Ok so...I just recently bought this book about transsexuality called "True Selves". It says on the front of the page that the book is mostly for people who are trying to understand more about ->-bleeped-<- to read. I bought this book to read myself, mostly. But I got to thinking...On the front of the book it says that it's for "families" to read too. I've been thinking that maybe my mom should read this. I asked her if maybe she would read it with me and she said she would but..who knows. Sometimes she says things that she forgets later so I don't know. I skimmed through the book and there's parts of the book that explain how being transgender isn't the same as being gay (which is what my mom thinks), and more things. I'm really thinking of asking her again to maybe consider reading this or at least some of it. Uhm..Has anyone else read this book or heard anything about it? Do you think I should ask my mom to read some of it? I'm afraid that if she reads it it will only make her more angry with my gender situation...I dunno..Any thoughts?
I still think that despite any criticisms that this is the best book as an introduction for a general audience.
True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism: For Families, Friends, Coworkers, and Helping Professionals
(1996) - Mildred L. Brown * Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/dp/0787967025) * WorldCat (http://www.worldcat.org/oclc/51437864)
Get your mother to read the whole thing.
Ok. I'll try to get her to read it. Hopefully she will..My mom once ranted about ->-bleeped-<- to me a while back and said "Just because you think you're a man in your mind doesn't make you a man"...that hurt. Hopefully this book will give her some information
Hi all, I have just finished the book and will re-read it a few more times. I found it to be the best i have come across so far, as it is not full of psychological terms that are hard to follow.
I feel it may help me to work out where I fit in the TG spectrum, as I am still unsure just how "trans" I am.
The variety of cases covered shows that there are similarities, but no two people are identical.
I would definitely be leaving it on the coffee table for the family to look at.
When I come out to some one I let them borrow this book. Currently my parents have my copy. (Wow that was a fun day.)
It is probably the best overview for someone who knows nothing about he subject. Not all of the chapters apply to my situation, but it still the best summary of the subject.
I've just started the book. The chapter on childhood fits my experience so closely it was eerie. Just from that one chapter I was tempted to buy a dozen copies and give them to my family and friends. I'll read the rest of the book, but I think I'll definitely take a copy to my sister's when I visit at Christmas.
I've read a lot of books about being TG and TS. So far this is the best I've seen.
- Kate
I've been sort of on the fence about it- I thought I might get my mom to read it but I read some pretty negative reviews on it over at Amazon so I've put it off. I think I'll buy it anyway as it's only $12.89 there at the moment and I can judge for myself if I want to give it to my family or not.
I had read a lot about this book on these forums, so I bought a copy and read it.
While I identify as androgyne, there was still quite a bit of material in the book that seemed to apply to me.
Of course, our personal situations all vary, and maybe not everything in the book applies to every one of us, but I thought it was a pretty good book overall, and explained TS/TG in easy to read terms. If you want someone to understand TS/TG, give them this book.
I've read the book a few times. So many of the stories are like a mirror of my life that it was almost spooky.
In my opinion it is one of the best introductions to the subject that I have found. It reveals just enough detail about the transsexual experience to be a good introduction to both the family as well as a person just starting out.
Also putting it in a familial setting helps defuse a lot of the issues that a family may have by saying that this is not an issue of being gay, this is not a choice, this is a debilitating medical condition that must be addressed.
It doesn't replace communication that must go on between a trans person and their family/friends/co-workers. But it can be a way to start these conversations effectively and without rancor.
I'd say follow up on it. Your mom may have conveniently "forgotten" about it hoping that you wouldn't bring the subject up again. This is one aspect of transition that you will have to be aware of. You must be the one who takes the effort in this. Most people would rather have problems just go away than have to deal with them directly. Don't necessarily throw it in her face, because that can be confrontational, but don't let it lie fallow either. It can be a delicate processes.
-Sandy
True Selves was mandatory reading for my administration, health care professionals and secretaries prior to my transition at school. While some of the science is a little outdated, it does give a good perspective of what it means to be transgendered.
