What a whirlwind my mind is, but let me try to explain :)
I use the term transgendered to refer to myself. I'm pre op, pre hormonal MtF. I'm also straight. Well, I'm fairly sure. It's quite weird. I'm 24. Always been attracted to women. Let me elaborate on that point a little more. When I see a woman, I don't think 'my god, she's beautiful, I want to be with her', I think 'my god she's beautiful, I want to be her'.
So my whole life has been a kind of attraction to women, but not at all to men. So. Here we get into the fun stuff. In my head, when I see myself fully transitioned, or even just imagining myself as fully female now, I can see myself quite comfortable with a guy. Please explain this to me as it makes very little sense to me.
I love the thought of the intimacy and been seen so genuinely as a woman.
I really can't see this as a sexual thing, as I don't find guys attractive, but in my female mind I can see myself with one!
So please ladies and gentlemen, shed your light on this one. Experience has shown me that in life, I'm never the only one :)
Sarah.x
I can't speak for other M2F's but coming from an F2M view, I would see you as lesbian. If you can't imagine yourself with a guy now even tho you feel you are female....surgery may not remove that feeling. I would personally try dating a couple guys and see how your feelings progress if at all. There is nothing wrong with liking being with females if that is what makes you happy and comfortable. I am also pre-op/pre-T but I proudly call myself gay as men are all that I like. I even now couldn't ever see myself with a female.
Ultimately it's your decision as to how you deal with these feelings, but to keep men out of your life relationship wise if in your mind you see yourself with one down the road could mean you miss out on someone who might be your everything...now.
Quote from: Sarah_Faith on November 06, 2009, 03:35:55 PM
What a whirlwind my mind is, but let me try to explain :)
I use the term transgendered to refer to myself. I'm pre op, pre hormonal MtF. I'm also straight. Well, I'm fairly sure. It's quite weird. I'm 24. Always been attracted to women. Let me elaborate on that point a little more. When I see a woman, I don't think 'my god, she's beautiful, I want to be with her', I think 'my god she's beautiful, I want to be her'.
So my whole life has been a kind of attraction to women, but not at all to men. So. Here we get into the fun stuff. In my head, when I see myself fully transitioned, or even just imagining myself as fully female now, I can see myself quite comfortable with a guy. Please explain this to me as it makes very little sense to me.
I love the thought of the intimacy and been seen so genuinely as a woman.
I really can't see this as a sexual thing, as I don't find guys attractive, but in my female mind I can see myself with one!
So please ladies and gentlemen, shed your light on this one. Experience has shown me that in life, I'm never the only one :)
Sarah.x
You sound similar to me.
I can find both men and women attractive, but in different ways.
In terms of sexual attraction, I find the female body more attractive than the male body.
But in terms of relationships, I'd consider myself completely straight. In the sense that, I can't see myself with a guy AS a guy, I can't see myself with a girl AS a girl. I can only see myself pretending to be a guy with a girl, or being a girl with a guy.
So is that straight? I don't know, other people can label what I am if they want, I only see myself in a relationship with a guy, as a girl, or in a relationship with a girl pretending I'm a guy.
Maybe you're something like whatever I am. ;D
For me, I dicrovered that I'm trisexual. I'll try anything & don't trouble myself with those pesky labels, it' just not worth it. Let the foxes in the hen house, are the cows gonna get upset?
Quote from: asfsd4214 on November 06, 2009, 04:36:30 PM
You sound similar to me.
I can find both men and women attractive, but in different ways.
In terms of sexual attraction, I find the female body more attractive than the male body.
But in terms of relationships, I'd consider myself completely straight. In the sense that, I can't see myself with a guy AS a guy, I can't see myself with a girl AS a girl. I can only see myself pretending to be a guy with a girl, or being a girl with a guy.
So is that straight? I don't know, other people can label what I am if they want, I only see myself in a relationship with a guy, as a girl, or in a relationship with a girl pretending I'm a guy.
Maybe you're something like whatever I am. ;D
I hear you. Glad to see I'm not the only one. :)
much like me except I simply don't and can't see myself with a man , only with women especially as a girl it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside
Quote from: Bellaon7 on November 06, 2009, 04:51:48 PM
For me, I dicrovered that I'm trisexual. I'll try anything & don't trouble myself with those pesky labels, it' just not worth it. Let the foxes in the hen house, are the cows gonna get upset?
I like this approach :)
If I were ever able to transition I would want to stay with my wife, which I guess would make me a lesbian.
But to me its just being with who I love more than anything :)
Quote from: Sarah_Faith on November 06, 2009, 03:35:55 PM
What a whirlwind my mind is, but let me try to explain :)
I use the term transgendered to refer to myself. I'm pre op, pre hormonal MtF. I'm also straight. Well, I'm fairly sure. It's quite weird. I'm 24. Always been attracted to women. Let me elaborate on that point a little more. When I see a woman, I don't think 'my god, she's beautiful, I want to be with her', I think 'my god she's beautiful, I want to be her'.
