what I'm doing, but screw them. They're the same kind of people who were disgusted with me when I was a longhair hippie back in the old days, and I used to love it when they hated me.
Although my daughter is now grown up, I raised her myself from infancy, and I was always shopping for her clothes, even when she was past the "children's section" sizes. Yes, I got sideways glances back then, and I was legitimately shopping for my daughter. Although it's never happened, if I was ever to run into someone I know, my plan is to say my daughter loves the hippie look and is always thrilled when I find some peasant blouses for her (the hippie chick look is mostly what I look for) Of course, this doesn't work if I find a pair of stripper heels or something else which doesn't exactly say "hippie", but who really cares anyway?
I am addicted to thrift store girlie clothes shopping. It's my favorite thing to do on my days off.
Quote from: DeniseK on May 29, 2010, 06:11:29 AM
They're the same kind of people who were disgusted with me when I was a longhair hippie back in the old days, and I used to love it when they hated me.
Might explain why my parents took it so well when I told them... Hippies are win ;D