I would have to give it my "thumbs up" if you wanted to give something to your family so they can hopefully understand.
Of course, you can also give them MY book, but that is a shameless plug for the link below! :icon_paper:
I not only got it and read it but when I shared it with my wife I highlighted the places that specifically applied to my/our situation so she wouldn't have to wade through a bunch of material that wasn't relevant to the issue with us.
I highly recommend it. I have to wonder why anyone would be more than passingly critical of it.
I consider this a must read for anyone wanting to have a better understanding on the subject. I've read it cover to cover and have re-read excerpts from it many times. Only the most closed minded would find it offensive.
Thank you for the review, ladies and gentleman. This week I found this book at a large second hand bookstore but did not buy it yet because I do not wish to waste time and energy on a book which might give me entirely incorrect ideas. I have been meaning to ask your opinions but this topic is clearly convincing enough to buy and read it.
Quote from: K8 on November 25, 2009, 07:06:11 PM
I've just started the book. The chapter on childhood fits my experience so closely it was eerie. Just from that one chapter I was tempted to buy a dozen copies and give them to my family and friends. I'll read the rest of the book, but I think I'll definitely take a copy to my sister's when I visit at Christmas.
I've read a lot of books about being TG and TS. So far this is the best I've seen.
- Kate
I did buy six more copies and gave them to family and friends. I know at least some of them read it. This is the best of all of the explanations of what it is to be TG and TS that I have read.
- Kate
I guess I can't go wrong if it is -that- good. Thank you! :laugh:
We just ordered that from Amazon this past weekend. I started reading it last night. :)
I bought the book last August, mainly for my wife to read, so we could have some basis for discussion, since I was finding it extremely difficult to verbalize what GID is all about, and I felt it might make it easier. I read it first, and was surprised and gratified to find that most of what was there mirrored my own experience in life. Since then, she has not read much of it, but lately (since I came out to the kids, thereby making it possible to discuss this in a family situation), she has apparently read more of it. Anyway, I found it a VERY worthwhile book.
Does this book come in other languages apart from English? I know some people (i.e. my mother being one of them) that cannot understand English very well or at all. It will be good if I could find a copy in their native language. Hopefully there are translations?
I actually just ordered this book on a whim it was sold at the same store as the packer I ordered. (My first one I might add. I'm quite excited. :P) It looked interesting and should arrive either tomorrow or the day after. I was hoping to find something for me and my family to read I'm glad my hunch was right on presuming it was a good and informative book.
So far ( I am on 1/3rd now) it is a very well written and understandable book, I wish I had it a few months earlier because it would have answered a lot of questions.
Rose had one remark about it that she didn't entirely agree on what was written on crossdressing on pages 12 and 13 on which she thinks too much focus is put on "sexual gratification" and "fetishism".
I found this book disappointing, outdated, and needlessly reductive. I suppose it's okay for people who know nothing about transsexualism, but since I am trans and know quite a bit about transsexualism, I was at times disgusted, exasperated, and even offended.
As I recall, it was focused almost exclusively on MTFs, too. And the heteronormative model. And it said some irritating and misleading things about depression and the path people tend to take in...gosh, I can't remember now, it was either the path people take to realize that they are trans or the path they take to decide to transition. Anyway, I had a problem with that aspect.
As I recall, I had issues with pronouns in this book, but that's a frequent problem in books on this topic, so I might have just been confused about the authors' motives--or maybe the pronouns really were inconsistent. I don't know; I would have to reread it.
If you buy the paperback version, do not be fooled by the fairly recent print date (I think it was about five years old when I read it, so that puts the date around 2002-2004). This book was originally published in the mid-nineties, and the paperback version is still the first edition and not a revised edition. The book is working with an outdated version of the SoC, although I don't really know what the differences are between the old version and the latest version. Personally, I think the book should have been fully revised for paperback release.