So my whole life has been a kind of attraction to women, but not at all to men. So. Here we get into the fun stuff. In my head, when I see myself fully transitioned, or even just imagining myself as fully female now, I can see myself quite comfortable with a guy. Please explain this to me as it makes very little sense to me.
I love the thought of the intimacy and been seen so genuinely as a woman.
I really can't see this as a sexual thing, as I don't find guys attractive, but in my female mind I can see myself with one!
So please ladies and gentlemen, shed your light on this one. Experience has shown me that in life, I'm never the only one :)
Sarah.x
uh... yeah what she said! I totally can relate to you Sarah, glad to know I'm not the only one.
Sarah_Faith,
what you feel is perfectly normal, PERFECTLY NORMAL, if you'd ask me.
It is also why we ever so often tend to use gg partners as proxies.
We just WANT TO BE like them - desperately! Oh my...
Anything in the world to BE a female born female, yeah... you know then.
Axelle
I agree that your feelings and preferences are totally normal. Give yourself some leeway to work out what you really want. I'd be curious to see if things come into better focus once you're on hormones.
Well if you put yourself in someone elses being then you are them and not you
I think you should work with you
I tried a male just once as a male in a park and let him touch me and it grossed me out
I also played around with men at clubs when i was first a passable post op and it didn't do a thing for me..
I also went to the biggest lesbian festival in the world and they didn't do much for me either
I found out i loved me and i loved girls like me..
Hi Sarah,
What you have said is perfectly normal. What you are experiencing has everything to do with the genetics, hormones and (dare I say it) the DNA of your chromosomes. As these components change, so do various receptors in your brain change; resulting in these new perceptions of yours.
You have probably seen the typical structure of a DNA molecule. It's that twisted rope ladder type structure. As we age, our DNA structure starts to age as well. To simplify this; the ends of the DNA fibre are sealed with a protein to stop the 'ends' from 'fraying'. With age, this protein breaks down and the fibre 'ends' 'fray', altering the message this particular molecule should send to cell development. This is currently a major study point in Alzheimer's/ Dementia and a raft of other medical cases. In Alzheimer's research at the moment, they are investigating the possibility of 'grafting' 'ends' back on damaged DNA in order to establish correct function.
Also as you age, your 'E' levels will vary, which will effect brain receptors differently. Years ago I knew I looked at woman differently to men. In general, a man will look at a woman and think," I'd like to have sex with that woman". For myself, I'd look at the same woman and think, "I'd like to BE that woman". It may have been her sense of fashion, hair style, makeup or some part of her femininity that my femininity related to. In my teens/early 20's I had several submissive homosexual experiences. It was these experiences that I learnt, it was good to be able to satisfy men. Now, over the past 14 months I've been on a course of herbal phytoestrogen, and I've noticed my perception of men has changed to looking at them in the light of 'husband' material. I, too am pre-op, pre HRT, but not for long. the wheels are in motion to have all the boxes ticked ASAP.
So what you are experiencing is quite normal. The only thing left for you to do, is process your thoughts on the matter and decide what course of action, if any, you'll take. In the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa luv
Catherine
Guys, this is something I can't stress enough. For all that we do know regarding sexuality in the medical community, we don't know that much. Pretty much, HORMONES ARE WEIRD and they do weird things to people. I thought girls were gross for the longest time and considered myself a gay male until I set my head straight and realized I was a transsexual. And then I stopped being attracted to guys. Now I'm exclusively attracted to girls. Honestly, there's no telling where you'll end up, but it's not a bad thing to be gay, straight, bi, pan, or anything in between, so just let yourself gravitate naturally to what you want!
You aren't alone in how you feel Sarah. I know all my life whenever I saw a pretty woman the first thing that popped into my head is Wow I wish I can look like her. While I am also, or was, sexually attracted to women it took a long time getting to that point in a relationship. I am a big romantic and sex was never a big thing for me. I have fantasized, especially during sex with women, that I was the woman. That was a sure fire approach to an orgasm.
The two times in the past when I seriously considered transition I tried going out with guys and to clubs as part of the experiment. I could never feel attracted to any guy. Perhaps because I am such a romantic. I was sort of hoping for some "spark" to occur, but nuttin. Perhaps it was because I felt a lot more like some guy in a dress and not the real me.
These days I know how the real me feels. I feel so comfortable being out as a woman and totally happy being me! I still have those same old fantasies and thoughts of what it must be like to be with a guy. Somehow I suspect if I tried that part again the results may be different.
As an FTM, my experience has been that I have always been exclusively sexually attracted to women. Back in the days when I tried to 'conform' to please my family, I experimented with men but it completely disgusted me and felt unnatural. I also had my family assume that my fascinations with certain men were crushes, when in reality I wanted to be them.