Anyway, True Selves is about fifteen years old, and that's pretty old in this field. But you can draw your own conclusions.
P.S. I prefer Reid Vanderburgh's book. It's called Transition and Beyond. It was out of print when I bought it a couple of years ago.
I stopped by my local library on my way home to check out whether they had this book. Turned out that they have/had but was permanantly borrowed by someone since 2006! I asked the librarian to order a new copy for me and I am looking forward to read it myself.
I read it probably close to 15 years ago, it was one of several books I tried to convince my mom to read - which she wanted nothing to do with. Having said that, don't expect the books to change hearts and minds, unless they're receptive to the idea to begin with its not going to radically change their opinions.
GID, to me, is like Diabetes, the disease is as unique as the individual, or rather each of travels our own path. No book is going to match with anyone particular person's journey. As others have said, its a good starting point, but its also rapidly becoming outdated.
I found some parts spot-on and others not so. (For me, pre-puberty was very close to my experience while the section on teenage years wasn't.) The book did seem to be almost entirely centered on MTF, so it may not be as helpful for those going the other direction. But I thought it a wonderful book for friends and family who don't know much (if anything) about being transgendered.
Many of the books I've read about being transgendered/transsexual were either too scientific with lots of psych talk or autobiographical. The latter often fall into the trap of "this is how I did it so it must be the best way". I found True Selves very readable and a good explanation for those who are curious but have no experience with being transgendered. Of course, they have to be receptive to learning about it. I also found it valuable to me for validating much (but not all) of my experience and feelings.
- Kate
Actually I read this book about two weeks ago, and while not every detail matches my own life experience, I find it more than good enough to recommend to anyone interested in the subject.
I bought and read this book. I did find it a bit basic for the average trans person, and like Arch said it was focused on MTF spectrum folk and "heteronormative". The book is written by a practicing gender therapist in middle class California and summarizes about 15 years of her observations (if I remember correctly). I imagine most of her clients were MTF spectrum and didn't push outside the typical bigendered spectrum (I often go to queer events and don't feel I am queer enough to fit in).
I thought the book reflected my experiences well and have bought 3 additional copies to give to family and friends to give them a good introduction on the trans world.
Jenna
Quote from: jennajane on November 16, 2010, 03:58:53 PM
I bought and read this book. I did find it a bit basic for the average trans person, and like Arch said it was focused on MTF spectrum folk and "heteronormative". The book is written by a practicing gender therapist in middle class California and summarizes about 15 years of her observations (if I remember correctly). I
Interesting observation about the middle class perspective. I see more of that bias lately with young, I mean pre-puberty, transitioners - they all seem to come from upper middle class backgrounds with fairly liberal parenting. What do the welfare kids do? What about cultural minorities? Really the same bias applies across the spectrum, I think its important to understand her background. I don't know how well people outside a white middle class upbringing can find parallels in this book.
This is the only book on the subject of ->-bleeped-<- that I have read from cover to cover. I read it when my gender issues had really started unraveling my life, which had prompted me to find out seriously how I could deal with this problem. Not too far into the book I remember thinking, "hm, well if that is what a transsexual is, then I guess I'm a transsexual." I mean so much of it was so dead on, it really blew my mind.
Considering how big of a step that little thought going through my head was in putting me on the right path and how close I came to giving up on life altogether just before starting HRT, well, let me just say I'm thankful I read it.
Even though a lot of the science and terminology used in the book is aged, I still think it would make for a really good "intro to transsexuality" for somebody that is interested in and open to learn about the topic. It is not for convincing anybody of anything and it is not for anybody that knows a lot about the subject either. I think some of the other criticisms, about it being reductive and heteronormative-mtf centric are probably also correct. I think people's remarks about it having a middle class bias probably have merit too, when I think about it. But, if you happen to be a middle class, heteronormative, mtf TS trying to figure out wtf is wrong with you, like I was, you may find it feels like it written just for you :).